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Man Faces Indefinite Detention for Refusal to Give Get

Jerusalem Post

The Israeli supreme rabbinical court of appeals upheld a life sentence handed down to a “Chabad” man who has refused for ten years to give his wife a bill of divorce.

Meir Gorodetzki was imprisoned by the Jerusalem rabbinical court in 2001 for refusing to allow his wife to divorce him and has spent the last ten years in jail for his ongoing refusal to give his wife a bill of divorce, or get.

Rabbinical courts have sole jurisdiction in matters pertaining to marriage and divorce, and have the ability to mete out punitive measures to convince a husband to give a wife a bill of divorce.

According to Jewish law, a man must grant his wife a get of his own volition before they can be divorced. A woman cannot remarry unless she receives a bill of divorce.

The maximum sentence that the rabbinical courts (beit din) can give for such an offense is ten years of imprisonment.

Gorodetzki’s sentence was coming to an end but his wife requested that he not be released, fearing that he would flee the country and she would never be able to remarry.

The Jerusalem rabbinical court ruled in May 2011 that Gorodetzki would remain in prison for as long as he continues to deny his wife a bill of divorce.

Gorodetzki appealed the case to the rabbinical court of appeals, the Great Rabbinical Court in Jerusalem, claiming that the sentence infringed the country’s Basic Law of human dignity and freedom.

In the hearing in November, details of which have only now been released, the panel of rabbinical judges – headed by rabbinical supreme court president Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger – ruled against Gorodetzki. In a creative interpretation of the law, the judges ruled that it is Gorodetzki himself who is restricting his own freedom, as well as that of his wife, and that he holds the keys to his personal liberty.

“If the appellant is released from prison before he has divorced his wife, she will remain an agunah (a woman bound to her husband) for ever… Anyone who allows this would be considered as if they had shed her blood,” Metzger said during the hearing.

“The keys to your release are in your own hands… through the fulfillment of your obligations as a Jew. Release your wife and then you will receive your freedom,” Metzger told him.

Gorodetzki and his wife Tzviya Esther first married in 1983 in a civil marriage in the US but divorced in 1987. Gorodetzki emigrated to Israel in 1989, became Orthodox and joined the Chabad hassidic group. The couple then remarried in 1991.

Gorodetzki’s wife subsequently accused him of physical violence and verbal abuse, and the Jerusalem rabbinical court ordered him to give his wife a get in December 1999.

He refused to grant his wife the get and was imprisoned by the Jerusalem court in October 2001. Despite his incarceration, Gorodetzki continued to deny his wife a get and the court ordered additional measures be taken against him, including barring him from receiving visitors, letters or telephone calls (apart from with his lawyer); preventing him from receiving mehadrin (stringently kosher) food; two 90-day periods of solitary confinement; and barring him from buying food in the prison canteen. The court also instructed the prison to provide psychiatric treatment and denied a request by Gorodetzki for his children to be allowed to visit him.

“We are very happy with this ruling and it sends a very strong message,” said Batya Kehana.

However, it is a shame that these kinds of sanctions get used in so few cases. Instead, it needs to become the norm. In the majority of cases where husbands are sent to prison, they quickly give a get.

She added that for cases with men that exhibit psychological pathologies who are prepared to sit in jail for extremely long periods rather than divorce their wives, the rabbinical courts should annul the marriage retroactively, based on the principle in Jewish law of “mistaken acquisition.” “If a man denies a woman her freedom, then he should have his own freedom denied,” she added.

According to a recent study conducted by the Rackman Center for the Advancement of the Status of Women at Bar-Ilan University, punitive sanctions are imposed by rabbinical courts in only 1.5% of the cases in which they are applicable.

Such measures include preventing a recalcitrant husband from traveling abroad, confiscating his driver’s license, being struck off from professional associations and imprisonment.

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39 Comments

  • Jewish Law Annulment?

    Being willing to sit in prison for more then ten years clearly demonstrates “psychological pathology.” Nevertheless, halachically, it is extremely difficult to annul a marriage. I have never heard of any Beis Din annulling a marriage on such grounds. Can someone comment on this and site source? What are the halachic criteria for insanity?

