Weekly Story: The Rebbe Rashab’s Bar Mitzvah
by Sholom DovBer Avtzon
In honor of Chof Cheshvan, the 159th birthday of the Rebbe Rashab, it is my honor to present the story of his bar mitzvah. I hope you find it both informative and enjoyable.
This chapter is an excerpt from the forthcoming Volume 5 of The Rebbeim Biography Series: The Rebbe Rashab, which I am in the midst of writing and preparing for print.
B’ezras Hashem over thirty chapters have been written, comprising more than 350 pages. A few of the chapters (such as the present one) have also gone through the first round of editing. However, numerous chapters remain that still need to be written, and even some of the written chapters are not complete, as I am trying to ascertain additional information and facts. It definitely will be over 500 pages.
I hope, b’ezras Hashem, to complete the writing in honor of Beis Nissan, marking the centennial year since the Rebbe Rashab’s histalkus, on Beis Nissan 5680 (1920). However, I don’t have the resources to cover the additional expenses of editing, etc.
So I turn to all of you and ask of you to please participate in this monumental project of presenting the life story of the Rebbe Rashab and all of the Rebbeim to our children and those who cannot understand loshon hakodesh. Please partner in this endeavor with a sponsorship/hakdoshah and help this become a reality.
I can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com or at 646-235-7104
When Sholom DovBer turned eleven, his father said to him, “I will now relate to you what my father [the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek] told me: ‘To attain the shleimus (the highest spiritual level) of eleven years, one begins putting on tefillin. However, this should be done in secrecy, so that no one will have any notion that you are doing so.’”[1]
In Beis HaRav, the custom was that all the sons would memorize all six (sedorim) sections of Mishnayos before their bar mitzvah. Sholom DovBer completed this feat by his twelfth birthday. His son, the Frierdiker Rebbe, related what transpired in honor of this momentous occasion.
For Shabbos Parshas Vayeira, 5633/1872 (which happened to be the 20th of MarCheshvan, Sholom DovBer’s twelfth birthday), a large amount of chassidim came to Lubavitch. On Sunday, the Rebbe Maharash instructed his gabbai, Reb Levik, “Despite the usual schedule, today I will not be accepting anyone for yechidus. Instead you should call the following three venerable chassidim into my room: Reb Zalman Zlatapolsky of Kremenchuk, Reb Zalman Neimark of Polotzk,[2] and Reb Leib of Nevel. Make sure I will not be disturbed,” the Rebbe concluded.
When they entered, they noticed that the Rebbe’s son was also present. The Rebbe instructed to light the six candelabras in the room, which each had twelve lights. The Rebbe then informed them that today was a special, joyous day for him, saying, “My son the Rashab has concluded learning the entire Mishnayos by heart!”[3]
The Rebbe continued:
“The Baal Shem Tov wanted those who are close to him (i.e., his family) to know the entire Tehillim by heart; the Maggid added that those close to him should also learn the song of Haazinu by heart; while the Alter Rebbe instituted that in addition to the above, his children should learn the entire Mishnayos verbatim by the time of their bar mitzvah.”
The Rebbe Maharash then said a maamar Chassidus before them, expounding on the final mishnah of Mishnayos.[4] In the maamar, the Rebbe explained why the mishnah quotes the saying of Reb Yehoshua ben Levi before the saying of Reb Shimon ben Chalafta, who was much older than him.[5]
He then proceeded to relate numerous stories about the Alter Rebbe, the Mitteler Rebbe, the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek, and himself. These stories demonstrated the spiritual power of knowing Mishnayos verbatim, and how this allows the light of the neshomah to shine.[6]
After the Rebbe finished speaking, the three chassidim left. The young boy thought that he, too, should leave. However, his father the Rebbe instructed him to remain. In the privacy of his room, he proceeded to explain to him the inner meaning of the last tractate of Mishnayos, Maseches Uktzin:
“The final seder of Mishnayos is Taharos (purity), and it concludes with Tractate Uktzin (stems).[7]
“One should know that through studying and repeating Mishnayos, one attains a level of purity. However, one must know that even the best fruits have stems [which are inedible and are not beneficial for people. In other words, even someone who has reached a high level of purity may still possess some unwanted elements.] So the first three chapters of Uktzim discuss how to deal with these ‘stems.’
