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Protesters March Against ‘Gett’ Refusal

Several dozen protesters marched down the Crown Heights Jewish community’s main thoroughfare this afternoon chanting slogans and holding signs in protest of men who refuse to unconditionally give their wives a ‘Gett’ (divorce document without which a woman cannot remarry according to Jewish law).

The march began at around 1:00pm on the corner of Eastern Parkway, and made its way down Kingston Ave. until Empire Blvd. It then veered right until they reached the front of The Besht synagogue, where the marchers heard from several speakers and chanted slogans.

Some of the protesters carried signs with messages such as: “Abusive Men Abuse The Gett!” “Only Change Will Unchain!” “Real Rabbis Respect Women!” “It’s not a fight! It’s a woman’s right!” “Gett Justic Now” “Gett abuse = wife abuse” “Say Yes To The Prenup” “Gett a life!” and “Let My Sister Go!”

The protest was organized by activist Itta Werdiger Roth, who is quoted as saying “There is only ever one side to the story of Gett Refusal.”

The march, from its inception, was the source of much controversy, with supporters invoking the need for awareness regarding the very real problem of ‘Agunos’ (Jewish women left in marital ‘limbo’ since their husbands refuse to give them a Gett), and detractors pointing out that the target of this particular protest was not a ‘Gett-refuser’ at all, and that he is rather the victim of a smear campaign by his late wife’s family – who are seeking custody of his recently-orphaned children.

Photos by Benams

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294 Comments

    • Anonymous

      chained to death. makes it so much worse. for him too. he has no way to make this right.

    • Agree 100 percent

      Whoever said this march was not related to the kuperman family but was about agunahs in general is a liar! You just hurt 6 children even more then they were already hurt. Go ask these poor children if this would bother them. They will tell you themselves to please not do this. Congratulations. You just hurt them even more. I can’t imagine how these kids feel inside. You embarrassed them even more by doing this and you all know this was directed at their father. Shame on all of you. Go find something else better to do. There should be an organization for agunahs but it should not be related to unchain my sister which is now directed towards living children!

    • I agree

      As an agunah myself, I was happy to see the signs go up.
      But then I learned what this march was about, and who was leading it.
      Agunahs NEED the support of the community, but ONLY AL PI HALACHA.

      This march was a disgrace to klal Yisroel, especially taking place at the same time as another devastated father was preparing for the leyava of 7 of his children!

  • Tzdokim!

    The end result of this movement will certainly be complete Kfirah in Torah.

    They will be reform Jews.

    Make no mistake, this demonstration is not geared on one individual, although that may have triggered it. This demonstration is geared to the very core of our Torah.

    What would the Rebbe feel about this? (not to mention how these people–the men and women– are dressed.)

    • Anonymous

      get refusal is a kind of kefirah of torah. it might take a certain sensitivity to understand that, but its an abomination to Hashem and the Rebbe.

    • Milhouse

      get refusal is a kind of kefirah of torah.

      Really? How so? Where in the Torah does it say that a person is entitled to a get just because they want it?

      t its an abomination to Hashem and the Rebbe.

      When did either Hashem or the Rebbe say one word against it? How do you know that they don’t support it?

    • Chaim Shimonowicz

      For the same reason that shluchim leave CH: to spread an important message. Besides, the 3 people I knew at the march live in CH.

    • Anonymous

      there were some flatbush and boro park people, but most were anash from crown heights

  • yossel Der golam

    Now can we have a real march againts women for using their kids as a pawn in a divorce #unchainmybrother let the fathers see their children no man should get married without a pre nup how the custody of the children and finances will work

  • Leah

    Well done for standing up for others!!
    Silence is never the answer- cowards way out!
    To all the naysayers- please tell us what YOU
    Are doing for agunos other than bashing those who
    Are at least doing something?!

  • brains

    Should have had a neshek and thfilin stand. Could have had a few karkaftas and some new candles lit next Friday

  • overheard

    3 demonstrators wanted to know why empire grill was out of cheese. And why lobstor was not being served at shushi spot!! 1 was heard saying we should march for that next week!

    • chevramaidel

      Come on, you can be more creative than that. If you’re making up lies, at least try to come up with more believable ones. And just a tip – they invented something called spellcheck.

  • Korach

    Not a single community leader joined … Says everthing!

    The cause is just the methods are unjustifiable!!

    • Awesome methods!

      A peaceful protest is a great method. If you believed the cause is just, you should have been there.

  • fact

    1 marchers was pissed and scrame have he known before hand he would have given the agunas the getts.

  • Where were the masses

    Out of 2000 followers this is all they can gather. Show what people truly believe.

    • CHLEAKS.COM

      Not one person/”friend” stepped up to the plate when someone on the FB page asked that meshnayis be said for their agunah “sister” A”H.

  • cant believe how many looser there are!

    They “care” for much for those 6 innocent kids, thats why the kids are embarrassed and dont wanna speak with the family! HA

  • get

    it must be that therr are also some cases in CH

    If your wife doesn’t want to be with you .Give her a get and move on!
    get a better wife

  • Crownheights

    Been living here 20 don’t recognize one single person, why don’t these people protest where they live?

  • How terribly sad

    Wake up it’s 2015??? It’s 5775, HaTorah hazos lo tehey muchlefes. We are desperate for Torah Chadosho from Melech HaMoshiach! How could this happen in Kan Tzivah?

    • Shame on you!

      Proud actually, to have not gone! Had the program left out the stop at the Besht, would have gone, with my friends.

    • Uhm

      There were many local women, myself included. Or do women not count as lubavitcher chassidim now?

    • Chosid

      what do you call a “regular” chosid? Please explain.

      Did “regular” chasidim support JCW when it started? Does that make it unkosher?

  • Moshe

    Why are so many single girls there. Let them sign Prenups but at least get married.

  • Embarassed!

    shame on you people. You should all actually be embarrassed!
    You have caused so many people to turn against rabonim – you have no proof and your are un educated .You have caused so much extra suffering to a family already suffering.
    What are you trying to prove?!
    Thank you for embarrassing us and thank you for bringing more sinas chinam in to a world that already has so much!

  • השם ישמור

    הס”מ
    ניסה להכניס רגל בקדש הקדשים
    היום
    גם נפלו כמה ממשפחות אנש השם ישמור לשנאה נקמה והיפך ההלכה

    הם ניהיו שותפים עם אירגונים שלוחמים כל השנה נגד ההלכה ונגד ליובאוויטש
    פשוט חילוניים שתפסו טרמפ נגד חבד בזמן שיש כאב ופצע פתוח
    בושה וחרפה לכל אלו שנתנו לזה יד!!!!
    וזה כשעה לפני הלוויה שלהילדים אלו שנספו
    במקום להוסיף אהבת ישראל מוסיפים בגירוש השכינה מבתי היהודים

  • Kaparos

    We should arrange for one day when all the misfits can have their corner to rant and rave about their grievance de jour, and leave us in peace the rest of the year.
    We can have small booths with each group peddling their wares to the tired disgust of the wary passersby …
    From a sociological standpoint, this may be the price we pay for the Shidduch Crisis – as our youth mature to young men and women with no purpose and direction in life, they find what to busy themselves with.

    • Birth control too

      Isn’t that their chant? It’s not a fight, it’s a woman’s right (to choose to murder her fetus)? R”L

    • Rivky

      “our youth mature to young men and women with no purpose and direction in life, they find what to busy themselves with.”

      right on.

  • amazing

    So happy and proud to see members of our community standing up for what’s right and true. Wish we could have been there!

    • Shamed by my people

      Shame on you. Calling other Jews outsiders when anti semetism is on the rise. We are a community and a people, all tied to that moment on Sinai when we were given the Torah whether we choose pants or a sheital. Shame on everyone who does not shun, does business with and allows aaliyot to men who refuse to give a get. You are the embarrassment. Keeping Shabbat does not make us a light unto the nations. Respect and kavod do, and they start at home. Talk about picking and choosing what laws to follow!

    • chevramaidel

      Who said, “This is one community” when speaking of Crown Heights – Jews and non-Jews? Sound familiar? Would HE have called any Jew an “outsider”?

  • Long Overdue

    This march is very important and long overdue,

    But why didn’t regular Anash and Neshai Chabad participate in this march as well?

    • Obvious!

      Why didn’t any politicians participate?
      Because they also know this was not about Agunos. It was about a vicious custody battle to destroy innocent lives!

  • lets get real

    Crown Heights Community is proud to have welcomed a couple of open Orthodox and atheist jews telling us how to live our religious life.
    Dont let the door hit you on your way out

  • mortified

    The children of the dead woman are mortified.
    Leave them alone. They have a father who loves them and takes care of them. The smartest thing for him to do is take his children and move to Israel, far away from his abusive in-laws.
    None of those who marched and protested are local. How we go to where they come from and march on their streets?

    • A person who cares

      I think a go fund me sight should be opened to help that poor family move away to Israel where they will be loved and treated like human beings !!
      And not like monsters

  • For Shame

    Its so sad to see what is happening these days. Since when was it okay to belittle a widowed man and embarrass his kids to the utmost just to get a point across??? This is not okay.

