Stamford Friendship Circle Celebrates Decade

When Emma Caplan learned about the role Friendship Circle of Fairfield County plays in the lives of special needs children during a class at Chabad Lubavitch of Westport, she decided she had to take part.

For more than a year, Emma, 14, has spent an hour or more each week visiting Ethan Walmark, 6, who also lives in Westport and is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Emma, a freshman at Staples High School, said the relationship she and her friend Rachel Stanford, another volunteer, have with Ethan is mutually rewarding and a highlight of her week.

“It makes me happy to make him happy,” Emma said. “I would never not do this.”

Allison Ziering-Walmark, Ethan’s mother, said the weekly visits give her a breather from caring for Ethan so she can spend one-on-one time with her 5-year-old daughter.

More importantly, Ethan, who is in kindergarten and undergoes regular therapy sessions every week to develop his speech, fine motor, and other skills, gets a chance to just be himself.

“They are phenomenal with Ethan and Ethan adores them as well,” Ziering-Walmark said. “What they do is crucial because Ethan is relaxed and so happy to see them.”

Teenagers and families of special needs children are celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Friendship Circle of Fairfield County, an organization founded by the Chabad Lubavitch in Fairfield County that pairs teenagers from the area with children who have special needs.

The group is inspired by the philosophy of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, leader of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement. Schneerson taught that children with autism and special needs were blessed with a special connection with God, according to Rabbi Zalman Shmotkin, spokesman for Lubavitcher World Headquarters in New York City.

On Mother’s Day, the Friendship Circle hosted a Night of Appreciation at the Sheraton of Stamford to honor the mothers of children with special needs and the 300 area teenagers who volunteer to provide companionship for the children.

“The moms of our special children serve as living inspiration to every one of us,” said Malya Shmotkin, director of The Friendship Circle.

The night included a performance by Ethan, who has begun to garner notice for his musical skills. A video of Ethan playing Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” became a sensation when it was posted on YouTube in April, accruing 1.2 million views in a matter of weeks.

Caplan said the two girls often spend the hour singing with Ethan while he plays piano.

“Ethan is always playing and singing,” Caplan said. “He has a passion for music.”

Since its inception in 2002 with a handful of teenage volunteers, about 750 teens have volunteered through the Friendship Circle group to befriend and care for special needs children on a weekly basis, said Rabbi Chezy Deren of Chabad of Stamford, development director of the organization.

The program serves about 1,100 children a year, giving them a chance to take part in activities including a day camp, sports, or various outings, according to Deren.

Teenagers who volunteer to spend time with the children often find their commitment reinforces lessons about being less judgmental and accepting of the value of different types of people.

“They start out thinking that they are the ones giving and by the end they consider themselves to be the ones getting,” Deren said. “. . . It is true that a person may not be able to talk or have my other abilities but they teach you about loyalty, sensitivity, savoring the moment, honesty or love and we become better people.”

Robin Weber, one of the first volunteers of the Friendship Circle, said the time she spent as a companion to a toddler during her four years in high school helped her in her position as a speech pathologist at the Burke Rehabilitation Hospital in White Plains, N.Y.

Now 27, she has volunteered with the Friendship Circle providing supervision during activities at Chabad of Stamford, including cooking and arts and crafts, she said.

“I really carry over what I learned as a volunteer for the Friendship Circle and realize that the volunteers allow the children such relief and joy and allow their parents to see their children interacting,” Weber said.