Weekly Story: For The Sake Of A Farbrengen

by Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon

Being that this week is Shabbos mevorchim chodesh Elul, and the minhag (custom) is to farbreng on a Shabbos mevorchim, I chose to relate the following story which I recently heard from Reb Shlomo Galperin in the name of Reb Mottel Kazliner. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Reb Pesach Molatovsker was a noted chossid of the Mitteler Rebbe and the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek. His greatness was in so many areas/aspects. His understanding of Chassidus concepts was phenomenal, and when he explained it, people came to grasp the great depths of his understanding. His davening was an inspiration to hear, extremely carefully pronouncing every word, you saw that he was contemplating on the meaning of the words with a deep inner fire, and in every aspect he exemplified the greatness of Chassidus.

He had a son, a good son, but one that could not be praised for excellence in any one of these aspects. Although he never expressed anything inferior, people assumed that Reb Pesach was somewhat disappointed in his son. They thought that deep inside as a parent he was probably hoping for something better.

One winter night the chassidim gathered to farbreng. Although it had begun to snow quite heavily the young and old kept coming and coming. Perhaps it was an important occasion, and the farbrengen was going strong and they ran out of mashke.

One of the chassidim took off his cas’ket (hat) and went around collecting the necessary amount of money as was always the tradition by a farbrengen

By now the snowstorm became a snow blizzard and it was very dangerous to venture outside. Besides the fact at such a late hour the stores were closed and that the blizzard was raging, everyone assumed that all the people that sold vodka we’re not going to be outside selling, it would be difficult to find mashkeh.

Normally in such circumstances that meant you would buy it on the black market or “under the table” for a higher price, but these dealers were probably staying safe in their homes. Seeing the hesitation to go out, Reb Pesach’s son got up, put on his fur boots, his heavy winter fur coat and hat, bundled up his face with a scarf and went out.

Going outside, he was momentarily blinded by the fierce wind and a blast of snow. Yes, he probably won’t be able to find the regular sellers as the balagoles (wagon drivers) and the janitors. So he decided to go to the night watchmen of the stores and factories to try his luck.

The walking was treacherous and slippery and he could not see a soul in the street. Finally he found a watchmen that was more than shocked to see someone venturing out in the blizzard trying to buy some vodka. He said:” I am sorry, but tonight there is nothing left, from my whole stash, as soon as the snow started falling everyone was ripping away the bottles from me at any price I would name I am very lucky to not sell the two last bottles, showing from the 2 caps sticking out of his inner pockets of his huge fur coat, you see for yourself what is doing around, the chill…. I need it to keep myself by taking a sip from time to time to survive the frost and the whiteout.

Reb Pesach’s son, asked in astonishment, “No vodka, that can’t be. We genuinely really need some.”

“I didn’t say I have no vodka, ” the guard replied, I said there is no vodka for sale. All I have is two bottles and every few minutes I take a sip to stay warm, or else I will freeze. But you can warm yourself in your house, so tonight this vodka is for myself only.

“Indeed, I need to get through the night, so you understand why I need the vodka. But why is it so urgent for your friends that they need some vodka to warm them up?
“Why do they need vodka,” he asked again, “They can warm themselves up by the stove/oven!”

In the roaring wind and swirling snow the Jewish young men patiently began to explain to the boor what a farbrengen is; People speak soul to soul, heart to heart and sometimes they open up and describe their own shortcomings or something that they should work on, and it goes easier when everyone is in a good mood, no one becomes insulted or takes it as a personal reprimand. That is how we are supporting ourselves trying to improve to be better humans and be closer to G-d. They can’t continue on without it!

It took a while as the watchman was thoughtfully listening and then suddenly gave him one of the bottles. Taking out the bag of collected money, he wanted to pay him, thanking him also for his kindness.

The guard dismissed it with a wave of his hand; you told me, people can’t continue without it, they will not be able to partake in such a wonderful gathering if they don’t have it. How in the world can I take money for something that I see is dear to you as life.

The young man took the bottle, placed it inside his coat and started walking back, hugging it with tremendous care. By now, the snow drifts were much higher and the wind was howling, his hands were holding on to the bottle, but ultimately he made it back.

There was so much snow by the front door, that he had a difficult time entering the house.

The people expressed relief as by now they feared for his life and safety, and the farbrengen livened up. But it was all worth just looking at Reb Pesach; his beaming face said it all. His appreciation and delight in his son was evident. The chassidishe bren was there, perhaps more than by others. He understood the extent one should go to in order to participate in a farbrengen. The amount and depth of Chassidus that a person learns and knows is not as beneficial, as his heart and actions are in sync with the ways of chassidim and that is what counts.