  • to what point and purpose

    great idea when needed
    what is his reasoning? unless he is mentally unstable
    and to what point and purpose?????
    there is no excuse for abuse and/or violence in a marriage
    marriage is sacred and should be held so, the Torah gave the the option of divorce b/c it’s understood that marriages don’t always work out, and a person should not have to suffer because of it, may it be the husband or the wife

  • sholom b

    RABBI METZKER THANK you !!!!
    i give rabbi metzger full credit , 100/00 you want freedom give it first to your wife ,than you’ll get the freedom , “you are a real ACHZOR ” you desserve more than that , dont look for mehadrim food and on the other side kill your wife , you are killing her , any transgrasion if she commits , you’ll burn in hell , there is no Teshuvo for the ten years you killed her allready ,

  • CR

    Why the sneer quotes around “Chabad”? There are, unfortunately, people with shady conduct in our communities as well. Call them our own and publicise their names as folks in need of some Hocheiach Tochiach from other ANaSh.

  • Tuky

    No sens
    He is far from being a Chabad Chosid. Would the Rebbe allow such a behaviour ! Go, get help poor guy and don’t pretend to be a Chosid.

  • Chaim Tovim

    According to a report in the Jpost last year, in Israel 50% of refusals re gitten are women… i.e. the man is technically an agun

  • disappointed

    it is clear this guy is nuts etc. in a case like this why can’t a heter meah Harabonim be used? Isn’t it clear after 10 years!

  • BIBby

    Turky , you just eliminated every chossid, so the Rebbe now has no chassidim , well done.

  • WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW

    I hope I don’t offend with my suggestion, but this rasha is clearly both mentally ill & totally narcissistic – he is willing to give up his very LIFE to shtech his wife & keep her chained. And the irony is ( trust me ) that these type of people , in their delusions, actually think that they are Tzadikim & 100% frum & correct in their evil behavior !! A solution must be found – this is pekuach nefesh. Taking all of this into account, I would ask the Court to allow him Rabbinical counseling, have a smart trained Chabad Rabbi “befriend” him & then have the Rabbi open up the Igros with him to a “pre-arranged” spot to a letter from the Rebbe telling him to give his wife a GET this minute – I’d have a Bais Din waiting steps away at the prison & take care of business before he knows what hits him. And WHY are “punitive actions only taken in 1.5% (1.5 % !!!) of the cases that merit them” ??? Something is very very wrong – who knows, maybe fixing the Bais Din travesty will hasten the Geulah ???

  • outraged

    I am shocked that this is occurring in the modern state of Israel. It sounds like a bad story coming out of Kabul. It is a blessing that I live in the United States were the separation church and state precludes such barbaric behavior from the Rabbis. I hope that the good consciousness of the people of Israel will prevent the Rabbis from obtaining enough power to implementing Talmudic law.

    The woman is the one holding the key to her freedom. She can obtain a civil divorce in the civil court, irrespective of his wishes. If she chooses to disregard civil law and only accept a religious divorce, she should live by her decisions; however, he should not have to sit in prison because of her religious beliefs.

    By the way, I was raised in Ohalei Torah and obtained Smicha.

  • Former Jew

    Religion is a personal matter; there is no excuse for using the power of the state to coerce religion. Imprisoning this man for life is the quivalent of murdering him.

    In consequence of this case, I renounce both Judaism and Zionism.

  • #9

    Do you have any idea of Halacha??
    Heter Meah Rabanim only works to allow a man to marry a second wife if his first wife cant receive a get, removing the Cherem of Rabeinu Gershoim. The torah forbidds a woman from having 2 husbands and there is no way a million Rabbonim can be Matir it.

  • TO # 12

    WHOA !! SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT : ACCORDING TO YOU, THE WIFE – WHO “KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING INTO” WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED WITH A FRUM CHUPPA – SHOULD NOW BE KEPT A PRISONER FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE ON EARTH BC (ACCORDING TO YOU) SHE SHOULD JUST STOP BEING SUCH A “RELIGIOUS FANATIC”, & GRACIOUSLY ACCEPT A CIVIL DIVORCE ONLY – SO THIS MEANS THAT YOU YOURSELF WOULD THEN MARRY & HAVE CHILDREN WITH HER ??? HERE’S SOME BIG NEWS MR OHOLEI TORAH : WE LIVE BY THE TORAH & THAT MEANS THAT WE DON’T EAT CHAZZAR, WE DON’T DRIVE ON SHABBOS, & WE NEED TO GIVE A GET WHEN A MARRIAGE IS DEAD C’VS. DO US ALL A FAVOR PLEASE – EVEN IF YOU MANAGED TO GET SMICHA, DON’T EVER CONSIDER DAYANES – THE GOLUS IS BITTER ENOUGH WITHOUT SOMEONE LIKE YOU WITH YOUR CRUEL ATTITUDE SITTING ON A BAIS DIN & PASKANING. JEWS ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR RACHMONOS – DO YOU KNOW THAT RABBONIM USED TO BEND OVER BACKWARD TO CALL A CHICKEN KOSHER SO THAT A POOR FAMILY WOULDN’T SUFFER MONETARY LOSS ??? YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT EMOTIONALLY & INTELLECTUALLY SOMEWHERE – LET’S HOPE YOU’RE NEVER TESTED.

