14 Comments

• SHADCHAN crises

  i have recently been told their is NO shidduch crises there is only a SHADCHAN crises

• someone

  and they should do some actualitations i have friends in that list they are actually marrien LONG time ago

• chana

  maybe they should actually update lists as i see many people on it already married with kids

• Eli Z

  The days of shadchainm are over. i have used this list many times and arranged shidduchim thru a family friend.

  all the shadchan does is give you 5 names, here i get more names and can get a friend to suggest it to the family that i am interested in.

  Speaking from experience I can tell you that most shidduchim that happen are not thru shadchanim! they are either thru mutual friends or a family member.

  The reason why it is like this is based on a few things;

  a. shadchanim do not call back and you have to chase them, it is a very time consuming and belittling

  b. when people call shadchanim they feel that they are shopping in a store with their “shopping list” and will only pick the item that suits all their demands. whereas when you have a mutual friend arranging the shidduch they try selling you this boy or girls and will convince you that even though they don’t fit exactly according to your list but “i’m telling you you should go for it”…

  there are only a few shadchanim who deal nicely and feel that it is a responsibility…

• Chaim

  if you see a name of someone who got married how about informing them?

• David

  Its funny how this is always limited to “gezhe” Lubavitche families, it would be nice to see a list (or an effort) for those not belonging to the Gezhe denomination that has for so long, fractured Lubavitch.

• Yonatan

  The list is a valid way to look for a shidduch. Sort the list according to city and then ask someone in that city for information on the singles listed there. It is not limited to gezhe but appears to be limited to those who are graduates of Chabad seminaries and smicha or shlichus programs. Graduates of BT sems and yeshivas usually do not have their names on that list. There are several efforts going on currently for non-gezhe singles as well as BT singles. A large shidduch conference gathering of many communities is scheduled to take place 1/18/09 in Chicago. Most of the attendees are not gezhe.
  Chabadmatch is also for any Chabad single. Today there are marriages between gezhe and non-gezhe. Gezhe Jews are the original Russian Lubavitchers (or their descendants) and therefore have not fractured Lubavitch.

• Zal

  Maybe make sure your the links on lubavitchsingles.com are actually working before you post it on the web!

• fraidy

  very nice
  \

• David

  Ok Yonatan,
  Your well-roundedness with regards to your knowledge of Chabad bureaucracy is self evident, which is probably why you dont realize the problem Lubavitch is experiencing.
  The are hundreds if not thousands of singles from the various Yeshivas, Zals, Smicha programs etc Chabad has. There are also plenty of girls from the Seminaries -they are not the only Chabad singles. Clearly there is a double standard here.
  Why arent there any eligible bachelors or bachlorettes with an actual REAL education? By REAL I mean an accredited university education, (not the scammed Master of Jewish Law degree hacked out by morristown) that allows these individuals to become something in life…
  For the record communities dont survive solely on the premise of producing Teachers, Rabbis, Shochtim and Shluchim… your gonna need a doctor, an engineer or a lawyer one day… and you will find one..but he wont be Lubavitch -since we have a ban on actually getting educated. That’s the point I was getting at.. quite sad..

• Yosef

  David,
  While your point is valid, it isn’t relevant to this topic. Those who left Yeshiva to pursue a college degree (and who are thus absent from the lists) would have no use for a service designed for the fundamentalists who stuck with the system.
  Also, your initial post posited your point poorly; it implied that you don’t know what ‘gezhe’ means. Yonatan’s post indicates that he knows of the (shiduch) problem, and is searching for both its cause and solution.

• Yonatan

  David, I hear what you are saying but lubavitchsingles.com is a vehicle for meeting singles, not a vocational service. If you log onto chabadmatch (you have to register to view singles profiles) or mitmazel (also a Lubavitch site) you will find some Lubavitcher singles with college degrees. Some gezhe singles also have degrees today. Women are marrying later due to the shidduch crisis and the number of them getting degrees while waiting has increased.

• tanya

  Yosef,
  I beg to differ… are you insinuating that since a boy or a girl is pursuing a degree in college they are no longer frum…???

  Just because someone’s getting education and will be making the money eventually, doesn’t mean they went off the deep end!
  They’re just as frum and just as in need of shidduch!

• DAVID

  IF YOU HAVE SOMTING IN MIND FOR A BOCHIR 30 YEARS OLD YESHIVA BOCHIR BUT I AM NOT LUBAVITCH BUT AT THIS AGE I DONT MIND FROM ALL KIND OFF CHASIDIS