Survivor: Disbelief More Painful than the Abuse Itself
Ruth Krevsky, a survivor of CSA, went public with her story at a JCW awareness event held recently in Montreal.
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ב"ה
wow!
powerful!
amazing
wow !! she has courage..
these rabbis make me sick, and what makes
it worse are the people and rabbis that turn the other way.
The nazis were evil, and those that were silent,
well you be the judge.
i hope all those rabbis get whats coming for them….
why dont they mention his name
people should know
Anonymous
Would you like to hold the responsibility of going along with and specifically encouraging the transgression of loshon hara?! The reason why the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed was because of this! We need to make changes, not to live in the past but the future.
thank u
respect and only love to !! thank u
for opening ur heart to the world !
respect
old timer
Very well said. Just a small point to note. Not everyone who has been abused needs to go “go off the derech!” Every religion has bad apples, and don’t blame the “religion” blame the person who abused!!!
Unbelieved abused person
The abuse done to me was not sexual; it was verbal, emotional, and financial abuse (with occasional physical, though not the kind that causes medical injuries — spitting in my face and hair, shoving, grabbing my clothing and holding me up against the wall while shouting into my face).
I went to a known supposed mashpia in Crown Heights who already knew the perp. (husband) because he learned in this mashpia’s (rabbi’s) daily shiur, sitting there every day like a blissed-out angel.
This mashpia basically didn’t believe me either, saying “How bad can it really be? You always look put together and well.”
My point is that it never even occurred to me to go off the derech as a result of this “not being believed”. And I’m sure most who experience abuse — sexual or otherwise — do not go off the derech, though for sure some do (though often only temporarily; we never hear much about the ones who come back, but there are many!).
Instead, my central thought was to go to a wiser mashpia, who of course believed me.
you don't understand
it’s not just the abuser. It’s a lot easier to write off an abuser than all the other people, rabbis and board members, who then made these women/girls repeat every detail in front of them multiple times, and came up with every non-plausible reason not to believe it. IME, these are the people who make survivors go off the derech, more than the actual abuser. And the guy who spat in her face? Inexcusable. These are the people who give religion a bad name.
O.T . boy 73-76
very courages , kol hakovode for
sharing the truth . we do believe you
may hashem keep you strong
I am SO sorry you had to endure this!!
What a beast! Both the creature who assaulted you and the ‘so-called Rabbis’!!
It’s SO disgusting. May Hashem wreak vengeance upon each of them Now!
May you, and everyone else who was abused, be comforted!
I believe we should name them publicly so Others would know. There must be Some Website on which their names can be listed, No?
Anonymous
PUBLIC OUTCRY.
Dayanim Rabbanim Do us a favor vet properly before issuing Semicha and then follow ups if they (Rabbis) can still hold that title.
Parents:
Do our children a favor Teach your children common sense and teach them too their body is theirs alone. And to say No is not chutzpah!!!
Survivors:
Know this is not life changing this is an awful experience that you should never had to be put through but yet you will get help and move on and know that no person or circumstance will stand in your way of success. Despite this you will grow and move on and live happy and productive life.
So true!
To old timer:
Me and members of my family also suffered
abuse, but by secular. So, no matter where you
go (e.g. another religion, atheism, etc.) you’re
going to find these terrible things going on. So, what
then? Are you going to keep going off their derech, ad infinitum?
It is very unfortunate that the Rabbis are stymied by this. But, here is the problem, as Dov Hikind pointed out years ago, when he became the first frum politician to blow the whistle. The people who are doing this are, ordinarily, coming off as some off the greatest tzaddikim you can imagine – “NO, him?! Can’t be, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Now, what if it was your child doing this or someone you really love, Ch”V, doing these terrible things? How fast and eager would you be to report this individual to the authorities? Some might do so, but now you can understand why many would be reluctant.
No, get this, what if you are the one who loses control and does something regretful? A famous question is,”What is the profile of a child molester?” The answer is,”Just go look in the mirror.”
Levi
Amazing very strong person you are! Thanks
Please
If you are going to tell a story like this, please let the public know the name of the abuser. It’s unfair not to share this information with the public.
wow
now i find out the news.
i am a minority i was not abused!
to believe
if you want to be believed there is a/one way and that is GO TO THE POLICE!
Larry
How come they don’t come out and say who is this Rabbi was.by her saying the story And not saying his name she’s also protecting him so what’s the point. just trying to understand. And that is the worst thing instead of giving you a benefit of the doubt and listening that there may be some truth to a story they Rightaway throw you under a bus that goes also between married couples when a woman goes to a rabbi for some reason the woman is never believed that in itself must be so much pain more than physical or mental abuse that would go on between A married couple The whole Rabbi thing is such a hogwash they don’t even have a clue how to go about these type of things whether it’s abuse which children marriage issues what do they know will tell you to say a blessing and MoveOn
FOR THESE COWARDS
It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.
