Weddings Are So Loud, Make It Louder
by Rabbi Eli Friedman – Chabad of Calabasas
Taken from the weekly email from Rabbi Friedman to his community at Chabad of Calabasas
MAKE IT LOUDER!
Weddings are so loud. The music is so loud you can’t hear yourself think. And only when you put in your earplugs can you feel how loud it really is, because now you can feel the bass vibrating in your table and through your chair.
So unbelievably loud.
But what a beautiful noise! What a fabulous noise, shaking wedding hall walls, making banquet tables and chairs shudder and causing sophisticated floral arrangements to tremble. And in truth they’re not shaking, shuddering, or trembling – they’re dancing along with the happiness in the room, the joy in the hearts of the bride and the groom and their parents who’ve waited long for this moment.
The world is filled with noise, come to think of it. All kinds of noise, shaking the world right now. Vulgar chants, lies and ugly slander against perfectly good people, shouts and screams of foolish people who are wasting all their G-d-given energy on wasteful, hateful hooting and hollering.
October 7 was a painfully loud day. It was the crashing crescendo of years and years of evil noise. Rockets and sirens and more and more terrible sounds, sounds that pierce eardrums and shatter hearts.
This wedding noise, this earsplitting joy – I’ll take it. I’ll take it all, any day, every day. The pounding, blasting, blaring and rattling of trombones, crash cymbals and percussions – bring it on. Deafening happiness!
One day in 1994, a group of Chabad Yeshiva boys went to pray at the Manhattan hospital where the Rebbe was undergoing a procedure. On their way home, as their van was entering the Brooklyn Bridge, their lives exploded in the awful noise of submachine-gunfire. A murderous antisemite raked both sides of the van with gunfire as he roared his hate for Jews. So much noise, so much evil noise.
One of the boys, Ari Halberstam, was murdered in cold blood and others in the van were hurt and badly traumatized.
Over the years following the attack, I got to know many of the survivors. One of them was named Nachum. He was seriously injured in the attack and he hovered between life and death for a few days before making a miraculous recovery, though he still suffers from the effects of the gunshot wounds he received. Another one was named Yossi. He wasn’t hit, and he eventually became a good friend of mine.
This Wednesday, Yossi and his wife celebrated the wedding of their daughter, their first child to get married, and I went to join the celebration. It was a rip-roaring party, a beautiful Simcha, Baruch Hashem!
And of course, the music was so loud!
But watching that happy ballroom full of dancing and rejoicing, I saw something magical (I snapped a photo of it and blurred it here for privacy) – there was Yossi, off to the side of the dance floor, smiling and dancing with the aforementioned Nachum. I thought, louder, louder, louder! Bang those drums, blast those trumpets, shake those rattles, stomp your feet, shout and sing – it’s a mighty happy sound!!!
It’s the sound of the Jewish People triumphing over those who keep trying to destroy us! It’s the glorious sound of goodness emerging victorious, of life marching onward, joyful and energetic, purposeful and meaningful, happy and holy and full of love, just as the Rebbe wanted it.
An evil man tried to kill everyone in that van that day, he tried with all his might. His ilk keep on trying, trying with all they’ve got. And in the thirtieth year after that wicked attempt on their lives, Yossi and Nachum danced and sang together, happy for each other, happy for themselves, and no doubt Ari was dancing right there with them, happy for them, proud of their triumph, of his triumph.
The thunderous joy of that beautiful night drowned out the violent noise of that dark day, and a loud, pounding orchestra replaced the sounds of pain with the sound of “bride and groom, joy and gladness, rejoicing, happiness, celebration and cheer, love and companionship, peace and friendship.”
And as we say in the prayers under the Chupah, that’s not loud enough, that’s not enough noise! Come on G-d, make it louder! Turn up the volume of our rejoicing, dear Father in Heaven!
Bring on the real uproar, as King David says in Tehillim: when Moshiach comes the oceans will roar, the mountains and hills will burst into song, and all the world’s trees will give a thunderous ovation.
When the Big DJ in Heaven will let loose with this holy noise, then we will all dance and dance and dance, and tears of joy will flow like rivers and seas, blasting evil away in a torrent of happiness, once and for all.
Mazal Tov, Mazal Tov.
True Emes
No joking. Loud wedding music caused deafness. Relating this to terrorism is pure foolishness.
M Lew
Highly amplified music is just noise. Noise is indicative of war, not simcha. lt is sad to see babies with noise cancelling headphones, to see children of all ages without ear protectionwhen there is high volume noise. It is sad when a person has to shout Mazal Tov into someone’s ear.
Simple Yid
Every wedding should have earplugs for those of us that want to hear later in life.
Zalman
This article is really off, when hearing loss from loud wedding music is a serious issue in our community
Seriously??
That doesn’t negate the point of this article. Don’t push someone else down to raise yourself up.
The positive spin the author put on the situation is incredibly true and accurate. Don’t like loud music? Start a petition for free earplugs.
A real Jew
California, that says it all
Anonymous
Kol haposel bmumo posel.You push everybody down to express your nonsense. A sekune is worse than an isur
Depressing comments
How sad that the commenters on this beautiful article completely miss the point of the article. Marveling at the beauty of the ear shattering noise at the wedding of his friend’s child, a friend who survived a terror attack, and celebrating this beautiful noise over the noise of war and terror, is a beautiful thing.
Sad
The comments here are shockingly sad. The fact that the loudmouths who take the time to comment can so totally miss the powerful point of this article and get hung up on the loud music problem (which the author clearly doesn’t like, hence the earplugs he mentioned).
Stop harping on the negative and appreciate a masterfully written, tear-jerking letter about life and victory over evil.
Unbelievable
Mushkie
Let me get this straight, are you saying: Loud = freilich and lebedik? Loud = kedusha? When Mordechai heard Haman’s decree, ויצעק צעקה גדולה ומרה, He shouted a LOUD and bitter shouting. When people fight – they SHOUT. When people are happy they SING. Singing is not shouting. It can be soft, but definitely not ear piercing. This article is really off!
Ahavas Yisrael
The lack of kindness in these comments is a reflection on the commenters.
Yes, we are all aware of the loud music issue. We all hate the loud music. But why trample on this beautiful spin on it???
Try bringing Moshiach, not hate.
The Rebbe stressed ahavas Yisrael. where’s yours?
So embarrassing for you.