Weekly Story: The Promise Part 2

by Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon

In continuation to the story we began last week, Rabbi Levy had mesiras nefesh to keep Shabbos and would learn with his children every day. His oldest son Moshe was making tremendous progress, but then Rabbi Levy became quite ill and could no longer work or learn with his children. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 6 Blessing His Children

           One day, when the children were in yeshiva, Rabbi Levy asked his wife to make sure to wake him shortly before the children came home as he wished to speak to them. Trying to control her emotions she asked him if he had the strength to speak to all of them in one day, since normally he would learn or speak to the younger children one day and Moshe on a different day.

            “I hope that Hashem gives me the strength,” Rabbi Levy replied, and he closed his eyes falling asleep.

            When the younger children came home, she gave them something to eat. While they were eating, she awoke her husband and after washing his hands, he took a drink and asked if the children were home.

            “As soon as they finished eating, I will bring them in,” she said, and went out of the room to call them. “His voice sounded louder and clearer than most days,” she thought to herself, “Maybe a miracle will still happen.”

            Rabbi Levy asked them how they were doing in school and what they were learning. After they answered him, he tested them on what they learned that day and reminded them of how proud he is of them and of the importance of paying attention in class. He also told them to always listen to Mommy and obey her.

            The children were so happy. Father spoke clearly and said that he was proud of how well they were doing. They replied, “We always listen to Mommy, even when she tells us to do the homework and go to sleep.”

            “Excellent, children,” he said, “And remember to always do so.”

            “We will,” they replied.

            Rabbi Levy then told them to come close to him. With all his strength, he rolled to his side and kissed each one.

            Leaving the room, they were in heaven. It had been months since their father spoke to them for more than a few minutes and kissed them. What a treat!

            Rabbi Levy was exhausted and thoroughly drained, so he rested on the pillow.

            He knew he had to be strong when he spoke to Moshe’le in an hour or so. Letting himself fall asleep, he knew that his wonderful wife would awaken him once again.

            As soon as Moshe came home, his brother greeted him with the wonderful news of how strong father was. He tested us and spoke clearly, and he even kissed us. They were so happy.

            Moshe came in expecting to see a similar expression from his mother, but she was in father’s room. As soon as she heard the younger children running to tell Moshe the wonderful news, she went to see if her husband was up to speaking to him.

            Rabbi Levy was asleep. She gently awoke him, and he asked for some water to wash his hands and to take a drink. He then asked if Moshe was home as he wanted to speak to him.

            Mrs. Levy left the room and as his brothers told him, father asked him what he learned today and asked a few questions, which Moshe answered.

            Rabbi Levy told him how he is such a wonderful influence on his younger brothers and how proud he is of him. Hearing this, Moshe swelled with happiness, proud that he is making his father happy.

            Taking a deep breath, Rabbi Levy then said, “My dear Moshe’le, I see that the future is going to be very difficult for you. I am asking you to promise me just one thing. Moshe’le, promise me that you will always wear your tzitzis properly.”

            Stunned by the sudden realization that father is implying to him that he is not getting better, in fact he is becoming weaker and weaker, Moshe began sobbing. He was also bewildered by what his father just said and between his sobs he said, “Father, I always wear my tzitzis properly and daven and learn. Of course, I will always continue to do so. Father, why do you ask this?”

            “Moshe,” his father replied weakly, “Yes, I know that you are very good and helpful, but I also see that the next few years are not going to be easy ones for you. So therefore, I am asking you, my last request to you is, Moshe’le come close to me, hold my hand and promise me that you will always wear your tzitzis properly. That will save you.”

            Trembling with fear, Moshe moved closer to his father and made the promise he requested. In a whisper Rabbi Levy then asked him to bend his head close as he blessed him with birchas bonim and kissed him.

            Rabbi Levy then fell back to his pillows and began breathing extremely heavy. He was exhausted and drained, however, he was serene. He knew that he had done everything in his power to help his precious Moshe. Yes, he may stumble and fall, but it will be a temporary fall. Moshe will get back up and proudly carry the family torch.

