Weekly Dvar Torah: The Quintessential Jewish Woman
We commemorate the 36th Yartzait of our beloved Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Z”L, the wife of our Rebbe.
To honor this date, thousands of Shluchos hold their annual Kinnus Hashluchos, where they re-energize and inspire one another in their holy work in all corners of the world.
Now here is the great paradox. The Rebbetzin was the most private and discreet person that you could imagine. Besides being the daughter of the Frierdiker Rebbe, and a very smart and educated woman in her own rights, she was married to the Rebbe, the most prominent Jewish leader in the world, yet she was the most private and unknown person. Instead of enjoying the honor and publicity that such a woman truly deserves, she shied away from any hint of publicity, to the point of not going anywhere or doing anything that may place her in the limelight.
As a child growing up in Crown Heights, I can count on my fingers how many times I saw the Rebbetzin. Mostly I saw her when she would come to 770 to visit her mother. She drove her own car, she never entered via the main entrance, but she would use the side entrance to be as inconspicuous as possible.
Today, instead of mirroring her behavior during her lifetime, we celebrate her life in the most public manner, by holding an international event for women.
What is interesting is that when the Rebbetzin passed away, the Rebbe spoke about her in a most public way. For an entire year he would remind us to take lessons from her life, even though the Rebbe never told us anything about her or any stories of her life. The Rebbe only referred to one or two events that affected the entire Lubavitch community, which was otherwise known to the public.
During Shiva, when visitors came to pay their condolences, they would try to engage the Rebbe to talk about the Rebbetzin, the Rebbe insisted on keeping everything totally private. The Rebbe only said that her greatness is only known to Hashem, and he would not elaborate.
On the other hand, when a Chassidic reporter wrote in his newspaper about the Rebbetzin, where he revealed many personal stories about her, accompanied by photos that until then were never seen by the public. The Chassidim, in defense of the Rebbe’s honor, were outraged.
How did the Rebbe respond? He invited this reporter for a private audience, something that was completely out of the norm, and he thanked him for his beautiful article. He told him not to be deterred by the public criticism, and he even paid him for the articles written about the Rebbetzin.
Then, for an entire year the Rebbe kept telling us והחי יתן אל לבו that the living should apply to their heart and learn from the Rebbetzin how to live. The private Rebbetzin was there front and center as a role model for us all.
It is my belief that the role that the Rebbetzin plays, is the full personification and embodiment of what a Jewish woman is, and the central role a woman plays in creation.
By analogy. A King is building a palace for himself and his queen. He needs an Architect, Concrete contractor, Drywaller, Electrician, Excavator, Finish carpenter, House framer, HVAC contractor, Interior designer, Landscaper, Painter, Plumber, Roofer, Structural engineer, and the list goes on.
While construction is in progress, the last person you will see hanging around in the construction area is the queen. It is universally agreed that it is inappropriate for the royal queen dressed in the finest regal clothing, to dirty herself and get involved in the nitty gritty of the construction.
Imagine if the queen decides one day to go to the construction site. She orders her servants to bring a comfortable sofa and she marches straight into the center of all the building, and she demands that the workers move aside because she wants to relax in her palace. With all due respect she will be asked to leave, and to come back when all is complete. Her role is not to get involved in, or to be present during the construction. Furthermore, her presence in this property at this time will only delay and hinder progress on getting your palace ready for your enjoyment and pleasure.
Only when the construction is complete to the final detail, will the queen be escorted to the palace with great fanfare, and she will take ownership of this beautiful palace that was worked on, and prepared for her.
The workers who spent years on site will be asked to leave. Their mission has been accomplished, they are no longer needed nor are they welcome to hang around in this place.
The workers could argue, “I have spent a good chunk of my life here, why can’t I stay on?” The answer is that they were only workers. They have no claims to this palace.
The queen had no place during the construction, and the workers have no role once the palace is complete.
In Chassidus and Kabbalah, the man is Z”A, and the woman is Malchus. Now the man plays the role of provider to the woman. However, when Moshiach will come, we are taught that אֵשֶׁת חַיִל עֲטֶרֶת בַּעְלָהּ = A virtuous woman is the crown of her husband, the virtuous woman will be the crown on top of the man, the woman will provide for the man.
Hashem decided to build Himself and His Queen a Palace. He hired ‘men’ as workers to prepare this Palace by refining the world through Torah and Mitzvos. He also empowered His Queen to nurture the waiting world and prepare the children for that glorious moment when He will move into His Palace with the Queen. The Queen is doing G-d’s will to perpetuate the existence till eternity. Doing this she manifests G-d’s Power of Infinity by creating new life. The Queen has no business getting involved in the construction since it interferes with her own role, and it disturbs the construction. That’s why on the construction site, the Queen is not to be seen. Only the workers are front and center.
However, when Moshiach will come, then will be time to march into the Palace, then the Queen will take front and center, after all she was the reason why this entire construction of thousands of years took place. And the workers will only play a secondary role.
While the Rebbetzin was alive, she nurtured the world while staying away from center stage, she didn’t interfere with the construction. But after she passed away, and as the Rebbe said we entered a final stage closer to Moshiach, now is the time to make her public, to prepare the world for the welcoming parade of the Queen into Hashem’s Palace.
Advancing towards the time of the revelation of Moshiach, we see the women having more of a leadership role, as indicated through the fact that the Rebbe gave the women the position of Shluchos, and not merely helpers to the Shluchim. Hence, we commemorate the Yartzait of the Rebbetzin by holding the international Kinnus Hashluchos.
Have an inspiring regal Shabbos,
Gut Shabbos
Rabbi Yosef Katzman