  • yossi k.

    what a good simple way to bring awareness to a real problem many people in crown heights haven’t been exposed to.
    I just don’t understand why people are personally attacking anyone involved in the march.
    a march dose not do anything, its the conversations that happen after that can cause positive change.
    those attacking whom are starting the discussion seem threatened by the conversation and are unfortunately missing the point. :(

  • beautiful

    So wonderful that there are some in this community standing up for justice. Being a voice in the deadly silence

  • clarification

    “Even IF” halacha does not “require” a man to give his wife a gett (what ever that means) if a dying women asked for one and he didn’t give it he IS in fact a gett refuser.

  • 2 sides

    there is ALWAYS two sides. A woman can make it almost and I mean %99 impossible for a guy to get a gett by not accepting one. You make it out like only guys can be abusive (physically or emotionally) this is NOT true. sometimes not giving a gett is a guys only power to NOT be decimated by a vindictive, narcissistic woman out to destroy the guy. I personally know 3 such cases. None of which withheld the gett but should have. and let me tell you I am a woman and totally apposed to guys with holding a gett. DO NOT MAKE sweeping assumptions. it is totally out of line.

    • chevramaidel

      If you had been there, you might have heard it mentioned several times that there are cases of women refusing the gett, and that those are just as wrong. Men, however, hold more power as they are the only ones who can give a gett. And if the man decides to just start another family on the side, his children aren’t indelibly marked because of it. On either side, a gett should never be made conditional on money, custody demands, or anything else. Those are the purview of the family courts.

    • Milhouse

      On either side, a gett should never be made conditional on money, custody demands, or anything else.

      Why not?

      Those are the purview of the family courts.

      Didn’t we just read a few weeks ago ואלה המשפטים אשר תשים לפניהם? How can you demand that your husband submit to beis din for a get if you won’t submit to beis din for the money and custody? What makes a family court fair or just, and why shouldn’t the other person use the get as a bargaining chip to get a better deal?

    • lets get real

      Not Even Modern Lubavitch
      These were OTD Losers who are trying to feel good about themselves and Figure out why they left Yiddishkeit.
      The Lubavitch Rabbonim all came out against these people,they “claim” they found a Lubavitch Rov in Australia who supports them, Though he does not let them do it in his name

    • Lubavitcher

      Please stop using the Term “Chabad lite” (the T is silent) or this new equally phony term Modern Chabad.

      One Abeshter
      One Torah
      One Rebbe

      follow those you are Chabad.Dont you are not. I dont see why this confuses people

  • Comment

    They don’t look like people from our community certainly the men are not from our community I don’t know all the women but they don’t look like women from the Crown Heights Community

  • :(

    What a shame, how can such people destroy the community with their kfirah and zero knowledge what so ever in halacha, and demonstrate in the middle of our streets…..

  • Straight woman and normal men!

    Only change will occur when you see normal looking men and straight woman protesting. It is hard to look at this seriously with this crowd of protesters.

  • shameful

    These people wreak havoc with everything they touch. They have championed parental alienation, have engaged in multiple criminal activities and have actively worked to destroy marriages. If anyone knew their true agenda they’d realize what a plague we have in our midst.

    Fortunately, many were from JOFA, mzogt nisht yemach shmoi af a yid, and have nothing to do with Chabad. Anyone who had anything to do with this is making a war against all that the Rebbe stands for.

    And yes, the Rashbo writes that embarrassment, outside the specific cases mentioned in Shulchan Aruch, posuls the get and no achronim argue. Even rishonim only argue as to which cases. And usually these kind of crazy actions only serve to ensure that no get comes about.

  • Power to you all

    Kol Hakavod – Kiddush Hashem for a change in Crown Heights! Keep doing the right thing and making this world a better place! So proud of you all and sending blessings for you to continue with peace and love to create everlasting positive change!

  • Comment

    I’m sure they have a point those rabbinical courts today don’t have much power and toianim take a lot of money and it’s not just this issue it’s in every dispute that there’s very little justice Toianim there should be a time limit and everything if you look in the. Shulchan oruch inui hadin means you should begin and finish without delay whatever case it is certainly not months years just a comment

  • c.h.

    Apparently she probably does not know what torah says about women screaming in public.

    • i guess you didn't hear

      if you were at the march, you’d know that she spoke, not screamed, words of torah.

      one day you will learn what it’s like to be married, and b”h you will treat your wife better than this.

    • Zalmen

      KOL BEISHA ERVO
      all thos Ervos who walked our street could not pass as women of the night

    • Milhouse

      Zalmen, you know that the halocho is that kol be’isho ervo means singing, not speaking.

  • Jewish wife

    How can anyone defend these men for holding up their wives lives by refusing the gett? How is this against the Torah? These husbands should be held to the same high standard as all people who consider themselves frum and follow the Torah . The rebbe would be shocked by this being done in public as it is a shanda, but the rebbe was a fair and just man and I do not believe he would standby a man who made his wife an agunah for his own purpose.

    • Milhouse

      Why should they agree to a gett at all, let alone for free? Marriage is a commitment for life; you can’t just wake up one morning and decide you don’t want to be married any more. Unless there’s a serious reason why it’s impossible to save the marriage, the default is that you are stuck with your partner and have to either make it work, or else persuade him/her to agree to a gett. And yes, that means if you’re the one who decided to break up the marriage, then you do not get everything you want! A spouse, whether husband or wife, is entitled first of all to try to save the marriage, and if that’s not possible then they are entitled to negotiate the best possible settlement for themselves.

  • abusive women?

    I may be wrong but i think a large part of this problem lies in that the legal system is highly abusive toward men with regaurd to marrige.

    Im not saying every man who refuses to give his wife a GETT was abused, but it seems to ne it is the only card they have to play.

    I think that if this pre nump business is enforced, wich it probably will and with a complete disregard for abused men and completely. …. men will stop getting married.

    If the risk exceeds the reward……. wwhy get married?

  • AMAZING

    So beautiful to see these men and women taking a stand for justice and not being afraid to march in the community!

    Good for them, really proud to see this!!!

    • Embarrassed

      I’m embarrassed that you find a protest embarrassing. You should find the injustice happening in the community embarrassing. A protest brings things more to the public. Well, if it was being dealt with in the first place in a proper way, instead of everyone hiding issues, there would be no need for a protest.

  • Fact

    There are more women refusing to except a gett than man refusing to give a gett.
    Where is the outrage? For a man to be abused is ok?
    Turning justice over on its head.

  • FYI

    When a woman posts on Facebook for a place to eat or stay these looser are no where to be found…. y don’t they help out then?

  • When the shoe is on the other foot

    I wander if any of this woman’s brother was the one who was refusing a get for all the good reasons, which we wouldn’t know, would they appreciate a March? Will they join a march?

    • chevramaidel

      Was your daughter, mother, or sister held hostage for years, unable to start a new life? No? If it happened, chas v’sholom, would you speak up for her then?

  • Wandering

    If they care so much. Why didn’t they march a year ago? Why wait until after she died? Was an agenda by some outsiders? Did chani not want this, and now her family does not have custody, so they march???

    • Leah

      I think you have a good point. I question the intentions of this march. Also what happened? They said it wasn’t going to go to the Besht?

  • Sad

    Had the intentions here been pure I would have joined. The intention was to slander the CH Beis Din and all Beis Dins in general and attack a loving father of six young kids. If you have a problem with a Beis Din make an appointment and go speak to them. Don’t slander them publicly. Shame on you. Your true colors have shown. You don’t care for Halacha and peaceful change. Your shouts of “what do we want, when do we want it” resonate loud and clear. Sad sad.

    • Zalmen

      The ONLY problem “THEY” have with the Bais Din is.
      the Bais Din Wanted to follow TORAH but This Loosers Took to the street to CHANGE torah Since they have No GOD they can have no torah.
      theONLY crown Heightsers join tis Hate March were CAY loosers

  • I.W

    wow. really? maybe people should learn the facts before opening their mouths…we call you sheep, with a silly leader.

  • Wandering

    Why didn’t they March last year when chani was alive??? If they care so much.

  • Return the childrens clothing/belongings to them!

    I see some of you have taken an active role in the “Unchain my sister” group on facebook. I am glad to see people support change. I am not glad to see people support spewed hatred and brazen lies. If you believe Esty and Michoel Kazen who claim the children are their number one priority perhaps you can ask them why they are withholding the childrens clothing and belongings and instead of returning them they hold them in the Kazen home? Should children not be given their belongings? The children have asked for them repeatedly and have been denied. Why are yesomim crying over their unreturned belongings? What excuse can the Kazens come up with? I certainly can’t think of a valid one. Be careful with people who spew hatred and lies. Feel free to validate this information.

  • Shame on u for only a couple dozen protestors!!

    there should have been a few hundred! Shame on you crown heightsers and others for not showing up in droves. Every woman in the community should have been out there marching. You too can be effected by this at the drop of a hat.

    • lets get real

      Whe are actually very proud to not have taken part in a March whose purpose was to “shame” us into adopting their “Open Orthdox” ways.
      Shame on the Family of the Nifteres for letting these people hijack their tragedy to promote Apikurses.

  • to # 26

    you ARE wrong, the legal system does not give less rights to fathers and you have to go to court and pay a lawyer to prove anything.

    • Milhouse

      The legal system is completely controlled by feminists and biased against men. Anybody involved in the system will confirm this to you.