Citizen Berel
Is this child abuse week? I mean I seriously can’t get enough of these of template articles but there have been more than the usual in the past week.
appreciated one
how pathetic you are. may your forefathers turn over in their grave for your insensitive disgusting comment.
we are here and coming out coming forward and exposing those so called pigs as rabbis who do this to children, destroying the lives of innocent neshamas. you and them both have huge spiritual blood on your hands. you should be ashamed of yourself, perhaps make a revaluation of who you are….. im going to barf from your comment… as she said, “the abuse in that meeting was more traumatizing then the abuse itself”
Citizen Berel
After you clean up after yourself, take a good look at your guillotine of a comment and consider whether indulging in the absolute worse side of yourself, with an unbounded sense of rectitude, furthers or hinders your spiritual growth.
Unlike many of the modern social problems this one is real. But…wait for it, this is gonna hurt…this one is now mostly contained. The numbers have always been overblown, just as they are for any victimhood, casting no aspersions – I know you are a true believer – but the modern world doesn’t lack awareness. Parents watch their back and teach kids to suspect skeletons in *every* closet and would be perpetrators know that in our social media crazed society there isn’t anywhere to hide and everything done is forever. So, may one dare to ask:
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
Is there an end game for you guys, or is the war the end in itself? is there a point where we don’t need 5 articles and victim heroisms a week on local websites to address issues that frankly have nothing to do with most healthy reasonably vigilant people, or does fear and loathing and mistrust need fill the earth as water fills the ocean bed?
It’s a real problem when the media make the world seem way darker than it is. Victims should not control the narrative.
NUMBER 14
whilst Rabbis might not know how to deal with this issue getting a bunch of low lifes to run such an organization is just as criminal. My friend was personally threatened to be put on their site if he did not give untrue evidence about one of the people they had a personal gripe against and therefore decided to incriminate him WITHOUT A SHRED OF PROOF OR EVIDENCE of any wrong doing. Just like they did to poor totally innocent Daniel Granevetter (he wrote of his saga in “In the lions den”). He only did not sue seawald because it was more than he could stand emotionally after what they had put him through for ABSOLUTELY NO VALID REASON WHATSOEVER!!!1
Mr. Nash should be a little more careful who he supports.
RUTH KREVSKY
I’m so sorry for what you went thru, and yes Rabbi’s in general do not support women, but by not giving the Rabbi’s name you are creating doubts of the validity of your story. If it were me I would be shouting his name from the rooftops where ever I go. I would hand out flyers warning other parents.
to all the gulible street judges
we believe that she was abused because she said so.
we believe that she had to give graphic details of her experience because she said so.
we believe that they accused her of being on drugs because she said so.
we believe that there were another 7 victims because she said so. although not 1 of the 7 showed up at the event to back her up.
don’t you guys realize that Jcw is using this as a technique to brainwash the community that our institutions are hiding cases of abuse under the rug hoping to terrorize our institutions so that they jump to jcw’s request and they legitimize this technique by not using names of the institutions and not the locations and don’t give names of board members because there no such animals.
to all the gulible street judges
please be advised that after 120 you are shown a video of all your actions in this world and they ask you to judge the person on the video not knowing that the person on the video is you.
If you are prone to jump to quick judgments it will haunt you down in the real world for eternity.
iamgenious
sad…..but what a strong special woman. a REAL aishes chayil
To Number 19
It is so rare for someone to lie about being abused. 99% if the time they are telling the truth. People are afraid to speak up as it is and people like you who accuse them of lying make it so much worse. Why on earth would she lie the disadvantages outweigh any possible benefits. The only reason she would speak out is to protect others. Kol Hakavod to Ruth you are so brave.
Please
These comments reek of ppl who r looking for an excuse- any reasons– to bash rabbis
Open ur eyes
There r all kinds of evil ppl in this world who are dressed as rabbis, priests, leaders etc
That doesn’t make all of those titles bad
Cmon
Back in those days the police also laughed off some victims
No one knew hiw to taje care of it
Not just the rabbis
If u choose to leave the derech don’t blame it on the rabbis- be mature enough to admit it’s ur own decision and not cuz of someone else
Yes there r bad ppl everywhere- its not religions fault
Religion is against this too
why are people so scared?
why are so many of our leaders so scared to acknowledge and deal with abuse? I genuinely do not understand.
I’m watching this and two days ago I read the letter sent from Lubavitch headquarters to the yeshiva center in Melbourne. For years they have been silent, and now finally they make a statement, and what is it? You cannot make any changes without our authority. We are in charge. And what do they want to do? Keep in positions of authority the very people who covered up the abuse for decades.
It’s pure insanity.
This is a very misleading article
Why?
Because it implies that whatever happened, happened in Montreal.
This lady is not from Montreal; she is from an out-of-town community..
Misleading article.
Not nice.
Kollel?
This clearly happened in an out of town, misnagdishe kehillah, yet, what is being implied is that this happened in Montreal.
Very misleading.