Chapter 7 The Resolve

             Seeing that his father was fast asleep, Moshe quietly walked out of the room. He was confused and bewildered. Why did his father ask and indeed force him to promise to always wear tzitzis properly? Did his father suspect that otherwise he wouldn’t wear tzitzis? And what did his father mean that it will save you. Then there was the scariest point, was his father saying a final farewell? Did that mean… oy he can’t even think that.

            Luckily mother wasn’t there when he came out of the room or perhaps, she purposely wasn’t there, oy, he didn’t know what to think anymore. What is going to be?

            Moshe went to shul to daven maariv and began to cry silently when he said the brocha of Rifueino (heal us). If only his father would become better, and this nightmare would be over. But, from his father’s words he didn’t know what to think. Hashem, please give me strength to help my mother with my younger brothers.

            Coming home he went directly to his room, trying to fall asleep. But sleep was impossible, his mind was thinking of what he didn’t dare think. What would happen to the family after…..

            The next morning, he woke up and helped his brothers get dressed. Coming downstairs he saw his mother and it was obvious she didn’t sleep too well. Trying to remain calm, she prepared breakfast and told them to have a good time in yeshiva and study well. When Moshe came home, his brothers were standing on the porch waiting for him. Dr. Feld was inside and mommy was crying, they told him, as they too began to cry. Acting strong, Moshe took each one’s hand and said, “Together we will be strong,” and they walked into the house.

            He saw their mother speaking with the doctor and was able to hear only a few comments, 

            “I understand,” said Dr. Feld, and he picked up his bag to leave. “But remember, don’t hesitate to call me even if it is in the middle of the night.” He then left as Mrs. Levy just shook her head.

            Pulling herself together, she said, “Children, come and eat supper.” As they sat by the table, she served them and reminded them to do their homework. Realizing his mother needs help, Moshe said to his brothers, “I will help you”.

            His mother turned around and said, “Thank you Moshele”. The look of gratitude showed through her anxiety and fatigue and Moshe promised to himself that he will do anything and everything possible to help his mother.

            The next day went as usual. But the following morning, when they came down for breakfast, Dr. Feld was there waiting for them. After they ate, he told them that mother was in the room with father, and they should daven at home, and their mother would decide if they should go to yeshiva.

            While the younger boys protested since they were eager to go to Yeshiva, Moshe felt as if he was going to faint.

            Some time later, mother entered the living room and told the younger boys to get their school bags. While they were going to their room, she told Moshe, you will take them to school, but then you are to come home.

            Thankful that his mother understood his feelings and the fact that it would be impossible for him to concentrate or even sit calmly, he greeted his brothers with a grin and said, “Ready? Let’s go,” and off they went.

            After dropping them off, he walked home very slowly. His mind was racing, he had sensed for some time that this will happem, but he never wanted to think about it. “What will be now? How would mother cope? Yes, I am positive that father’s many admirers and friends would help out, but for how long. If one of them finds mother a job, what time would she have to leave the house and return? It is going to be so difficult.”

            Then, talking to himself, he said, “Moshe, be strong, you will have to help out.”

            With that thought, he walked home and as soon as he came in went over to mother and said, “Mother, I am ready and able to help you. I will be able to get them ready for school and help them with their homework.”

            Moshe wanted to say so much more but mother just hugged him and said “Moshe, you were always a big help and thank you.”

            He then did some errands and picked up his brothers. The evening passed uneventfully, and they all went to sleep. But that night they were awakened by crying and many voices. Father had passed away and all their aunts and uncles were talking and crying with mother.

            The burial and the week of shiva passed by quickly and awkwardly. Although his classmates had come, it was noticeable that they had felt extremely uncomfortable. What were they supposed to say Moshe? How could they comfort him? Boruch Hashem all of their parents are alive and healthy. How could they understand what his feelings were? They talked for a few minutes and said or read the passuk one says in the home of the mourner and left.

            The one exception was Gavriel. He was always so quiet in class and didn’t speak too much during their free time either. He was so studious and sometimes studied instead of going to recess.