“But then, once a person has succeeded in removing these undesirable characteristics, he might feel a taste of sweetness [and happiness, knowing that he finally achieved this level. This is why] the second-to-last mishnah speaks about honey. [One must know that] sweetness and sourdough — namely, self-importance and depression — are both forbidden when it comes to one’s connection to Hashem.”[8]
In the year before his bar mitzvah, the Rashab entered his father’s room for a yechidus.[9] He asked, “How does one learn in such a way that it is truly considered as if he has learned?”
The Rebbe Maharash answered:
“The possuk states,[10] ‘Veshinantom levonecho’ (and you shall teach them [the words of the Torah] to your children). [Why does the Torah use the word veshinanatom, instead of the usual word velimaditem, which it uses in the second parshah of Shema?] Rashi explains that the root of this word is shinun, which means ‘sharp’ and ‘to the point.’ This means that whatever you learn should be extremely clear to you. This is also brought out from in the word livonecha, which is related to the word libun, which means ‘lucid’ and ‘shining.’ [This means that whatever you learn should be extremely clear to you.]
“The possuk continues, ‘vedibarta bom’ (and you shall speak of them [the words of Torah]), informing us that [the words of Torah] should be brought into our lives.[11] ‘Beshivtecha beveisecha’ (when you sit in your house) means that this should be felt as long as our neshomah is found on this earth [our ‘house,’ meaning that the Torah should become an integral part of our lives.] ‘Uveshochbecha uvikumecha’ (when you lie and when you arise) means that the benefit of learning Torah will mainly be felt in the era of techiyas hameisim, [when all those who passed away will arise].”
The Rebbe Maharash continued:
“The Gemora instructs us,[12] ‘A person should divide his studies into three: a third in Chumash, a third in Mishnah, and a third in Gemora.’ The inner meaning of this teaching of our sages is as follows: The first step in a person’s learning is to arouse the love for Hashem that is found within every Jew, often hidden in the depths of their heart — the ahavah mesuteres.[13] After that has been accomplished, the next step is to change himself [in thought, speech, and action], and to act according to the teachings of the Torah.[14]
“The third step is in Gemora, which can also mean ‘completion.’[15] This teaches us that we should strivebto make our vessels complete and effective vessels. Once that is accomplished, our learning will be properly.
Years later, the Rebbe Rashab repeated these words of this yechidus to his son, Rav Yosef Yitzchok, the future Frierdiker Rebbe. He then related:
“When I heard those words, I resolved to study the section of Shulchan Aruch that deals with day-to-day life, with an emphasis on the laws that pertain to one’s body, such as washing the hands and so on. I learned these laws to the extent that my body acted on its own in accordance with halachah.[16] This is similar to what is mentioned in Gemora[17] that a person can train himself to such an extent that he automatically bows down at Modim (in Shemoneh Esrei), without even thinking about it. It was only after I accomplished that, did I became an ish (a man).”[18]
His son, the Frierdiker Rebbe, noted that Shulchan Aruch does not only refer to the Code of Jewish Law. In essence, a maamar Chassidus is also a “Shulchan Aruch,” guiding us in our personal, spiritual journey in avodas hatefillah (davening) and improving our character. “So when my father said that he trained his body to act according to Shulchan Aruch,” the Frierdiker Rebbe explained, “it also meant that when learning a maamar, he would put a tremendous emphasis on the moral of the maamar, making sure it would result in an actual change in refining his character.”
As a preparation for his bar mitzvah, his father, the Rebbe Maharash, taught him the Tanya.[19] In addition, he related to him certain aspects regarding how the Alter Rebbe wrote it.[20]
The Rashab began reviewing his father’s maamorim by heart before his bar mitzvah. The first maamar he reviewed was the maamar Kamah maalos tovos, which was said by his father the Rebbe on Shabbos Hagadol 5633.[21]
During the seder on the Pesach before his bar mitzvah, the Rebbe Maharash said to him, “Come and hear how my father [i.e., the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek] says the haggadah in Heaven.” The Rebbe and his son listened, and they understood it![22]
When he became bar mitzvah, his father the Rebbe blessed him that he should succeed in attaining the higher level of adam.[23]
The bar mitzvah festivities began a week before the Rashab’s actual birthday, on Tuesday, the 13th of Cheshvan. The Rebbe Maharash called the bar mitzvah boy and his older brother, the Raza, and said, “Your bar mitzvah will be next week. Travel to my brother [HaRav Chaim Schneur Zalman] in Liadi and receive his brochah/blessing. I am certain he will say a maamar in honor of the occasion. You will spend the night in Liadi and return tomorrow before nightfall.”
