81 Comments

• bracha

  well said..

• Dina Wolf

  I agree. But we can’t let this way of life become normal, our children have to know and most know what a Chossid is supposed to look like. As much as looks done mean anything there are certain things that by Chassidim we never went over and kept to certain guide lines.

  Thank you Rabbi Pinson and Rabbi Jacobsen

• username

  “well said..”?

  or

  well, sad.

• ch resident

  didnt the Rebbe MHM once refer to a big baal tzedoko as one who could in fact be deemed more religious than a practicing religious person?

• well said

  wow- well said- and thank you for taking the time to write what many – at least I are thinking.

• Don-tBeASoreLoser

  Sorry, a weak attempt at justifying a sad wrong. zero points.

• me

  GOOD ARTICLE….
  Ive always said it and know it for a fact….
  You dont have to dress frum to be frum
  im not saying having a beard or not makes u frum, but I know people first hand, long beards, hats , learns all day etc that by night they are up to no good. I’m not saying C’V that all are, but appearances mean nothing to me.

• Mendel

  I cannot agree more, but everyone can improve here, 1)Ahavas Yisroel 2)Hadras Ponim

  (food for thought: many Shluchim do not allow their balabtim to put on a kapota etc. unless they first do many things, with one of them being a beard, so a Kapota w/o a beard is a bit of an oxymoron)

• excuses.

  mitzad me, I have a responsibility to ‘vehavta l’reyacha kamocha’. mitzad you, you need your beard.

• Facial

  There is a story with R’ Yoel of Satmar,

  One of his chasidim would constantly badger an unbearded man who was close to their movement. When R’ Yoel heard of this he said,They will say to the unbearded man in shamayim “Yid Yid vu is der berd” to the other man they will say “berd berd vu is der yid”.

• Fact

  This is the fact of life – If this was done in 770 Beis Shmuel will be a no show, because they will say they are above CH and above the few yechi crazy guys that are there. it was about CH coming to daven at THEIR shul!

  True Achudus will be in 770 krinsky groner klein everyone from upstairs – yechi and non-yechi Davening together as it was before gimmel tammuz not 1000 people but 10,000 – all of CH – that will be true Achdus

• misunderstood

  as a chabad chossid, i dont hate you for cutting your beard. but i wouldn’t want you to label yourself a chabad chossid when your oppenly, in everyones face, flaunting the fact that you dont care about what chassidim throughout the ages have sacrificed their lives for.
  again i love you as a jew, but your not a lubavitcher

• inside looking in

  disappointing. this stinks of using the worst tradgedy to shed a positive/neutral light on something that is totally unconnected. regardless of how you look at others or this issue, this is a troubling response to the murder of a young couple. totally inappropriate.

• T S

  Interesting that the commraderie done by the community/hakhel shaboos day spawns this OpEd, but anyway, on the topic of beards and ahavas yisroel –

  1. It would do everyone who has a passionate opinion on beards and lubavitch, to study well why lubavitch doesn’t, by policy, touch their beard. (BTW – Study well does NOT mean ask the guy sitting next to you. It means to get the facts from the judaic textbooks (or from seasoned, certified, ordained, lubavitcher rabbis [not just the PR-hyped ones])

  2. Regardless of (and in addition to) Lubavitch theology on beards, there’s fundamental jewish, fundamental lubavitch, and fundamental socio-democratic law to respect your fellow man even if he has behaviour/dress different than you. Such respect includes to value them and their opinion, for matters in which you don’t have difference of opinion.

  3. In many situations of disagreement, a common ploy is to attack the messenger and not the message. This is done usually when someone has a losing or fragile position and needs to deflect the weight of the opposition. By shifting focus on the others personal shortcoming diverts the attention away from their frgaile position of the initial matter at hand.

  If you ever find yourself focusing on the person with whom you argue and not on the issue matter itself, know that you probably know on some level that you have the incorrect/losing postion (but can’t/won’t admit it).

