Weekly Story: A Chossid Makes An Environment

by Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon

This coming Friday, the 27th of Sivan is the (34th) yahrzeit of my mother, Rebbetzin Cheyena Avtzon. Since that is also the week before Gimmel Tammuz, I chose to write a tribute about her life this week, and next week something for Gimmel Tammuz.

However, it is not just about her, it is living example of how an individual can have a positive impact on an entire community, and we as chassidim are instructed to be Lamplighters and Create an environment. Let that be our present to the Rebbe.

The Rebbe writes in Hayom Yom (entry for the 30th of Adar 1), “A chossid makes an environment,” and that aptly describes my mother throughout her life.

My mother was the oldest child of Reb Leibel and Aidella Karasik. When she was around six years old, her father was imprisoned and exiled to Siberia for three years. His crime was that when the Russian authorities noticed at the border in Tishrei of 5688 (1927) that the Frierdiker Rebbe had packed up seforim that he was informed that he had to leave in Russia, they were therefore considering rescinding the exit permission granted. So he (and two other chassidim) took responsibility of packing those seforim saying that they did it on their own, after the Rebbe told them that he cannot take them along with him.

She went to school and excelled in math. Yet not one Shabbos did she write anything in class. Either she disappeared for the day, (by hiding in the basement of a neighbor, Reb Getzel Rubashkin) or having her hands bandaged. Yes, she acted as if she was clumsy and her hands would constantly need to be bandaged or even in a sling. But this way she persevered in Shmiras Shabbos. This is in addition to the fact that she had to walk quite a few miles to the school, as she went to a school where they weren’t aware that her father was the rabbi of the community.

After her petira, we were told by her peers that grew up in Russia, our parents would always tell us, “Look at Leibke’s daughters. They are strong in their yiddishkeit, even though their father was in prison, so you can be strong as well.”

During, the six years my parents were in Paris, although she was blessed with a nice size family, and my father was away for many months fundraising for the yeshiva, many of the other survivors looked up to her for strength in general and especially in their emunah. Although, she was younger than many of them, her wisdom and kindness was appreciated by them for years to come.

A short while after settling in Detroit, she was extremely sick and the doctor told her, you are fortunate to have been blessed with six children, you cannot have any more. When she became pregnant some months later, he informed her that he is going to terminate the pregnancy. Although she was a recent immigrant she informed the doctor that she will not allow that to happen and when she informed the Rebbe of this, the Rebbe blessed her to have many other children.

Reb Shimon Lazaroff once told me, (in the 1980’s), now it is common for chassidishe families in America to have large families, but your parents did it when it wasn’t popular. They made it popular.

Her chessed and hachnasos orchim in Detroit was exemplary. One by one she encouraged families and individuals, married and single, to become more meticulous, one mitzvah at a time.

There was a neighbor from a very distinguished Litvish family, who lost his father in his youth and when he joined the Israeli army, became less observant. After his marriage he settled in Detroit and had seven children in nine years. They were living a frum lifestyle of a typical Young Israel Jew and registered all their children in the yeshiva. Over a period of time the husband began feeling that their children should have a similar chinuch as his. When he informed this to his wife and stated that he would like to be more mehuder in all mitzvos, she felt he was going too fast.

She agreed that they should continue raising their children in accordance to Torah and mitzvos, but she personally felt that modern orthodox is proper, and she can’t commit to more than what they are doing presently. So with broken hearts they divorced for the sake of chinuch of their children. However, he was worried if and how he will succeed on his own; who will help him raise the children? The biggest problem would be, who will be there for them the few hours after school, until he comes home from his work?

My mother told him, ….don’t worry, we will see that it works out, let the children come to my house until you return from work. I will keep an eye on them. I already prepare a large supper, so the pot will be filled up a little more.

He protested saying, you have boruch Hashem your own children, in addition to helping out with other children in the neighborhood. It is too much to ask of you.

My mother replied, … when there is room in the heart there is room in the house. About taking care of the children, it will make my job easier as they can do their homework with my children.

However, he was still hesitant saying, I am afraid that your husband will turn them into chassidim.

My father, said … you have nothing to be fearful of, most days by the time I come home you are already home, so they will be with you. On Shabbos they are with you, and the stories I will tell them, I know some stories of tzaddikim that predate the time of Chassidim. That should be your only worry, that they will get an extra dose of yiras shomayim.

Boruch Hashem this arrangement worked out for many years, guiding them through different stages and skills. Each and every one of those children are wonderful ehrliche Jews, some are Rabbonim and mechanchim, role models in their communities.

Being that they hung around the house, many other of the youth in the neighborhood would also join the “club”. Some of them later said, only because of your mother did I remain frum. My parents were too European for me and I thought yiddishkeit and America clashes. But your mother was as frum as they were, but she understood us American children, with all of our American meshigasin and she demonstrated that it is not a contradiction.
Then there is the entire Russian Jewish community in Detroit that she helped them not only in giving them the opportunity to have a bris milah, and obtain mezuzos, but help them find apartments and settle down. Though her ongoing relationship, she was able to enroll those who desired that their children go to the yeshiva, but had difficulty in paying tuition for almost nothing.

Yes, she made an environment.

A year after her petirah the Detroit community felt it their obligation to acknowledge her tremendous contribution to the community, especially as it came to the delicate topic of convincing American ladies about taharas hamishpacha, and ultimately spearheading the building of a beautiful mikva in the 60’s, and they placed a plaque in the mikva to honor her. As I noted in last year’s tribute, the Rebbe gave her continuous guidance and brochos in this endeavor.

Although the community was and remained Litvish, and knew that she was a proud Lubavitcher, they respected her and accepted her as part of their community. They encouraged their children to help her with her activities on behalf of Russian Jewry and additional aspects, because Rebbetzin Avtzon is encouraging Yiddishkeit. She made the environment. It was an environment of truth and understanding, one that everyone felt comfortable to join and participate in.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Rabbi Avtzon is a veteran mechanech and the author of numerous books on the Rebbeim and their chassidim. He can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com

This week’s story is l’zechus a complete and speedy recovery for my sister Chaya Rivkah bas Cheyena among all cholei yisroel.