The Rashab and his brother, accompanied by two of his father’s gabba’im, traveled there[24] in their father’s large carriage, which was harnessed to four horses. The Rebbe also instructed twelve of the young men who were then learning in Lubavitch[25] to travel with them in two additional coaches. HaRav Chaim Schneur Zalman indeed said Chassidus and blessed the Rashab on the occasion of his upcoming bar mitzvah.
Rebbetzin Rivkah related that before the Rashab’s bar mitzvah, she asked her husband the Rebbe whether their son should be given a gartel to wear [for davening].[26] The Rebbe Maharash replied, “[Yes], that is a proper thing,” and a short time later, he proceeded to give him one.[27]
On the day of the Rashab’s bar mitzvah, the Rebbe Maharash said to him, “I am now instructing you to ask me any question you desire, just as my father instructed me at my bar mitzvah.”[28]
During the bar mitzvah seudah, Reb Sholom DovBer recited the maamar Isa b’midrash tehillim,[29] which his father had taught him and instructed him to recite. The Rebbe Maharash then told him that would be giving him the manuscript he had written of that maamar as a present for him to keep.[30]
The Rebbe Maharash then said the maamar Chagor charbicha al yarech gibor — “Gird your sword upon the thigh of a mighty warrior,”[31] and he related:
“This maamar was said by the Alter Rebbe at the bar mitzvah of my father, the Rebbe [the Tzemach Tzedek]. My father said it at my bar mitzvah and added, ‘I was told by my grandfather, the [Alter] Rebbe, to wear a gartel of silk, but you will need to wear a gartel of leather.’” Looking at his son, the Rebbe Maharash continued, “And you will need to wear a gartel of iron.”[32]
The Rebbe Maharash wasn’t referring to a literal gartel; he was alluding to the fact that during the Rashab’s years as Rebbe, the communal state of affairs would require of him a level of mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice) that exceeded what was required in his times. By informing him that he would require even greater mesiras nefesh, he was foretelling that he would endure some exceptionally challenging and difficult situations.
At that time, Reb Sholom DovBer also began wearing a silk sirtuk (kapote).[33]
Sometime during the meal, the Rebbe Maharash gave his son a cup of mashke and instructed him to say L’chaim. Some of the participants protested, saying that he was only a young boy. “I am giving him mashke,” the Rebbe responded, “so that he should stop being a child.”[34]
The Rebbe Maharash then explained the thought expressed in the niggun nie zhuritzi chluptzi.[35]
The Rebbe Maharash also related some stories during the meal. One of them was something he had heard from the elder chossid Reb Yitzchok Aizik of Vitebsk during the year of his own bar mitzvah. The Rebbe Maharash stated, “Today [twenty-seven years later], I still feel the awe that Reb Yitzchok Aizik displayed when he repeated to me the brochah he had received from the Alter Rebbe. At that time, fulfilling the request of my father, the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek, he blessed me.”[36]
After the bar mitzvah of each of his sons, the Rebbe Maharash no longer called them by their name alone; rather, he was particular that they be called by their roshei teivos (e.g., “the Rashab,” “the Raza”).[37]
[1] Sefer HaSichos 5710, p. 398.
It should be noted this practice is limited exclusively to members of Beis HaRav, and within Beis HaRav itself, only to the son who is destined to become the successor. Our custom is to begin putting on tefillin two months before the bar mitzvah.
[2] For more about Reb Zalman Neimark, see The Rebbeim Biography Series: The Rebbe Maharash, pp. 299–322.
[3] They did not know that the day before, on Shabbos, the Rashab had turned twelve. Additionally, at that time it was not common practice to celebrate one’s birthday, so even if they would have known that it was his birthday, it wouldn’t have had any significance for them.
[4] Uktzim, ch. 3, mishnah 12. The mishnah begins with a statement of Reb Yehoshua ben Levi, that Hashem will reward every righteous person with three hundred and ten worlds. This is followed by a statement of Reb Shimon ben Chalafta, that peace is the best vessel to receive Hashem’s blessings.
[5] In short, the explanation is as follows: The main point of the mishnah is to inform us of the reward that will be given to us when Moshiach comes (as stated by Reb Yehoshua ben Levi). The Mishnah then continues: How will we receive that reward? Through peace (as stated by Reb Shimon ben Chalafta), which includes making peace between the G-dly soul and the animal soul.
[6] The story about the Alter Rebbe was as follows:
The Alter Rebbe’s son Reb Moshe was born in Tammuz of 5539 (1779). The Alter Rebbe was always punctual with the time of his davening, so by seven in the morning, all of the assembled for the bris had already davened shacharis. However, to their bewilderment, the bris did not begin. An hour and then two hours passed, but the Alter Rebbe still remained in his room.
