New Jersey Friendship Circle Volunteers Bring Joy of Shabbat to Hospital Bound

by Shosh Bedrosian – chabad.org

It all started with the simple idea of bringing the feeling of Shabbat into hospital rooms for patients and their families. A decade later, it has evolved into feeding hundreds of people at eight area hospitals and senior homes in northern New Jersey.

Ten years ago, Dara Orbach, a Livingston, N.J., native was in a New York City hospital with her mother-in-law and Shabbat fast approaching. She was unclear as to how she would manage the time and figuring out when and how she would Shabbat light candles, but before she could worry too much, she received a Shabbat kit that left a lasting memory.

“We saw this beautiful box in the hospital that had everything we needed to make Shabbos, including electric candles, grape juice, and challah. It was really beautiful,” she said.

Orbach immediately brought the idea of creating Shabbat kits for their own New Jersey community to Rabbi Zalman and Toba Grossbaum, who co-direct Chabad-Lubavitch’s Friendship Circle of New Jersey, a department of Chabad of Livingston.

Friendship Circle runs programs and events for children and adults with special needs and their families, and promotes a greater awareness of the unique gifts of people with special needs. Programs occur at the $18 million, 53,000-square-foot LifeTown center, which opened its doors in 2018. With Orbach and her husband, David, spearheading the new Shabbat kit project, adults with special needs and volunteers began gathering every week to pack about 10 kits per week. As demand grew, they were soon preparing 100 Shabbat kits every week.

With those requests, Toba and Dara recognized that many patients could use not just a simple care package, but the uplift of a full home-cooked meal, prepared with love and delivered throughout the week. So began the Bikur Cholim kits, the Hebrew words bikur cholim referring to the mitzvah of visiting the sick.

Friendship Circle’s members and volunteers are involved in every aspect of the process—from peeling vegetables and mixing homemade soup to baking quiches and packing the bags for delivery. Gathering at LifeTown every Tuesday and Wednesday, they prepare close to 200 Shabbat kits and the additional 20 to 40 specially curated Bikur Cholim brunch bags for patients in local hospitals and those recovering at home. About a dozen of LifeTown’s nearly 1,000 volunteers pitch in to help from start to finish.

All items are made fresh every week by participants of the young adult program at LifeTown and are carefully wrapped into unique packaging with specially made labels, the names of each recipient, and a kosher hechsher symbol.

“We really put a lot of time and effort into the packaging. That it should just feel like a hug from the community in the hospital,” said Orbach.

“The feedback we have received from this program has been unbelievable,” said Grossbaum. She and her team received dozens of emails thanking them for their packages. Grossbaum shared with us some messages that read, “this made my life so much easier and it’s made with love” and “the mitzvah of sending these lovely bags packed with warmth and such detail to complete strangers in the hospital is immeasurable.”

Debbie Pfeiffer, a chaplain at Morristown Memorial Hospital, told Chabad.org it’s common for patients to feel isolated, lonely, and frustrated as they recover from their illnesses and medical procedures. Pfeiffer said she witnesses many of these patients receive Bikur Cholim bags from Friendship Circle, which brings an immediate change mentally and physically to them.

“When patients receive the brunch bag, they are touched beyond belief. It puts a smile on some faces and brings tears to others. It makes them feel a connection,” she said.

The packages have also reached people who typically wouldn’t observe Shabbat as well. “We want these boxes to go to anyone that needs them, however close and however far,” said Orbach.

Grossbaum explained the importance of involving Friendship Circle participants and how it gives the idea of helping others a full-circle purpose for their community.

“While they’re learning these skills and having a meaningful experience themselves, it’s especially meaningful because everyone wants to have an impact on this world and everyone wants to make a difference,” said Grossbaum. “Here they know the difference they are making, and that is priceless.”