Concerning last weeks’ post, I was asked to clarify what I meant and spell it out.

I will begin with a thought that the Rebbe writes in Likkutei Sichos vol. 9., on last weeks parsha.

There he discusses some of the differences that we find in the second parsha of Shema that is written in parshas Eikev with what is written in the first parsha of Shema that is written in pashas Vu’eschanan.

Among the differences are in the first parsha when the Torah says v’shinantum livuneicha – And you shall teach it to your children, Rashi explains that children mean your students. However, in the second parsha when it says vilimaditehm oysum ess bineichem – and you shall teach it to your children, there it means your actual children.
With this we can understand why in the second parsha Rashi explains, you shall begin teaching your children as soon as they begin to speak. Whereas, when one teaches a student that is not the situation; only after the child or youngster can speak does a teacher teach him.

Then there is an interesting Rashi which explains the reason why the second parsha has to repeat the mitzvah of putting on tefillin and placing a mezuzah on the doorposts. Rashi says, this is to tell you even when one is in exile he shall do so.

Since Rashi informs us this, that means that without it being repeated in the second parsha one might think that those mitzvos don’t apply. [Just as many other mitzvos don’t apply because we are in exile. Not only do the halachos of sacrifices not apply since we don’t have the third Beis Hamikdash, but the Arizal says that the mitzvah of ticheilis (a blue string on ones tzitzis doesn’t apply until Moshiach comes (even though it is believed that we now know what the tichelis is).]

Therefore the Torah has to tell us otherwise, that these mitzvos do apply.

With this introduction I will explain what I was referring to.

We all realize that our children attention span is different than what used to be. Is it because they are used to screens or some other reason is not the place for this discussion. Suffice to say that it is different.

The million dollar question is what is the solution to this?

Many educators believe that we should postpone their learning of the Aleph Beis and Kriah. When I went to school there was no such thing as Pre1a, now it is basically universal.

The benefit for this is that it is a transition from just playtime to becoming accustomed to sitting in a class and paying attention etc. The flip side is that for many children it is just reviewing what they already learned and cooling off their otherwise thirst and enthusiasm for school.

I am not or ever was a pre1a teacher and I don’t know what the proper balance is. As in everything, there are various opinions and methods. But especially in golus, the need is to start as soon as the child begins speaking and learning and not postponing it.

The question I was bringing up and the discussion I was hoping it would generate was is not, “what do the experts says” but rather who are the experts we should turn to.
Simply put, the first criteria must be that this expert demonstrated that it was successful in a mossad chinuch. Just because educators who mean well profess a certain method, doesn’t mean that it applies to chinuch and especially a chassidishe chinuch. Chinuch is not merely teaching knowledge, it is giving over a way of life!

Furthermore, just because it worked in a certain setting, doesn’t mean it would work in a different setting. Simply put if it works in a school that there are 10 to 14 students in a classroom with an assistant, as is found in many schools out of town, doesn’t mean that it would work in a classroom where there are over twenty-five children or student in the class. And there are so many other variations to take into consideration.

In the summer of 5739 (1979), I was a counselor in Machne Mordechai, a camp that Rabbi JJ Hecht established that year, for the Iranian students.

The question came up, what is our goal with them. Where should they learn the following year? A group of counselors approached Rabbi Sholom Ber Hecht and asked that he put this question in our name to the Rebbe.

The Rebbe’s reply was one cannot give a single rule for such a question. Each student should be evaluated by his counselor and or learning teacher, those who know the student the best and they should decide what is in the best interest of that student.

Based on that I together with Rabbi Shaya Berkowitz chose a group of boys that were from Shiraz and Esfhahan and we opened a special class for them in Ocean Parkway, and a few months later sent them to learn in Ohr Elchanon Chabad in Los Angeles. Most of that group remained frum and many of them are chassidishe yungeleit.

Or take my biography series on the Rebbeim for an example: Some high schools use them as part of their curriculum. But that is only if the school is catered to Lubavitch families, if it is catered to the community at large, I wouldn’t advise that it be mandatory reading. After all it is a different situation.

So while it is extremely important for these seminars to take place, and many teachers benefit from it, we have to ascertain by discussing it with a Rov which methology should be proposed and it should be spelled out in what situation it was applied, then the mechanech or mechaneches can see if it fits their situation.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Hashem should help that everyone is matzliach in their avodas hakodesh.

This weeks post is lzechus the complete and immediate refuah of my sister Chaya rivkah bas Cheyena and all cholei Yisroel.

Rabbi Avtzon is a veteran mechanech and the author of numerous books on the Rebbeim and their chassidim. He can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com