Are you dreading the summer? Do you want some guidance to deal with the modesty crisis? Rabbi Aharon Dovid Gancz, a renowned Mechanech from Morristown, NJ, will address some of your concerns on Wednesday, 5 Iyar (April 29th) at 8.30 pm in Kolel Menachem (1483 Union Street, corner Kingston Ave.) The shiur will address a wide range of issues pertaining to men, like “why is such an emphasis placed on modesty?” and “when should I say something?” The Shiur will be followed by a Question and Answer session.

Full Flyer and More Info in the Extended Article

Tznius Shiur – What Can I Do?

Are you dreading the summer? Do you want some guidance to deal with the modesty crisis? Rabbi Aharon Dovid Gancz, a renowned Mechanech from Morristown, NJ, will address some of your concerns on Wednesday, 5 Iyar (April 29th) at 8.30 pm in Kolel Menachem (1483 Union Street, corner Kingston Ave.) The shiur will address a wide range of issues pertaining to men, like “why is such an emphasis placed on modesty?” and “when should I say something?” The Shiur will be followed by a Question and Answer session.

Full Flyer and More Info in the Extended Article

30 Comments

  • the root is LOW SELF ESTEEM!

    to me the real problem is young women with deplorable self image issues

    its got nothing at all todo with KNOWING the halachos

    its got everything todo with knowing (thinking) that i am a worthless nothing and therfore anything goes,! RL

    i’ve never met a Happy well adjusted young women with a craving to expose more than halacha allows
    get to know any one of these women personally (let them open up to you) you’ll see, that behind those fake smiles is a “shattered-selfesteem” probably by a bully -teacher or student

    these girls feel no shame b/c there is no inner (toichin) happiness for whatever reason (i’m not blaming them ch“v) frankly i know many of them personally , over time u come to discover whats really motivating them, its sad! very sad!

    and has got nothing todo with knowledge or even the REBBE’S promisses of Joy Nachas, Harchava etc the emotion is soo deep that no rational thinking is relevant !!

    the need for self denegrating attention is soo strong, no DRASHA can talk a girl out of it once they crossed that line!

    again they are NOT BAD, they are hurting inside!

    lacking the right attention from their own (clueles) husbands who have never been given any guidance on how to treat a wife and keep her (soul-heart) satasfied fulfilled and feeling cherished,

    a truly happy women HAS NOT THE IMPULSE or TEMPTATION to dress in violation of halacha, self respect, and all the brachos promissed by the Rebbeh for MS”N on tznius

    the problem is though that the truth hurts!

    and i can only imagine that the DEFENSIVE NAME-CALLING ATTACKS THAT WILL FOLLOW IF MY COMMENTS ARE ACCURATE!! only someone whose cover was blown for the whole world to see would try to make up excuses to rationalize and justify and
    why they are degrading themselves in public

    like nothing more than a piece of meat , lacking any inner worthyness or dignity worth saving and cherishing for the special and appropreate place time and person!

    enough said!

  • Mivtzah??

    Since when did tznius become a mivtzah??
    Maybe you would like it to be one of the ten mivtzaim, but too bad, the Rebbe did not consult us which Mitzvois should become Mivtzoim. Making tznius into a Mivtzah which it wasn’t will not help promote tznius.
    Of course it does not mean we should not address this topic but you can not change what the Rebbe called a mivtzah.

  • ah poshta yid fuen shcuna

    willi wrote:
    Please!! these Satmars love to talk about girls!!

    u know he happens to be a nice guy i know him a long time ,when he first came to lubavitch , he and his friends had a lot of miseras nefesh , more the u will ever know , have some respect ,, our hood needs a lot to learn from them

  • Yossele

    Thank you!

    The current situation is total embarrassment for all of CH.

    10 years ago, when the problem was starting to get out of hand, no one wanted to say anything. Now look was we have.

    Thank you Yagdil Torah for trying to bring a shred of dignity and class to the women of this community!

  • yossele

    10 years ago, when the situation was starting to get out of hand, no on wanted to say anything. Now look what we have!

    Thank you Yagdil Torah for trying to restore a shred of dignity and class for the women of this community!

  • Yakoiv

    Although I agree with “ the root is low self esteem” comment above. The comment is only addressing the real serious cases. On a much larger scale is the general AVIR of PRITZUS,PRIKAS OIL and lack of sensitivity to Tznius, even by people we consider “Chasidish”. The Tznius Shiur tonight is a must for every man in our community who wants to put the issue of Tznius on the front burner. By attending this shiur, you will be making a strong statement that the community is united against this shameful behavior

  • Bochur

    “Crisis” the most over used and misused word. did moshiach come yet that anything out of the norm is a crisis?? we dont live in a utopian era yet.
    please, no need to be melodramatic.
    beside for the fact that any proclaimed crisis is a result of ones subjective observations, as apposed to real data.

  • To willi

    “Please!! these Satmars love to talk about girls!!”

    Nowhere on the flyer is any gender mentioned.
    Tznius is an subtle issue, it affects more than just dress (eg. talking loudly, mingling, and in general drawing attention to oneself) and as such, is relevant to both sides of the mechitza.

