Not Perfect, But I Won’t Let That Discourage Me…

A High-Priest. A South American Indian. Your average guy with a pencil behind his ear…

What do YOU aspire to be?

And this isn’t just one of those “What do you want to be when/if you grow up?” types of questions…

What do you want for yourself in life? What are your ideal circumstances? What goals do you set for yourself?

We all have our own answers to the above questions. We each have our own particular goals we establish for ourselves, that we hope to reach in the course of time. We make plans, resolutions, assume different tasks and undertakings, decide which particular things to accomplish, and envision and shape for ourselves specific models of perfection we resolve to do our utmost to fit. We each develop our own definitions of what exactly constitutes success or achievement in our lives.

And it’s a beautiful thing. Noble. Ideal. Visionary.

And hopefully things will work out…

But the unfortunate reality is that these kinds of things don’t always turn out the way we’d like.

We’ll often find ourselves confronting various obstacles in our paths and difficulties along the way; and most often we let them get the better of us…
We become annoyed and frustrated. We get aggravated. We pull out (whatever’s left of) our hair. We destroy Styrofoam cups for absolutely no reason. Etc.
I’m sure you know the drill…

We form in our minds what we consider to be objective models of perfection, in whatever area it may be; but what usually happens is, that in our occasional inability to reach those specific goals – for whatever reason – we dub the project as a failure, and pretty much drop the entire thing.

And we can sometimes become so determined, and develop such a high level of expectation, that once we encounter obstacles that weren’t part of our original game-plan – which threaten to compromise our visions of perfection – the frustrations created from failure to meet those expectations only serves to discourage us and make those goals seem further and further away.

We can build up such dependence, and attribute such value to those objectives and goals, that when things get in the way to compromise that – sure we’ll fight it – but when it seems too tough and unrealistic, and the odds seem to be against us – the seeming futility of the battle can be very disheartening. Our lives don’t seem to be working out the way we want them to; and that hurts…

There’s a Talmudic maxim/dictum-type thingy that goes: “A person should always be soft like a reed, and not hard like a cedar.”

Isn’t that nice?
What does it mean?

Maybe it goes something like this:
Sometimes, storms will approach and the winds will blow with all their force and threaten to destroy everything in their path. The cedar, standing tall and firm in all its glory, won’t stand a chance; the raging winds will snap it and send it crashing down. The flexible reed, however, will allow itself to be blown to and fro; flowing with the winds, bending with them… and when the winds subside, the once proud cedar is nothing more than a pile of fire-wood. The reed however, remains just as before, in its simplistic, resilient – and now triumphant – state.

In our lives, we will always be confronted with obstacles and challenges which may temporarily throw us off track.

If we choose to stay stubbornly still and refuse to tolerate any sort of changes to the “grand” game-plan, or insist on making our attainment of satisfaction and sense of fulfillment in life dependant on reaching particular ideal states of perfection — when we face those adversities which are beyond our ability control – if we can’t learn to tolerate them – we’ll snap; everything will come crashing down… (aka Tohu / Esau)

I’m sure you can see why that might be a problem…

But if we can learn to bend with the winds, and allow ourselves to tolerate what may come – despite the momentary inconvenience, then when the storm subsides, we’ll still be able to continue on our journey with the same resilience as before.

We all have our goals and aspirations; and though there are obviously certain places we need to get, we can’t let fulfillment of those aspirations be the end-all in how we see ourselves in terms of inner perfection and fulfillment in life
True perfection and wholeness in life isn’t an objective, static goal you reach, but a dynamic, ongoing process in how we choose to conduct our lives, despite whatever obstacles we encounter.

The Chassid R’ Velvele Villenker once said: “A ‘Misnagid’ is a portrait – as today, so too tomorrow; a Chassid climbs in and out – but ultimately, he climbs out.”

Perfection and accomplishment in life isn’t a plateau we strive to reach to sit on the top and have a picnic – and anything other than that perfect picnic is just a plain party-pooper. Wholeness in life is a constant journey; one in which there will be obstacles and road-blocks along the way. And if we stubbornly set our sights on one particular path to our destination, and refuse to allow ourselves to move on in spite of the various complications – we probably won’t end up getting very far at all.

We must learn to find ourselves in the journey; if we haven’t arrived at our destination yet – so what?
Even if one obstacle proves too great, and doesn’t allow us to reach a particular goal – we have to make our peace with it and move on in life, and continue to work to get to where we need to go.

It’s unfair to deny our lives a sense of wholeness, and prevent ourselves from feeling complete and at peace with who we are, because we haven’t reached that ideal state…

We mustn’t define our value and self-worth based on attainment of objective perfection and goals; rather, let’s define it in the way we deal with and cope with struggles that arise along the way, and the way we live our lives every step of the journey…

Then, even when things get in the way – not only will we avoid the “destruction”, but we’ll struggle with it as part of our perfection – this is how we define ourselves, and this is how we define our perfection.

Failure is not defined by our inability to obtain that picture-perfect state, but rather by our surrendering ourselves to the complications that arise along the way.

If we insist on living our lives chasing distant perfection – we may forget to live; If we learn to live our lives and show who we are in the current moment, in the current battle, and can allow our selves and our sense of purpose to be found in the in the ongoing journey and experience and in the process we’re using to get wherever it is we need to go – our lives will always be fulfilled, whole and complete ones – because we’ll live knowing that we’re not compromising ourselves and our potential.

So this (Chassidic) holiday-season, when resolution time rolls around – let’s try and keep all this in mind; let’s not allow ourselves to be intimidated or discouraged by the inevitable obstacles we’ll face along the way, but stand strong, firm, and resolute in our determination to be all that we can be – no matter how that opportunity may present itself.

In the end – hopefully – we’ll learn to be at peace with our selves and with the world around us, and allow ourselves to feel alive – to know that we’re not doing this all in vain; and to finally feel at home in our world – the world we create for ourselves in the present moment.

But I call “High-Priest”…