Mother Stops Babysitter from Buying Non-Kosher Ice Cream

A Crown Heights mother intervened when she observed a non-Jewish babysitter try and buy non-kosher ice cream for three Jewish children in her care.

In a voice memo that has since gone viral, Mrs. Dini Avichzer, a Crown Heights mother, described a scene she watched unfold as she waited in the checkout line at Family Dollar.

“I was standing in line and there was a baby sitter [who was] not Jewish, and she had three ice cream cones that she was ready to pay for, and the children she was babysitting for were Jewish children and I just decided to mix in.

“I picked up the ice cream form the counter and I looked at it and I told her ‘it’s not kosher, you can’t buy it for these children, you need to go to a kosher store’, and she said ‘oh? Kosher store?’ and I said yes, you need to go to a kosher store.

“she was nice enough to put it back and explained to the kids that it was not kosher, I then took her outside and showed her the market place and told her thats a kosher store you can buy ice cream for the kids there.”

She concluded her message with a word of caution, saying “so just a heads up if your children are with a baby sitter, there is never too much caution. This didn’t happen years ago this happened earlier this afternoon and it happened to me and I am still a little shaken up from the incident.

“It was hashgocha protis [divine providence] that I was in the right place at the right time and that I had the chutzpah to actually mix in to someone else’s business and say what had to be said.”

38 Comments

    • 2. smh wrote:

      Really??? And you know this how? Were you there? Were you drunk and thought you were there?

      Where do people like you come on and have the right to pass your own kind of disgusting judgment on others?

      SHAME ON YOU! This is what a “TorahLeader” does?

      This woman says that it was “NOT KOSHER”, she could not have been more clear and unequivocal.

      I hope that g-d will judge you more favorably then you passing judgment on others. You should hang your head in shame. Your pathetic.

  • 3. CH resident wrote:

    Kol hakovod to you, Mrs Avichzer
    Unfortunately we are told to mind our own business, but these children ARE our business, and it’s sad that too many moms need to work and rely on non Jewish nannies. It’s hard, but we cannot sacrifice our children for money!

  • 4. Bestwatchman wrote:

    Moral of the story: Invest time training in your goyish cleaner/nanny/babysitter. They are much more respectful and willing to listen but they need to be taught the rules.

    • 5. wrong wrote:

      Moral of the story: Never trust a goy. Rather, invest time with your children.

  • 6. Chaim Hershkop wrote:

    I know what Shulchan Aruch says and I know what the Rebbe said….but, but “I feel that…and therefore….”

  • 7. smh wrote:

    e way this was written it sounds like you saved these kids life CV from being hit by a car a gun, or about to be abused
    Maybe the parents of these children don’t care if they eat OUD, you can always ask for a phone number and call the mom. It’s not the worse thing for kids to eat this. They will live just fine a

    • 8. NOT KOSHER wrote:

      Really? Who said it was OU-D?? This mother clearly said “IT WAS NOT KOSHER”, who are you to go and pass any kind of judgement?

      To you I smh.

    • 9. Chaim H. wrote:

      If we all had your “it’s all cool/cold”, “its all fine” etc…. attitude towards the education and Hashkofa of our children, how long (how,many generations) would it take before there is absolutely no Yiddishkit left?

      What has kept the Jewish nation alive? Think about it.

    • 10. woah! wrote:

      Did you not hear or something she said very clearly it was “not kosher”, its not like you were even there or something so don’t judge till u know the full story

    • 11. YMSP wrote:

      Ok. Let’s say it was OU-D, which poisons the mind and the heart. Or maybe we should throw the Tanya, which says this clearly, in the garbage.

      But it’s “Koshurrr.” No. It’s not. They’re basing it off a heter Reb Moshe gave in emergencies.

      The Rebbe’s father stood up to the Soviets y”s and declared chometz to be chometz. Other rabbis wouldn’t, with all kinds of reasons. The Oh You can’t even do that in a time of peace.

