Building bonds: Program teams teens with special needs children

Westport, CT – When Shira Burstein befriended 8-year-old Tal four years ago, she wasn’t sure how long the friendship would last.

A volunteer with the Friendship Circle, Burstein had been assigned to be Tal’s buddy. The nonprofit program matches teen mentors with children who have special needs.

Burstein, then a junior at Westhill High School, had worked with children with developmental disabilities at the school. But playing with young Tal, who is autistic, was a greater challenge, she said.

She was intimidated by Tal’s silence and her screams.

“The first day I came home from visiting (with Tal), I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it,” said Burstein, 21, now a senior at Clark University in Massachusetts. “I didn’t think I was cut out for this.”

But with each weekly visit, their bond grew. Burstein and Tal would put together puzzles and have dance parties.

“The times that we made her laugh and when we could get her to dance made me feel good,” Burstein said. “It seemed like my time was worth something.”

Burstein was among 175 Friendship Circle volunteers honored Monday for their efforts at a ceremony held at the Inn at Longshore in Westport. The event drew more than 500 volunteers and families.

Event co-chairwoman Tanya Barton, said the time volunteers have spent with her son, Daniel, who has autism, have helped him blossom.

“He smiles when he sees his friends. He’s not shy in social situations,” she said. “They have truly brought sunshine, light and friendship to our family.”

Many other parents expressed gratitude for the impact the volunteers have had on their children’s lives.

Stamford resident Hildi Todrin said her 7-year-old daughter, Maya, who is hearing-impaired, always races to the front door to greet Friendship Circle volunteers on Sunday mornings because she knows the day is reserved for coloring and playing with her friends.

“At 7, having older kids want to spend time with her is very cool. She gets to be in the spotlight and be the star, and it’s pure fun,” Todrin said.

Chabad Lubavitch of Fairfield County started the free program four years ago to provide a social outlet for special needs children who are often excluded from mainstream activities, regional director Rabbi Yisrael Deren said. Friendship Circle serves Fairfield County, including Norwalk and Greenwich.

The volunteers, who donate a couple of hours a week, allow the children to experience life outside of the therapists, doctors and specialists, and participate in basic activities all youngsters should enjoy, he said.

“They’re there to be friends,” Deren said.

Chabad Lubavitch is one of the largest Jewish Orthodox movements worldwide, and is dedicated to education and promoting Jewish awareness.

More than 100 children with special needs and their families participate in the yearlong program. Friendship Circle matches up two volunteers, mainly high school students, to visit a child weekly at their homes, and also offers other activities, including day camps and dance classes. The program is open to children with special needs ranging from elementary to high-school aged. The Friendship Circle is active in more than 25 cities nationwide through Chabad Lubavitch.

Volunteer Melissa Tehrani, 16, of Stamford, said spending time with her 7-year-old friend Mark has taught her to appreciate the mobility and freedom she sometimes takes for granted. Melissa has visited Mark, who has autism, every week for the past two years.

“You see through a 7-year-old how beautiful life is and how much we should appreciate it,” she said. “I’ve learned from him as much as he’s learned from me.”