Face it – you’ve got problems. Who doesn’t? (Unless you really don’t. Then I apologize.) And it’s ok. Most normal breathing, walking, talking, yoga doing, karaoke singing people type persons constantly find themselves in situations that call for a couple less margaritas than usual.
Much of the time, your woefully woeful woes may not even be within your ability to control; what can you do about the sad fact that your pet moth has contracted severe cervical dysthymia? Not much.
Water, Water Everywhere… So Drink Up!
Disclaimer: readers of the following parsha article, may find the material interestingly different and possibly entertaining. That’s ok.
Face it – you’ve got problems. Who doesn’t? (Unless you really don’t. Then I apologize.) And it’s ok. Most normal breathing, walking, talking, yoga doing, karaoke singing people type persons constantly find themselves in situations that call for a couple less margaritas than usual.
Much of the time, your woefully woeful woes may not even be within your ability to control; what can you do about the sad fact that your pet moth has contracted severe cervical dysthymia? Not much.
But fortunately for us, not all the issues we face are necessarily all that life-altering.
Just because your iPod decides to only play tracks ending in “Q” isn’t much of a reason for you to start planning which Star-Wars©®™ costume you’re going to wear for your trip to the nearest bridge…
But the reality is that at some point you will inevitably make (one of) the worst mistake(s) of your life.
And maybe you already have (I’m not talking about YOU…).
Maybe you didn’t do something you REALLY should’ve; or maybe you did do something you REALLY shouldn’t have. Omission or commission. You took one too many easy way outs and now you’re just … out. Or you betrayed a trust. Or you lit the neighbors’ cat on fire (PETA people: it was a long time ago – let it go.).
Whatever the case, you messed up. Big time. And now you find yourself in a place you’d really rather not be.
Much of the time, we simply post bail, make amends, and get on with our lives.
But sometimes it’s not that simple. Sometimes the world isn’t so forgiving. Sometimes, we don’t get that second chance. And even if we are lucky enough to get another opportunity, things will almost certainly be very different – tougher, harder. Your once carefree life has (at least to a certain extent) been turned on its head, and now you need to find a way to get back on your feet.
No matter how you decide to go about that, though, you won’t be able to escape from the realities of your past mistakes.
But your life handing you lemons doesn’t mean you have to go ahead and start a lemon collection. It certainly won’t do you very much good. And chances are they’ll eventually rot.
Besides, even if you can’t change your past, you can decide how your past changes you.
Meaning…
To make a very long story very short: You were born, as you, with certain you-isms, into a certain family, with certain them-isms, into a certain environment, etc. etc. And through a combination of nature and nurture, you (for better or for worse) developed into the person you are today.
And naturally, we’re comfortable with who we are. And we develop a certain complacence with the way we run our lives – even though we know it may not always be the best for us.
Perhaps the single-most difficult thing for any person is attempting to change these naturally programmed “settings” he has become so accustomed to.
Unless you happen to be a very different kind of human-being (in a good way), accomplishing anything of the sort simply by setting your mind to it seems about as practical as organizing a Bolivian goat jihad in Times Square to benefit Spanish spinach victims.
And so most of the time, as important as they may be, the much-needed changes in our lives simply don’t happen.
But every once in a while, something wonderful happens – we mess up (no, I’m not sadistic – keep reading, you’ll see). We make that one mistake that takes our comfy little lives and lifestyles and blows it all to pieces. Everything you so naively took for granted until now is swept away in a single instant. Any contentness you may have had up until this point is completely gone; in fact, there’s a good chance that that’s what got you into this mess in the first place.
And now, things aren’t too pretty. To say the least.
You could just turn this all into an excuse to stay home in your PJ’s devouring family-sized packages of mini chocolate-chip cookies while watching reruns of the World Knitting Championships.
Or you can recognize it for what it could (and really should) be – an opportunity. A really really good one.
Huh?
Here it goes:
Up until this point in your life, you were you (hopefully). Bob was Bob, Pierre was Pierre. Everyone’s who they naturally developed to be. Everybody – you included – stuck to the “script”. Sure you changed a couple of lines here and there, but the storyline was still basically the same.
But then you carelessly lit a match (or forgot to put one out) and your script went up in flames. Or your little experiment went very wrong and your house blew up (dramatic, I know – but it makes a point. I think.).
And now you have the chance to do something you previously couldn’t (or didn’t have the guts to) do. You have the ability to write a brilliant new script, to design a beautiful new landscape, and to define, in the most extraordinary way, a magnificent new character.