• izzy

  We Love you and therefore we need to tell you the truth, someone who lost his spiritual sensitivity and touches his beard shows a lot where he stands etc.
  I am talking about the phononeman not someone specific.

  It’s never easy to hear the truth about you etc.

  It doesn’t mean you can’t do good deed and great things, i think what you guys did is AMAZING.

  But don’t kis yourself for hounderds of years we Chabad fuaght for our beards

• enough with them

  to FACT who you fooling it would never be the same in 770, many people would including me would not have showed up if it were there cause the few crazy nut jobs that are there. great job bais shmuel if people dont like what your doing let them not show up.
  achdus is when everyone as one sings together not when one group decides when and what to do at their own time.

• remember REB OSHER

  long time ago was a chosid in 770 name reb osher batumer

  reb osher l”a had the no good sickness. doctors recomended

  chimo and reb osher refused. why ? because reb osher did not

  want to loose his beard . he suffer but he past away with his

  long beard.

• ch

  It kinda sounds like this wonderful Author is taking a few snooty comments much too personal, and too much the heart. Everybody has their own way of serving hashem, that means, toil of his own personal capabilities! Tell the commenter: “I am not you and you are DEFINITELY not in the same standing as I am” So let’s just continue living our lives aspiring to bring Moshiach closer.

  Food for thought: “Al tisbayesh m’pnei hamaligim”

• Chabad munt pnimous

  ‘But we can’t let this way of life become normal, our children have to know and most know what a Chossid is supposed to look like.’

  Indeed! They must also know that we do not cheat, lie and steal. Why do we allow those that are bifrhesya caught doing these things were in, on their way in, or just came out of jail command such respect?! Where are our priorities?

• Really?

  To Mendle

  you write “(food for thought: many Shluchim do not allow their balabtim to put on a kapota etc. unless they first do many things, with one of them being a beard, so a Kapota w/o a beard is a bit of an oxymoron)”
  Umm, no it isn’t. Just because many shluchim do it that way, does not mean anything. If a thousand friends and I decide that we will not eat ice cream with chocolate chips, on tuesday, and you decide you will eat it, that does not make it a “bit of a oxymoron”

• CEE

  So many people standing so high on their perches.

  How many “beards” are doing so many terrible unspeakable things in our community.

  Please. I think this is just a knee jerk reaction from the “old guard” who have become grossly accustomed the the status quo and all the bickering and inner community politics.

  It’s time for a new wave of leadership and inspiration in Crown Heights, let them write negative comments on websites, that’s about as active as they will get anyway.

• Alien

  To crown heights resident.

  I quote “didnt the Rebbe MHM once refer to a big baal tzedoko as one who could in fact be deemed more religious than a practicing religious person?”

  Could be, also could be aliens landed in Roswell New Mexico.

  My point; unless you have a clear written source, don’t just spew words.

• To Misunderstood

  “again i love you as a jew, but your not a lubavitcher”

  Can you point me to an Igros Kodesh where the Rebbe says something along these lines? Many early chasidim of the Rebbe (and Friediker Rebbe) did not have beards. The best I can recollect is where the Rebbe gently nudged those to grow their beards (and wear kapottas). Many of today’s chasidim that are 70+ did not have beards at one point in their lives.

• Bais Shmuel = Young Israel of CH

  from what I observed on Shabbos in OT was that Bais Shmuel did this good thing for the same reason a Goy does a good thing BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD. Chzer Fisef Kosher
  Not because they want to do the right thing.
  If they wanted to do the right thing they would have pushed for everyone to go doven in REBBE’S SHUL 770.
  The fact is they wanted everyone to know that this was The good hearted members of Basi Shmuel doing it and you know what I would rather doven in the REBBE’S SHUL.
  Wwhen I go to Bais Shmuel I feel like I am at a Young Israel shul NOT A CHABAD SHUL

  WE NEED CHASIDISHE LEADERSHIP

• Rochel

  I really can’t understand these ridiculous comments…and for ahavas yisroel’s sake, I am trying to understand.

  focusing on beards? when we are trying to unite yiddin? its so sad that all of you do not know what ‘ahavas yisroel means, and how much it meant to the Rebbe.

  if you asked the Rebbe to pick between ahavas yisroel and beards…AY wins, hands down.

  be a good chossid, and do not even notice how long your fellow jew’s beard is!

