Posted to Shlichus on
by Chaya Sarah Silberberg

‘You’re a Jew and You Must Be Buried As a Jew.’

One Monday afternoon two weeks ago my husband came home from shul in a very good mood. I asked him “Who had a baby? Or did someone get engaged?”

“No,” he responded. “Jimmy changed his mind about his burial. He no longer insists on being cremated (R”L), but will be buried with a proper kevurah.”

Akiva is a mekurav and close friend, a baal teshuvah of many years. His brother Jimmy was, lo aleinu, suffering from yeneh machlah and was terminally ill. Jimmy was not at all frum; his first two wives and current girlfriend are all non-Jews. A long time ago, Jimmy decided that he wanted to be cremated after his passing, and stated this intention in his will. His family was very supportive of this decision… Though Akiva had spoken to him about it several times, his words had zero effect. Recently, due to the situation, Akiva broached the subject again, but was rebuffed. Some of the family members became angry at him and told him that he should stop interfering, it’s none of his business, etc. My husband, too, spoke with him on the subject of burial, but to no avail. In fact, just a few weeks earlier Jimmy had asked his girlfriend that after his passing she should take his ashes with her wherever she went, so he wouldn’t be alone. Everyone in the family thought that was very touching and romantic. How dare Akiva to mix in with his religious mishugassen!

Wednesday night, Akiva made a last-ditch attempt to talk to Jimmy about getting a proper kevurah. Jimmy refused. When he went home, Akiva’s sister called to berate him and yell at him for his meddling. That night he called my son Naftali, with whom he is very close, clearly devastated and angry. The next day, when he spoke to Naftali, Akiva was a bit calmer. He told him that he’d gone to sleep that night but at 3:00 in the morning he awoke with a start. He realized that he had one last option: to write to the Rebbe. He went online to Chabad.org and wrote a long letter.

“I told the Rebbe the whole story, and how I wanted to be able to sit shiva and say kaddish for my brother, Yosef ben Aidel. I asked the Rebbe to intercede with Hashem to change Jimmy’s mind so that he would be buried as a Jew. I know that when you ask the Rebbe for something you should promise him something in return. So I promised that I would sit the entire shiva correctly, and say kaddish for the whole eleven months. I signed my name, Akiva ben Aidel, hit ‘send,’ and was able to go back to sleep.”

Before Shabbos, a mutual friend called Akiva and told him that Jimmy had changed his mind about the burial. But he didn’t hear directly from Jimmy. On Sunday, when he went to visit Jimmy, his brother asked to have a few words with him in private. Jimmy started crying (Akiva says that this is the first time ever he’d seen him crying, with tears streaming from his eyes) and couldn’t even speak. Akiva asked him, “Jimmy, did the Rebbe come to you in a dream?”

“Yes,” he choked out.

“The Lubavitcher Rebbe?”

“No, Rabbi Silberberg. He told me ‘you’re a Jew and you must be buried as a Jew.’”

Jimmy composed himself a little and continued, “I woke up with a start. It was last Wednesday night, 3:30 in the morning, and I knew that I had to do the right thing.”

They decided that that Jimmy should purchase a plot near his grandfather, with whom he had been very close. When they called the cemetery, they were told that it was highly unlikely that there would be a plot available; the cemetery was full. Twenty minutes later they received a call – miraculously, a plot had been found one row away from Grandpa.

On Tuesday, Jimmy called his lawyers and changed his will, with Akiva and my husband as witnesses.

Baruch dayan emes. Jimmy passed away this past Tuesday night, and was buried completely kehalacha. Yehi zichro baruch.

P.S. The story doesn’t end with Jimmy. A week ago my daughter, who is on shlichus in Westchester, told over the story at her Shabbos table. A few days later a woman who had been their guest at the time, called to tell her the following:

“On Sunday I was talking to my sister who is very secular. She mentioned something about dreams, so I told her the story you said about the Rebbe. My sister had been planning to be cremated after her passing, r”l, not having any idea that this was wrong. When she heard the story she said that she’d changed her mind and no longer wished to be cremated.”

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30 Comments

  • inspired

    tears came to my eyes
    amazing work by the silberbergs in detroit keep it up!!!

  • Baruch Hashem!

    I’m so happy that another Yid was spared the desecration of cremation. Hitler Yemach shmo burned Jews. Jews should never be burned!
    My friend tried everything to prevent her sister from being cremated, buy the non-Jewish “husband” could not be swayed. It was devastating to loose her sister, but even worse that she was not able to grieve properly, and that no kaddish could be recited for her.

    • Milhouse

      Kaddish can still be said for her. She’s in the World of Truth now, and knows she made a mistake.

  • Sarah

    Rabbi Silberberg is truly the Rebbe’s messenger. Not only awake, but even when asleep!
    May HaShem comfort Akiva with the mourners of Zion and Yerushalaim.

  • Velvel

    Btw akivah is also the supplier of candys to all in shul.

    He has been doing this for years and evreyone loves him

    He even gives adults…

  • Shul member

    We belive that in Zechus of akivah donating all simchas for rabbis kids he was able to get this blessing.