And of course you’ll be sure to see to it that it doesn’t have the original glitches. But you’ll also add a few new “enhancements”. And even an entirely new dimension – one of transcendence: the ability to rise above and go beyond the obstacles and hindrances that previously prevented you from realizing your true potential.
You won’t just be creating a new path – you’ll be adding a … well, a trampoline. And not just the cheap kiddy kind you find on the dusty clearance-shelf at K-Mart; the really good kind. The kind that’ll enable you to jump so high, the roof of your old house looks very, very small.
And now you can soar high above the clouds that once obstructed your sight, open your eyes and see the radiant colors of your soul.
Or in the (not-so-verbatim) words of the Torah:
When your world has corrupted and the storm comes crashing down and turns life as you know it to devastating ruin, hold on tight with the vision that when the chaos calms and the fog clears – there will be a rainbow.
Make it a pretty one.
Happy Shabbat
Click Here to send feedback to the author.
chanie
WOW! talk about living with the parsha. great article!
ch melamed
"karaoke, margaritas, pets, moths with severe cervical dysthymia, ipod, star wars, costumes, cat on fire, peta, jihad, bolivian goat, times square, spanish spinach, family-sized packages of mini chocolate-chip cookies, World Knitting Championships, kmart trampolines…" HUH?!
HUH?!… WHAT???
initially, i stopped reading after the first two paragraphs. then i continued so that i can write the follwing comment (which is more directed towards webby, not the author):
as an educator in our community, i’m wondering, is this how a dvar torah should be presented at the shabbas table? are we posting this kind of diluted message that has been so badly watered down and poorly written on a community blog so that our children should print it and assume this is how a dvar torah should look like, since it came from a community web site that features other mature authors? it brings down the level of the parshas hashavuah section you have. this obviously isnt a mature adult writing… this boy should start his own blog where he can express his mind to those who wish to relate to it. As for webby, im going to assume you didnt read it… you probably should from now on. if you are looking for content.. there are plenty of good authors, such as the ones you already feaure and we thank you for bringing them to us.
Eli
Wow, great article!
RBA
kudos to ch melamed
de
very interesting! gr8 article!
sruli k.
enjoyed the idea very much… lots of potential there to cultivate… this is how every great writer starts… keep em coming and we’ll keep on reading!
the rest of my CONSTRUCTIVE criticism you already heard when we spoke on the phone… which brings me to:
to ch melamed:
i understand some of where you are coming from… but you call that CONSTRUCIVE criticism? as an educator, you should know better than that! its far better that the things you quoted (karaoke margaritas etc) be connected with a message taken from a sicha, rather than any other way! i applaud the author for relating to the parsha’s message in a personal and meaningful way… however "diluted" it may seem. regardless, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism will fuel him to become a more "mature" author, as you write. whereas by contrast, your kind of criticism will only crush the potential that this gifted writer can cultivate from his expressive style. it is my sincere hope that you take this message to the classroom as well and apply it to the way your methods of education.
BORUCH N. HOFFINGER
B"H
The main question: "Is it wrong to give exposure to talented local writers, etc. on a community website?
Perhaps Crownhieghts.info wanted to give this young man some exposure?
There are plenty of other places to find a Dvar Torah from well-known writers.
Mr.Elazar Kohen has creative talent!
Eli
CH Malamed has a very valid point, this Dvar Torah doesn’t belong on a community blog, it’s not for our children to repeat at the Shabbos meal, and I don’t think it was meant for that purpose.
As a Shliach, I think it’s a great article, and if I were having a Minyan this week, I would definitely print it out and use it.
I don’t think it was written by a child, or anyone immature, as CHM assumed, I think it was written by someone tallented, and would make a great speech, albeit not to "Unzere".
a reader
it was a great article and most people who read this will have the sense i think not to read it at the shabbos table but it does have great pionts and the little notes here and there where very funny
thank you for posting it it gave me a good laugh in the middle of my long work day
Different and Entertaining
So this is what is considered "interestingly different and possibly entertaining" these days?
They really don’t make things like they used to. (If the author can use old and worn out cliches and one liners, so can I)
Doing it right
I must say that as well written and inspiring as many of the parsha articles on this site and others usually are, I usually lose interest and move on to the next article after about 2 paragraphs. I’m sure some may attribute this to my "immaturity", as they labeled Mr Kohen, but I think he may have realized something other writers don’t – if you want to get your message acroos and KEEP people interested, you have to do it a way that speaks to them.
The points made were very good ones, and very applicable, and written much of the time as "we" – definitely not just preaching a pasrsha message. As far as the humor goes, it may be immature to some, but i think for younger folks it has a very attractive funniness to it. Certainly to me.