  • A divorce is an equal fights

    If you want to help divorce issues go study to be a mediatior and then you can help people go through divorce. Divorced are terribly difficult and no party is ever satisfied with the end arrangement. At least not initially. I know this first hand.

    I am a divorced woman.

    The dissolution of marriage, division of assets and custody issues are incredibly complex. To take a side in this particular matter without knowing first hand information is just irresponsible.

    Regardless of how messy a divorce gets the man and the women have parental rights. The fight in question was about custody. The father fought for his parental rights. Unless there were evidence that he was abusive and harming the children he was and is doing what was right here. Stepping up to care for the children that are rightfully his and want to be with him.

    There was NO evidence of abuse between him and his children

    There is so much to say here to clarify a murky murky situation and fight.

    Everyone who has commented and encouraged this protest is responsible and had a hand in the bullying and alienation of a man and sever shame to his children.

    I’m sure it was all made with good intentions but it’s result is damage on so many levels.

    Oh and his divorce fight had absolutely nothing to do with the agunah situation.

    It actually did an incredible disservice to real agunoy who truly suffer

    To all those who are really helping the children kudos!

    • YMSP

      You are tremendously wise and are promoting the real solutions that all who speak against this mob (and their well meaning but harmful followers) have been saying.

      May you be blessed and may you continue to write the rational, well thought out and truly helpful solutions that you continue to, “Ain chochom kbaal nisayon” – experience is everything.

      I would add one small point, the Roths of the world would not be good mediators and would cause more harm than good (and probably end up being sued). It takes someone who is fair and whose judgement isn’t thrown out completely because of modern day insanity that passes as reason. You’d be a good mediator. Those who get it and who seek everyone’s welfare would be good mediators. Agenda driven fanatics would not.

  • there's a lot more to this specific march

    there’s a lot more to this specific march
    than meets the eye
    not the way to be handled at all especially because of what this is doing to certain children

  • Anonymous

    im confused
    A rabbi in our community denied a to his wife,
    And people are protesting about it, what is wrong?

    • The Real Story

      He did not deny a Get. He was totally cooperating with the Beis Din. She would have had the Get had she lived…
      This is just personal vengeance, nothing Get-related.

    • Milhouse

      What is wrong is that he did nothing wrong, and there is no heter to embarrass him like this.

  • Hey I am stupid also

    BH

    Today it became popular to show off your faults in public. Hey look at me I am sooo foolish.

  • A sad sad outcome:(

    Juice yasher koan to the organizers of this event. Couldn’t think of a better way to subgroup all the quakes that are important to stay faaaar away from but this march was an easy grouping!!!!!!! Every quack or miserably married person :(.

  • Didn't know what they speak of

    But personally know 2 women in CH , that didn’t get any financial support from the husband for few years ( few I mean 5-10 years they live by themselves with the kids , but with no get – no future family )… They don’t have anything in common , kids are full mother custody …. Men live , one for sure , both lives ….why no option for these women to start new life ….
    They are 36-40 years old , few more years – no children will be born to then …. Why ???

  • gett a life!!!

    What a pathetic bunch of misfits & losers! They don’t give a damn about true Agunot, this was instigated by friends and family of the late Chani Kuperman A”H who have chosen to vilify Rabbi Kuperman in the hopes of getting custody of his children. They are sick people. How they can torture these yesomim is beyond belief. I think he should go back to Israel with his children & never bother with them again. They don’t deserve to have contact, they’ll only torture the children more.

  • The Real Story

    Let’s analyze these pictures. All the pictures, from Eastern Parkway until before Empire Blvd, seem like support for a legitimate cause. The stop at the Besht shows the true story. A legitimate cause, of helping to unchain Agunos, was hijacked in an attempt to further the evil cause of those with a personal vendetta to destroy innocent lives. Unless the owner of the Dry Cleaning/Laundomat has a Seruv on him for refusing to give a Get?

  • btw

    if a woman refuses a gett theres a halachik loophole for a man to still get it so theres really no such thing as a man not getting a gett

  • Are you quite finished yet?

    If you want to focus on the agunot, I support that. Yet, we all know this particular March was a personal smack in the face to one family by their own in laws and family. That I find repulsive and so wrong. Using a major issue like agunot as an excuse to belittle a man and his family, ………does it make you feel better now that you have publically done this? Esty Kazen and the rest of the extended Willenkin family, are you done yet? Can we now focus on the real issue?

    • YMSP

      Yes, that’s what we were all saying. The fact that they were led behind the scenes by a goon in Australia who no one takes seriously and who’s doing it to cover up for his own well known misdeeds (the same goon who sued his own shul for $1mil and one using a corrupt “Bais Din” – sorry, Beit Din – imagine Americanized MO pronunciation) completes that picture.

  • To YOU Basher

    The fact that you feel so emotionally and strongly against this can only prove one of a few options.
    A. You are ill informed
    B. You are embarrassed and feeling shameful that you don’t have guts to stand up for the truth
    C. You are an ignoramus

  • Wow

    as much as I feel strongly about a man giving a get when the marriage is basically over, This circus that took place here was not about Agunos but pure and simple unaduterated sinas chinum of the worst kind organized by hook nose werdiger who socializes publicly in churches! and you wonder why any normal upright Lubavitcher would not join in this blasephemy??! Every one of these people that attended are so obviously frustrated in their own lives and have nothing better to do two weeks before Pesach but to pour pepper on the wounds of a half a dozen orphans. and by the way, the poor woman who nebach passed away REFUSED to give her husband the get rather than the reverse. But she’s already dead so you can’t kill her so you’re going after her poor husband. SHE was NOT an agunah. She was a woman who comes from a family that doesn’t give a damn about what they are putting these innocent children through with their vicious hatred. I pity anyone who gets involved in any way in hurting these children even more than they are already hurting!!!!

  • There is a real issue of abuse

    There is never a good reason for a husband not to give a get to a woman as soon as she asks for it and anyone that things there is a reason is an abuser and controller. Usually a narcosis and sociopath as well.

    • The Real Issue of Halacha

      Never say never. Instead of talking off the top of your head, look at the Halachos in Shulchan Aruch Even Ha’ezer. About one thousand years ago, the famous Cherem (a decree under penalty of ban) of Rabbeinu Gershom was instituted, stating that a woman cannot be divorced without her consent. Thus, the “playing field” was evened. As Rabbeinu Aher states in his famous dictum,8 “The Rabbis acted to equalize the woman’s power with the man’s.” Now, for all practical purposes, neither side in a marital dispute is entitled to a Get unless there exist very specific grounds for one. To procure a Get without mutual consent, a litigation process has to be undertaken — a Din Torah — and the Bet Din ultimately rules if a Get is legitimately “deserved,” and whether or not there is a basis for obligating or, at times, for compelling, the husband/wife to give/receive a Get.
      The husband may be entirely justified according to halacha in not giving his wife a Get and withholding support if the wife left the household without due cause.”
      In other words, this is a very complicated issue, and it is heresy to simplify it in saying “never”.

    • You are as sick as he is, unless you are him. Then you are just plain sick

      There is NEVER a justification to withhold a Gett. Perhaps Isis theology of 2015 is a better fit for you. It might just have the similarities with 1001 years ago when a woman had no rights at all.

    • Milhouse

      There is never a good reason for a husband not to give a get to a woman as soon as she asks for it

      On the contrary, a wife (or a husband) asking for a get is almost never a reason to agree. There has to be a good reason to break up a marriage.

    • Millhouse

      I am glad I am not your wife, and may your children never have to go through this since you would just eat your words.

    • Milhouse

      I’m also glad you’re not my wife, because you would probably abuse anyone foolish enough to marry you.

  • Helen Fass

    I am very proud of all the people who marched today. The situation as it stands is a shame on Judaism. Every Rabbi should support prenups and all Jews, no matter what kind of hat or yarmulke they wear, should get behind this movement.

    • Definition of HELLENISM

      : “devotion to or imitation of ancient Greek thought, customs, or styles.”
      So, basically, you are talking Greek to me. Please “talk Jewish to me”.

  • Jealous

    Why are the Wilenkins jealous that Rabbi Kuperman has real friends and not facebook friends? Friends who help quietly without fanfare and without needing to post every time they hiccup. Private tzniusdike righteous people. May you be blessed!

    • Just saying

      On the one hand, I usually don’t blame the family. On the other hand, I feel sick that someone would be creepy enough to steal the clothing and personal belongings of 6 yesomim. That they called ACS to help ruin their lives is Stalinist.

      Vilenkins (not that you still have any connection with the great Chassidim from which you come from, and who are ashamed of your actions in heaven).

      I don’t know you or him well. But I will tell you this much. Everything that you are doing to him and to his and Chani’s children, you are doing to yourselves. I’m young but won’t forget this and neither will many. If chas vesholom Moshiach is delayed and one day any of us are zocheh that one of these children are redt to any children as shidduchim, we will all run at the chance. By contrast, if any of yours are, I speak for many that we will hang up the phone.

      If you return the stolen goods to the yesomim, your nephews and nieces, then kol devori betailim. If not, I feel very, very, very sorry for what Hashem will do to you. See what it says about what happens to people who mess with yesomim. I truly pity you because Hashem is judge and this is not a hefker velt. I’ve seen what has happened to people who have done things far less sick.

