Tuesday: Shloshim of Zevi Silver OBM

This Tuesday the family of Zevi Silver OBM will mark his Shloshim, and the entire community is invited. Chanie Vogel penned an essay remembering Zevi for the warrior he was, and how he never let his ailment stop him from helping others.

by Chanie Vogel

When I first thought of writing about Zevi, my first thoughts were, where do I begin? The Shabbos of Zevi’s Aufruf was extremely festive. As with all their children, Avremel and Hindie, my uncle and aunt invited their entire extended family over for the Friday night meal, including all of Zevi’s first cousins.  There were at least three tables.  I remember where I was sitting, next to my Bubby, A”H.

In retrospect this Shabbos would prove to be a prediction of Zevi’s life.  As each person stood up to wish him well, starting with Avremel his father, the theme was, Zevi you should be a real ‘chayol’ a warrior, someone who will not back down from adversity, and will meet a challenge head on.  (I don’t remember how it was linked to the parsha, but these speeches usually are, and I cannot help but marvel at how apropos it was.)

Quite a few of us traveled to Wisconsin for the wedding.  Wisconsin weather lived up to its name, and us New Yorkers got a taste of freezing temperatures, the type that most of us had never experienced before!

Zevi moved out to Mequon, Wisconsin.  As the chossid he was, immediately he became the Rabbi of the Jewish Home for the Aged, and started a life of Shlichus.  Life seemed to be perfect!  Zevi was helping others, Shani was pursuing her career, becoming a nutritionist, and the family rejoiced as they experienced four beautiful miracles in the form of Chaykie, Mendy, Sruly, and Tzury.  And then the bomb dropped.

When Zevi got sick, the predictions became reality. Zevi became a warrior! Little did we know how strong a person could be. Like his name, Binyamin Zev, his unwavering emunah could be compared to the character of a wolf. The leader of the pack, he was loyal to Hashem, and he was strong.  He took charge of his situation, and forged forward. When the going got tough, Zevi definitely got tougher.  He decided to give the fight for his life everything he had, and then some.

It was after some grueling and successful treatments that Zevi and Shani planned a Seudas Hoda’ah, choosing the date of Chai Ellul for the event.Zevi got up to talk and spoke of Emunah and Bitachon in Hashem. He spoke about cherishing one’s children, and spouse, looking for the maalos in one’s loved ones and appreciating them for that. One would have thought that life was grand!  In reality though, a few days before the seudah, to which all the doctors and nurses were invited, and all the plans were set in place, Zevi received ominous news. Unfortunately his disease was back. He decided to keep it quiet and not tell his parents, preferring that they enjoy Yom Tov.

After Sukkos, he told his father the truth. Avremel asked him, “Zevi, why did you go ahead with the Seudas Hoda’ah?”  His answer was simple, “Everything was set, and I realized I could show all these secular Jews how a frum yid deals with these situations.” He was determined to use this opportunity to make a Kiddush Hashem. Shani and Zevi kept the news to themselves, and put on a great show for the world. They were true Chassidim, going lifnim mishuras hadin.

About a year and a half ago, Zevi was scheduled for another surgery. The doctors called a conference, his entire medical team got together that day, about 10 different doctors and surgeons. The general opinion was extremely negative, why put him through all this pain, if his prognosis was so grim. They spoke to Zevi for over an hour. At the end, they asked him if he had any questions, to which Zevi said no. They asked him if had anything to add, and he again showed his true colors.  Zevi told the doctors, “Gentleman, my religion dictates that I do everything possible to prolong my life. I believe I have chosen the best team for the job. You go in tomorrow morning and do what  you have to, and whether I live or die, G-d will decide.” The doctors were in shock. How does a man after receiving such a bleak prognosis find the courage to express such faith? They thought they were going to tell Zevi the truth. Ha! He showed them and us, what we need to aspire to be, as true ma’aminim.

Zevi had a conversation about reality one day. He said, sometimes I will get a call, from family or friends. People want to know how I am doing, and I answer good. I will hang up the phone, and think, I had such a lousy day, why did I say I was fine?  He concluded with this thought, “That I can get up, and say brochos with my kids, and give them breakfast, and take them to school, that means things are good. “Yeah, lyed ich a bissel” (I suffer a bit) but I am alive, and I have another day under my belt! Optimism really was his middle name!

Who didn’t love Zevi? As a family man, he maximized his time with Shani and the kids. He worked hard, to take care of them.  As a part of a small community, he would ensure that there would be farbrengens, and imbue the participants with his ‘chayus’.  As a cousin, Zevi was part of all of us. He always had a ready smile, and a good thing to say to you.  Even as a friend, he always had a listening ear, from a man who understood his future. It was not a secret that classmates (themselves, family men) would take off work, book tickets, and fly to Mequon to keep Zevi company in the hospitals.  That Zevi was mechazek them, I have no doubt, because they kept returning for more!

As his illness progressed, he was able to be mezakeh ess horabim. People took on mitzvos, and tefillos for Zevi so that he should have the refuah sheleima we so desperately hoped for.  It gave meaning to the posuk of “Hiney ma tov uma naim sheves achim gam yachad.“ We never saw the relevancy more. He united so many of us, in his time of need. People I never met had the same goals as me, bentch licht a few minutes early, say tehillim, bake challah, take on a mitzvah so that Zevi should be zocheh to a miracle.

At his Levaya I was blown away by the fact that Zevi was buried next to our grandmother. Mrs. Leah Silver, was the epitome of grace, and refinement, how fitting for them, to be in such close proximity. After her family’s loss from the war, this woman, a true lady in every sense of the word, went on to raise a frum family, and show us all what emunah and bitachon are about. The lessons were certainly ingrained in Zevi, and his actions proved to be the link in the continuation of generations that will serve Hashem without asking why.

When they were sitting shiva for Zevi, people they never met came to be Menachem Avel. Connections were forged, that will give strength when the family will need it in their new reality. The outpouring of help, and support from family, friends and even strangers was incredible.  It all proved testament to who Zevi was. There were people who came in early for Gimmel Tammuz, just so that they could show their respects!

On behalf of Avremel, Hindie, Shani, the Silver siblings, and the Silver children, I want to take this opportunity to extend our gratitude to all of you who helped Zevi in his time of need. It is true, Zevi was a warrior, and he fought gallantly, but even the best warrior needs ammunition. To all those who helped him ‘suit up,’ we, the family say thank you. Your efforts kept him well supplied for the many years that he fought! You, the Lubavitcher community in every corner of the world, showed the true meaning of Chassidim Ein Mishpocha, and we can vouch for it.  From the phone calls, to the visits, nothing was lost on us.

Zevi lived in a small out of town community but the heart in Mequon beats large, and hard!   Especially Rabbi and Mrs. Dovid Rappaport and their families who head Lubavitch of Mequon, and including everyone else, that helped out when we needed you, may Hashem repay you with the brocha of healthy children, and nachas.

May the ahavas yisroel that you showed our family, and the achdus that ensued serve to bring Moshiach NOW, when we will all be reunited with our loved ones, together with our beloved Rebbe at the helm!

In shiva, many stories are usually told about the niftar.  We are trying to compile a treasure trove of these stories.  If anyone has a story that they can share with us, please email, WeLoveZevi@Gmail.com.

The family will commemorate the Shloshim of Binyomin Zev A”H ben Avraham Yosef, on Tuesday night, the 24th of Tammuz, (July 2nd) in Lubavitch Yeshiva at 8:30pm. The entire community is invited.