I hope he continues to write these articles and deliver these important messages with his unique style of humor.
Then, some teens, who all the "Mechanech"s are trying to bring these exact messages to, may actually get through a full article and walk away with something valuable.
Keep it up Elazar!
Not a big fan
You know I’ve been reading the comments on this website for quite a while, and have felt the right to remain silent. but right now I will state my claim..I think it is so disgusting how people go and analyze every stupid part of an article posted on to this website. You know if you don’t like the site and if you dont aprove of it, then dont look at it. simple as that. but the fact that you have to go and critisize every little thing that goes onto this, its ridiculous. come on. I mean read the articles and unless you have nice things to say keep it to yourself. no one want’s to hear you yap on and on with all your chitter chatter about how NEGATIVE all this is. let’s be real here. be honest with ourselves. I hope that I dont have to read any more of your immature and pathetic comments, keep them to yourself.
another reader
Thnak you for sharing this article…I spend shabbos with a lot of college students and I think this would be great to share with them and relate it to their life.
sb
I must say that I am not one to read these articles often but this one kept me glued. Elazar your article was very entertaining and had a wonderful lesson. I don’t understand how any of you can be putting down this article. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that if you have nothing nice to say don’t say it! Keep that in mind next time you decide to post a comment. Elazar great work and I hope to see more articles from you in the future.
Mimi Notik
Perhaps the piece is a little immature in it’s tone.
But also, perhaps a Parsha lesson doesn’t always need to meet only the "at a Shabbos table" criteria.
I don’t think this is the most ideal or special way of giving over a D’var Torah, but I can imagine with Parsha write-ups like this, some people who normally wouldn’t entertain reading a Dvar Torah might just take in a Parsha lesson.
It’s important to be flexible, and I think it’s great that the author used his/her obviously specific style to give over some Torah.
An Admirer
Thank You,
This is quite a brilliant article, finally someone who can bring out an important lesson, from a fun and enjoyable perspective. Even though some people might not agree, I’m sure that they will eventually come around and see the light! And sure Elazar, you might have just earned yourself a one way ticket to Bellevue, (Oh, by the way, the men with the white coats are really nice, and smart too.) But all in all I was inspired, and I really enjoyed reading this article. I tip my hat off to you, (I’m not actually tipping my hat, it’s just an expression.) I’m looking forward to reading more exciting, inspiring, and for the lack of a better word… articles! Keep up the Good Work!
Oh, and never mind the next part, it’s not really meant for you, L. G. Y!
NOW, on a more serious note, I would like to Thank you for channeling your humorous perspective on life towards a purpose(LEO), and passing on a very applicable lesson in a enjoyable manner. And I shall say ‘tank you for ‘Dat one.
MENDEL G
um, I just thought I should knock some sense into ch melamed, and all you other arrogant peoples who know so much about chinuch. As an educator in Crown Heights, I’m sure you know what kind of damage the internet can do, and has already done, to our children. If you’re so worried about your children’s education, then they should be getting their divrei torah from teachers in school, not from the internet. The internet is strictly for people like me and you; grown-ups who already have seriously messed up minds. And for people like us, this author is just fine.
Doing it Right
I think some people are out to bash this guy due to their own "maturity" and piousness, without actually thinking about – what i think – may be the point of it.
To be honest, as well-written, inspiring, and proper much of the essays posted on this site and others may be, I generally find myself losing interest after maybe 2 or 3 out of about 25 paragraphs.
Thank G-d someone was finally able to come along and present it in a way to keep the younger audience – who it seems this site is often geared towards – interested in what they’re reading.
Though the writing may not be as porfessional, etc. I think his unique and very funny style of humor is what all these articles need.
At least that way, the youth of today may actually get the important messages that all the "menahel"s and "educators" have been trying to get across for years. And others may actually finish an article and walk away inspired.
Keep up the good, and so very important work E.K.!
I am
To you, a melamed.
What I’m tired of is the inccesant suppresion of talent in this community.
It seems any attempt at creativity in this community is givin a wink and a nod and then pushed aside so that the mediocre but louder, get free rein to continue their droning and monatonus verbatim sicha telling, either in articles or speech’s.
Cherio
Keep it up, Laizer.
Webby, please continue posting such interesting articles that are informative and funny. They’re well appreciated.
CHM and the rest you who opposed the article: When you have a feeling that you wish to express, please do so. As much as other may disagree with you, it is still imperative that the message come across. Though there are others who will argue with yourr point, the mater could be and should be disussed so taht it can be clarified and crystalized to evryones understanding.