• observer

  I think this was a really great article. It’s point rings true. instead of looding around and seeing whats wrong, and exploiting that, it tells us to switch our focus.
  It’s quite obvious from the tone of the various comments, what the attitude of their authors is. Are they interested in just venting, or do they care about their fellows, and want to help others.
  To all of you out there who are so outraged about other people’s lack of beards I ask, what’s bothering you? Are you really upset that a fellow lubavitcher isn’t growing his beard? If so, then I guarantee that your comments here won’t help one bit, to the contrary, they might only enrage a few.
  I’m sure you can think of many ways to influence others in a positive way, after all that’s how we’ve been brought up!
  We are all Humans and have our own yetzer harah, what may seem so obvious and simple to you, may be another’s greatest challenge. When you feel outraged, and can’t fathom how another presumes to be a lubavitcher without a beard, one should do some real reflection, and see where one’s own ‘beard’ is missing, and needs to be grown!

• cjer

  there are so many stories of chassadim going above and beyond to make sure their beards remained untouched, and so many stories of the unblieveable Ahavas Yisroel chassadim had throughout the generations. One does not negate the other, they are not mutually exclusive. You can have Ahavas Yisroel, AND a beard. And you can have one and not the other. The ahavas Yisroel is great, but u still need to work on the beard, just like u work on ahavas yisroel. Everyone has their struggles, maybe this is yours.

• the point is...

  Most of you have missed the point. The author is not saying it is correct to not have a beard. Far from it. He agress how important it is, as a Chassid. The point is, have more Ahavas Yisroel, and stop putting people down.

• yankie

  I think that all the negative reactions will only give the boys of beis shmuel strength to make more and more get together’s for the community ,like Chanukah, Purim,pesach,
  enjoy all the comments good and bad

  to Moshe pinson and his solders in the rebbes army

  kol hacoved

• Wrong Question

  While negative remarks on a such a positive event of unity are repugnant, and defeat the very purpose of the event (achdus and ahavas Yisroel, the non-judgemental gist of the article does not belong here.

  We must accept and be non-judgemental of those who do not know better, but we dare not make excuses for those who do.

  So, instead, perhaps the title should better read: To Love or Not to Love.

  It should not say: To Beard or Not to Beard. There is no room for a question like that in the religious freedom of America.

• Open minded

  Thank you to all those that organized this shabbos you did an amazing job, it was truly beautiful.

  I do agree with this Op-Ed, Ahavas yisroel is the most important thing however I can’t agree more with the comment about the Shluchim that don’t let there balei battim wear a kapote until they have a beard, you can’t just pick and choose what is easy ……

  Yes you can say that everyone has their struggles, so you know it is one thing if a person is doing minor touching here and there, that is his problem as is the kashrus in his home etc. however clean shaven or a proper clean trim or close trim this is just out in the open and brings down the level of the community, what are we meant to tell our kids? (What will you tell yours?).

  Yes I love you as a Jew as we should all love each other and am thrilled with anyone who partook in this shabbos however please don’t pick and choose if you cant grow your beard at least to look respectful then don’t wear a kapote and if you really need to wear a ring once you are married then maybe Crown heights is not the community for you, there are many other nice communities out there. Otherwise you remind me of those poilisher that take off there beards but leave there long paios!!!

