Rabbi Blau: Guidance on Discussing Sensitive News with Your Children
Dear Parents שיחיו,
This morning, we wanted to reach out regarding an urgent and sensitive matter that has affected someone connected to all of us. Rabbi Tzvi Kogan הי״ד a Shliach in Abu Dhabi, who was abducted and murdered על קידוש השם.
Rabbi Kogan’s wife is a former staff member of our Yeshiva, and his mother-in-law is part of our preschool team.
Given the prominence of this news, it is highly likely that children will hear about it today at Yeshiva. We encourage you, as parents, to share this information with your children in a calm and thoughtful way before the school day begins. This will allow them to hear about it first from you, in a setting where they feel secure. Most children will process this news and return to their usual routines without difficulty.
Based on the guidance of Chai Lifeline, here are some suggestions to guide your conversation:
Present the information calmly: Avoid overwhelming your child with too many details or drawing out the discussion unnecessarily. Share the key facts in a concise, age-appropriate way.
Encourage questions: Validate their reactions and create space for their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to ask questions, and it’s also okay if they don’t have any right away.
Reassure them: Emphasize how rare and unusual this situation is. Explain that it occurred in a city where there was already a heightened risk warning in place. This can help reduce anxiety and provide context for why this situation is so exceptional.
Emphasize tefillah and Bitachon: Reassure them about the power of Bitachon, Teffilah and Tzedaka, which serve to strengthen the protection of Hashem והנה לא ינום ולא יישן שומר ישראל.
Be mindful of your own emotions: Children take cues from their parents. Avoid projecting your own worries or anxieties onto them.
Discuss the role of accurate information: In situations like this, where details may be incomplete, remind your children to rely on trusted sources for updates and to be cautious of rumors or speculation.
Reassure them about the day: At Yeshiva, it will be a regular day with the addition of saying Tehillim. Mechanchim and staff will be available to support children who may have further questions or need reassurance.
If you need additional guidance on how to discuss this with your child or if you have any concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your son’s Mechanchim or our Wellness Department.
May we soon hear good news with the coming of Moshiach.
והקיצו ורננו שוכני עפר והוא בתוכם.
Besuros Tovos,
Rabbi Mendel Blau
Rabbi Yehoshua Lustig