    Perhaps that’s what will be addressed.
    Come and hear for yourself.

    PS A Lubavitcher is someone who follows the Rebbe’s directives and learns Chassidus, it’s not a hereditary title.

  • TO: the root is LOW SELF ESTEEM!

    I AGREE 1000% WERE YOUR INSIGHTFUL ANALYSES!

    that only a neglected wife who is love starved wold be tempted to “expose more than halacha allows”

    where we differ however is,
    (as a student of psychology for 17 years)
    i can tell you that many women with low self-esteem also suffer from a secondary “spill over” condition, known simply as “MALE-ATTENTION-ISSUES” this level is far more problematic, and not as acute, and fixable simply by a (husbands) knowing how to treat there wife, and make them feel cherished and appreciated,

    when the insecurity is soo low that she craves x attention from men -passers by, on the street, (ie by dressing immodestly and provocatively)

    then unfortunately merely giving her more affection and love from her husband will not suffice that bottomless pit of self loathing, its simply a black hole!

    these wives need much more than a (trained) loving husband, in order to undo the male-attention issue,

    its time for some therapy and some digging (into the past! sort through some childhood issues)

    THE POINT: (to those who care)

    IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH SUCH ISSUES, FIND A SMART AND EFFECTIVE WAY TO LURR THEM INTO A PROFESSIONAL,
    YOU WILL MAKE THE REST OF THEIR LIFE, A MUCH NICER ONE!!!

  • Aron

    “Please!! these Satmars love to talk about girls!!”

    So does G-d. Read the Torah.

    So what?

    It’s All in your mind, buddy.

  • NOT A C.H.er

    as an outsider to your community
    i can echo the sentiment of soo many of my frum friends

    who visit C.H!
    they are embaressed for these young wives who
    KNOW NOT the destinction between STYLE, CLASSY vs SLUTTY!

    i admit to being on the trendy side my self
    yet as a Beis Yaakov grad, i manage to dress stylish w/o degrading my self or thumbing my nose at halacha (g-d’s will)

    “atrractive” denotes beutyful and good taste,
    NOT LITERALLY -ATTRACTING- dressed to attract (turn heads) for the wrong reasons,

    donning a BIG RED duns-cap is certainly attractive.!!! (it does ATTRACT) yet is not good taste, classy, respectful nor stylish!

    CH ladies have a lot to learn from their self-respecting counterparts around the world, engaged in Uforatzto.

  • TO: Satmars love to talk about girls!!”

    your comments are very revealing!!

    they DO INDEED reveal to the world YOUR PERVERTED one-track mind!

    thanks for sharing!

    the cow looks at the world with cow eyes!!!

  • Mushky

    What about girls
    I’d love to hear it, but I’m the wrong gender for the shiur,
    will Webby or Techie PLEASE post if a cd, audio track is available?

  • what they really want

    Thank you Yagdil torah and mink jewelers for bringing us shiurim on all subjects – I hope everybody appreciates you like I do

  • Musa

    to “the root is LOW SELF ESTEEM”
    I agree, wholeheartedly. I am in year 8 in Beis Rivka, and I personally know a girl who has no life at all, she has no real friends, she is totally depressed, thinks she is horrid, and she acts like she is not jewish, chas v’shalom. Then I know a big group of girls who are confident in themselves, have a few close friends, and keep smiling, and they look like lubavitch, frum girls. It’s all on how you think of yourself. Someone who thinks highly of himself will never dress in a degrading fashion. somebody who has no care for their neshama will willingly dress with a short, showing skirt, and a low necklined shirt. We must not go above and get too egotistic, but we can not think of ourselves as lowlives. We are yidden, chassidim, lubavitchers. we must represent the Rebbe in our every action. Our dress, our speech, our deeds, to bring Moshiach.

  • 8graduettes09

    I was recently at a friend, and her Zaidy was visiting. He started talking to us, and said that he had walking home with Rabbi so-and-so, and had started discussing the tzniut crisis in C.H. The Rabbi said, “it pains me to no extent, i can not even talk about this” Her zaidy then made the two of us stand up, and he made sure our skirts were long enough, etc. After about half an hour of talking to us about not being affected by other girls, he said, maybe now by talking to us, he ignited a little spark, and we will both go out and spread the mitzvah of tzniut, nad make sure that nobody goes out of their house uncovered. I dont know about my friend, but he sure ignited a spark in me, which is why i am writing this comment. Please, do not leave your house if you are not completely covered, it is for the sake of those looking at you, and mostly, for your own sake, and your neshamas sake. Covering your body is like covering a sefer torah. nobody would leave a sefer torah uncovered, that would be like leaving a Genuine Yayga diamond uncovered! our bodies are sacred, we must keep them covered at all times.