  • 12. Breakfast wrote:

    Since when is OUD OK for a chabad family and kids your ignorance is astounding cholov akum metamtem halev vehamoach

  • 13. Not a new issue wrote:

    Many years ago someone raised the issue in the N’shei Chabad Newsletter (possibly in a letter to the editor) asking if the women who trust their children to non Jewish caretakers would leave their diamond jewelry with same caretakers..
    What are they teaching the kinderlach, which songs, what movies, what food, what’s going on in the kitchen while Mommy is away?
    It’s not only ice cream. This is a wake-up call. Our children are too precious to be spiritually neglected.
    Thank you Mrs. Avichzer; don’t be daunted by the nay-sayers.
    Moshiach NOW!

  • 14. Levi Rapoport wrote:

    What is wrong with people? You’re not allowed to trust a Goy with a piece of meat! Would you trust him/her with your own child??

  • 15. Sara wrote:

    This woman stood up for what she felt was right . She could have remained silent like most ppl but when it comes to a childs spiritual health i wonder why so many r not concerned.. I applaud her i have seen this countless times and havent had the guts to say anything for fear of all the negative comments .. I even saw a child telling his nanny its not kosher and the nany said its fine in that situatiin i snapped a photo if the nanny but then again i was fearful of all the haters so i did nothing about it. I applaud her.

    • 16. bev wrote:

      I applaud her too. These goys must be taught right from wrong.

  • 17. You're crazy wrote:

    Since when and how dare people tell other people how to live and not live. There are those that rule that OU-D is KOSHER, it’s not of the opinion of Chabad, and we don’t keep it, but let others live as they wish, as there is AN OPINION that it is KOSHER and perfectly acceptable. Since when did we become the police telling those what to do and what not to do. Chill out and go to a therapist if Crown Heights is making you mentally ill.

    • 18. Citizen Berel wrote:

      “Since when and how dare people tell other people how to live and not live.”

      Since forever. We are commanded to (rebuke and to rebuke) * 100 our brethren;

      And we are commanded to ‘force’ the entire world to keep the 7 commandments.

      There’s also an old saw about a burning building and hole in boat.

      (But if you are not Jewish, then please ignore this message.)

    • 19. Don't Kid Yourself wrote:

      Do you think the parents explained to the nanny which products she may or may not buy? And even if she did, how can she be sure what the nanny is doing when she is at work/ shopping/ napping or wherever..
      We are not police, we are beholden to care for other Yiddishe children as our own.
      When a kid runs across the street and a car is speeding towards him should we also mind our business?
      That ice cream was non kosher! Not OU D. And OUD is not acceptable for us at all, for the record.

      The issue here is that our own brothers and sisters are trusting goyim with their children, burying heads in the sand.
      There are witnesses who see children eating treif!! Would you want to know about it if it was your kid? I sure hope your answer is positive.

    • 21. Citizen Berel wrote:

      “you sound nuts :)”

      Was not posted by the author of (at least) most of the Citizen Berel posts.

    • 22. My 2 cents... wrote:

      I’m assuming that since most families in CH uphold by Cholov Yisroel standards, that she assumed that intervention would be necessary. So then there are 2 options – either the children don’t uphold by Cholov Stam and it was a very good thing that they were stopped, or that they do nd so this one time they went and got a different ice cream – not such a big deal. If it was the mother buying for her children, she probably wouldn’t have spoken up. (If the issue was Cholov Yisroel. It could’ve been treif, we don’t really know)

  • 23. I went to church as a child wrote:

    My nanny took me to church daily and I ate non kosher food daily. It seriously never occurred to mention any of this growing up. I didn’t even bring it up to my parents late in adulthood because of my trust issues with babysitters. The funny things is my parents praised this woman for years on how amazing she was.
    I will not ever have a non Jew babysit my children, yes I wish I had a nanny, it would really help but the risk is too great. Parents really think about the person you are hiring to RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.
    Recently at the park, I one of the few actual parents there, overheard a group of nannies speaking about me in shock as they exclaimed “Look a Jewish person actually taking care and playing with her child.” I’m ashamed to say that I recognized the children that they were watching over, and overheard how little they thought of their parents. Yes in extreme cases, which parents that absolutely have no choice to work full time, then its completely understandable. But most people at least where I live just don’t seem to want their lifestyle hindered by their children, so a nanny is just a must have.
    The worst is when people bring nanny’s to shul, I find this terribly disrespectful, especially since once a rebettzin brought her nanny to shul on r”h wearing biker shorts and a tank top. I was in complete shock.
    I’ve seen nanny’s speak horribly to children at the park. It pains my heart to know that these children are entrusted to women who are making barely any money so some are not very willing to put in the effort. Believe me your children will never let you in on what actually goes on during the day, while you are away. I know because I never did.

  • 24. Pedant wrote:

    You do realize that the transmogrification of the non-kosher ice cream to OU-D ice cream was the doing of an unhinged comment surfer, right? Or is your issue simply with telling other people what to do.

  • 25. cholent mit kugel wrote:

    Lots of CH ers eat O U D. Dont judge. BTW…is the J&J war over ?? Lovvvve that Satmar meat…tasty!

  • 26. chill wrote:

    the issue is that we need to be aware, and if it matters to you, be careful
    end of story
    no judgements, no holier than thou, and on and on
    If a neighborhood person noticed something that MAYBE would bother me, I hope they will not be afraid, and just say something. It’s my choice to act on it or not

  • 27. Anonymous wrote:

    So why doesn’t Mrs. Avichser tell us what the problem with the ice cream was?

    • 28. NOT KOSHER wrote:

      Could she have not said it more clearly? IT WAS NOT KOSHER! NOT KOSHER!

  • 29. to #2 wrote:

    its disgusting to say that. you weren’t there and she was for sure there. she was totally right in saying what she had to. I give a lot of credit to mrs. avichzer for standing up for the right thing and not being quiet. your amazing! whoever this women is who wrote the 2nd comment, you should be ashamed about what you wrote. Not everyone would stand up for this, and I’m very happy mrs, avichzer you brought it up, kol hakavod!

  • 30. cholov yisroel wrote:

    And then we wonder why some kids go off the derech.!!! Maybe they were brought to a church!!!

  • 31. cholov yisroel wrote:

    Cholov akum which is OUD destroys the Emunah of a Yid! Rachmonah Litzlan!!!
    Emunah is the basis of Yiddishkiet!
    Maacholos Asoorois is Metamtem Hamoiach V’Halev!
    Rachmonah Litzlan!!!

  • 32. Anonymous wrote:

    It’s interesting that many comments say”don’t use non-Jewish babysitters”. So who says just because a babysittter is Jewish she will do what’s right? Many Jews do not know the laws of kashruth either,or any other laws.

    • 33. Pedant wrote:

      Were you hatched from an egg?

      There are laws concerning how you establish trust for leaving a non-jew to care for your kosher meat.

      Of course it’s possible to arrange things properly, but arrangements have to be made and a non-Jew may not be trusted the same way a Jew may be trusted. This is basic halacha.

  • 34. Anonymous wrote:

    I live in the real world and I know what I see. I see the Chabad rabbis in my town employ non-Jewish nannies.

    • 35. Pedant wrote:

      And nobody says you may not employ under any circumstances and in any way non-Jewish nannies. Precautions need be made, with halachic and hashkofik issues being ironed out, the comment related to the comparison between Jewish and Non-Jewish help — they are not the same,

  • 36. bev wrote:

    We must stick with our own. Get rid of non jewish goyim nannies. There’s enough older teens to become nannies until marriage.

  • 37. I don't get it wrote:

    Why didn’t she just let her buy the ice cream? It’s just ice cream.

  • 38. Kahnsupertziva wrote:

    I heard ou d can lead to an eiruv ?
    There is literally almost no ice cream in the is that doesn’t have a hechsher. While she should be applauded for keeping our minhagim lets be honest about the fact it was something 99 pct of frum Jews would have no issue eating and certainly Bidieved isn’t an issue.

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