      No threats are implied and none need to be. You have Itta Sharpton. The Yesomim have HaKodos Boruch Hu. Hobt rachmonus af zich un af dein kinder Vilenkin/Kazens, and may you not know from the tzaar of those who mess with yesomim, and if you do, then I truly feel sorry for you.

      May you do Teshuvo. A public apology would be appropriate and would bring you and your children brochos.

  • Where were you Esty?

    Where were you Esty when your sister got married? Where were you when her children were born? Where were you for the 16+ years that you lived 2 blocks away from her and rarely visited or invited her and her family over? Where were you when she got sick? Did you drive her to treatments? Did you provide support for her husband and kids? Did you offer meals or an open home? Did you offer to help ease the burden of the tremendous cost of the vitamins, medicines and tests she sent overseas? Why did you wake up now? Why did you villify the childrens father in their presence? Why are you not trying to make peace? You lost your battle. At least try to salvage the remains. You are ruining a future with your nieces and nephews with your own hateful words. Stop hating and start loving. Real love, not self love.

    • Are you quite finished yet?

      How dare YOU Esty…….you and your husband and your family. To lie to the public, to be such a nasty person, and to steal money that is not yours! You terrorize his family yet say you are helping them?! Why haven’t you visited and put them to bed yourself?! Why haven’t you given the children baths!! Why are you allowing all this responsibility to fall on 15-12 year old girls?! Get over yourself and go help out! Pick up the phone and call THEM! Give them back their clothes that are sitting in YOUR house! Why didn’t you answer them when they were knocking on your door and calling YOU on the phone?! Why should they call again now?? So you can ignore them AGAIN and then call yourself a victim?!?! How DARE YOU ESTY KAZEN!! HOW DARE YOU.

    • Two wrong sides!

      The problem as I read it here is that there are two sides and the ones that are for the guy

      (which he should have given a get because the woman asked for it and there is never an excuse no to).

      are consistently knocking a family that lost a sister and daughter.

      While the family is consistently knocking the father of six children that could use uncles, aunts and grandparents.

      (Especially if you think this guy in unfit to be a father than being a part of the children’s life would be better than fighting and having no chance.)

      So someone needs to get both sides to stop this and if you have an issue of abuse stop the abuse with future woman, and start being family, you have 6 children that will grow up without a father, mother, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc. Do not think that they will grow up to love one or the other, they will dislike both, that is history, both sides are going to lose unless they both become the “bigger person” for the sake of the children!!!

    • Milhouse

      (which he should have given a get because the woman asked for it and there is never an excuse no to).

      What are you talking about? Where did this wicked, evil, unJewish idea come from, that a person has the right to walk out of a marriage whenever he or she feels like it, and his or her partner has no say in the matter? What kind of ROSHO believes such a thing?

  • disgusted

    kudos to all of us crown heightsers that stayed home…At least we know sheker when staring us in the face…So one silly woman had her hour of fame…Go back where you came from and bury your face in a hole…Hope us people never have to see or hear from you again….Falsehoods and sheker cannot stand…..Dont you see that? thats why your silly pathethic march had only a few people… Attended by some hateful vengeful pathetic people who really could care less about Chani or her children…I knew Chani and she would be horrified of her life being displayd like a sack of laundry….Shame Shame Shame on you

  • Jude

    Dear crownheights.info: By several dozen do you mean 150 people. Good on you Itta for organizing the march and bringing to light important issues.
    To those questioning the crowd: Maybe instead of focusing on the externals of whoever marched, ask yourselves if the issues they raised need to be addressed – Is there no agunah problem?? There is no reason to be threatened by attempting to change the status quo.

    • amazing event

      Excellent. I was there also and am certainly not MO or an outsider. I’m mainstream Chabad and have lived in CH for 15 years.

  • Sholom

    I doubt these pants-wearing-women even got married to their clean-shaven, publicly embraced men, so why the need for a Gett?

  • Two wrong sides!

    The problem as I read it here is that there are two sides and the ones that are for the guy

    (which he should have given a get because the woman asked for it and there is never an excuse no to).

    are consistently knocking a family that lost a sister and daughter.

    While the family is consistently knocking the father of six children that could use uncles, aunts and grandparents.

    (Especially if you think this guy in unfit to be a father than being a part of the children’s life would be better than fighting and having no chance.)

    So someone needs to get both sides to stop this and if you have an issue of abuse stop the abuse with future woman, and start being family, you have 6 children that will grow up without a father, mother, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc. Do not think that they will grow up to love one or the other, they will dislike both, that is history, both sides are going to lose unless they both become the “bigger person” for the sake of the children!!!

    • Never a reason not to give a gett?

      You never know until you know…

      If you were told that by giving a Gett you would never see your children again would you give the gett?

      There are many complications in a divorce so don’t take sides until you hear the whole story…

    • to Two wrong sides!

      Since you posted this for the second time, twice showing your lack of knowledge of the Halacha, as well as the facts of the situation, it is necessary to put things straight.
      1) You say “he should have given a get because the woman asked for it and there is never an excuse no(t) to”– The halacha says clearly that there must be mutual consent for a Get! If there isn’t, then both sides must present their case to a Beis Din, and when the BD decides what should be, both sides have to follow the decision. He was indeed following and fully cooperating with this procedure, and had every right to do so, in order not to lose his children!
      2) You say “the family is consistently knocking the father of six children that could use uncles, aunts and grandparents.” They are not “knocking”. The have started a vicious custody battle, to tear orphans away from their beloved and loving father!
      They will always love their father, and will appreciate those that protect them from the “family”, who instead of caring for the needs of these orphans, are raising funds for their evil legal battle.
      Just as it is wrong to be silent to the plight of real Agunos, it is a crime to be silent to the plight of orphans being torn from their loved/loving father.

  • חוצפה יסגי

    דבר אחד בטוח הם “המלבינים פני חברו ברבים
    הביאו שנאה ברחובותינו
    ואלו שהביאו את האירגונים הרפורמיים אלינו התחבאו בהתחהם
    אחד מהם ראש ישיבה שיש לסלקו מיד!!!!!
    יודעים שמו ושם אמו
    באם עד מחר הוא לא יירד מכסאו אנו נדאג דהורי התלמידים ייגדו מי הביא היפך ההלכה נגד רבנים
    ושנאה לבתינו

    • show the face

      yessss and this Rosh Yeshiva Kicked out Rabbi Kuperman.
      what a Chilul H-Shem and Chilul Lubavitch

  • !

    I wonder how many of these people attended the sassoon levaya, since they are so concerned with showing support in numbers for other Jews.

  • maybe

    now is that nobody from Crown Heights community or at least very few marched, the family that is looking for revenge will realize that nobody supports them. stop the hate start the heal.

  • non-gender

    Writers to this blog–
    GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    LOCAL POLITICS AND VIEWS ASIDE. THIS IS AN ISSUE THAT HAS NOT BEEN RESOLVED EVEN BEFORE THE DAWN OF HE MIDDLE AGES BY EITHER HALACHA OR THE RABBIS. Did we just not see too long on this blog a video of a person being thrown out of shul because he refused after ten years to give his estranged wife a get? Did not the Rambam state that those people who refused to grant a get should be thrown into jail and the key be thrown away? In the Middle Ages in Europe, a women walk out of her home owing to the fact that the man was wife beater–a fact known to the community at large–yet no get was given and she refused to return in spite of orders to do so. (citation can be provided

    • chevramaidel

      Must it take ten years? Ten years is a lifetime to women watching their biological clocks tick away. Every rav who sits on his hands, refusing to admit that this problem exists in his community, will someday have to answer to the neshomos who couldn’t come down to this world because their mothers were denied a gett.

    • Ezra

      Really? And just where did the Rambam say any such thing? You can’t provide a citation for that, because none exists, and the rest of what you wrote is no more truthful either.

    • Milhouse

      Did not the Rambam state that those people who refused to grant a get should be thrown into jail and the key be thrown away?

      No, he did not. Stop making stuff up.

    • Yoreh Shamayim

      The Rambam actually wrote that there is a shvil ha’zahav for all characteristics and emitions EXCEPT for ka’as / anger. The anger and poison for members of Am Yisroel (whatever they may look like and wherever they may live) that appears in these comments is disgusting. Launching personal attacks on Yiddin you’ve never met is the highest form of sinas chinam … how can you daven for Moshiach and the next Bais HaMikdosh with the same mouth that spews the hatred that destroyed the last Bais HaMikdosh?!?!
      Instead of spending time writing hateful comments on a website, go do something useful with your life to promote Ahavas Yisroel and Ahavas Torah U’Mitzvos. Real gedolim don’t waste their time with this narishkeit – if you want to pretend that you truly are a holy neshoma maybe you should go spend more time with your wife, children, and chavrusah and less time with your keyboard.

  • Jewish dude

    If the men do not give a get put them in prison until they will give a get.This happens in Israel should also happen in NY city. A year in prison may change their mind.

    • Velvel

      YES
      this is in israel and should be here as well after a din torah IF the psak is that he has to give a gett than you are 100% correct .
      just here ALL so called Agunos are not abiding by Bais Din Rules and dont deserve any support.

    • Milhouse

      “Jewish dude” is probably not Jewish. This does not happen in Israel except in the unusual cases where the Shulchon Oruch allows a beis din to order a get. In a normal case neither a husband nor a wife has any obligation to agree to a get, and if force is applied then the get is worthless.