  • TO 13

    the guy thinks to be freakin jewish hes just outta his mind or in a delusion where hes doing the right thing and is still an active jew so keep it down

  • Astounded

    I can’t believe it! To sit in prison for 10 years and not to give aget?! Is there more to the story we don’t know?? Is he simply mentally ill? Perhaps. This story is very strange from many prespectives.

    P.S. and some of the comments are eqally starnge i.e. 12 & 13.

  • Milhouse

    #2, annulment is possible, but only if there is clear proof that a defect existed at the time of the marriage, and that she never had an inkling of it until she discovered it one day and immediately left him. If his psychiatric problem developed after the marriage, or if when she first discovered it she decided to stay with him and try to put up with it, then annulment is no longer possible.
    #8, Yes, and in most cases, both male and female, there is no halachic requirement to give or receive a get, so there’s nothing an honest beis din can do. The basic halacha in normal cases is that there is no automatic right to leave a marriage just because you want to; unless both parties agree to the get the one who wants out is stuck. Only in extraordinary cases such as where there is abuse can a beis din order a man to give a get or a woman to accept one.
    #9, Huh? What are you talking about? What kind of heter meah rabbonim could apply here? He doesn’t want to remarry; she does. So how could 100 rabbonim help? Do you imagine 100 rabbonim, or 1000, have the power to change halocho and allow an eishes ish to be with another man chas vesholom?!
    #11, what makes you think such a simple ruse would work? If he won’t listen to a beis din, why would he listen to the “igros”?
    #12, you are not only a sheigetz but an idiot too. “She can obtain a civil divorce in the civil court, irrespective of his wishes.” What on earth are you talking about? What civil court grants divorces? There is no such thing; marriage and divorce is exclusively a religious matter and up to the religious courts. This is not the USA, and there is no “separation of church and state”. No civil court has the power to interfere. And this is exactly as it should be. Why would you want it to be otherwise, when Hashem has clearly commanded it?
    #13, there is no such thing as a “former Jew”. Either you were once Jewish in which case you are now a traitor and apostate Jew, or else you were never a Jew in the first place.
    #16, to whom are you appealing? To the jailbird?! Do you think he is reading this, or he would care what some commenter on the web thinks, when he has shown such defiance to a beis din? Or are you appealing to someone else? Nobody but the husband can give her a get, and he must do so of his own free will.

  • LaAniyas Dayti

    This whole article begins from the wrong side of the fence.

    By stating “refusing to allow his wife to divorce him”, it is clear that the author has no clarity. In a get, the woman is the recipient and the man the giver, exactly as it is in a chuppah, and in fact in the most basic function of a biological marriage.

    The the author sinks into the classic ‘am haratzuss’ of the MO, and claims that it is the woman who cannot marry unless she has a get in hand. Which rabbi (let a lone a Rov) would marry such a ‘getless’ man for a 2nd marriage (literally, as in bi-gamy.)

    Aha! Heter meah rabbanim, you say. If 100 Rabbanim sign a document allowing the man to remarry (because the wife cannot or will not accept a get), he is free to remarry. The woman has no such ‘loophole’, so she is bound to him. Here is the catch. A Heter meah rabbonim IS a get, given to the Beis Din who write the document, and they act as a shaliach to give it to the woman as soon as she turns up. Besides all that, such a Heter MR is a pain. The 100 signatures need to come from a broad geographical spectrum, and as a result, it becomes an expensive procedure. Vedal.

    The issue of anullment has surfaced under the banner of the left wing of Modern Orthodoxy, albeit that it was given credence by such trailblazers of halachah as Rabbi Tendler Jr. (formerly of Monsey), who has found a way of allowing a kohen to marry a divorcee (a Lubavitcher man as Exhibit A.)

    The issue of Agunoys is not nearly as bad as the alarmists say, and those very alarmists pour oil on the fire. Not once has my attention been drawn to a rabbi telling a man seeking divorce, “…and you better not make any problems with conditions to be met…” Difficult to think of a better way to diplomatically encourage the problems. My advice to any woman (especially this one who went back to this wacko and remarried him a second time) – do not ask for a get. You will not be marrying soon, and holding that document is a low priority item when you have your own life, and that of your children, to get into order. The less you appear interested, the quicker he will give. Recently a woman had him begging to take a get, and she refused until he settled for a full 50/50 on the sale of the house.

