Ceremonial Haircut – Celebration Introduces Sons to Jewish Faith

LONGMONT, CO — As far as Meir Borenstein and Elan Barkenbus knew, the party meant sweet treats, gifts and loved ones.

But the June 12 community gathering at the D-Barn Reception Hall on South Main Street was more than a child’s birthday party. The celebration marked the boys’ third birthday earlier this month and symbolized their introduction to the Jewish faith through a custom known as an upshernish.

An upshernish is a ceremony in Orthodox Judaism during which a 3-year-old boy receives his first haircut. The ritual symbolizes the Torah law that states a person shall not cut fruit from a tree for its first three years, said Rabbi Yakov Borenstein, Meir’s father.

Meir’s birthday was June 6, and Elan’s birthday was June 11.

“(Elan) celebrated his birthday party at school yesterday. He celebrated last night with family at home,” said Michelle Barkenbus, his mother.

“He just knows it’s a party,” said Elan’s father, Charles.

Michelle Barkenbus said the ceremonial haircut was more about Jewish tradition for her family. To prepare Elan, the family talked about the ritual and read children’s books about the upshernish.

“He’s the only boy at school with long hair,” she said. “He’s growing up. I can’t believe it! It’s such a gift to watch him grow up.”

During the ceremony, the boys were seated side by side and wore yarmulkes, or skull caps, and tzitzis, or fringed garments.

After a blessing, loved ones took turns using scissors to take tiny snips of the boys’ hair, leaving long locks on the sides of their heads. The boys were given candy to remind them of God’s goodness, as well as dollar bills to put in a piggy bank, symbolizing their tzedekah, or charity to others.

Borenstein said one custom of an upshernish is to collect the hair, weigh it and donate the monetary equivalent to charity, which his family planned to do.

Michelle Barkenbus said Elan would get his “real haircut” the next day at a local salon. She said the families decided to hold the ceremony together after learning their sons’ birthdays were close to each other, Borenstein said.

Shmuel Light, Meir’s grandfather, said an upshernish is usually done in private. But the June 12 public ceremony showed the strength and cohesiveness of Longmont’s Jewish community, “implanting a feeling that you belong,” he said.

“They need these Jewish experiences,” Borenstein said. “It’s an unbelievable milestone. It’s a time when he’s putting coherent sentences together and he’s understanding so much. But we don’t want to throw Judaism at him. He will grow to understand it … and respect it.”