  • To # 105

    How dare YOU?! How dare you slander a person on a public forum? Why don’t YOU start learning. Hilchos loshon hora?! Not one single human being should be faced with the heartwrenching challenge of watching a sister die. Anyone who TRULY feels for the six orphans will seek the truth in a proper manner. Maya hashem have pity on us all.

    • Wikenkin

      They did not have to kill her with vitamins just take the sister to oncologist she would still be alive

  • CHT

    When it comes to such cases, there are always some lies and manipulations. I only get involved when I know the two people so I can judge for myself where is lie and where is not.

  • Australia

    The activisit IWR sounds like from Melbourne
    Someone claimed a Rov in Australia agrees
    Let her try it in Melbourne in this Rov’s hometown!
    it’s enough one of the so called rav’s in C.H. is from there we have enough!

    • sydney not melbourne

      this “rov” who agrees to the prenups is from Syndey, not Melbourne. he is a known crook and not known to be a big Talmid Chacham.

  • yankel der shlepper

    This whole situation around this EVENT reminds me of the chabad house that one of the shabbos guests expressed his opinion with criticism on how the shliach runs his program. obviously if the shliach does not want his program to be disturbed he would just send this person out and not welcome him back. These marchers are criticizing the rabbonim and batei dinim and our community in a non halachic and disgusted way. all we can tell them, you can leave, you are not welcome here, please don’t come back. and if you worry about our being “CHABAD” or our yiras shomayim thank you for being concerned. Just go! chabad is filled and based on ahavas yisroel but we will not and can not agree to non halachic behavior and chilul hashem in our courtyards. you can go to the misnagdin, to the modern orthodox, to the atheists just go!

  • Agunah is a Jewish tragedy

    And like any tragedy, we are all responsible to do everything we can to help each and every woman get on with her life after a divorce!
    Every single person I spoke to in Crown Heights agrees with this. Every single person I spoke to said they wished they could join this march, except that the whole march which is mean to be a justice cause, is based on hatred and vitriol from the Vilenkin family toward the father of th e orphans! If only Ms. Roth would have listened to the voices of reason she could have created an event that glavanized the en tire community instead of dividing it to the detriment o the agunos in our community.
    Or maybe the march should have been one of J’Accuse! J’Accuse y ou, Esty Kazan, of killing your sister. You and your cohorts who have taken on the responsibility of someone’s life, keeping them from proper treatment that could have saved her life! J’Accuse you of killing her, and now of trying to kill her husband. J’Accuse you of lying about it and of trying to put the blame of the illness on her hsuband when teh blame lies squarely on YOUR shoulders!

    How can you live with that? How can you live with the reality that your sister could have lived, could have been a mother to her children??

    And you accuse their father of not being a good father??? You are the one who forced your views on her and killed her.

    That is the tragdy of today. That is what the march should have been.

    At least you can give them back their clothes, can’t you? Shame on you!

  • yankel der shlepper

    Perhaps that individual family of MOISRIM should be proud of themselves. They are oiver every minute on several LAVIM Medoraisa! how would anyone deal with people that pretend to be part of the community but publicize that they are eating treif and are proud of it! eating chazer – pork is the same aveira and same lav as what they are doing to the widow and orphans. The rabbonim should forbid them from entering any shul, school and ban them! Moiser has a din of rodef!

  • דעת בעלי בתים היפך דעת תורה

    as Torah observant Jews we know how to approach these issues we have Rabbi’s and beis-dins and are careful not to do the wrong thing. it seems in this case one side did not like the what the beis-din (that they picked…!) was doing and stormed out without the result they expected and now is trying to change the Torah to conform to popular demand… you can tell by the look of the participants of the march that they are mostly confusedocs… so they vented!
    Now just do the the right thing and support the all people who are suffering especially יתומים as the Torah instructs us… וירחם המרחם

    • Chosid

      according to your logic, the rabbis in Australia were right and the victims were wrong. interesting.

  • yocheved

    thats terrible that you posted every person there…. .showing “everyone is under surveillance” if they speak up and speak they is that a shaming tactic crown Heights news? as Jews we need to stand up for women, we need to stand up for children against abuse. the same abuses in the goyim world are happening in crown heights because of the goyisha technology infiltrating our Torah values. Kol HaKavod to every single Jew standing up and speaking out against gett abuse. I hope it raises awareness bezrat Hashem

    • CHLEAKS.COM

      Whats the problem? Didn’t you march in a public street, expecting public attention? Are you now ashamed of what you did?

      What photo are you in?

    • gett a life!!!

      If it’s so great that a few people were there, why is it a problem that their faces were recognized? Or is it because only a minority of the nutcases were from Crown Heights? I have lived in CH for 30 years and I didn’t recognize one person in the “crowd”. Most of these rabble-rousers are outsiders. Do we go into THEIR communities & tell them what to do & how to do it? This has NOTHING to do with Agunot, it’s all to do with hatred of a widower. Disgusting.

  • whats wrong?

    They are protesting and have every right to.

    Some of you need to chill!

  • Cruel Cruel World

    I just can not believe how low are so many people who commented on this site. We should support and rally behind anyone who dares to stand up for what’s right. People’s self righteousness is apparent when they say that they are looking out for the children but in truth, the father should be embarrassed to show his face in public. It is just beyond logic that this man could continue his pathetic pity party. Ultimately, he will have to stand before G-d who will be the true judge. The rest of us just pray that the poor children find some kind of closure. Meanwhile, kudos for every single person who came to show support today. The only shame is, there should have been ten times the amount of people.

    • CHLEAKS.COM

      Your whole Jihad is based on lies. There has not been one sherd of evidence presented to back anything you and your propagandize claim.

      It’s a pity that this effort (which could have been a good one), is based on lies.

      Once the foundation is weak, everything that built on top of that is weak.

      I hope and pray that this father does go out to the street with his head held up high. May Hashem give him the strength to do so and to raise his family in peace.

    • You've got it all wrong!

      We should condemn and rally against anyone who dares to stand up for what’s evil! Go look and see for yourself the love the father showers on his children, and the deep love they have for him, and YOU will be embarrassed that you believed for even one moment the vicious lies spread about him!
      The only shame is that the march did not end on Eastern Parkway!

    • Democrat

      USA is a real Democracy
      If you don’t like Crown Heights you can move anyware you like even to Facebook

  • What a shame

    no one is denying that there is a real agunah crisis, but this was done completely the wrong way. Had they gone about this with sensitivity, intelligence and forethought, they would have had a lot more success

    • no agunah problem

      after today i do not belive anymore the bs about agunah.
      every story is diffrent BUT Agunah is ONLY if Bais Din said so.
      all this faminists and lgbt can run lives as they wish and whoever wants to follow them Fine they can even take the entire cay with them to that Werdiger lady and out of CH

  • So proud

    This is so important and necessary!! Change may not be easy but there is no other way!! These people are true trailblazers!

  • abuse

    Don’t get distracted by distractions.Her choice of treatment belongs to her alone.This is about spousal abuse.Period.
    CH knows nothjng about abuse until it hits home.
    When your daughter and sister will be abused,she won’t be heard either. Only then will the ignorant comprehend.
    This community is no different than Satmer. Heads in the mud.Delusional and apathetic.
    Shame on you.
    Disgrace to Chabad.

    • Abuse and Abuser

      by Now Evryone can draw a conclusion the Rabbi Kuperman Was NEVER the Abuser but he was ABUSED vedal

  • Appelbaum

    I wont comment on the kuperman case because I dont know enough information to make an informed comment, but I marched today for the general support of agunot.

    In a lot of cases, men refuse to give their wife a gett and hold the women hostage on purpose either for money or just to be vengeful. Those men who do that are wrong.

    I wish that every marriage could work out, but unfortunately some do not work out, and when all attempts to fix a marriage are exhausted then the couple need to separate peacefully and maturely and according to halacha the husband must divorce his wife by giving a gett.

    • esther L

      Appelbaum, you say that you “dont know enough information to make an informed comment” yet you feel comfortable marching to embarrass a whole family.

      The march was clearly directed at ONE family and you have to be a complete imbecile to say or believe otherwise.

      Its never to late to apologize…

  • To 146

    Trailblazers???? Are you kidding?? There’ve been events on this issue before in CH; without it being on the basis of one family’s tragedies and their lies and slander to cover their own criminal behavior!
    Just ask the organizers of the march if they spoke to anyone objective about this whole thing. Where was all their information coming from? Anyone other than the vindictive Vilenkin family – they who treated their daughter with ‘alternative faith healing’?
    This is the outrage here! Let’s take up the agunah issue by all means, but let’s do it with honesty and integrity and without the circus of falsehood it was decided on.
    Itta Werdiger, next time please use your talents and your energy in a way that will bring together a community instead of on the shoulders of something that divided a community! Every single member of this community is concerned with agunos!!!

  • Moshe

    in the times of king david , before a soldier went to war he had to write his wife a conditional divorce in case he didnt return from battle and his body wasnt found.

    In the olden days we did things to help prevent agunot, so why cant we do things to help today?