    This woman in the article has imprisoned him – but, with poor advice, she has also imprisoned. herself.

  • Milhouse

    #11, “WHY are “punitive actions only taken in 1.5% (1.5 % !!!) of the cases that merit them” ??? ”

    Maybe because that figure comes from “the Rackman Center for the Advancement of the Status of Women at Bar-Ilan University”. What do you know about that body, and how much credibility do you think it has? Look up who Emmanuel Rackman was, and you may understand.

  • Agunah

    Too bad we can’t do that in the USA.
    Many good women right here in Crown Heights are agunot R”L, some for 15, 20 years and more!
    Where is the outcry? These men who gleefully withhold a GET only to torture their once beloved bride will all rot one day.
    If you know a rat like this, put the preasure on him, so he can do tshuva while he is still alive.

  • someone

    It can be ‘mekach taus’ מקח טעות because when she married him she didn’t know he is so cruel. If she knew it in the first place, she wouldn’t marry him in the first place. based on that its possible to annul the marriage!

  • If its mutar, beat him!

    BS”D
    Yea, just beat him if he’s that brutal!
    if it is TRUE that the RaMbaM holds as such and it’s ok to do!

  • Former Jew

    #19 “Either you were once Jewish in which case you are now a traitor and apostate Jew, or else you were never a Jew in the first place.”

    Call me what you will; the misandrist aspects of both secular and religious Judaism are driving away Jewish males and guaranteeing the religion will eventually die out.

    With rulings like this you shoot yourselves in the foot.

  • DavidJ

    Why don’t they just beat him senseless until he gives the get? Isn’t that how they did it in the temple era?
    This person sound psychologically unsound. Why can’t they just annul the marriage. This woman is suffering for no reason at all. This type of stuff gives the halachic/religous lifestyle a bad rap, and turns people off from yiddishkeit. Whatever. The whole story sound bizarre. You got my comment so I guess the post worked. Gotta laugh at frum people’s values sometimes…

  • Milhouse

    If imprisoning him for ten years hasn’t made him agree to give the get, what makes you think a beating will suddenly change his mind? Also bear in mind that *no* pressure may be applied on someone to give a get; pressure may only be applied to make someone comply with the legitimate order of a beis din. Thus, a beis din must first have ordered him to give a get, and that order must be legitimate; only then may he be pressured to obey, because it is a halachic obligation to obey a beis din’s legitimate orders. For such an order to be legitimate there must be extraordinary circumstances, such as abuse, that make it mandatory for him to give her a get (or for her to accept one).

    #24, mekach to’us only works if the flaw existed at the time, and if she had no clue that it existed, and left him the minute she found out. In most cases this is not so.

    #28, on what grounds would you annul the marriage?

    #27, your heretical comments have no place on a frum web site.

  • miriam

    I’m an agunah in Israel. I might get a get only if i buy my freedom, give over assets etc..I think it is good they put him in prison, but I was told the only way I could get a get was if I had medical records of the physical abuse I endured. I was too ashamed to go to a doctor for the bruises, so I had not proof. The rabbinut used verbal abuse and pressure to try to force a woman to go back to an abusive situation rather than pressuring the guy to give a get. The av beis din said “were you beaten” I said “yes.” he said “how often?” I said “about every month.” He said “Taht is not often enough to justify leaving a marriage.” My husband will give a get but only via blackmail. Outraged, chareidi women cannot go to the rabbinut. No chabad Rabbi in israel will give a woman a heter to go to Family Court so we have to be degraded at the rabbinut. I wish I knew how she put this guy in prison. I heard I need to show pictures of bruises, which enforces the idea that a woman must be beaten to a pulp before she has a right to a get. And the rabbi at the rabbinut said I wasn’t beaten enough.

  • miriam

    sorry, I meant to write a chareidi woman in Israel is not allowed to go to Family court. Not Chabad anyway. No rav will give a heter for this.

  • Milhouse

    Miriam, if a husband beats his wife, or a wife beats her husband, the victim should call the police and make a police report. Even in chutz lo’oretz this is permitted as an exception to the issur of mesirah; kol shekein in Eretz Yisroel where the police are not “nochrim”.

    The problem now is that your husband presumably denies that he ever laid a hand on you, and the beis din has no right to take your word over his. A dayan has to be impartial, and if you say it happened and he says it didn’t, and you can’t prove your claim, then what do you expect from them? How can they decide in your favor? If you were in their position, and were presented with such a case, would *you* believe you? On what grounds?

