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Book Lists 1,000 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Can dating and fun coincide? For many singles, those two words are polar opposites. Many singles get burnt out, jaded and perpetuate an annoyingly unproductive cycle of “failed” dates.

Yet one women is pushing the dating scene into a newly formatted direction. The book, 1,000 Questions to ask before getting married, is an inquisitive question series that guides the reader from first date to engagement and marriage. The meticulously constructed Jewish book includes specific questions to ask the Baal Teshuva, FFB, convert, divorced, and divorced with children and more. The 1000+ questions range from first date icebreakers to discovering Emunah levels and even help with asking those tricky financial questions.

The books author, Mrs. Amber Adler, wife of Eli Adler, says that she feels like less of an author and more like a “solution provider.” Mrs. Adler says, “many times people think that getting married is about being able to get a lot of dates so that the percentage sways into their favor. However, it’s more important to put proper focus on each date.

The book boasts a fun mix-and-match quality that immediately grasps the reader’s attention as they dive into the imperative read. Yet, along with the nearly 1,200 questions, the book still offers real text and multiple articles such as  “How to improve your Self Portrayal,” “Oppression happens in relationships,” “Advice for Guys: Date Planning,” The Ego vs. the Babysitter,” “The real deal about divorce,” “Watch out for the in-laws” and more.

“My biggest pet peeve in the dating scene is when people say no to going out with perfectly good candidates”, says Mrs. Adler. “When I got serious about getting married, I said yes to everyone – even people that really made no sense. I trusted that Hashem knew what I needed more than me and as long as I was open and actively exercising my Emunah then I would soon get my husband, and, I did.”

Mrs. Adler first spoke with her future husband after only four months of dating for marriage. It was during that time that Mrs. Adler began creating a long list of questions to determine whether or not she had found her bashert.

Her happy husband, Eli Adler of Toronto glowingly speaks of his wife. “I met my dearly beloved bashert with a open mind and complete emunah and bitachon in Hashem. I was totally swept off my feet by the generous and kind, sweet lady who came to be known as Mrs. Adler.  She asked a lot of questions and I gave a lot of answers. This certainly advanced the quality of our dating process and gave us far more understanding of not only what we wanted in our marriage but also who would be responsible for what and when. This Q & A not only helped determine that we were a good match but it greatly contributed to a smooth transition into our newlywed life“, says Mr. Adler.

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19 Comments

  • 2. Citizen Berel wrote:

    This is wonderfull.

    1000 questions. What to ask. Before getting married.

    We are generation — special…

    “On two occasions I have been asked, — “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?” In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”

  • 3. Andrea Schonberger wrote:

    Does the book give hints to show when the person might be untruthful? Let’s be honest–most people on a date want to impress their possible future husband/wife and if they’re desperate to be married they might answer questions dishonestly thinking it really doesn’t matter and that it’s only important to give a good/correct answer. Was I going to tell my future husband that I could throw a tantrum better than a 2 year old child? No sireee I wasn’t. Dating young people want to put themselves in the best light, not necessarily in the 100% honest light.

  • 9. Fresser Rebbe wrote:

    BH

    Great work Amber, i think another name for the book could be “Amber Alert”

  • 10. Where i bought my book wrote:

    i got mine at Eichler’s on Coney Island ave. not in boro park yet, i tried. they told me that they will get them later – who knows. also though, Amazon has it for sale. also – i follow her stuff on her facebook page for this.

  • 11. The derech the Rebbe taught us wrote:

    Three most important questions to find out
    1. Is he/she principled, truth oriented & mature? /aka g-d faring?
    2. Is he/she good hearted? Aka is known to be kind, compassionate and humble/refined? Aka not desperate for attention or self centered.
    3. (Once they met) Is my heart drawn to him/her? Aka hamshochas halev. Anticipatory eagerness to be spend time together.
    …..
    (Reasonable health, physical & mental goes w/o saying, when in doubt consult a Rav/pro)

  • 12. Questioner wrote:

    I can summarize it into one question. Just one simple question. Mah nishtana hasaifer hazeh mikol hasfarim?

  • 13. When will this be available here? wrote:

    Here, as in crown heights

    I’d rather judge a book not on its cover

  • 17. Boro park & CH wrote:

    i was told boro park and the one ch location is waiting for more books

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