A Chat with the Hamden Shliach

Hamden, CT — Rabbi Menachem Piekarski is a serious man and a delightfully passionate storyteller, and believer. He is the rabbi for the Chabad of Hamden, a national movement that’s part synagogue, part academia. The Hassidic Jewish man, who grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y., runs services and classes out of his 17 Park St. home. Every moment of his life is Judaism.

The Piekarskis and their five children, 5-13, wrap themselves in religious rituals, prayers and intellectual discussion. The kids are avid readers. The parents are loving and firm. They choose not to be a mainstream American family. The Rabbi, as I call him, adheres to the strictest Jewish doctrine. First instance, in accordance to his interpretation of biblical scripture, family members are not allowed to touch the opposite sex, except among siblings, parents, grandparents and spouses. The Rabbi’s son may not hug or even shake the hand of his aunt.

By living frugally, he and his wife, Miryam, are able to send all their children to Southern Connecticut Hebrew School in Orange. After the elementary school years there, the boys and girls are put in separate classrooms. The Rabbi said if he had to, he’d eat two meals a day to give his offspring a Jewish education.

Next Thursday at sundown is the beginning of the eight-day celebration of Hanukkah. On Sunday, Dec. 17, the Rabbi will again light the menorah across from Memorial Town Hall and then host a party in the Miller Senior Center.

Hamden Daily News: What is the meaning of Hanukkah?
Rabbi Menachem Piekarski: Well, if we took the word ‘Hanukkah,’ the literal meaning is rededication. Where the temple was rededicated after it was defiled by the Hellenists. Hanukkah means rededication. There was the miracle of the oil, where as part of the Hellinists defiling the temple, they defiled all the oil that was in there and couldn’t be used in the service. And the miracle happened because they found one jug of oil that was not defiled, and that jug was enough for one day and it burned for eight days. So in essence what Hanukkah celebrates is the victory of the spirit over the material. Or right over might.

HDN: Do you think Hanukkah became a big, materialistic holiday because Jews were envious of Xmas?
Rabbi: Traditionally, on Hanukkah we gave what’s called Hanukkah gelt. Now, Hanukkah gelt is not the chocolate coins you find in the store. Hanukkah gelt is money, real money. Hanukkah also relates to education. The Hebrew word for education is chinuch, so the root is the same as Hanukkah. Gelt had a two-fold purpose, a) to show children that you study and work hard. Hanukkah [in Europe, pre-World War II) was a bit of a winter break, although they did go to school, it was a little more relaxed. They played some games and … So they were given gelt as part of that. And some of that money was given to charity. In America, you’re right, it became associated with Christmas.
HDN: I assume you give your children just gelt on Hanukkah.
Rabbi: With my family we don’t do gifts. Hanukkah, technically, is a minor holiday compared to the other ones. It happens to be in the winter. And parents probably felt guilty that their kids weren’t getting what other parents’ children were getting [for Christmas]. Or it might be a feeling of inadequacy. They’re having a big celebration, what are we celebrating? So Hanukkah became a big thing. There’s nothing wrong with Hanukkah being a big thing. There’s nothing wrong with kids getting gifts.
HDN: What does Hanukkah look like in your home?
Rabbi: Wait a moment. There’s nothing wrong with making Hanukkah being big because we’re rededicating ourselves to serving G-d. It’s a great thing. But the problem is it became all about the gifts and not about what’s behind the gifts. A gift is a good thing. A child should feel that we love them and sometimes a gift for no reason could take a child and boost them. It should be about what motivated the gift and not about the gift. So your question, what’s Hanukkah like in my house? Take out the silver menorah. Gotta polish it. You’ve gotta have the oil and the wicks.
HDN: No candles?
Rabbi: Don’t use candles. The miracle is with oil. Nowadays in our society where you can get everything prepared, they actually have prepared little bowls, if you will, pre-filled with oil and a wick. I used to prepare the wick myself and pour the oil. In our busy life every little bit helps. So we light the menorah. And we’ll have the latkes, the potato pancakes. And my kids will get Hanukkah gelt. My kids are lucky because I give them Hanukkah gelt every night.
HDN: Do they give it to charity?
Rabbi: Not all of it. The children are taught that when you earn money, 10 percent should go to charity. The older ones, we’ll encourage them to choose their own charity. The younger ones, we’ll give it to us and make sure it gets to a charity.
HDN: What kind of charities?
Rabbi: Especially with Hanukkah, I tend to look for charities that relate to Jewish education. But if my children want to give to another charity, so be it, as long as it’s legitimate. I will encourage them, I’m being parochial, to give to Jewish charity because I believe charity begins at home. We have to take care of ourselves first.
HDN: You said you’re not Orthodox …
Rabbi: No, I didn’t say I’m not Orthodox.
HDN: OK.
Rabbi: I am a Jew. Period. I don’t like labels. If you’re asking me about my beliefs, well my beliefs are that of those who are called Orthodox. When someone asks me what am I, I say I’m a Jew. People come to me and tell me they’re a conservative Jew or a reformed Jew or a reconstructionist Jew or a non-believing Jew or whatever it may be, and I say, Jew doesn’t carry a label with it. You are a Jew. End of discussion.
HDN: What is the essence of Chabad?
Rabbi: It places an emphasis that our relationship to G-d is not only emotional, not only [based] on pure faith but has to impact our intellect as well. Therefore we have to understand as much as possible. And there’s a whole approach on how we relate to G-d. How contemplating about the greatness of G-d creates an emotion of love. That’s where Chabad distinguishes itself. The function of a Chabad rabbi, in general, will be to enhance the Judaism of everybody.
HDN: With several other rabbis in town, why do you light the town menorah each year?
Rabbi: The first public menorah lighting [in the United States] ever happened was in 1977, I think, or in ’78 right in front of the White House. President Carter came out for that one. Chabad arranged it. Because Chabad, again, wants to enhance Judaism.