Blog: Celebrating My 30th

Do numbers really count?
Do they define you, mock you, scare you?
Do numbers provide focus, gratitude, direction?

I think so.

Last night, on my 30th, my husband Avi and I held that discussion. As one who constantly tells people, “Oh, numbers don’t really matter, it’s your spirit, being young at heart…” and so on, irony holds it that I, the number-denier, for once in my life care about a number. I give it my fully certified validity.

I am very grateful for the past thirty years. Every decade has held exponential growth and the experiences which were part of my life, the people I met, the places I’ve been, the things I have studied and learned – they all molded me into the thirty year old person that I am now.

Leaving my twenties, and kissing my youth good-bye should have some kind of wild celebration as whatever remnant of teenagehood that were morphed into the twenties really has to dissolve. I really embraced my 20s, I loved almost every moment and life-changing event. I traveled. I formed my deepest passions. I chose my direction in life. I got married. I moved to Brooklyn. I got my first SLR. I adventured with Avi.I moved to Jersey to start a community.I found creative outlets. I had twins. I met a lot of incredible people. I learned a lot. I had more children. I discovered the truest most infinite joy of motherhood. I navigated through challenges and pain. I experienced miracles. I said good-bye to three of my grandparents. I overcame fears. I made mistakes. I set lifelong goals. I set my priorities. I started drinking coffee. I did a lot. I loved being twenty.

Two weeks ago, 9 days before my birthday, my thoughts directed me to my upcoming “number” and the start of a new decade, And no wild good-bye-20s party crossed my mind which I guess is a testament to a need for vacation and some chilling. Yet. I felt a need to do something and I very deeply wanted to do something that would reflect my vision for the coming years, something that would exhibit my beliefs, something meaningful.

I was born on Shabbos, a day of peace and light. I am a deep thinker and a passionate idealist. I am a Jewish woman. I am a feminist.  I strongly believe in the G-d given power of Jewish women at large and admire the responsibilities endowed to us for who we are at the core. We are the foundation of our families and ensure Jewish continuity. I believe that every person has a flame so strong that makes us who we are, that connects us to another, no matter our superficial differences. I believe so strongly in every person’s inner beauty, individual talents, and strengths – I think we can make this world a better place and fill it up with a tremendous light.

Lighting Shabbos candles with my family and friends epitomize my ideals which is very much inspired by the Rebbe of Lubavitch, the leader of Chabad, who encouraged women worldwide to take a moment every Friday night as sundown approached and light Shabbos candles. It is a time of personal reflection and a time for prayer. Candle lighting holds a special magic in our home as the weekly chaos metamorphoses into peace. I love to envision the simultaneous and continuous chain of women throughout the world lighting Shabbos candles. It is so powerfully binding, presently and historically.

I made it my goal to light Shabbos candles with thirty other girls and women in my community on my birthday. I am so touched by the 30+ girls and women in my community who stopped everything they were doing, took time away from their hectic family schedules, and partook in something that means so much to me. You all helped me embrace being thirty in the most meaningful way. I am so grateful. Thank you.

A special thank-you to my mother for raising me and giving me the tools, confidence, and support system from the very day I was born some thirty years back. I am so happy you were with me to celebrate!

Mina Richler blogs at http://www.outnmbrd421.blogspot.com/