            After the other boys left, he sat down next to Moshe and quietly asked, “Is there anything you want to talk about?” When Moshe replied no, he just said, “I will come back tomorrow and if you want to know what’s happening in yeshiva or anything else, I will be glad to tell you.”

            Sure enough, he came back the next evening and chatted a little, just saying what’s happening in the class and left. This repeated itself for a few days and on the sixth day of shiva he said, “Moshe, if you want to study and catch up on what we learned this past week, I will be happy to learn with you, whenever it is good for you, I will be there.”

            Moshe thanked him and realized that Gavriel meant it and that he actually would need his help in catching up.

 Chapter 8    A New Beginning

            Shiva ended and the streams of people stopped coming to their house. Now they were supposed to go back to their regular life, but life was anything but regular.

            Saying kaddish in the house with his younger brothers was one thing, but taking them to shul the next day was something else. Moshe felt that everyone was just looking at them in pity. He would have preferred not to take them, but he promised his mother that he would help her and therefore he would do it, even if he didn’t enjoy it.

            When Moshe walked into the classroom, almost all the boys stopped their conversations, as no one knew what to do. Yes, Rabbi Gold told them yesterday to act normal, but what were they supposed to do or say?

            Gavriel was the first to speak, he said, “Moshe, since the gemorah test was yesterday, I think Rabbi Gold is going to start a new mishna. If you want during recess time we will review the Chumash of last week. You know I don’t enjoy playing anyways, so you will keep me company.”

            Everyone was shocked. Gavriel, who never spoke in front of the whole class, was the only one who knew how to act normally, and he was the one who spoke. Once the ice was broken, the other boys all began talking until Rabbi Gold walked in the room. Everyone immediately went to their desks and sat quietly as the class began.

            Rabbi Gold explained the Mishna and began asking questions. When he noticed from Moshe’s expression that he knew the answer, he called on him and complimented him on how well he explained it. Moshe was grateful that Rabbi Gold was very close to his father and was willing to go beyond a teacher’s responsibility to help him. He really wanted to do well and put a smile on his mother’s face.

            The weeks passed and Moshe indeed made good on his promises. He helped take care of his younger brothers, getting them to yeshiva as well as to shul to say kaddish. With Gavriel’s help, he made progress in class and his marks were back to the way they used to be. He was at the top of the class. Yes, he was making mother proud.

Chapter 9 Summer Plans

           As the summer was approaching, everyone in class was talking about their plans. Only a few boys were going away to overnight camp, (as in those days Jewish overnight camps were a novelty). Some families went away for the summer, but that was not an option for him so he listened to the boys who were staying in the city. Some were going to a local day camp, while others were going to help in their parents’ stores.

            Moshe thought, “I could help out in so many ways. Take the boys to camp and bring them home and maybe I could be the delivery boy for Mr. Mittleman or someone else. I could help my mother pay some of the bills and I won’t feel guilty asking her to buy me something as I will be able to buy it with my own money. And Gavriel said he wants to learn with me for an hour a day. We will learn mishne in memory of Abba. Oh how I miss him.”

            The following week, Mrs. Levy received a letter that Yeshivos Toras Emes sent out to its parents, reminding them to register for the upcoming school year as well as finding an appropriate summer camp for their children.

            Mrs. Levy knew that the younger boys wanted to go to the camp they were in last year. But Moshe was a different story, since already last year he said he wasn’t happy there. Rabbi Gold advised her to send Moshe to a sleep away camp and promised to raise the money. But she was afraid that it would be too difficult for him, as well as for the younger ones and for her as well. Moshe was such a big help. Oy, if only Rabbi Levy would be here, he would know what to do.

            The next day a few boys came into class and mentioned that they received the letter and told everyone else  that their parents will also receive it or already read it. That got the boys into the discussion of what each one is doing and when Moshe said he is not sure, they all nodded in understanding.

            When he came home, he first helped serve dinner and then helped his brothers with their homework. After they went to sleep, he came down and mentioned to his mother about the letter.

            She replied, “It just came and I am going to look into the options.” Happy that she didn’t make a decision yet, Moshe told his mother of his plan.