    We love you rabbi and Akivah

  • Rabbi Bergstein

    Thank you #5 for posting that video.

    Reb Chaim Moishe is a hidden gem and is kuloi emes. He is a true inspiration.

  • Question

    I heard this story first about the Rebbe then about Silverberg and then about the Rebbe again. This story and the video posted are at odds. I wish this could have been clarified before the person passed away. There are too many factors for this ever to be sorted out now.

  • To #5

    Actually in the comments to the youtube clip Rabbi Bergstein amends the story to align to how its presented on crown heights.info. However shlucho shel odom kmosso etc.

  • Chaya Sarah Silberberg

    It’s rather upsetting to be called a liar in a public forum. Especially since I double- and triple-checked all the details with Akiva. Unless both of us are lying?

  • I know akivah

    Akiva will never lie

    He is the source of making pepole happy in our shul and our comunity.

  • Akiva has a special zchus

    Everyone knows that akiva has a lot to do with who rabbi Naftaly Silberberg is today.

  • From Cleveland, 'It figures'...

    Knowing the Silverbergs that way I had, it doesn’t surprise me! Don’t fool yourselves, these are not your ordinary chassidisha people! Truely Hashems’ ‘cream of Klal Yisroel’. We all would of been out of golus a long time ago if there would be a lot more ‘cut from that cloth’. Be real, It doesn’t matter ‘who’ came to Akiva in a dream. What matters is ask yourself, “How many of ‘us’ would really be made ‘happy’ just because another Yid is getting a Jewish funeral. Really?

  • From Cleveland: To Chaya Sarah

    It’s VERY UPSETTING that some people think that way!!!
    It’s VERY UPSETTING that there are people who would make such a comment.
    It’s VERY UPSETTING that there are those that exist, that can’t find the joy in what Akiva’s Neshoma is feeling.
    Welcome to golus.
    Just be happy your all in Detroit!

  • Shul member

    Many times rabbi has attributed his vast Yiras Shonaim to his days in Torah Vidas and Lakewood.

    And when he came to Lubavitch he says he learned to try to be more humble.

    We love you rabbi Silverberg.

  • detroiter

    Well this it typical in detroit. I believe mrs silverberg and akiva/kenny the story happened w them and they are pure emes! now bergstein is missing out on the attention tries to change some facts and put him self on utube…

  • 19 r u a shul member?

    I have known rabbi for more then 30 years and I have never heard him say this

  • Shul member

    He has said a few times by fabrenges and by his kiddishis.

    Are you Jellous of him? I know he said that some pepole don’t like when he says that. But he says pepole need to know that Yiras Shomaim is extremely important more so then being a Person that knows how to learn.

    It seems you are jellous of his Torah upbringing

  • chaya sarah silberberg

    While my husband respects all mosdos of Torah he has, in fact, never stepped foot into the Lakewood Yeshiva.
    I wrote the article to show the incredible koach of the Rebbe and how he responds to us until this day when we turn to him for a bracha.
    #19 is clearly not a shul member (at least, not of our shul). I don’t know what his agenda is. If he chooses to disbelieve the story that is his private affair, but there is no reason for him to undercut the koach of the Rebbe and to stam make up stories.

  • Chaya Sarah S

    I am taken aback at where you are finding me to be negative.

    Will in no way ever say or do anything to be or sound derogatory towrds you or the rabbi.

    I apologize that you took it that way.

    I will call you personally as soon as I post this apology.

    Shul member

  • Franci

    I am so happy for Akiva and his brother, Jimmy. It was so important to Akiva (as it should be). Rabbi Silberberg is a shliach of the Rebbe and b’h thay all worked together to get the job done.

  • daniel altman who helped in the summer of 2002 and 2003

    Chabad of w bloomfield is a flourishing torah oriented place of mitzvas ,question i remember akiva is he the person who generously lent out his pool to people

  • WB, Home Sweet Home

    West Bloomfield is a very special place, I grew up there and raised my family there. 4 generations of my family were influenced by the Silberberg’s. Kenny has a very special relationship with The Rabbi & Chaya Sara. This is not a story but a reality, It is Hashkacha Protis. Kenny wrote to the Rebbe’s Ohel, for divine guidance, it came in the form of Rabbi Silberberg to Jimmy. A shliach is a shliach!

  • Sarah (#5)

    Akiva wrote to the Rebbe and the Rebbe sent R. Silberberg as his shaliach to Jimmy. So assuming that R. Silberberg was asleep 3:00-4:00am (I hope he gets more sleep than just one hour, but for this that would be enough) then he was the Rebbe’s shaliach even when asleep. That was all I meant in my comment.

    Or did all of you intend to unload on #6?

  • Akiva Borin

    With tears in his eyes[which I had never seen from him in my life} I asked him “did the Rebbe come to visit you Jimmy?”he answered “yes he did ..I asked was it the Lubavitcher Rebbe? He answered ,”no ,it was Rabbi Silberberg.” The next day I took Rabbi to see him in his final days..Jimmy said to him [with his incredible humor that never faded”please Rabbi ,”stop waking me up in the middle of the night”.My brothers last words in this world were to Rabbi Silberberg..”Thankyou Rabbi”