Weekly Dvar Torah: Marriage, a G-dly Mission
On the ninth and the tenth of Kislev, we observe the birth and the passing of the Mitteler Rebbe, and we celebrate his liberation from Russian czarist imprisonment.
When the Mitteler Rebbe was to get married, he was asked which suggestion would he prefer? He responded; whichever Shidduch will happen sooner is most preferable. Because he can’t wait to hear the Chassidus that his father, the Alter Rebbe, would say on the occasion of his wedding.
Marriage is not just a natural exercise by a man and a woman, rather marriage is about a mission in life, which can be fully explained by Chassidus.
By Divine Providence, the Parsha this week is also about a Shidduch. It is about Yaacov leaving Beer Sheva to go to Charan to find himself a wife.
On the surface, Yaacov was told by his parents Yitzchock and Rivkah to go to Charan for two reasons. 1) “Your brother Eisav wants to kill you”. 2) “We don’t like the Canaanite girls, we prefer a girl from Charan”.
Both of these reasons are questionable.
We find that Yaacov was so strong that he was able to remove the cover off the well with one finger, something that a large group of shepherds would have to do every day. In addition, Yaacov was able to defeat even the angel of Eisav, and the angel had to concede defeat. That should indicate that Yaacov was strong enough to defend himself from any attack from Eisav. So why did he have to escape?
Yitzchock also didn’t marry a Canaanite girl, and Avraham sent Eliezer as a messenger to find him a wife from Aram Naharayim. And Yitzchock did pretty well. So why did Yaacov have to leave his parents to find a wife; couldn’t she have come to him like what happened to his father?
The point is, Yaacov was sent out on a Shlichus. His marriage laid the foundation of the Jewish nation.
Yaacov left Beer Sheva, a city that was named to eternalize a peace accord between Yitzchock and Avimelech. It was the symbol of peace. He went on to Charan, which stands for G-d’s wrath. Charan incurred G-d’s wrath, it was the lowest of the low, and there Yaacov was to find his wife, and together they were to start the Jewish nation which will elevate the world and alleviate G-d’s wrath.
On the way, Yaacov dreams; he is told by G-d, that “your children will be like the sand of the earth. You shall spread forth, west, east, north and south. And all the nations of the earth will bless themselves by you and your children”.
Hashem says to Yaacov: 1) You will have (many) children like the sand of the earth. Not like Hashem said to Avraham “they will be many like the stars of the sky”. Hashem tells Yaacov, that the prerequisite to the Jewish nation is to be humble like the sand of the earth that is trodden on by everybody. 2) Once you are humble, you will spread forth in all directions. 3) Once you are spread-out, everyone will be blessed by you.
Once in Charan, Yaacov had to deal with Lavan, the back-stabbing father-in-law, who at every turn, tried to fool and deprive Yaacov of his rights, starting with deceiving him into marrying Leah . Yaacov had to maneuver very carefully to succeed in building his family.
This is the story of creation and the journey of the Jewish nation. We were created to descend to the lowest of the low, but we shouldn’t lose sight of our mission. We know that we will be challenged and that we will overcome all the obstacles. We just need to be aware and stay focused by remembering the mission, which is to make a dwelling place for G-d at the lowest place.
The Mitteler Rebbe knew what marriage is all about, he knew that this is a G-dly mission. And he knew that to stay focused and on track, this happens by studying the Chassidus that the Rebbe teaches in connection with marriage.
And when we celebrate the liberation of the Mitteler Rebbe, we sing Pada Veshalom. “He redeemed my soul in peace from battles against me, because of the many who were with me.” We start with the many who were in battle against me, and who ultimately turned around to be with me. It takes a battle, but when you do what G-d expects from you, then even the enemy joins, because you did G-d’s work, which is to elevate the enemy and turn him into a friend.
By studying Chassidus, we remain focused on the mission of life. This we learn from Yaacov and the Mitteler Rebbe. Yaacov built the Jewish nation, and the Mitteler Rebbe directs the light to illuminate the road.
Have an illuminated focused Shabbos,
Gut Shabbos
Rabbi Yosef Katzman
