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10 Proposed Rules for New York City Sidewalks

by Robert Selsam – Daily News

All the attention to and fuss over bike lanes has obscured a bigger issue affecting the public rights of way, namely the use of our sidewalks.

Manhattan sidewalks have become so congested with tourists and locals (officials estimate a 13% increase since 2007, according to reports) that it has become increasingly difficult to rely on walking to get where you’re going. Tourists, who often lack experience walking, do not realize that for us natives, this is a critical mode of transportation. We depend on it not just to stroll leisurely around, but to actually get from place to place. Also, some of us admittedly do not abide by simple rules of courtesy.

To remedy these problems, the following Pedestrian Code of Conduct is proposed:

No Zigzagging on the Sidewalk: $50 Fine.

We all know the “weaver” who meanders from one side to the other, cutting us off multiple times along the way. There is an exemption for the blind.

No Walking Three Abreast: $100 Fine per person, which doubles for each additional person.

What’s more frustrating than being stuck behind a wall of people walking 2 miles per hour? Three people or more holding hands (even including a swinging child) doubles the fine.

No Standing in a Crosswalk Zone for More than One Light Cycle: $75 Fine.

Talk about really creating mayhem! It’s okay to have to stop to get out a map, but don’t do it in the walking lanes, and for heaven’s sake, not in the crosswalk zone!

Failure to Maintain Minimum Speed of 3 mph: $50 Fine.

It only takes a few relaxed people to really impede flow on a busy sidewalk.

Failure to Stay Right: $50 Fine.

This issue is a particular problem for our English friends, who somehow think that staying left is the correct way to do things.

Walking a Dog with its Leash Running Perpendicular to the Sidewalk: $200 Fine.

Who hasn’t experienced a dog-walker with one of those retractable leashes creating a trip line running right across the sidewalk in front of them? Dog-walkers must use a short leash on sidewalks and train the dog to heel – or at least to walk directly in front of them.

Failure to Stay in Designated Walking Lanes: $50 Fine.

Certain areas like Fifth Ave. are so crowded that lane striping is required (see diagram above). Pedestrians are required to stay in their lane and maintain minimum speed.

Tourists Not Permitted in Special New Yorker Only Lanes: $100 Fine.

In some parts of midtown, a high-speed passing lane needs to be created in the street to accommodate high-speed New Yorkers.

Window-Shopping Outside of Designated Window-Shopping Zones: $50 Fine.

Where there is continuous retail, special zones would be designated for window-shopping, which must be done within the zone.

Bumping into others while using electronic devices: $50 Fine.

Cell phone and BlackBerry use are permitted, but they are no excuse for not observing the above rules.

How will we enforce this code? Citizen’s arrests are permitted by New York City residents, as the NYPD cannot possibly do it alone. The arresting citizen may waive the fine – provided that the offender submits to a five-minute lesson in proper walking techniques.

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20 Comments

  • Sara

    This would be incredible!!! Would make my life so much easier.
    But I have a hard time imagining it being enforced.

  • king willy ix

    and wherever the person was fined u have to give the money to the nearest local resident!

  • Declasse Intellectual

    All this is as in the past just claptrap and whitewash. The main design is by Bloomberg’s city hall to seperate your money for their pockets and thus to spend on the wasteful and useless projects. And who pays for the appeals process-just the taxpayer.

  • DaasTorah

    You really want the government to regulate how you walk on the sidewalk? This is insane.

  • Mavin

    Finally!!!
    insted of the NYPD wasting time on minor things like crime, morder, theft etc. We can give them a reall porpose of watching who is zigzagin on the side walks… brillient idea of using tax payers money….

  • Oh Man,

    This City is really desparate for money!

    I have another one to add to the list. Politicians standing on street corners, devising absurd rules for the City. Fine: Get out of office!

  • craziness

    They should place the walking escalators (not sure what they are called) like they have in the airport. This will ensure single file lines and speed of pedestrians.

  • Delph

    Check where CH.info lifted this article from – an article from the nydailynews.com .

    The article is featured there under the ‘opinion’ column. It’s just one person expressing his exasperation. Yhe proposal is Robert Selsam’s alone. The comments there don’t like it much either.

    It’s telling though, that his brief bio at the end of his column there says that he “previously served as director of planning for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and director of transportation and regional planning at the New York Department of City Planning.” Takes that kind of mind to think this one up.

    Btw, the guys complaining about being cut off by ‘zigzaggers’ are probably also the one ‘failing to maintain a minimum speed of 3 mph’. Since both are $50 you are probably getting fined either way.