As midday arrived and passed, the chassidim were completely baffled. They could not understand what was causing this delay.
Suddenly, in the midafternoon, a Jew dressed in white arrived. Although it was in the heat of summer, he was wearing a fur winter coat, with a sack slung over his shoulder. The Alter Rebbe greeted him warmly, and the bris began.
The newcomer was honored to place the child on the seat of Eliyahu Hanavi. He was also asked to dip his finger into the cup of wine and give a drop to the baby when the words bidamayich chayi were recited.
After the bris, some of the assembled approached him. After greeting him, they inquired who he was. “I am Betzalel the shepherd,” he replied simply. That night he left Liozna, and no one knew where he went.
The following day, the Alter Rebbe was asked who this Betzalel was. He replied:
“For the past forty years, he has been a shepherd in the vicinity of Shvintzian. He is thoroughly knowledgeable in both Talmud Bavli and Talmud Yerushalmi, as well as the Rambam, Sifri, Sifra, and Tosefta.
“However,” the Alter Rebbe concluded, “the light of his neshomah shines in him because of the Mishnayos which he repeats verbatim. This is because the word mishnah (משנה) is made up of the same four letters as the word neshomah (נשמה).”
[7] Maseches Uktzin deals with the laws of purity and impurity as they apply to the stems and other outer parts of fruits and vegetables.
[8] Sefer HaSichos 5704, pp. 148–151.
[9] The Rashab would speak to his father daily and receive guidance and instructions from him. However, this time he went to him not as a son for the purpose of conversation, but as a chossid in yechidus.
[10] Devorim 6:7.
[11] How do we see this in the words ודברת בם?
[12] Kiddushin 30a.
[13] Chazal refer here to Chumash as “mikra,” which is related to the word kriah, to call or arouse.
[14] The word Mishnah is similar to the word shinui, which means “change.”
[15] Gemora is similar to the word gmar, which means “completion.”
[16] Chassidim relate that while it is halachically sufficient to wash one’s hands for bread by pouring water on each hand twice (Seder Netillas Yodayim L’Seudah par. 2), the Rebbe Rashab would wash each hand three times. Someone once noticed the Rebbe’s conduct. “What is the source for this in halachah?” he asked. “I was taught that it is enough to wash each hand twice!”
“I don’t remember the source offhand,” the Rebbe replied. “However, since I wash each hand three times and my body was trained to act according to Shulchan Aruch, there is surely a source for this practice!”
Later, he looked up the subject and informed him that this conduct is based on the opinion of the Hagahos Ashri (see Hayom Yom, entry for 20 Shevat).
[17] Yerushalmi, Brachos 2:4.
[18] Chanoch Lenaar, p. 9. Sefer HaMaamorim 5711, p. 246.
[19] Reb Zalman Zlatapolsky was one of the outstanding and eminent chassidim of the Rebbe Maharash. He related that two months before the bar mitzvah, the Rebbe Maharash told him in the presence of his son, the Rashab, that the Rashab complained to his mother Rebbetzin Rivkah. He asked, “Why did Tatty learn much more Chassidus with my older brother, Reb Zalman Aharon, before his bar mitzvah than he is learning with me?”
The Rebbe Maharash concluded, “The truth is that I think about him no less than I thought about his older brother” (Otzar Sippurei Chabad, vol. 18, p. 77).
[20] Likkutei Dibburim, vol. 1, p. 86–88.
[21] Sefer HaSichos 5698, p. 266. There it notes that he reviewed the maamar in private for his father, the Rebbe. However, it is not noted when he began reviewing his father’s maamorim publically. The following year, when he was only fourteen years old, he began transcribing them as well. His first transcription (which we know of) is of the maamar Adam ki yihiyeh b’or bisoroi of 5635.
[22] Reshimas Hayoman, p. 372.
[23] Chassidus explains that the Torah uses four different words to describe a man: adam, ish, enosh, and gever.
Adam refers to intellectual advancement, while ish refers to one’s emotional state. Gever describes a person who is strong in one of the above areas, while enosh alludes to one who is weak in one of them (see Hayom Yom, entry for 4 Elul).
[24] This was the first time the Rashab traveled out of Lubavitch without his parents.
[25] Author’s note: With each of the Rebbeim, young newlywed men would spend time learning in the Rebbe’s vicinity. However, this system did not constitute an established yeshiva, and each person would come and leave as he chose.
