Cooking and Bonding Go Hand in Hand

Harrisburg, PA — When I arrived in State College, my cooking experience was limited to the vegetarian and macrobiotic styles, and for “crowds” no larger than 10; more often than not, I only cooked for two. I was told that Pennsylvania State University was a “pizza and beer” type of college, so I figured that my natural way of cooking probably wouldn’t be too popular.

Since food is a major way for Jews to connect to our culture, I felt it was better to cook a traditional Shabbos meal of matzah ball soup, kugels, chicken, all the works. And although my own private culinary tastes might not have jived, I knew how to read a cookbook, so I wasn’t frightened.

Then came our first full month serving the Jewish community at Penn State: The holiday-packed Jewish month of Tishrei, in 2001. We had around 40-50 students for most of the Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur break-fast meals. I couldn’t believe the experience of cooking so much, and by all accounts it was far from easy.

By the end of Sukkot, I realized help was needed, so I asked a student named Esther to lend a hand. She was very enthusiastic about cooking kugels, chicken, and cholent, her favorite dish, together. As we stirred ingredients, we learned more about each other; a relaxed atmosphere descended on the kitchen. It turned out that as well being a great way to feed students, cooking for them was a great way to get to know the students.

After cooking with me the entire year, Esther wrote her senior thesis on the evolution of Ashkenazi cuisine. For her defense, she invited her advisor and those analyzing her thesis for a traditional Ashkenazic Shabbos meal. Now, Esther is married and has her own Jewish home and, predictably, loves to cook and have guests over for Shabbos and the holidays. We try to speak weekly on the phone, learn some Tanya together, and now she gives me ideas on what to cook.

Letting Them Take the Reins

After a year, I had a baby, so I became even more reliant upon help. We decided to set up a volunteer hour with our student board. The main responsibility would be to take part in preparing for Shabbos. Some of the students had absolutely no cooking experience and with a little time became excellent challah bakers and proficient kugel makers. At the dinner, they would proudly point out to the other students which dish they had created.

There was one girl in particular who was in an intensive six-year medical school program, so she didn’t have a lot of extra time for cooking. One time, though, she asked if she could help me prepare for Shabbos. The first time she came, she learned to make challah, and decided she’d spend her Friday afternoons helping out. Every Friday, Joanna would come over after her last class, and as we prepared dish after dish, we chatted about what it means to be Jewish and about how she grew up. She would make sure to leave with enough time to rush home and get herself ready for the holy day. She even began to take on some new mitzvos at her own pace.

Three years later, all of the students who stepped foot into the kitchen to help went from not knowing how to make matzah balls to becoming expert Shabbos chefs. They came to the kitchen needing counseling, or to share their good news, and left with a little bit of culinary knowledge. The kitchen became a kind of therapeutic escape from the campus life of academic and social pressures.

That first kitchen was really only suited for a family of three, but this year, thanks to a grant from philanthropists George and Pamela Rohr, we moved to a much bigger Chabad House with a much better kitchen. Perhaps a bit sentimentally, I found it a bit difficult to leave the old space where so many memories took place; in a way, that kitchen had a piece of each one of the students from our first five years.

But our beautiful new kitchen has a whole new vitality with the students who now join in whipping up salads or baking some chicken. Instead of barely having room for two at serving time, the current space can fit 10. Shabbos preparation has become an event in and of itself as every Thursday night students stay until midnight at the new Louis Kohll Memorial Kitchen taking care of whatever needs to be done.

(We also now have two little helpers, Chana Leah, 2 and Mendel, 4, who have ventured out from brushing the challahs to baking cookies, cakes, olive dip, salad and pasta salad. Sholom Ber, 18 months, is even starting to learn how to make challah.)

Cooking has also gotten a lot easier this semester thanks to Alex. He never came before because he had a job Friday nights, but he happened to have off one week. When Alex stopped by, he asked me if I needed help cooking for Shabbos. Of course, I gladly accepted the offer, but had no idea what a blessing Alex would turn out to be. He had much experience working for catering companies, and was the perfect addition to our makeshift cooking crew. Not only does he know exactly what he’s doing in the kitchen, not only does he work quickly and efficiently, but he brings more students all the time to join in our Thursday night cooking parties. Alex now also started comes on Fridays to daven and have Kiddush before heading out.

Far from being a chore, cooking with the students has turned out to be an incredible experience for all involved. Sure, they get to learn about preparing a Shabbos meal and about keeping kosher. But I also get to spend quality time with them, and not get exhausted cooking for hundreds by myself. In the end, though, it’s quite amazing to realize that for these students, there are many more things they could choose to be doing on a Thursday night instead of trudging over to the Chabad House and cook for hours!