    • Milhouse

      You just answered your own question. A woman whose husband is missing, probably dead but without proof, is an agunah. A woman whose husband is alive and well and present, and is willing and able to be a good husband, but she has decided to leave him, is NOT AN AGUNAH. She is a moredes, and the halocho says that first of all pressure must be applied to her to persuade her to return to her husband and give up on her demands.

    • IsMilhouseRight???

      Do you belive that a woman that would like to terminate her marriage (when her husband is alive and well and able andwilling to be a good husband)al pi torah she shouldnt be allowed too?

      Well if yeh then 1) it should be told and stressed to all women prior to marriage evry woman before the chupa should be told And made relize that they are accepting a life binding agreement with no turning back .

      2) we should stop selling this bs versian of Judaism repects womans rights lets start with a article on chabad.org

    • Milhouse

      1. Everyone already knows that marriage is a binding commitment for life. It has always been so. Why does anyone imagine otherwise?

      2. Judaism does respect women’s rights, just as much as men’s rights. Since when is it anyone’s right to abandon a marriage? You seem to think a marriage is less serious than a lease or a cell phone contract!

      Judaism does not beleive in no-fault divorce, because that is a wicked concept. By the way, New York law also does not believe in it. Do you claim NY law does not respect women’s rights? And why women more than men?

    • IsMilhouseRight???

      1) evryone knows it a binding agreement but not everyone knows that if they would want to leave the marrige despite there comitment they wont have that ability(much unlike a cellphone plan where uou allways have the ability to terminate contract you may lose yourmoney But not your freedom) (Do you think a woman who hates her marrige be it for a good reason or bad will ptovide for a stable houshold )
      2again of course the woman commits to the marrige but that shouldnt dissalow for a pottential way out and if there is no way out then that should be stressed much more then it is.
      3)id appreciate it if you’d do a bit of research before bringing examples from no fault divorce the reason nyc doesn’t allow it isnt because of a binding agreement but rather to prevent a spouse from taking the children and abusing divorce Laws but nothing to do with a woman who just doesnt want to be married to a spesific individual without any ulterior motives

    • awacs

      “By the way, New York law also does not believe in it.”

      By the by, that hasn’t been true for years – 2010, I think.

  • chevramaidel

    It goes without saying that none of those moaning, “Won’t someone think of the poor children?” were there today. Had they been, they would have heard the heartfelt words of someone who grew up the child of an agunah. I’m sure he loves both his parents, as most children do. But the anguish of his mother, held hostage by his father for the last twelve years (half his lifetime!), impelled him to speak up for her today. For her, and for all those in her position.

    • Problem

      As a goy you really make sense.
      but a JEW has Torah and as torah said KABED ES AVICHA V’ES IMMECHA.
      You and YOUR MOTHER are Obligated to owe it to GOD to honor the father.
      now you can give all your ideas BUT
      a child is not alowd to say ANYTHING against the father.
      and if you dont like the JEWISH way find a church to go to with Itta Werdiger Roth

  • to #118

    You couldn’t have said it better!
    Esty you stole the life of those children, SHAME ON YOU!

  • Anonymous

    knowledge is power. Knowledge without spirit creates evilness. Knowledge with spirit creates positive actions.
    Shame on them for targeting R. Kupperman. I wish this was about Agunos only, and done with good spirit, modesty, and pride. (Preferably without kids involved!!)

  • sick of the lies

    Esti you feel guilty because it was you that convinced your sister to only use natural medicine when she was diagnosed 3 years ago. Your family is full of sick people. What happened to your cousin who lived in your house twenty years ago that died because you guys would not let her go to a doctor giving her only natural meds.
    Why are you not returning the kids clothing,
    Why have you never been there to help your sister ?
    Why are you so bitter ?
    Why was your husband a naser for 3 years ?
    Why did you call child services on rabbi Kuperman,
    Why did you file complaints with the police department ?
    Why are you a mossier ?
    Why can’t you see you and your family are only damaging the kids ?

    • Milhouse

      What do you mean? The whole march was against Rabbi Kuperman. The entire point was to embarrass him and turn people against him.

  • Rabbonim

    I am interested in this cause and I think it is very important. I have one question. Why did the march not end in front of the Rabbonims office? If the problem as they say is with the Beis Din why not take the dialogue there? Why has a dialogue not been created yet?

  • its about time!

    the rabbis are sleeping, the “Community Leaders” are a joke finally there is some sort of organization for these poor woman to try and help them spread awareness..
    the tzemach tzedek did what ever he could to help out women who were agunot, as should the rabonim today instead they are busy with local politics.
    after a march like this the rabonim should make a clear statement as to where they stand on the issue and how they plan to deal with agunot moving forward.

    • oh please

      Those agunos were real agunos who wanted they husbands back. The people who just want a divorce are dealt with in Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 77. We do everything to save the marriage and if that doesn’t work, can advise but cannot force or embarrass someone into a get and if this is done the validity of the get is compromised.

    • Milhouse

      Don’t you dare invoke the Tzemach Tzedek’s name. I dare you to cite one case when the Tzemach Tzedek ordered a husband to divorce his wife against his will. It never happened. The Tzemach Tzedek worked hard to find heterim for actual agunos, whose husbands were missing or dead, not crazy women who decided to leave their husbands and imagined that they had some sort of right to a get. Such women are NOT AGUNOS.

    • Chosid

      Thank you for mentioning the Tzemach Tzeked. As you correctly stated he did all he ever could to help Agunos.

      And yes Milhouse, there were times when he helped a husband obtain a get when the husband was alive and in town. There is a famous story with Rabbi Akiva Eiger.

      Please do your homework before commenting.

  • its about time_!

    the rabbis are sleeping, the “Community Leaders” are a joke finally there is some sort of organization for these poor woman to try and help them spread awareness..
    the tzemach tzedek did what ever he could to help out women who were agunot, as should the rabonim today instead they are busy with local politics.
    after a march like this the rabonim should make a clear statement as to where they stand on the issue and how they plan to deal with agunot moving forward.

  • sick

    a father just buried his 7 children how dare you all continue to fight?! how dare you point fingers at the wilenkins
    there are NEVER two sides to ABUSE!
    crown heights WAKE UP!! STOP PROTECTING ABUSERS!!

  • Be the change you want to see in this world

    I commend you itta for standing up for those who have no voice. this is a real issue in our community. for all those who say there is a smarter way to help agunot what exactly is that. what are you doing to help free these women from their controlling husbands. all the ppl mocking this rally and the ppl who marched -for what they wear/ where they live is an embarrassment to Chabad and Judaism. wake up. you live in 2015. stop sweeping these issues under the rug.

  • ch resident

    i did not read the comments it hurts a lot. I cannot unerstand how whoever joined in this stupidity or had anything to do with it is not embarrassed firstly for the poor children of this family and secondly for the massive chillul hashem that u have caused. The woman that is in question that didnt get her gett is unfortunately not in this world any more. How do u have the audacity to do something so outright stupid when its over she is not alive any more and that means that there is no such thing as giving a gett anymore. Are you all so selfish that u have to embarrase 6 orphans like that and to top it all off make such a chillul hashem???? This is ludicrous

  • same sentimemts

    Would have been expressed not too long ago regarding abusers and molesters. Just as those issues needed to be brought into the light, so does the issue of Agunot.
    Shame on all the naysayers.
    Fear is rearing its ugly head.
    May the merits of the Rashab carry us all to greater heights of ahavas yisroel,,- towards EVERY Jew.

  • #139 said it all!

    This march would have been attended by the whole community if it was done with honesty and righteiousness. The outsiders who came to march are faultless, they came lishmo to serve a cause that is a good cause. But the community could not be there because this march was begun and fueled by hatred and lies. Finally someone said what everyone – specially the friends of the Kuperman fammily for years – knew, that poor Chani was diagnosed when she could have had treatment and lived, but instead was coerced by her sisters overbearing craziness to treat breast cancer by some quacks in mexico! And her husband opposed it, he wanted her to get real medicine which has helped thousans of women withthe same diagnosis. the doctors in our community should make their own march against this travesty!
    Too bad that the aguna situaion which desperately needs everyone’s support was hijacked, at least in this community, by the maliciuousness of the family who is so screwed up with guilt that they have to make the husband a scapegoat to their own blind obedience to quackery which killed Chani.
    It’s a big pity that the organizers of the march got all this criticism when they could have got just encouragement if only they wouldn’t be in bed with the Vilenkin family.

  • I don't understand

    This is about agunos which is a real issue and has been in past generations. Where is the connection to that family whose mother passed on r”l. Why are people saying it’s connected. Am I missing something here. Please help me understand. Yes I’ve heard the story nebach with that family but I still don’t see why agunas is not a real issue. Nobody is pointing a finger at the father here. Or are they.

    • You're missing the obvious

      The fact that they stopped at the Besht proves that that was their plan all along… Yes, the aguna situation is real and should be dealt with. But they turned it into a protest against Kuperman. Shame on them.

  • Pro Gett vs Anti Gett

    Would like to see this group go against the group protesting that Beis Din that tried to force a Gett!

  • Lashon Hora

    The amount of lashon hora contained in some of these comments is shocking. Everyone thinks they’re saving the world by publicizing details of the story they think they know???? Let everyone help in the way they can. Let the protesters protest, let others help by cooking meals and donating money. There is not one way to do things.

