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Mashpia on Confronting Dangerous Internet Addictions

This past Shabbos, the North Miami Beach community and Yeshiva Torah Ohr were graced with a visit from Rabbi Shlomo Sternberg, Mashpia in Oholei Torah.

After spending the entire shabbos farbrenging in honor of yud doled kislev, Rabbi Sternberg addressed the community motzei shabbos regarding the importance of taking precautions to ensure healthy and safe internet use.

While Rabbi Sternberg is an internet user himself – for tasks such as email communications, and helping run “Adopt a family” (an organization dedicated to helping families and shluchim in need, founded by his father in law Rabbi Menachem Mendel Gluckowsky) – he warned about the great dangers of unsupervised internet effecting people of all ages and how it can ruin lives.

He told countless stories of extremely chasidishe members of anash who fell prey to the temptations and filth available with the click of a mouse. He related how one mechanech of Crown Heights succumbed to a loathsome internet addiction, and after hearing Rabbi Sternberg speak last Elul in Crown Heights, decided to sign up for a step by step help program. Seeking to remain anonymous, he registered for an addiction help program which was sponsored by a church. To his surprise, everyone registered at the program were Yidden, and the majority were members of anash. This mechanoch even met a parent of one of his students. At first the mechanoch tried to sneak away….yet the parent of his student confronted him and told him he needs to stay for the help, and how he respects him more for having the courage the recognize his addiction and heal himself.

While it is best to avoid internet in the home if possible, Rabbi Sternberg said if one finds it necessary to have access at all times, it is mandatory to have “white filters,” which only allow access to approved sites, authorized by more than one member of the household – so that a joint decision can be made as to what is appropriate.

After the presenatation on the internet, Rabbi Sternberg spoke with the bochorim of Yeshiva Torah Ohr on the shidduchim method used in the frum world, and covered topics such as dating and building a successful Jewish home.

He related how the secular world has a 75% divorce rate, which is due in part to people wanting to get married based solely on physical attraction. When the physical attraction disappears, so to does the marriage. Traditional yidden, he proclaimed, seek a spouse with the goal of Jewish continuity, and therefore the proper way to go about shidduchim is to heavily research a potential spouse and seek one who has similar long term goals, rather than looking for a temporary and superficial love at first sight relationship.

He remarked how if more people – even if in the frum world – would be attentive to this point and have realistic expectations of what they are seeking, there wouldn’t be situations where bochorim go out with over 20 girls in a two year span, seaching for something which simply doesn’t exist.

The weekend was a huge dose of inspiration for both the anash of North Miami Beach as well as the Yeshiva.

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10 Comments

  • grape

    i have no issue with most of the article but there are almost as many issues with shiduchim as general dating. also, i dont know where that divorce rate number came from but that is incorrect, the number is closer to 50%…still very high but that facts are facts

  • grateful parents from napanack

    Rabbi Sternberg is an unbelievable person!! He had such a tremendous hashpah on our son and for that we will forever be grateful!! may hashem bentch him with the strentgh to continue helping and impacting so many lives in such a positive way!!

  • MODERATION

    Moderation is the name of the game. Any time strict prohibitions are given to people, there’s an inevitable chance that the rules will be broken on the sly. It’s just human nature.

  • ADDICTED? Then out of the house

    If you are serious addict to the dark side of
    the net,then GET THE COMPUTER OUT OF THE HOUSE!
    Filters can be by-passed, easy.

    For your computer needs, you may have to access it at inconvenient times such as by going to the library, an internet cafe, or any place where your access can be
    seen by others.

  • Chassidishe Bochur

    Did he present a slideshow of the types of things we shouldn’t be looking at on the internet? Otherwise, how can we know what he speaks of?

  • Avreich1

    Why is it that any time we sit down for the simplest and the smallest meeting there has to be food and drink on the table?