  • Pareve

    It’s not like he didn’t know what he was “get”ting himself into (ok, bad pun) after having REmarried her religiously. Anyway, the ruling is brilliant and that is exactly what Torah and halacha are. They are never there to hurt you; only you can hurt you. I am thinking that if he were not a baal teshuva, the withholdings suggested while he imprisons himself wouldn’t be so harsh.

  • miriam

    Millhouse
    my point is a woman should not have to be beaten before she has a aright to a divorce. According to the ketubah a man has obligations to his wife, my husband did not fulfill those either (including financial support)

    Millhouse..do you really think extreme physical violence is the only grounds a woman can have for divorce? what about the ketubah? this is judaism, not islam

  • miriam

    I had other reasons for divorcing, also verbal abuse, non financial support (the latter I was able to prove. He absolutely refused to support the family for 8 years). But it seems like the Rabbinut feels that the only kosher reason a woman has for leaving her husband is if she is being beaten severely. They don’t care if there are other reasons. this sounds like Ramallah, not Jerusalem and the fact that you seem to agree Millhouse, is shocking.

    If I ever get my get, I don’t think I’m going to get married again. If this is the way people thing Jewish marriage should be. I am still on the derech because I know the Torah is NOT this way, otherwise there would be no ketubah if a woman had only the right not to be physically harmed, but so many people like Millhouse and others seem to feel that beating is the only justification that it frankly scares me out of marrying. maybe my get is irrelevant.

  • Milhouse

    Miriam, there are VERY FEW grounds on which a person is entitled to a get without their spouse’s agreement. The normal case is that unless both parties want the get the marriage continues. Marriage is a contract, and just as you both got in of your free will you must both get out of your free will; one spouse has no right to leave the other and break the marriage just because he or she had a change of mind. That is the halacha and it is the Torah way. If you want a get and your spouse doesn’t, all you can do is persuade them, and that may mean bribing them with money or custody of the children or whatever it takes.

    However there are exceptions, where the halacha recognizes it’s just not reasonable to expect someone to stay in such a situation. One such exception is where there is abuse. The gemara says “a person cannot live together with a snake in the same basket”, and a person who is being abused has to get out of there! In such a case the abuser can be forced to give or accept a get.

    Lack of financial support is not necessarily grounds for a get; it’s a financial debt, and a beis din may rule that he must pay up but he doesn’t have to give a get. If he refuses to pay then of course he can be punished for that, and if the beis din has the power then it may simply confiscate his property and sell it in order to pay his debts. However if he can’t support his wife, and she is destitute and wants a get so she can find a husband who can afford to support her, then he must give her the get.

    There are other exceptions too, e.g. if he takes up an occupation that makes him have a bad smell all the time, or he develops a disgusting skin condition, or other things happen that make him impossible to live with. Each case needs to be decided by a competent beis din. But my point is that in the *normal* course of events there is no right to get out of a marriage.

  • miriam

    Thank you Millhouse…
    I wish they would tell kallas this before they get married to men who turn out to be exploitative and abusive. Now I know why there are so many of these characters in the frum world…they can get away with it and get away with witholding a get… In that case, getting my get is irrelevant, since I don’t think I’m doing this marriage thing again.

    Thanks for the straight talk. But it would be the morally responsible thing to tell a kallah “You have no right to get out of a marriage unless you are being beaten on a regular basis and can prove it.” Instead, they tell us a man who doesn’t fulfill the ketubah should give a get. If what you are saying is true, Millhouse, then discussing the ketubah at all, pretending women have any rights to be treated as human as all is misleading. But guess what, if women knew the truth as you represent it, few would become frum and even fewer would ever consider getting married.

    Somehow I think the Torah is more enlightened and compassionate than the way Millhouse is representing it.

  • Milhouse

    Miriam, you can’t get out of *any* contract unless you can prove that the other side is breaking it. You can’t get out of a cell phone contract or a lease without proving your case. You can’t just say you’re not happy and get out. Why would a marriage be laxer? And a marriage is for life, unless both sides agree to dissolve it, or you can prove that extraordinary circumstances exist that require you to get out. If you can’t prove it, and he denies it, why would you expect anyone to believe you?

  • miriam

    Millhouse
    I agree that a person MUST provide evidence, but it seems you are saying the only reasons a woman is entitled to a get is if she can show medical records of extreme physical abuse or if he becomes somehow malodorous. The list of things that would require a man to give a get is much longer than the two reasons you give. This courtesy of Chabad.org..

    http://www.chabad.org/libra…