  • No name

    B’H

    Regardless of who is right and wrong this woman is a holy Jew and is no less then any of us.

    The disregard and RUDE INSENSITIVE bashing is unacceptable.

    She created this protest with pure intentions.
    Give her a break and show some mercy.

    This why Moshiach isn’t coming.

    Shame on you Crown Heights. The Rebbe would have encouraged her through much more positive language. She is one of us. We are all in this together.

    Stop pretending to be Chassids!

    Be real with yourselves and get off your high horse. Don’t judge anyone elses actions but your own.

    • Jeanette Friedman

      Az intz zenen lecher, vus bist di mit a shmutzignen pisk (keyboard)? Hust gurnisht ofgeteen, host gevizzen as di bist nor a nahr. As dan tochter et vissen fin a zeleche zachen, vest di balt farshtayn vos a menuvel an vi krim di bist.

  • Are you serious??

    Her illness gave her the power to finally stand up and share the horrors of her years of abuse and to choose her own path of treatment. It was her first choice in years. But not her last. her last was that her children should know the truth.her holiness was pure and will continue to blaze trails in cleaning by yes exposing all the chomets hidden behind the most unseemly places in our midst. This is bigger then the wall of shame this is a evil which maybe the usual molested in their 20’s will not have the thr wisdom to see but the older generation will fight they have seen these hip offices way too often and are terrified for their children

  • Esty Kazen

    to 133 and its ok for Esty Kazen to lead her sister to the grave ? It’s ok for her to spread brazen lies in our community ? Grow up

  • dina eber

    A mother just buried her daughter!!!!!!
    A father just buried his daughter!!!!
    the BIGGEST pain !!
    Brother and sisters just buried their sister
    2 WEEKS AGO
    HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO THEM THE WAY YOU DO/?

  • Jeanette Friedman

    Never thought I would see the day when the neighborhood that turned me into an agunah would be subjected to a march that should have taken place 45 years ago. An agunah march in Crown Heights, that started in front of 770, where my life changed when I married Mindel’s nephew.

    Whoever said women are not entitled to gets should go back and read the Talmud. We USED to be entitled to gets, but MEN, influenced by the women hating Christians of their time, who got it from the Greeks and not from HASHEM, changed the rules and turned women into disposable baby machines. If she can’t have a baby, she is hevel, garbage, throw her out.

    But if Tati has money, clean out his bank account and hold her hostage for life, while you unscrupulous blackmailing men get heter meah rabbanim by paying off daynim left and right to mess up your wives and the kids you wanted her to have, but you didn’t want to provide for.

    I was an agunah, kept hostage for 7 years until he got his money. He ignored the Rebbe and his uncle, who both begged him to free me but all he saw was $$$$ and what?

    You supposedly frum guys (and my chassidishe mother says these day frim is krim) are full of contempt for women. If parthenogenesis existed, you would have no use for us other than baking challah and cleaning toilets. Shame on you.

    You know how much money he gave me to take care of my child? $15 a MONTH. Such frumkeit. Such menschlichkeit, NOT.

    They teach you women are tumah, and in the dictionary tumah is defined defiled and corrupt. That is a lie about women. It’s men who are all of those things. Free Agunot. And ladies, go to civil court and enact the get law established by Reb Moishe Feinstein. None of these ketanim (who the guys call the gedolim) come to Reb Moishe’s little pinky nail.) have the right to decide Reb Moishe is wrong. Reb Moishe was right. Follow the way he gave you to freedom. And check out the honest court in Riverdale, the International Bet Din, if you need help.

    • Friedman

      do you realy think ” MEN HATE STRONG WOMEN”
      looks like YOU have a problem.

    • Ezra

      Every single word of this post, including “and” and “the,” is a lie. To take but one example, you write:

      “We USED to be entitled to gets, but MEN, influenced by the women hating Christians of their time, who got it from the Greeks and not from HASHEM, changed the rules.”

      You know perfectly well that this is an utter and ridiculous lie. There is nothing that you can find anywhere in Jewish literature suggesting that the rules for when a woman is entitled to a get used to be more “liberal.”

      A blatant liar like you… hardly surprising that your marriage didn’t last.

    • Milhouse

      Whoever said women are not entitled to gets should go back and read the Talmud. We USED to be entitled to gets, but MEN, influenced by the women hating Christians of their time, who got it from the Greeks and not from HASHEM, changed the rules

      Liar. You are simply a liar. There is nothing to refute here, it’s just made up out of your own imagination.

      And since you have told this obvious lie, I see no reason to believe you about your own story.

      And ladies, go to civil court and enact the get law established by Reb Moishe Feinstein. None of these ketanim (who the guys call the gedolim) come to Reb Moishe’s little pinky nail.) have the right to decide Reb Moishe is wrong. Reb Moishe was right.

      Nobody says R Moshe was wrong. The get law he approved was already enacted and is the law in NY. Judges in NY can hold up the civil divorce until there is a get. So what? This has no relevance to a case where one partner doesn’t want to break up the marriage at all. If the partner doesn’t want a get or a divorce, the law has no effect.

  • dina eber

    that cousin(my sister) 20 years ago was ,like many ,many others beautifully hosted by her aunt for a all year
    she was always loved and welcome there
    she passed away of an aneurysm
    You are really out of idea to bad mouth a beautiful ,reserved machnis oirach for years family

  • Who is Jeanette Friedman ???

    “I am here because when things were circling the drain, the banks wouldn’t renegotiate our mortgage. The credit card companies hiked their interest rates. My husband got sick and lost his job. And the co-pays on drugs have become obscene. My Nexium went from $30 for 90 pills to $640+ on a co-pay. Full price for that formerly $30 bottle is $1080. That’s why I am in Zuccotti Park. I marched against Vietnam in 65 (and married a Viet Nam vet). I marched in the Women’s Lib Parade in 1970, because my Orthodox Jewish husband refused to grant me a Jewish divorce for seven long and bitter years. I marched on behalf of Soviet Jewry and for the State of Israel. Now I am marching for me.”

    just another Zuccotti Park anarchist

    • Milhouse

      So she marched against saving the Vietnamese from communist tyranny, but she thinks people should rescue so-called “agunos” from a much more benign plight?! If she didn’t give a d**n for the Vietnamese, why should anyone give a d**n for her? If she thought they should be abandoned to their fate, why shouldn’t her so-called “agunos” be treated the same way?

  • sad day...

    don’t you realize how sad it is that the only people not afraid to speak up are the one’s who got so burnt by the system that they left and are therefore not afraid to speak up anymore? they already lost everything and have nothing left to lose.
    I am a woman going through this and am seriously considering leaving it all because I am already seeing and feeling on my own skin what it means to be ostracized for despicable actions my husband took.
    For me, starting to speak up, simply speaking the truth, (which people don’t want to hear because then they have to start questioning the scripts they have told themselves to make it all more comfortable), standing up against abuse has cost me EVERYTHING. We punish victims for the crime of speaking up…do you all not see how cruel it is?
    It is time to start looking at the truth, as hard as it is. The carpet has gotten too small for everything that is being swept under it.
    People are getting away with double lives, figurative murder, abuse and we are silent.
    Worse than that we condemn the victims!
    Don’t kill the messenger! The message is valid now more than ever.
    It is desperately needed by people like me who were hurt in indescribable ways.
    Ironically it is the people you label as outcasts who are helping me right now to hold on to the last bit of hope that maybe, just maybe I won’t have to leave everything I hold so dear.
    What are you doing to save us neshamos at risk? Who else is speaking up for us?
    Yes, there were mostly only a certain type of people there and yes maybe it wasn’t done so professionally, and yes maybe it was a bit hot headed and yes maybe not so tznius for a woman to shout through a bull horn…
    so you know what you can do, the tznius one’s who still conform to the box and look the par? speak up, join in and give this painful issue a voice.
    I guarantee that if you won’t we will soon have here what we saw in Australia, where the carpet got too small to hide all the shmutz anymore.
    Don’t let that happen. You want to save face? make a kiddush hashem? speak up! join the rally!

    • you are so right!

      I hope you have a strong support system, there are many people that want to help and that will listen to your story!!

  • wise words

    “Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.”

  • Chabad evolution

    Roth represents something I like — Frum, worldly and open.

    Wake up people — ur kids are flocking to CAY — they enjoy open, honestly discussion.

    Sorry to disappoint but not everybody can fit ur mold.

    Times are a changing ….

    • Yes For Change

      Lets join the “REFORM” movement
      all we need is CHANGE. !!! CHANGE.!!
      CHANGE.!!!
      when you don’t have any Yirat Shomayim YOU HAVE ” CHANGE” !!!!

    • Chochma

      This type of rhetoric is what lead to Call Of the Shoffer.

      BTW, the terrible affects of COTS is still rippling (tearing) through our community. Many marriage destroyed as a result.

    • YMSP

      Seems like CAY are the most closed-minded nasty people who treat anyone who wants to save a marriage or prevent parental alienation like the KKK would treat their targets.

      This rally was sick and their tactics accomplish nothing other than probably adding years of delay in any case that these hooligans touch. Look at what some commentators said about divorce mediation and take it to heart – if CAY even have hearts.