  • Chabad in a tight mini-skirt

    Out of all the comments, I think 8graduettes09 is the only one who touched on a core issue, without hitting the point.
    She wrote, “Covering your body is like covering a Sefer Torah. nobody would leave a sefer torah uncovered, that would be like leaving a Genuine Yayga diamond uncovered! our bodies are sacred, we must keep them covered at all times.”
    Well, the absolute truth – and I’ve seen it for years now – is that yes, many members of our community would and do “leave a Sefer Torah uncovered”! You are quoting Judaism, G-d, Torah, Halachah, Rebbe… to people who care nothing about these terms, in actual practice. These things are superficially in their lives by chance, i.e., family, community, schooling, etc. and they can’t and do not even want to throw them away. However, they are hollow terms.
    So, how can we bring JUDAISM back to life in Lubavitch – mainly in this community?? Tznius is just a symptom; sure we should work all out at fixing it, but do not forget that it is just a symptom. G-d help us!
    It is not just the women wearing short skirts, big sunglasses and skin-tight tops, it is “Chabad in a tight mini-skirt” saying “where am I and who am I?”

  • wow!

    I never realized that the reason these girls and women who dress the way they do are doing so because they are so loved starved! a real eye opener. thank you for pointing this out!
    does this mean when we see these individuals walking along we should go over and give them a hug and offer our sympathies?

  • NOT SURE? TRY THIS!!

    `to all those “thznius”-challenged“ do youreslfs a favor, ask a wise friend who you fully trust there honesty and motivation,
    (someone: with-it, down-to-earth, and smart, and most importantly, cares A LOT FOR YOU)
    simply ask to be 100% perfectly honest with you, …”does dressing immodestly-provocatively“ in public, truly say the wrong thing about my self-respect,?
    does it really advertise to the world an inferiority complex, or that i easily cave to peer-pressure?
    does it really hurt soo many passers by, (making me look ”heartless” selfish and inconsiderate)
    cant ppl just assume that i dont know the halacha, or i’m not aware of the local sensitivities?
    might i be hurting (embaresing my family members (husband etc) w/o knowing it, i’d never do anything that causes others extreme discomfort, NO NO NOT ME) especially my family!

    PLEASE PLEASE be 100% honest (w/o any hidden agenda)

    i really want an OBJECTIVE opinion (from someone i can trust)

  • to: root is LOW SELF ESTEEM!

    i find your observation really on torget!, only i thought that this was not obvious to others like youself,
    thanks for validating my personal notion, i dont feel so lonely, it makes it easier for me to dress halachacly, just the awareness of “the true message” spoils the temptation to be peerpreasure, (i dont wish to be seen as caving to shalow peer preasure)

    someone should tell these women what they are unknowingly revealing! how embaressing

  • RESPNSE TO the root is self esteem)

    WOW THANKS FOR BEING SOO THOUGHTLESS AND INCONSIDERATE YOUSELF!

    GREAT PROPAGANDA, ARE YOU TRYING TO SHAME ME INTO TZNIUT,

    FOR MANY OF US IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM OR PEER PRESSURE! NOT ONE DROP, I DRESS THAT WAY EVEN IN MY HOME!!

    FOR ME AND (i’m sure others) ITS ABOUT SAVING MONEY!!

    IT IS FAR CHEAPER AND MUCH EASIER TO FIND CLOTHING THAT IS… I DONT HAVE A LOT OF TIME OR MONEY TO DRESS STYLISH AND TZNIUT! (that combination is like 6x the price)

    DONT JUDGE, I MAY LOOK EXPENSIVE, BUT WE ARE STRUGGLING, AND WE CANNOT AFFORD TO SHOP ON KINGSTON!!

    ALL YOU TZNIUT LADIES WITH LOTS OF TIME AND MONEY, ITS EASY FOR YOU TO DRESS STYLISH AND TZNIUT!

    YOU PROBABLY GET A NEW “SHEVY” WIG EVERY PESACH,

    I ONLY HAVE ONE SINGLE SHEITUL, AND WOULD GLADLY WEAR ONE TO THE STORE IF I CAN AFFORD A NICE ONE!

    DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER! SOME OF US DONT HAVE A CHOICE!

  • to CANT AFFORD GOOD CLOTHES!

    one way or another its always a rachmanus,

    someone tell these ladies all the promisses and rewards that the rebbeh pledged to those who go out on mesiras nefesh for tzrnius!

    to the mom with no time nor money for decent cloths
    why not give the rebbe’s promises a chance, = then, you wont be soo poor! (one of the promised blessings is more harchava $!!)

  • Warmly

    To the root………….
    Bravo! Well said, thoughtful and organized.

    To the one who cannot afford:
    Do you ever say “ I cannot afford kosher food-there is a non jewish butcher at the corner-I’ll go there, this way we can have veal for dinner instead of plain chicken” If we realize the importance of Tznius like ANY OTHER COMMANDMENT IF NOT MORE, then we will settle for 2 or 3 things to wear which are KOSHER in the eyes of Hashem, your children and your spouse, then 10 which are all no good.
    And TRUST in Hashem that it is He Who provides all materialistic things in this world that He will provide for you. AMEN.

  • to: CANNOT AFFORD

    TRUST in Hashem that it is He Who provides all materialistic things in this world that He will provide for you. AMEN.

    you do what g-d wants, and g-d wont punish you! you will certainly be rwarded with all the Rebbe’s promisses!