Weekly Parsha Post From Shazak

Rabbi Robbed At Roadside
As the respectable Rabbi Yaakov Isaacson was traveling towards Charan, he was attacked by his nephew, Elifaz Eisavson, who threatened to take his life.
“It was the son of my twin brother Eisav,” Rabbi Isaacson confirmed. “He wanted to kill me, but I offered him all my money, credit cards, even my Amazon username and password. Thank G-d I’m alive to tell the tale!”

Trickster Performs Bride Swap
The town of Charan gathered to celebrate the wedding of Rabbi Yaakov Isaacson, to Ms.Rachel Lavanovitch.
The next morning, the groom, who had worked seven years for his deceitful father-in-law, discovered that he had once again been tricked and had married Leah Lavanovitch, Rachel’s older sister.
“I am still in this for the long haul,” said the groom, who originally is from Canaan, “I am willing to work another 7 years to earn the right to marry Rachel.”

Peace at Last?
In a surprising turn of events, Mr. Lavan Lyer has agreed to a peace treaty between himself and his son-in-law, Rabbi Yaakov Isaacson. Yaakov and his sons erected a monument and an agreement was established. “There will be peace in our times!” Mr. Lyer proclaimed. “We will never cause each other harm.”
The monument has been dubbed by Mr. Lyer as “Yagar Sahadusa,” yet Rabbi Isaacson has been heard to refer to it as “Gal-Eid.” “They cannot even decide what to call it,” commented TNS political correspondent, Mr. Plony Almony. “Let’s see how long the peace will last.”

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