Cincinnati Yid
A very powerful essay, well written and overall a great read. Thanks for making my Friday :)
Nemo
The main problem with the comments on this web site is generally the fact that everyone wants to get their opinion across, but they don’t have any actual point. Everyone just wants to be heard, but no body wants to listen. It’s shocking how people go up in arms at any insinuation of correction, but they don’t discuss the point, they discuss the argument. People- adress the point of what was said!!
CH Melamed made quite a valid point, that this isn’t a Dvar Torah so much as it is a Blog article. He didn’t say not to write or not to use your talents, he made the simple observation that this should not be seen as the type of Dvar Torah that kids should aspire to deliver. We value real Torah and real learning skills. We want our kids to be able to distill lessons right from the source. This talent is good, but it should be used elsewhere.
Perhaps someone should make a blog- or even Webby himself- to showcase young talent and give exposure to up and coming writers. Talent should be utilized for the good and people should be able to show themselves off.
Many young authors have begun by making themselves their own blogs. Some have even built up so much credibility for themselves that way that they were taken on by Chabad.org to write such articles.
—-
Anyhow, what ch.info realy needs is a moderator for all of the discussions, to make sure people are discussing things rather than just shouting out at eachother.
A CHer I-ll always be
I loved this article, as one with an attention span the size of the moth in this article, I dont have patience for Pompous speeches. You had me glued to the end. I think that the article is the very premise of what lubavitch is all about. Diversity, acceptance of others, and thinking outside of the box. Kudos to you Eliezer!
To the CH melamad, perhaps alot of the problems in Crown Hieghts stem from the close minded individuals that are involved in our childrens chinuch. Last I heard, Lubavitch held from the saying "Mdarf leben mit di tzeit." Time for you to come to the year 2006 and adapt your methods so that we stop losing our youth to the ideas that yiddishkiet is boring, and old fashioned! (We stopped smacking and beating our students, didnt we? Other attitudes need a makeover as well.)
Awesome!
Wow! 21 Comments (at the time I’m writing this) on a PARSHA article!!!
Only 4 or 5 are negative!
For everyone who opposed the article being posted on this site, it seems that the readers of this site feel very strongly about their appreciation for this article!
So can all the people who are too "mature" for these things please realize that there may be a LOT of people not as "mature" who really enjoy it! It seems from all the comments that this is the EXACT site it belongs on!
Oh and Elazar, your article is awesome, I really enjoyed it and got a big kick out of it. And even got a parsha message. Please keep writing them, and posting them on Crownheights.info!
Thank you Webby for putting this up!
ch melamed
thank you to nemo for understanding what i wrote. it couldnt have been said better. perhaps i should have put it that way earlier.
Rochel Leah
Chol hakavod! For someone who doesn’t study in Yeshiva, sometimes it is easier to relate to everyday concepts rather than tractates and the like.
Gut Shabbos!
what was the article about?
actually, i gotta say that i read the article, and couldnt quite figure out what it was talking about. sure, i got the point that if u can grow from your mistakes, but i actually had no idea that it was connected to the parsha of the week until i started reading the comments. then i went back and said, OH!!! thats why he said something about a storm and a rainbow.
now im not sure, was the article supposed to do that – just say a message without the reader knowing its based on torah – or not?
yes, it was funny, i laughed while reading it, its written in the language of people, not formal writing. but…. which audience is he writing to? im a lubavitch teen, but it was obviously not written for the frum crowd, cuz i didnt know what half his examples meant (like what was the connection to star wars?) neway, just expressing my thoughts. take them or leave them.
amazed
WOW! that was an amazing article. GREAT JOB!!!!
Hehe
Elazar,
You are an amazing writer with vicissitudes of talent!
To "CH Melamed" and all the other cantankerous, captious commentators; I’d like to see you write something even faintly comparable to what Elazar has ingeniously composed.
Failing Paper Grade
I’m a teacher, & I have to say this was boring nonsense. I don’t have the patience to wade through it…the first part was just too painful.
B+ for effort; D- for effectiveness. You fail… re-write!
Secret Admirer
as a major fan of all of types of fine writings i would like to express my appreciation for the quality and humor u managed to put across in your article and the effectiveness of its message as it connects to the parshas hashavua please keep up the excellent work and "al tivosh mipnei hamaligim"
to his excellency mr failing paper grade i would like to point out that it is exactly because of ignorant, unimaginative, holier-then-thou, cold-hearted "mechanchim" like you who are let loose upon the unsuspecting and innocent children of our community that Lubavitch is failing so many of our children
now that i got that off my chest id like to thank the author for a great job and ask him to continue his amazing work
TeacherTeacher
to: Failing Paper Grade :
I’m a teacher too , and your post is a failure ;)
D for effort
F for effectiveness
You failed my friend – re-visit your priorities.