  I think the same applies with the woman and tznius no one is asking you to wear bullet proof stockings or nerdy clothes or is looking at what you do at home; everyone has there level and there struggles however there is something called respect for the community …. So please the minimum try cover your knees at least not a slit half way up … , don’t wear flip-flops in the street even if for you it is really to hard to wear tights in the summer and even if your not going to exactly cover the collar bone you don’t need to show all. No one is asking you to wear clothes 2 sizes to big but you don’t need to wear skintight clothes that every time you move doesn’t cover anything!!! (if you cant even cover your hair in public then the same applies as the guy who must wear a ring) I am not talking even mitzad halacha here just common sense, if you cant do the best (you have your struggles) fine but at least try!!

  YOU CAN DRESS STYLISH AND WITH THE FASHION YET STILL TZNIUS!!

• someone

  Just read Rabbi Heller’s Drosho of last week.

• FN

  “The vanity of others runs counter to our taste only when it runs counter to our vanity.” FN

• define ahavas yisroel

  Is it not not ahavas yisroel to tell a yid that he is doing an avaira?? and it is an avaira…especialy for people who know better. not Holocaust survivors or mekurovim. but i still love them and would give my life for every yid. I wish people would tell me if/when i do something wrong

• thoughts from a farvorfene shaliach

  Loving our fellow Jew is the cornerstone of yiddishkeit.
  We love any Jew who walks through our Chabad house doors.
  But if someone walks in claiming to be Jewish and expecting love, but he is wearing a big cross around his neck, I will a) ask him to remove the cross, and b) if he refuses, have some serious doubts as to the authenticity of his claim to Jewishness.
  For a Lubavitcher to ‘tcheper’ his beard is for a Jew to wear a cross. Enough has been published (over one-thousand pagex in hadras ponim zoken!) on the position of Lubavitch on beards, and to deny that is to be a kofer b’Lubavitch b’farhesia. Sure, many people who have long beards are doing all kinds of aveiros ‘unter di koldera’. And they deserve to be reprimanded – in accordance with Shulchan Aruch – for those sins. But ‘tchepering’ a beard is an in-your-face, public display of disdain for being a Lubavitcher, and completely oxymoronic to a claim of being Lubavitch.
  I love those smooth chins anyhow – for their Jewishness and perhaps for their movie-star good looks:). But not for their chassidishkeit or Lubavitch-ness.

• nechama

  One has nothing to do with the other. Let’s keep the two separate.
  Ahavas Yisroel is one issue, which we all have to have.
  Beards are a completely separate issue. The real question is what has happened that makes people not take pride in the fact that they are Lubavitchers and too timid to show it by growing their beard.

• to Don-tBeASoreLoser

  This was a hakhel in honor of the Shluchim HYD. You are embarrasing the rebbes entire army of shluchim. and are being “kalt ve Amelek” to the idea of hakhel. It happens to be that most of the members of Beis Shmuel have beards. AND THE EMBARASSING FACT IS THAT YOU WERE NOT THERE!!!

  If you keep up this attitude in life your children won’t either have beards. There were many great chassidim in Russia who did not have beards, and the rebbe clearly said “in their town in was normal not to wear a beard” and the rebbe addressed only their strengths.

  If you keep this up I tell you go to Bnei Brak, The shita of Mussar is well accepted there. NOT HERE

• na na na na

  Nechama! Well said.
  everyone together now – I’m chabad and i’m PROUD and i’ll sing it out loud cuz FOREVER that’s what WE’LL be, Oh Yeah!!
  Moshiach NOW!
  Isn’t that the point!

• Lubavitch citizen or chassid?

  “If a non-Chabadnik without a beard would walk into a Chabad House, would he be judged because he does not have a beard?”

  Well, it all depends from what direction the person is coming from. You can’t compeer a person that grow up and educated in a “Chassidic” school with a Rebbe, a father and grandfather with a beard etc… To a person that walks in to a Chabad house.

