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Story: How the Rebbe Cared for the Rebbetzin

by Avi Baitelman

Left: Avi Baitelman. Right: Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka.

My Zaidy, Rabbi Lipa Brennan, told me a story that happened with him, the Rebbe & the Rebbetzin OBM in the summer of 1975, when he was a bochur in 770.

Friday night Shabbos Shuva, he ate at a friend’s house on President St., opposite the Rebbe’s house. As he left the house around 11pm, he saw the Rebbetzin standing on the porch of her house. He knew it was the Rebbetzin because he had seen her a few times when she came to 770 to visit her sister who was married to Rabbi Shmaryahu Gurary (the Rashag) and lived on the 2nd floor of 770. In general, the Rebbetzin was a very private person and was not seen in public too often.

The Rebbetzin saw my Zaidy and motioned for him to come over to the house. He crossed the street, went up the steps to the porch, and the Rebbetzin said that it’s very late and the Rebbe is usually home by now to make Kiddush. Did the Rebbe daven Maariv yet? she asked. Yes, answered my Zaidy. Was there a fabrengen or a maamar tonight? She asked. No, he answered. The Rebbetzin then asked him to go to 770 and see what’s happening, come back and let her know.

My zaidy started running to 770; as he turned the corner from Brooklyn Ave. onto Eastern Pkwy., he saw that the Rebbe was leaving 770 and starting to walk home. My Zaidy quickly turned around and started running back to the Rebbetzin. When he reached the corner of Brooklyn Ave. & President St., he saw the Rebbetzin standing on the corner. Apparently, she had walked from her house to the corner by herself. My Zaidy told the Rebbetzin that the Rebbe is on his way home, and started to walk away to go back to the dormitory.

The Rebbetzin called him back and said that it’s late at night, would he wait with her until the Rebbe arrived. My Zaidy did not know what to say, all he knew was that he did not want to be seen by the Rebbe when he met the Rebbetzin. The Rebbetzin saw his apprehension and said it’s not the right thing to leave a lady standing by herself on a street corner in New York!

Not having any choice, my Zaidy stood a little behind the Rebbetzin near the bushes of the house on the corner. (Today the bushes have been taken away and now there is a metal fence.) As the Rebbe approached my Zaidy squeezed further into the bushes.

When the Rebbe got to the corner and saw the Rebbetzin, he made with his hands as if to say “what are you doing here?” The Rebbetzin answered the Rebbe but my Zaidy could not hear what she said. They then started to walk home together with some bochurim walking behind them. My Zaidy joined with the bochurim. (Whenever the Rebbe walked home on Shabbos or Yom Tov, 2 or 3 bochurim would always follow behind as a sign of derech eretz so the Rebbe should not walk alone. On Shabbos & Yom Tov mornings, the bochurim would wait outside his house to walk him to 770.)

The Rebbe always walked pretty fast but the Rebbetzin walked slowly. After a little while the Rebbe looked to his left and did not see the Rebbetzin, so he turned around and saw the Rebbetzin slowly catching up to him. When she reached him, they started walking again together, and again the Rebbe walked faster and again, after a little while, he turned around and waited for the Rebbetzin to catch up. This happened 3 times until they made it home.

When they reached the steps to go up to the house the Rebbe turned to my Zaidy and said “a dank un a gut Shabbos,” thank you and good Shabbos.

They then walked up the steps; the Rebbe opened the door, held it open for the Rebbetzin to enter, and they both went inside. When the Rebbe closed the window lock in the front room, that was the sign for the Bochurim to leave.

A very unusual aspect of this story is that my Zaidy says he never before, or after, ever saw the Rebbe & the Rebbetzin walking together. Another important lesson from the story was the care and concern the Rebbe showed to the Rebbetzin, by waiting for her three times and opening the door to the house for her.

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15 Comments

  • Inpriered

    thank you Avi for a wonderful nice story

    may we have the brochos and abilities to follow in thier footsteps

    Avi may you grow up to be a ChaYa”L
    bring nachas to all

    thank you Lipa for being mefarsim the story

    Hatzlacha

  • Yankel

    Beautiful. Too bad my farbrengen was over before this was posted. This is what Chabad oriented sites are for, and not the junk that was posted earlier.

  • Moshe

    In the early 70´s the Rebbe still often walked alone from his home on President St. to 770. It was only later that R´ Leibel Bistritsky started walking behind the Rebbe. I sometimes walked up Brooklyn Ave. from my home, and fell in behind the Rebbe. He would greet people he met with a nod and “Gut Shabbos”

    When the Rebbetzin’s mother was still alive, the Rebbetzin would drive up and park in front of 770, descend the steps in front of the rebbe´s office into the basement, and take the elevator up to the 2nd floor to visit. Those were basically the only time I recall ever seeing her.

  • 770 Bochur

    I read this story in Cheder Menachem of Los Angeles’s yearly publication, “Bracha V’Hatzlacha Volume 5”! Great story and great series of books. You can get a copy if you call them. Gooogle their info.

  • Cheder Menachem L.A.

    This story appeared last year in print in Brocha Vhatzlacha Vol. 5. Published by the students of Cheder Menachem Los Angeles

  • Wondering?

    Thank you for the story. I am an “outsider” and note that your rebbe did not walk with his wife. Indeed, he seemed to insist on walking ahead of her – and kept stopping to wait for her to catch up.

    I ask with the greatest respect: Is this an established chassidic/haradei custom of a husband not walking alongside his wife?

  • response to wondering

    I get your point. But to me it seems that they were both showing respect to each other. The Rebbetzin seems to have deliberately walked slower so as to show respect to her husband the Rebbe, and the Rebbe seems to have specially waited for her three times to show respect to the Rebbetzin.

  • Wondering 2

    Addendum to my query in comment #7:

    I am aware that many orthodox men would not walk directly behind a woman for reasons of “modesty”.

    I am also aware that certain groups of chassidim/haradei men extend this and therefore do not walk behind even their own wives.

    I am further aware that some cultures REQUIRE the wife to walk behind her husband as a gesture of subservience.

    From the story (which I assume is accurate) it would seem that this attitude is mirrored in the Chabad culture, and I say this with the greatest tolerance and respect, unless there is an alternative explanation.

  • Rabbi Lipa Brennan

    To Wondering

    IMHO for those of us who remember the Rebbe in the early seventies he always walked at a brisk pace, going into & out of shul, going to & from his home etc. In even earlier years there were ocassions when the Rebbe walked TOGETHER with the Rebbitzin. So I think this was just a case of the Rebbe walking at his pace & the Rebbitzins at hers & the Rebbe remembering that this time the Rebbetzin was with him.

    Lipa Brennan

  • Thank you Rabbi Brennan

    Thank you Rabbi Brennan for clearing that up.

    It is very difficult to get accurate and factual information about Hassidic/Haradei Leaders without the accompanying editing “spin doctors” of the followers who try to make their leader infallible and larger than life, to the extent of removing the human element of the leader.

    I personally believe that a great human being is far more accomplished than a minor angel and I view the Rebbe and other Chassididc/Haradei leaders as great human beings, not celestial beings – I apologize if this offends anyone, but I write this with utmost respect.

    I know Oprah had similar difficulty researching your community and at first was walking on egg shells till everyone disclosed that we are all human beings with equal values.

  • Wondering

    Why are stories that illustrate simple mentshlichkeit wriiten about as if they were “wonderous” stories? Such behaviour is basic mentchlichkeit – are we “nispo’el” that the Rebbe was a “mentch” together with being a Rebbe?