7:30pm: Evening of Awareness in Memory of Zlatie Sharfstein
Chana Sharfstein is a fighter. Throughout much of her life she endured tragedy, struggles and many obstacles. This never deterred her, always fighting for what was right and in her eyes just. When her autistic daughter Zlatie passed away last year at the age of 53, it propelled her to continue to fight on behalf of people with special needs.
“When Zlatie was diagnosed with Autism, the medical condition was only in its infancy,” Sharfstein recalls. “There were no occupational therapists, physical therapists or early intervention to assist the child. Few resources such as day camps, schools or residential centers were available.”
Yet most painful for her and her family was the lack of support and understanding of the needs of this population. While many in the 1960’s chose to hide their children from the public, Sharfstein took no such actions and treated her like every other member of the family, taking her to the park, restaurants and public events. As a result there was a backlash for her family, who were the recipients of mocking by classmates, belittling of teachers and negative undertones from their neighbors.
While today, Sharfstein says things are much better, with community support, schools catering to this population, and such organizations as the Chabad run Friendship Circle, she says that the community at large still needs to learn about people with special needs and how they can be more sensitive to them and their families. In a new book Dignified Differences: A Special Soul, Sharfstein and her family talk about their pain, their triumphs and how they feel.
“Zlatie’s life impacted our family in a most painful and heartbreaking way,” her brother Sruli Sharfstein writes, “It was during a time when people with special needs were not understood. Our neighbors, associates and mentors teased me, and at times placed the blame of her ‘blemishes’ on me. I still feel the pain. I still live with the insults and ridicule I endured as a child.”
For Sruli it was tragic, but he triumphed and sees Zlatie as not only being a challenge for those who encountered her: “I feel that Zlatie was placed on this earth to test our humanity and compassion. Some failed; others greatly succeeded.”
Zlatie’s sister Seema Gersten describes Zlatie as one who was unable to communicate with those she loved the most, yet she was able to tell us which songs she wanted on the record player and what foods she would enjoy for dinner.
“When you judge someone based on a diagnosis,” she writes, “you miss out on their abilities, uniqueness and beauty. Zlatie was so much more than a woman struggling with autism.”
With raw emotions Zlatie’s mother writes about her being the caretaker, the emotional struggle when she had to decide to send her to a residence and facing her granddaughter who came face-to-face with someone who spoke condescendingly about Zlatie.
With all that, she writes: “Thank You, G-d, for entrusting me with this special human being. Zlatie impacted my entire life, and helped me grow in so many ways, teaching me to appreciate the small things, to love unconditionally, to be strong.”
Today, Sunday, March 8th, Sharfstein together with the The Friendship Circle of Brooklyn, in commemoration of Zlatie’s Yahrtzeit, is presenting an evening of awareness for people with special needs titled Building Bridges. The event will take place at the Jewish Children’s Museum, 792 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn, NY, from 7:30 to 9:30 pm. At the event Dignified Differences: A Special Soul will be distributed to all attendees.
Anonymous
How can I buy the book?
Heartbreaking
How sad and awful that Zlatie, OBM, for the majority of her lifetime, and her family, had to suffer such painful ridicule, cruel insults, and putdowns simply because she displayed symptoms of autism. How can so-called frum people (adults) be be so insensitive to anyone who has special needs. Does it make them feel far more superior, or do they not realise how hurtful a throwaway insult/comment can be to the ‘special’ person and/or their family members? At the very least, people should be civil, even if they cannot be of much practical or emotional help to these brave families.
Depression
What about ppl with Bi polar depression a lot of ppl in CH don’t understand what that is & all they do is judge judge judge. They don’t understand what’s going on with that person. Do they really care ? Would they invite them over 2 their house 4 shabbat ? This is an issue which no1 really talks about & discusses. It needs 2 b talked about.
to#3
I have heard people talking about how Mental Health is an area which is much needed to be brought to the Jewish communities to educate us all.
I think that Nshei journal brought some information in a recent issue, but every Mental Health issue / diagnosis should be brought up and dealt with. We need to be informed, know options, get services, know how to get the services, and more. there is no reason for anyone with BiPolar or anything, to feel sad and left out. There are ways to deal with these issues. everyone should help request this. wishing you well.
other magazines
Binah, Mishpacha and Ami also recently covered first hand accounts of mental illness.
s23
#3, you are very correct in all those comments.
#5, thankyou, there are alot of people who will be looking into those magazines to see their coverage of….what some people call mental illness, also known as Mental Health issue.
I recently heard that there are some wholistic treatments for this. It is well worth looking into. The pyschiatric sources dont seem to be doing a great or effective job of it….
sz
can anyone share some of what they got from this program? I just heard briefly that it was an amazing program.
chana sharfstein
Look in Torah Cafe for video of memorial evening. It is not ready yet but keep looking. For copies of souvenir book, I believe they can be purchased from Dovid Zaklikowsky at 917 586 8706 or 718778 0866.You can also contact me at chanasharf@gmail.com or 718 773 0440.