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Mazal Tov! 18 is Not A Crowd

Ynet

‘Less physical work.’ Rivkah and her baby

Rivkah, 44, of Jerusalem gives birth to her 18th baby, who is already an uncle of two and evens out score in household which is now comprised of nine girls and nine boys. ‘They came one by one,’ she says.

When she was young, Rivkah, a Jerusalem resident belonging to the Belz Hasidic movement, never dreamed that at the age of 44 she would be leaving the maternity ward with her 18th child.

It’s true that she herself comes from a large family – she has 15 brothers and sisters, but her husband comes from a much smaller family that includes ‘only’ five kids.

“We didn’t make a conscious decision to have 18 children,” she says with a smile. “They came one by one – thank God.”

Incidentally, the new addition to the family was born an uncle. His oldest brother already has two children, which makes Rivkah a proud grandmother. Another point for pride in her family – her 18 children are divided equally between the two sexes: Nine girls and nine boys.

‘Quiet? Not here!’

Rivkah knows what it’s like to grow up in a big family. Her childhood memories include a lot of noise and mayhem, but also lots of love and a house filled with life. Either way, she stresses, it’s a lot easier being a mom today than it was when she was a kid.

“When my mother was raising us, being a mother involved a lot more physical work than it does today,” she explained. “I remember how she had to launder and scrub all the diapers by hand. I especially remember piles and piles of laundry on Friday and before the holidays. I have two washing machines that work 24 hours a day; otherwise we wouldn’t be able to manage.

”These days raising children isn’t about the physical work; it’s more about maneuvering between everybody’s needs: This one needs an early bedtime, this one needs to read, that one needs his medication. Motherhood has become more of a mental strain than a physical one.“

What does your house look like?

”Our house is a house filled with mess and noise. If you’re looking for a quiet corner – don’t look for it here. We have a house filled with life. My mother always used to tell me that cemeteries are quiet and clean, houses with children aren’t. Noise is healthy. The children study, play, try all sorts of things together, they have a social life and friends that come over.“

Nevertheless, it can’t be easy being a mother to so many children.

”I used to think the more kids you have – the more stressed the parents. Today I see that people who have fewer children are more stressed than me. Children aren’t a reason for hardship or anger. It all depends on the person and how much he works on his or her character.

“I believe that you need to get up every morning and thank God for each and every soul he has given us. They are all healthy and whole, and that only gives me strength, it doesn’t take it away.”

Rivkah wears a very special bracelet on her wrist; it’s stamped with the names of her 17 children. The new baby, who as yet has no name, will also be added to the bracelet. And who knows, maybe the last three empty spaces will be filled in the future.

Does your husband help you out with the kids?

Until my eighth was born, I managed by myself, but when we got to eight, my husband saw that I needed help, so he started going to morning prayers even earlier so that he could get home by 7 am. Since then we’ve been getting the kids ready together every morning.

“My husband is the one who makes the kids’ sandwiches every morning; each one gets his or her favorite: Omelet, toast, fruit. It takes him almost an hour. Then the kids have their carpools to school, so that my mornings are usually free because I don’t work. My husband’s involvement in raising our children is something he saw growing up, and it’s the example he has passed on to our sons – a father who is a helpmate and partner.”

Special bracelet. Room for three more names

If you were wondering what kind of car suits a family with 18 children, we can reveal that there isn’t one. This family doesn’t own a car, since there just isn’t one that’s big enough. “A car isn’t enough for our family – we need a train. We use public transportation to get where we need to go. For my eldest son’s wedding we rented a van.”

‘Patience comes with the baby’

In contrast to raising the children, which Rivkah says has gotten easier over the years, the pregnancies have become a greater burden with each birth. Not necessarily because of the physical difficulty.

“During the first pregnancies no one scared me by telling me what could happen to the baby, but the older I got and the more children I had, the more stressful it became because those factors increase the likelihood of problems with the baby. This pregnancy, I’m already 44-years-old and the doctors were very concerned due to the statistics, but thankfully, not all children born to older mothers are born with problems.”

Did you undergo examinations during the pregnancy to see if there were any problems?

“Of course. Tests taken during the course of the pregnancy are important, not in order to have an abortion if a problem is discovered, but in order for the parents to be prepared before the baby comes.”

Since giving birth to her 14th child, Rivkah is very meticulous about getting some rest after each birth. She spends a few days convalescing at a special maternity convalescent home. “After the first two births I stayed with my mother to get some rest, but for the next 12 births I preferred to go home,” she explains.

“Then after the 14th birth, I decided to try the convalescent homes, because everyone spoke in favor of getting rest and told me that it rejuvenates. Happily, I found this to be very true.”

At the age of 44 and after 18 children, do you have the strength for another baby?

“You don’t need strength for the baby. You need strength for the big kids, the teenagers and the married kids. All the patience comes with the baby. I heard someone say that each baby is born with a loaf of bread in his hand, meaning that a baby is born with everything it needs. When the baby is created, love and patience are created with him; otherwise we wouldn’t be able to raise them.”

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39 Comments

  • So true!

    “You don’t need strength for the baby. You need strength for the big kids, the teenagers and the married kids.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  • What a Bracha !!!

    It’s mamosh a special Brocha to be zoche to bring so many healthy kinderlach into this world !

  • mb

    mazel tov the new baby –

    i only have 3 but have been told by friends who have 12 or more – it does get easier with the younger ones as you now have the older ones to help

    may hashem give to the strength to raise this beautiful family

    nachos from all your children and grand children

  • The missing question

    The missing questions who pays for all the food clothes, doctors etc.?

