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Video: What Truly Counts in a Shidduch

Project NASI (North American Shiduch Initiative) released this video to help Bochurim and parents understand what is – and what is not – important when it comes to a prospective Shiduch.

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21 Comments

  • Lev aura

    Age is not an issue now however will be. Hamaven up in. The whole world including the rebbes agreed for the guy to be older. It’s part of the male female science

    • Anonymous

      The Rebbetzin was a year older than the Rebbe. Are you saying that he was unhappy with the arrangement?

    • detroiter

      I agree! And the things that we don’t talk about in the open forum work and is designed for the male to be at least 3-10 years older!!

    • anon

      What science? Please include a scientific source.

      A man’s virility decreases with age as does a woman’s fertility. It makes just as much sense for an older woman to be with a younger man.

  • Ohev Sholom

    Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka was more than a year older than the Rebbe.

  • Ohev Sholom

    To nr. 1:
    Where in Torah/Talmud/Halachah/Chassidus/Rebbe’s Sichos or letters is there a basis for your ramblings? Hint: there is none!
    Then you claim it’s part of male female science, you probably meant science fiction….
    You are a bur veam hooretz, and do your homework before positing non-sense next time…and never ever again quote the Rebbe without a clear reference to a sefer and page nr….

    • tov

      Its common sense! Dosent have to be clear in the talmud mishna chasidus…. And I bet your older then your wife and the rebbe gave u his brocho. Was the rebbe haopy? U think?

  • DaasTorah

    Deep compatibility is far more important than age and her “family”.

  • ???

    What the heck????

    Are these Shadchonim in touch with reality and married life? It’s amazing that they are still married themselves.

    As if age is the only meaningless character flaw in a shidduch. A massive age gap can be a valid reason not to get married, but most people will consider a small gap.

    What is important is midos and yiras shomayim.

    A great personality? Important to a degree, but if she/he doesn’t care about you, it’s of no use.

    Girl with a stable job? Nice to have, but she will probably not be working full time when you get married.

    The right family? Who are we knocking down now???

    Her maturity brought so much to the marriage? OK. Every guy wants a mature girl – but marry a girl specifically for her maturity??? Do you need her help you put your kids to sleep? What are you? A baby???

  • Esty B

    I like the thinking behind this-when looking for the right match, it can be easy to focus on some small perceived “flaw” and lose sight of the person’s character and qualities. Too tall, too short, not so pretty or stylish, none of this stands the test of time. Trust me, a year or so older might seem like a big thing at 20, but at 30, B’H, when you’re chasing kids around the house and helping with homework, you won’t even remember there’s a difference.

  • Andrea Schonberger

    Age is not so much a factor as is being in the same generation group. However a lot of important stuff was left out: can they see the funny side of life, do they have common sense, do you think alike on most issues, can then laugh at their own imperfections, do they like the real you and not the good impression you make on a date. That’s what will determine if your good for the long run. Been married over 30 years so I ought to know.

  • LOL!!

    I could not stop laughing!!! This is a pathetic video and a lame attempt to get people to ignore age… It doesn’t touch upon any important things!

    • anonymous

      100% Agreed…
      As if Age is the only problem in the Shidduch world LMHO!!!

  • To #12

    That is EXACTLY what the video is saying.

    Chabad does not have the same issue that the Yeshivish world has. In their world they say no to a girl their own age or a year younger etc. The boys graduation yeshivah at about 22 – 23 years old are interested in the girls graduating sem at 17-18 so a girl who is a year or 2 older than that age is dismissed (usually by the parents of the boy) only for that reason alone! only for her age…. they look into nothing else…

  • this is for inertia360

    I cant stand it when people say “age is only a number”.

    AGE IS CLEARLY A WORD.

  • IKARIM vs TFELIM

    Yiras Shomayim and Middos Tovos!
    As well as mental and physical health (each case determined by a Rov if there’s a question)

    Once the couple meet, they must both discover hamshochas halev, (mutual attraction)

    That’s the Rebbe’s guidance summoned up

  • attention 20

    great nekudah,
    but since when can one summon up a point?
    you do mean, summed up.
    or so I hope.
    I wish I was able to summon up the Rebbe’s guidance.
    :)