            “You are taking upon yourself too much responsibility, although that’s really thoughtful. Maybe you should go away for at least part of the summer and be able to enjoy the summer like a boy your age should.

            “I would rather stay home and do nothing than go away to camp,” Moshe replied empathetically. The way he said it demonstrated that it was going to be a hard sell, so she said, “I see how you feel and I will consider it, and we will discuss it next week.”

            Moshe was upset at how he answered her, but he really wanted to be home. He was afraid that without him something terrible might happen.  “Yes, I am being a little paranoid, but that is how I feel,” he thought.

            Two days later before the lunch break, Rabbi Gold asked each boy what their plans for the summer were. Moshe was relieved to hear that other boys were also planning not to go to a camp. The only difference was that they would be helping out in the family’s store for at least 5 or 6 hours a day, if not longer. He on the other hand could work for Mr. Mittleman an hour before shacharis and 2 hours later. How is he going to spend the rest of the day, and not be bored of doing nothing? Yes, Gavriel would be available to learn for an hour a day during the first month, but what about the rest of the day and the entire second math. Hopefully I will find someone to learn and play with, thought Moshe.

            During lunch recess, Rabbi Gold spoke to each boy who replied that he was staying home and not going to camp. Without asking if the decisions were based on money problems, he was able to figure it out. Levi informed him that the family was going to his grandparents for half of the summer. Yanky mentioned that their family is planning to go on a family trip, and Yehudah said that his cousins are visiting them, while Pinny and Yossi are going to help out in the family store.

            However, the three other boys who were staying home just shrugged their shoulders and Rabbi Gold understood the true reason. He asked them if they would consider going to camp. David showed an interest, Yirmi said he didn’t know, but Moshe said, “No! I can’t be separated from the family, I need to be with them and they need to be with me.” Rabbi Gold realized the loss of their father was still so painful, and while it would be better for Moshe to go away, Moshe would never agree to it. So he offered to learn with Moshe every evening some mishnayos between mincha and maariv. “Hopefully, I will be able to help him. Oy! What a pity on such a young and great boy”

            Two days later, Rabbi Gold’s efforts were crowned with success when Dovid excitedly told everyone that his parents changed their mind, and he is going to a sleep away (overnight) camp. However, he felt sorry for Yirmi, who was staying home because one of his brothers was going to have a surgery and he would be in the hospital for at least two weeks, so he was needed to help out at home. Boruch Hashem, it was not a life-threatening surgery, but he is going to miss out the special friendship of camp. However, Moshe was in a very sad situation.  

On the one hand he was needed at home, being a tremendous help to his mother. But on the other hand, he is way too young to be on his own for the two-and-a-half-month break. What is he going to do the whole day, and the main question is, with whom is he going to spend his time? Is that person or persons going to have a positive influence on Moshe or chas v’shalom not.

Chapter 10 A Fateful Decision

          The summer began for Moshe as planned. He woke up early, made the deliveries for Mr. Mittleman, and then came home to take his brothers to shul in order that they all say the kaddish. After breakfast he took them to day camp, and besides for the hour that he learned with Gavriel, he had nothing to do. Yes, sometimes he was asked if he would help out in the day camp. But most of the days he waited until after three, when it was time to pick up his brothers.

            The first week he was busy tidying up the house, room by room. But by the second week he was already bored. No more drawers to straighten out, what was he to do? So he sat on the steps outside his house looking to do something. He began going to Mittlemans’ grocery store a half hour early and would stock the shelves just to keep himself occupied. Doing nothing is very very boring.

            One day, he saw a few boys carrying a bag and holding their mitts. Moshe understands that they were going to the park to play ball, but he didn’t know them as none of them went to his yeshiva. He realized that some of them are probably Jewish boys who go to public school, but they are not his type, they have no understanding what yiddishkeit is, and it is better not to hang around them.

            But as the days passed by without anything to do and he noticed them a few more times, Moshe figured, nothing is wrong in going to the park and watching them play. That will be more interesting than counting how many cars go by and seeing which color is most popular. Some days it was blue, while other days it was black and one day it was white.