      All this KKK style hatred was started by YU and YI “rabbis” who openly express contempt of women (a la Hershel Schachter) and use divorces as political launching boards while wreaking maximum havoc in the lives of whoever they touch. One thing’s for sure, they don’t actually help anyone and prevent any kind of resolution in order to trumpet their own glory.

  • Lies and more lies

    Who do you think paid for Chanie’s treatment? The Wilenkins? With what money? They have none. Rabbi Kuperman raised the funds and handed it over to Chanie. Hundreds of dollars a week for vitamins. Blood tests sent across the ocean monthly, treatment after treatment he sent the money for all while not agreeing with it. Medical suicide is more what it looks like happened. Who do you think has Rabbi Kuperman and his wifes life savings? The Wilenkins of course.

  • Picture perfect family

    Rifky how about you repay Rabbi Kuperman all the student loans you took for him to pay for college? Leahee who are anyway? When were you ever in the picture? You barely knew your sister while she lived now you know her when she passed? You know her wishes? Or do you know how much Esty brainwashed her? Zeldy I pity you, never too much upstairs. Meir you seriously need anger management. Mendy I’m sad for you.

  • Wilenkins fix the bond you broke

    Bubbe and Zaidy Wilenkin why do you allow your children to rip your family apart? Don’t you want a future in which your grandchildren look at you lovingly instead of with so much disgust and hate. Stop being moisring. Start repairing the bond you broke.

  • Fantastic Dad

    Halivai that my husband should be a great father as Rabbi Kuperman is. He does it all: cooks, cleans, does laundry, helps with homework, gives loads of attention to each kid, baths and bedtime. Keep up the great work Rabbi Kuperman your children love you. May you go from chayil to chayil and may Hashem bentch you with much nachas from your children.

  • To Dina Eber

    Who are you? When did you have anything to do with the Kuperman family? Great family that you are. When was the last time you visited with the kids? Where were you their whole life? Go back and hide under the same rock you have been hiding under all these years. Same goes for all the Minsky cousins. Chani and Rikki save your breath for someone who actually gives a darn. Both of you never had anything to do with the Kupermans. The kids barely know you. If you really cared you would help heal the wounds inflicted by your Wilenkin relatives.

  • harassment

    someone should sue the vilenkins for harassment. 1. called child services 2. suing the father for custody in court 3. called the cops. this is total harassment. where does the hypocrisy end you will not win. your mentschlichkeit left this world along with your daughter/sister.

  • trying to understand

    to 217/ could you explain why rabbi kuperman doesn’t call minsky to a din torah? after all he is not only spreading lies about him he also fired him ?

  • to #219

    How do we start campaign to oust MINSKY from Lubavitcher Yeshivah????!!! how can an individual whos running the rebbi’s Mosed run aimlessly around crown highest spreading rumors??!! hes the head honcho on the wilenkin side!!

  • Agunahs mislead

    I want to say that knowing people personally without getts I was pro the march , but when it stopped outside the besht I left and left the group unchain my sister , can’t believe how mislead I was!!!
    My husband started going to the besht a year ago , he always says the ahavas yisroel there is admirable , Rabbi kupermans d’var Torahs & farbrengans are so special , he also stays late to ask my husband how he’s adjusting to ch his new job etc .. and the head of the shul Sruly clapman always goes out of his way to say good shabbos personally to each member , share a good joke or even a big warm smile makes my out of towner husband feel so at home ,.
    But looking back to the march almost all the faces looked unfamiliar which at least makes me feel better , it wasn’t really our community
    Hope we have moshiach soon !! This is all ridiculous

  • Anonymous

    As of today Monday march 23 at 2pm the children have still not received their clothes. Esty and Michoel has them in their home on Mapel street. And she publicly says that they have no contact with her neices when I see her talking tot hem in bais rivkah every day!

  • LETS GET HONEST

    Let’s call a spade a spade this whole agunah crap is pure and simply vicious hatred of the wilenkins and has NOTHING to do with the dead women whose children are being abused by the relatives out of their own cruel natures. THEY, AND ALL THOSE THAT ARE ADDING MORE FUEL TO THIS HORRIBLE DISGRACE SHOULD VE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HORRENDOUS TRAGIC DEATHES OF THE SEVEN SIBLINGS THAT DIED IN THD FIRE!!! You are trying to Ben these six orphans alive simply out of SINAS CHINAM!!! You are playing with fire!!! You will hAve to answer to Hashem for what you are doing to these poor orphans!!!!!!

  • Dear March Organizers

    Good on you for organizing an important event. If you want any credibility you should 1. probably get a Rabbi on board 2. keep Kuperman’s name out of it, too controversial especially with everything that is coming to light now. Also a third thing you should know many people actually care about the aguna crisis. Keep politics out, have transparency, Rabbinic authority and Orthodox leaders.

  • Heads up.

    Watch and learn, people. This is how someone self destructs-by revealing his true colors through cyber bullying and manipulation

  • users

    People like the W family don’t really have an avid interest in reforming the agunah issue instead they will use your public platform until they are done with you and then move on.

  • Baby

    all I see is a bunch of grown ups stomping their feet like a bunch of babies go speak to the rabbonim if you want change.

  • dying wish

    I am still trying to figure out this story and I question whether the gett was really this lady’s dying wish. It is known that people who are very sick are vulnerable and can easily be manipulated. This sounds more like an alternative agenda here than a dying womans wish. She sounds like she was a wonderful person. I wonder if this is what she really wanted…?

  • Mishnayus

    Can someone organize mishnayus lieilu nishmas the nifteres instead of all this marching and fighting?

  • pesach is coming!!!!!

    we all heard of the four sons beginning with chochom ma hoo omer think about the words chochom mahu- what is a chochom- omer- what he says people speaking looshon hara are defintly not the chochom

  • You are all lost......

    A family looses 7 members in a tragic fire and barely even 5 condolence Reply’s to the report from CH but here you have over 260 reply’s to a divisive article that
    that has valid points on both sides of the Aisle.

    SHAME ON ALL OF YOU !!!!!

  • dont judje

    rikki and chani have known them for yrs. they children are best freinds – think before you speak. if you dont know the wilenkins dont do an aveira for no reason, spreading rumors- one thing i know for sure they did not kill their neice or daughter -only idiots believe rumors

  • rabanim

    DO NOT CARE OR HELP- A WHOLE COMMUNITY SPRAEDING LOSHON HORA -WICH WONT HELP ANYONE AND THEY DONT SAY ANYTHING———ONLY when a tragety happens do you guys realize things—–you want moshiach stop the loshon hora

  • loshon hara

    as if you care about the kids, they were well more affected by this article and denouncing comments, than this hardly noticeable march .

  • loshon hara

    .this is a public site. you want suffering agunoss to go to rabbonim, which rav allowed you to spread lies and rumors

  • Minsky

    Minsky put away a yungerman in jail for 13 months, so that he can rob the guy. Then he acts like a big tzadik. He has spent hours with the hippie kazen, conniving how to hurt kuperman. I don’t want to go into detail here. But I can tell you that they are an evil bunch of mossrim . Kuperman is a tzadik. He doesn’t fight back. No Facebook, no marches. He just tries his best to carry on his life, while they are busy conspiring how to hurt him and his 6 children. The organizers of the march have blood on their hands. The participants are a bunch of naive and stupid people, and that is a limud zechus for them.

  • Jeanette Friedman

    1. Maimonides ruled that a woman who found her husband “repugnant” could compel a divorce, “because she is not like a captive, to be subjected to intercourse with one who is hateful to her.”[38] Mishneh Torah, Hilkhot Ishut 14:8

    And when you snarky amharatzim have the courage to write under your real names and don’t hide behind meaningless screenames and posts filled with sinat chinom and richilus, maybe someone might take you seriously. But the Rebbe, he is watching all of this from above, and whether you think he is the salvation of our people, he isn’t going to show up until you stop hating.
    He cries bitter tears from many of these hateful posts.

    • Ezra

      And every other rishon disagrees with Rambam on this. Your point? And how do you know the Rebbe isn’t crying bitter tears at your pathetic attempts to change well-established halachah to suit your predilections?

    • In the shchuna

      If you or any of the other self indulgent misfits who showed up actually respected halacha we wouldn’t be having this disucussion.

      Please don’t invoke Rambam to prove your selfish point. Moreover, please don’t speak for the Rebbe or any of his chassidm. Halacha is not a weapon to use against those with whom you disagree. You and your ilk are misguided and no amount of coddling with fix that.

      I really do hope you recognize the error of your ways and come back to Torah (and make the Rebbe proud).

    • What's Your Point?

      You seem to have a problem with halacha, in general, and men, in particular. These are problems within yourself only you can resolve.

      Blaming a man for your problems does not make them his fault. Spending your entire existence hating men, Torah and what ever else is such a waste…

      If you truly hate yourself then blame G-d for creating you. At least then you may come to see the foolishness of your ways.

  • anonomios

    my sister is friends with one of the daughters who keeps emphasizing how much she loves her father

  • to ch yentes!

    Keep yourself out of the story tell you know the full story &it’s clearly understood!

  • sarah

    those who believe strictly in psycholoy my advice to you try to get a menter lern Torah Chasidus and even Tanya falling into the trap of divorce or even wanting a divorce can be very devastating ,divorce is a very hard.it is hard for the kids its never ending pain even after divorce.Think before please do your own self a favor and your surroundings.