    And if your family can’t would you accept charity or public money?

  • so beautiful!!!!!

    children are our biggest Bracha, each one is a precious gift, th more the merrier. its so painful that some choose to close the lid on the most special keli….

  • From what I know

    Her husband has a very well paying job and is able to support them comfortably. I guess that with the 18 children G-d gave them 18 times the parnassah! Yasher Koach to them for doing what the Rebbe wanted all of us to do (not to say that everyone is capable or should have 18 children…).

  • mother of 4

    wow this is so beautiful..such a special woman. good luck and many more simchas!!

  • FP

    Reading this left me breathless what a wonderful article and wonderful family all the brochas and prayers of there whole family and all yiddin should be fullfilled now and in this may we see the end of GOLOUS NOW and please keep the positive news coming

  • ada

    Hi,
    I have four, I am going insane!!!
    do I want more? Yes!
    is it the best thing for my family and myself? no!

    you really have to know yourself.

  • not in CH

    kol hakovod. this women has her priorities straight. however, you do need $$$ to pay for everything. I heard that in CH tuition is so high that having more kids . . .
    Hashem gives the brocho for parnasa with each child. You see small families not managing both financially and physically and you see large families managing. So it is all in the hands of Hashem.
    Thank you for this article. More people should follow this woman’s life style.

  • JEM Farbrengen Club - 24 Teves

    Everyone should sign up for the JEM Farbrengen club and watch the 3rd sicha on 24 Teves Farbrengen. The Rebbe would be proud.
    Not that i thiunk every woman is capable of what this woman is, obviously, but the Rebbe specifically discusses supporting the children and Tution!

  • To Yossi #4

    You are a hero raising 4 yiddisher kinderlach. May Hashem bless you with everything you need to raise them LTorah LChuppah ulMaasim Tovim.

  • to #21

    i find it fnny u say that since most of crown heights is on government assistance! check your facts!

  • my opinion

    Having children is the greatest blessing ever! However you must be sure you could financialy, emotionally, and physically raise them. i see in the article she does not work and the husband doesnt sound like he earns a good enough income – honestly, in their case i think they r irresponsible.

    its also great the husband helps but its disguisting it took until the 8th child to help!

  • Yosi

    29 – Your are a total ignoramus!
    I can only guess that you are from a big lubavitch family, you now have some become “modern” and now think that it is wrong to have big families.
    Imagine, oh imagine if your mother decided you worth the money. It obvious the mother can handle it. What is irresponsible about bringing more good and outstanding citizens into this world?

    Sincerely,
    A real hipster
    who isnt afraid of being Jewish and Lubavitch

    PS- I wip my beard back and forth!

  • SICK

    tO MY OPINION. I THINK YOUR ATTITUDE IS DISGUSTING, TO PUT IT MILDLY. I WAS ONLY BLESSED WITH EIGHT AND CONSIDE EACH ONE A BLESSING. DID I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY? ABSOLUTELY NOT, BUT THAT’S BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HASHEM DECIDD, REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY CHILDREN I HAVE.
    THE REBBE ONCE TOLD AT A FARBRENGEN OF A WOMAN CARRYING HER CHILD AND WAS TOLD BY SOMEONE WHO WAS WISHING TO SYMPATHISE WITH THE POOR WOMAN “MY THAT’S SOME BURDEN YOUR CARRYING THERE”. AND THE WOMAN ANSWERED “THIS IS NOT A BURDEN, THIS IS A CHILD” THE REBBE CRIED AS HE SAID THESE WORDS. ASK ANY CHILDLESS COUPLE WHAT THEY WOULD DO FOR A CHILD!!!!YOU PEOPLE HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES MIXED UP, AND HASHEM DOESN’T SEEM TO ENTER THE PICTURE AT ALL. YOU SEEM TO KNOW BETTER THAN HASHEM WHAT IS THE BEST THINGS FOR YOU!!!!!! HOW PATHETIC THAT YOU STILL CALL YOURSELVES “LUBAVITDHERS, OR DO YOU?

  • TO 31

    to 31

    I ABSOLOUTLY DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU(AND I DONT THINK ANYBODY ELSE DOES), DONT BRING IN STORIES I DO NOT BELIVE THE REBBE WOULD EVEN SAY.

  • to #s 30 & 31

    The rest of the secular world and even modern orthodox world agrees with me. of course i cant wait to have children! but im studying to be a health professional (and nearly done) so i can raise a large family without worrying how to provide for them WHILE my husband also does the same. of course family comes first, and they r first priority after work for both of us. but thankfully we will be able to provide for them without worry of financial troubles.

    btw, what makes you think im lubavitch. didnt grow up and wouldnt ever want to be.

  • to#8

    to #8 did they not ask u for $. dont assum that there beggeres, its not nice of u. plz ask forgivness

  • Yankele

    Mazal Tov. May you and your family share only simchas together in health and happiness

  • In awe

    wow
    what am inspiration and kiddush hashem. A couple with their head screwed on straight. If they are able to accomplish this it is a tremendous zechus and brings Moshiach 18 neshamos nearer to the Geula.

  • Congratulations

    Mazal Tov to this woman, you are doing good job.
    I’m pregnant on my 4th child, and I was worried how we are going to handle it. But when I read this article, I understood more that everything is in Hashem’s hands. And I’m willing to have more kids in the future, with no worries.

    Thank You