            So the next time he saw them going, he decided he would go and watch them after eating lunch. He went inside, washed for hamotzie, ate his sandwich, and bentched birchat hamazon. He then filled up a bottle with water and walked to the park.

            The game had already begun, so he sat down on one of the benches on the side and watched. Nothing spectacular happened in the next hour and a half, but it sure was better than sitting on your steps. He got up and went to pick up his brothers.

            Now his days were complete. He woke up early to make his deliveries, took his brothers to daven and say kaddish, came home, did a few errands for his mother, studied with Gavriel for an hour, ate lunch, then went to the park until it was time to pick up his brothers, watching them until their mother came home, and then he made additional deliveries for Mr. Mittleman’s grocery. That would be followed by supper, mincha, and maariv.

            Mrs. Levy was so grateful for all of Moshe’s help. He was so reliable that she was able to work additional hours earning extra money. So the next Friday when Moshe proudly handed her eighteen dollars and seventy five cents, she said, “Moshe’le, take a few dollars and buy something for yourself”.

            Moshe thanked her, but he never thought of himself. So, he ran to the bakery and bought everyone’s favorite pastry. It will be a treat for everyone. It has been almost a year since their mother bought it, and everyone will be happy. This is what Tatty would want.

            In the morning Moshe told his brothers that there is a special treat if they behave and daven properly. Full of anticipation, they behaved like angels eagerly wanting the treat.

            When the Shabbos meal was over, Moshe said to everyone, “Wait a minute. Before we begin to bentch, I have to get something.” Bringing a bag to the table, they all tried to guess what he had.

            Handing the shopping bag to his mother, Moshe said, “Mommy please give everyone their treat. Mrs. Levy opened up the bag and looked inside. Her exclamation of “Wow,” told Moshe all he wanted to hear. His mother was so happy. When she pulled it out, everyone jumped up in joy and shouted gleefully. Moshe smiled proudly.

            The weeks were passing by swiftly, Moshe was so happy that he was able to bring back joy and laughter in the Levy’s house. Things are going to be good. Yes, we all miss Abba so much, but Abba’s proud of us and that is all that counts. The only one that wasn’t smiling now was himself, he was always concerned and worried about everyone else.

            By now, Moshe was a lone permanent fixture in the stands in the park. He clapped when someone made a big hit or a fantastic catch. Some of the boys would come to him and even chat a few words between innings.

            One day, when he came to the park he was surprised. Everyone was just standing there waiting to play. He thought he noticed one of the boys pointing to him and speaking to the others, but he dismissed it. However, a minute later, two of the boys came over to him and asked if he ever played ball.

            “Not as much or as good as any of you guys,” Moshe replied, “but in school, I played many positions.”

            They responded, “A few boys couldn’t come today, so we were wondering if you could be the official pitcher for both teams?”

            “Sure,” Moshe said, “I will enjoy doing it, but I don’t have a glove. Also, I can only be here for another hour and a half until I have to pick up my brothers.” “No problem,” they replied. “We will give you a mitt and an hour and a half of playing is better than no game at all. Let’s begin. Thanks a million.”

            After a few practice pitches, Moshe was ready and the game began. By the sixth inning he looked at his watch and told everyone, “Sorry, but I have to go now.”

            They all came over, shook his hand and thanked him, telling him it is a pity that we didn’t know how good you were all these weeks, you could be a regular! You are good.

            Moshe enjoyed praise and this was the first time he was praised in a long time by boys of his age. Sure, Rabbi Gold heaped praise on him when they learned together the two times a week. But Moshe felt that was more to encourage him than anything else. “These boys genuinely praised me,” and Moshe walked home smiling.

            He played two more times with these boys before yeshiva began for the new year. And while they were sitting on the bench waiting to bat, he spoke with a few of the boys, and began to feel that they were nice boys. They respected that he was religious while their families only kept some traditions, but they were nice. 

Rabbi Avtzon is a veteran Mechanech and the author of numerous books on the Rebbeiim and their chassidim. He can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com