Three-Year-Old Lights Up Ancient Tradition

MONROE TOWNSHIP, NJ — Three-year-olds usually take small steps, but on her third birthday Matti Zaklikovsky — together with her family and the Monroe Jewish community — took a giant leap forward for Jewish continuity.

Matti, the daughter of Rabbi Eliezer and Chanie Zaklikovsky of the Chabad Jewish Center of Monroe, began lighting Shabbat candles with her mother and her older sister, Moussia. While that isn’t an uncommon tradition, the Zaklikovskys honored the occasion Aug. 29 with a public ceremony at which 150 members of the community shared in the celebration.

“It was actually a little emotional,” Rabbi Zaklikovsky said about watching his daughter light candles for the first time. “Raising a child is a big responsibility, and when you see that they’re following in the ways of family, it’s very heartwarming.”

Zaklikovsky said the family wanted to turn the occasion into an educational experience for the community. While Matti isn’t yet obligated in the mitzvah, Zaklikovsky said, “it’s a way of educating her into a tradition that follows the link from one generation to the next.”

Seven-year-old Mendel Zaklikovsky welcomed everyone to the program, and then Zaklikovsky spoke to the audience about the significance of lighting Shabbat candles, which the matriarch Rebecca began doing at age 3 as well.

“The specific mitzvah of ushering in the Shabbat is given to the woman, because the woman is the mainstay of the home,” Zaklikovsky said. “And when it comes to providing light, spiritually, which his the stability of the home, and the emotional well-being, we entrust that only to the woman, who is more in-tune spiritually.”

Chanie Zaklikovsky spoke about the family tradition that has been passed down through candlesticks that have been in the family for 150 years, and how meaningful it is to watch the ritual continue with Matti.

She introduced her aunt, who spoke about Matti’s great-great-grandmother using the same candlesticks that Matti was about to use.

Rabbi Zaklikovsky said the mitzvah of lighting Shabbat candles is something that women have risked their lives to perform in past years when such practices were strictly prohibited by European governments.

“And they did, because it was so important to them,” he said. “And thank God, today we’re able to do it in freedom, and turn it into a celebration where we’re able to share the light. It shows the chain of yiddishkeit is continuing unbroken.”

Matti read a poem, concluding with her pledge to “fill the world with Shabbat light,” then lit the candles and made the blessing. Matti’s sister Moussia sang a song about lighting Shabbat candles, concluding with the verse:

“When I grow up, no matter what life brings
Hashem will give me the strength to handle it
And I will walk by the light
Of a thousand Friday nights
With the prayers of my mother, who always had her candles lit.”

The song, and the ceremony in general, had an emotional effect on many in the audience. Zaklikovsky said that even if they don’t light Shabbat candles themselves, most of those at the party could remember their parents or grandparents doing so.

“It was moving because it has a lot of nostalgia attached to it,” he said. “And that immediately gives them an emotional jolt.”

That was certainly the case for local resident Natalie Lainoff. Lainoff stopped lighting Shabbat candles many years ago, but was so moved by the program, and especially the connection between physically lighting the candles while spiritually lighting the world, that she made a pledge to Matti.

“I took it to heart,” Lainoff said. “And I wrote her a note… that I promised that from that Friday night, I would be lighting candles, which I have been doing.”

Lainoff said that the Chabad Jewish Center helps strengthen her connection to her late parents and their family traditions.

“I feel that it’s brought me much closer to my parents,” she said. “I hear my father davening when the men (at Chabad) are davening. It just feels like home, like you’ve come home.”

The Zaklikovskys established the Jewish Center in Monroe in 2002, and have been providing services, classes, and holiday celebrations to the community since. Because the family didn’t actually move into town until 2003, they didn’t have a similar celebration for Moussia’s third birthday. In that respect, it was a first for the Zaklikovskys as well as the community.

“We really wanted to bring this mitzvah to the community, and the way of Chabad is not just to push it down people’s throats, but to introduce it in a very exciting, fun, meaningful, and personal way,” Zaklikovsky said. “And this gave the opportunity to participate in a family simcha, and at the same time learn something new.”

Zaklikovsky added that Lainoff immediately showed them that they did the right thing, when she got up at Kiddush and announced her pledge.

“I said to myself, the whole party was worth it,” he said.

The community is invited to Pizza and Dairy Delights Sukkah party on Sunday, Sept. 30, at 3 p.m., and “Sushi in the Sukkah” on Tuesday, Oct. 2., at 1:30 p.m. The Pizza Sukkah party is free and open to the public, and “Sushi in the Sukkah” is for women only, and costs $15 per person. Those looking to attend can RSVP to Chanie Zaklikovsky at (732) 656-1616. Both events will take place at the Chabad Jewish Center, 261 Gravel Hill Rd., Monroe.