Jason
Effectiveness of it’s message??
Anyone with a high school education or a bit of intellectual fiber should be able to realize it’s shallowness. It’s continually redundant and quite disconnected to the Parsha.
I hate to be the critic, but this is unsatisfactory- not because of the concepts introduced, but because every paragraph is superfluous to the paragraph before it, or two ahead of it.
(For the record, I’m not a Mechanech or an English teacher. I’m just a bochur)
mendy in midwest
great article had a gr8 lol
hope you don’t listen to the idiot
that only write negative things
keep’em comming
anon
well done on ur article! and the comments keep me laughing more. espeically the last! well done!!!!
FIX YOUR MISTAKES, DONT CRITISIZE
gr8 article
i hope webby will keep allowing this fine gentleman to keep on posting (possibly even every week)
why should this article be only for college teens, teens in yeshiva and for the younger crowd. just because you are 40 doesnt mean you havent made a mistake in your life at all hey your 40 you are older then a 18 year old you forsure have made more mistakes then the 18 year old apply it to yourself as well with age comes experience and lessons in life take this lesson as well and if you already fixed your mistake there is always rooom for improvement. this man that wrote this article sounds like a very mature man those that critisize cant accept life and dont want to move on but like to sit on their mistakes and are too scared to move on and therefore critisize.
great article, gret website!
spectacular article!
Avraham S.
Every friday afternoon I generally make my "rounds" to all the chabad websites (e.g. chabad.org, algemeiner, meaningfullife, ch.info) collecting and printing out parsha articles as reading material over shabbos.
I have to say that when I got around to reading this article friday night, after the first 2 or so paragraphs, although humored, I wasn’t so intersted in continuing on for my weeklky dose. For some reason I decided to anyway, and…
I agree with "Jason" that it was at times redundant and repetitive, but I do believe each time the points were further clarified and crystalized. The message was a very deep and powerful one, and the writing was superb.
The "style" which some have criticized was, I believe, the most interesting and captivating I have ever come across. Once I was into the article, I was completely glued. The humor was – although perhaps at times a little childish (which I think has several merits in its own right – such as catering to younger readership) – so hilariously random that I could not help myself from laughing out loud – naturally prompting family members to inquire as to why…
They all read the article to, and were equally impressed and humored.
I believe this writer, though he may need some sharpening here and there, has a very unique talent that has the potential to reach crowds that others writers can’t. I believe this is something Lubavitch has long been waiting for, and now that we have it, it should not be so easily and pompously dismissed.
Thank you for posting this, and i hope to see many more in the future.
HeyChai
I thought this was a great article ! I hope we see one every week ! As for those that have nothing but criticism….GET A LIFE ! You dont like reading it, move on, but dont knock someone. That’s usually done out of jealousy anyways ! If you could write better,(or just plain WRITE) your article would be up here too wouldnt it now ?
DeEss
so maybe this artical is not for your shabbos table but it was definitly at mine! wow! not only does your artical have a amazing powerful message its brought down into a level that everyone can understand and learn from it! and that’s who it should be geared towards…there are so many kids that are making so many mistakes in their young innocent lives and then think they cant change and sink deeper and deeper into their mistakes , to the point of no return? well your artical teaches them that they can change for the good and come back no matter how bad the mistake was.
I really enjoyed reading your artical! and hope to see many more! you will make a great shliach one day im sure!
Meredith
Jason wrote that he hates to be a critic.
Well, Jason, as you also wrote, "anyone with a high school education….") should be able to properly puncuate a sentence. DOn’t throw stones until you move out of your glass house.
MNP
Chana
Wow, this is a great article! I just wish I had come across it BEFORE shabbos! Keep up the good work! I hope to see many more!
enjoyable read
sweet article, i wish i had talent like you! your energy and intellect is apparent in every aspect in which you write! way to go! keep it up! hope see your writings again real soon. the fact that people are still adding their praise is example of just how brillaint and captivating your article was
Shalom S.
Very intersting!! I like it!! By any chance is there a talent for writing in your family? It seems you got some!! Keep them coming!!
anticipating
very interesting indeed! i look forward to reading your article for parshas lech lecha, and the weeks ahead…
Rachel
Funny. Deep. Inspiring. Well written.
Finally someone who knows how to make a parshah article interesting – it’s about time.
I hope that this website will continue to give proper exposure to this wonderful author – we can’t afford to lose him.
Thank you Mr Kohen, and thank you CrownHeights.info.