[26] Author’s note: I added the words for davening, as when the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek gave a gartel to his son the Rebbe Maharash in honor of his bar mitzvah, he told him to wear it for davening.
[27] It was the custom of the Rebbeim that on the day of their son’s bar mitzvah, they would give the boy’s melamed a tip of ten silver rubles. The morning of the Rashab’s bar mitzvah, the Rebbe Maharash gave a tip to the melamed Reb Pesach, who happened to also have been his own melamed before his bar mitzvah. At that time, he mentioned that he had given the bar mitzvah boy a gartel.
Reb Pesach then noted that he remembered how the Rebbe the Tzemach Tzedek had given the Rebbe [Maharash] a gartel at his bar mitzvah. Reb Pesach continued, “At that time your father, the Rebbe, said the possuk ‘Chogroh b’oz mosnehah’ (she girded her loins with strength — Mishlei 31:17).”
“At the bar mitzvah of the Raza,” Reb Pesach continued, “I didn’t want to mention anything [i.e., I didn’t want to ask why you did not give him a gartel]. However, now that the Rebbe is discussing the gartel, may I ask: What is the difference? [I.e., why did you given him and not his older brother?]”
“Pesach,” the Rebbe Maharash replied, “with the Rebbeim, one doesn’t ask [for an explanation]. Similarly, one doesn’t ask others to explain the actions of the Rebbeim. Those who understand, understand, and those who don’t understand, don’t understand” (Reshimas Hayoman, p. 190).
See The Rebbeim Biography Series: The Rebbe Maharash, pp. 71-73, for a similar incident with the bar mitzvah of the Rebbe Maharash. There we noted that the Rebbe Maharash also informed his son that on the night before his own bar mitzvah, he learned with his father throughout the night, sleeping only two hours. He also told him about the three maamorim his father said in honor of the bar mitzvah (Sefer HaToldos of the Rebbe Maharash, p. 32).
[28] Sefer HaSichos 5700, pp. 156–157. However, there is no indication what was the question he asked.
[29] Nowadays it is the custom in Lubavitch that every bar mitzvah boy recites this maamar.
[30] Unlike what he did by the Raza, when after the bar mitzvah he asked him to return the manuscript of the maamar he gave him. The Frierdiker Rebbe notes (reshimas hayouman p. 189), that when you look in hindsight, one can see how each maamar was appropriate to each one’s life.
Author’s note: Perhaps this was one more sign to them as to which one will be his successor and keeper of the manuscripts.
[31] Tehillim 45:4.
[32] Sefer HaSichos 5696, p. 114.
[33] The children of the Rebbe Maharash began wearing a shtreimel from the time of their wedding, while the Maharash and his brothers began wearing a shtreimel at the time of their bar mitzvah (Reshimas Hayoman, p. 189).
[34] The Rebbe Rashab related this during a farbrengen on Chof-Daled Teves, 5663 (twenty-nine years later). He then explained that there are three reasons why chassidim drink mashke: (1) It is a mitzvah to bring something of your own; (2) before an animal was shechted as a korbon, it was given something to drink; and (3) the drink should go to the proper place.
Author’s note: I heard that they are not three separate reasons, but rather three stages.
The mashpia speaks to inspire those who are participating in the farbrengen. However, just like by a real sacrifice, although the fire came from heaven, there was a commandment to create our own fire. Similarly, the person has to demonstrate that he is open for guidance and constructive criticism, and this is accomplished by taking a drink of mashke.
But there is a possibility that the person might feel insulted or hurt by what is said. This is where the second stage comes in. A korbon is given a drink before it is slaughtered, which helps later to separate the skin from the body. Similarly, if one drinks a little, he won’t take the words as a personal affront, and it will help him shed some of his coarseness.
The third stage is a continuation of this point. Drinking mashke allows the words to penetrate the right emotions, so that he should be objective. He will then see the truth in the words, and they will succeed in their purpose.
Needless to say, mashke is not a drink to take lightly, and it should only be used for such purposes of elevating oneself.
[35] Sefer HaSichos 5705, p. 57.
[36] Sefer HaMaaamorim 5709, p. 207.
[37] Once, the venerable chossid Reb Dovid Tzvi Chein (commonly known as the Radatz) said, “Let us go to hear Reb Sholom DovBer review the maamar [that the Rebbe Maharash said].” The Rebbe Maharash rebuked him strongly for not calling him “the Rashab” (Reshimas Hayoman, p. 190).