  I remember working with this Bocher (from ours) who went off the Derech (for a while). He was not Shomer Shabbos and had a girl friend but he had a necklace with a picture of the Rebbe engraved on it (with Yechi). To point out, this is a guy who learned Shmicha and knew his stuff (very smart person, learned allot back in Yeshiva). I knew him from before so we spoke feely.
  I asked him one day whether the Rebbe (who he holds is Moshiach ;)) would see him with the necklace, what would he say, would he proud?
  So he gets all angry and on the defense “the Rebbe would be proud…”you don’t know how many Avaras/sins this necklace has stopped me from doing etc..

  I told him (in a nice way) to stop hacking ah Chanik, if you were not Frum telling me the above then fine (for you it’s good etc..) but your a Tammim, you learned in Tomchi Temimim, the necklace is just to make you feel good etc… (Like L’havdel the Goyim doing a sin and then crossing themselves-fe nu). This is a person who the boss would have to beg to wear a Kipa just out of respect (for the costumers). In other words, he’s not keeping Shabbos (in the open, may I add) and g-d knows what else, but he feels all good about himself because he has this necklace. (A good Sicho on this approach -Likutei Sichos Vol. 1, p183ff.).

  V’dal

  (it seems the Kaputa is the “necklace” for some, as a beard may be for others).

• g-d bless you all

  I don’t have a beard. I grew up in lubavitch but decided as an adult that I am not a lubavitcher. I keep shobbos, put on tefillin every day and give tzedaka.

  Many lubavitchers consider me an apikoris for not being like them. G-d bless them all

• shmuli

  what a ridiculous article.

  surely we must love and even learn from every person. But to say we must look up to people without beards is totaly obsurd.

  It’s like saying we must look up to snags because they do good stuff.

  surely we love them with a full heart, as we do every Jew, but to look up to them? Heaven forbid.

  –
  I’m only responding to the above article.

  However, I don’t undersand what this has to do with Bais Shmuel or the wonderful Shabbos Hakhel they have organized. I was there it was awesome.

  I am sure that the few members of Beis Shmuel who don’t have beards yet will join their many fellow members with full beards in the near future. “oir doiche choishech” Especialy with a rov such as the asteemed Rabbi Yossi Jacobson, they will surely come closer as the many attendees in Chabad Houses around the world. Go Bais Shmuel.

• excuses (here they come)

  I love how for the sake of “love your fellow Jew” etc…
  people are trying to excuse people who shave their beards (which is one of the (at least in an outer manner) the main tenants of being a CHABAD Chissid (of course you must also learn, Nigla and Chasidise, be a Mensch etc… (whether you consider yourself a chossid or not you must always be a Mensch).
  (are these the same people who always try to excuse others of doing violent acts, are these the same people that are always trying to excuse Mesira etc… all for the sake of “lovre your fellow Jew”? is that what it means?)

  All you have to do to grow a beard is grow a beard (don’t touch). You think of yourself as a Chossid, start with that challenge. (by the way, nobody is looking at you, nobody is checking you out, if your married what difference does it make, who are you trying to impress? your wife (g-d have mercy!).

  If you are touching your beard what chance to your kids have (of having a beard)?

• anon

  YOU, don’t get to decide who is a good Jew or a good chossid.

  If you are secure in your beliefs, you won’t feel the need to put others down. And then, if you feel someone needs some mussar for their own good, you will do it the right way.Words from the heart enter the heart…

  btw, the comment “some shluchim don’t let their balabatim do x” is really weird. People, given education and inspiration improve at different paces and ways, since when is that dictated?

• Stop it already!

  I would recommend that CrownHeigts.info remove its comment section. It is embarrassing to ourselves as a community to read many comments voiced without thought, or worse yet, used as a forum to circulate and generate Loshon Hora and Sinas Chinam. (and try to undo positive) While it would be nice if we all thought wonderful things about each other all the time, let’s at least have the benefit of keeping quiet if we have nothing nice to say. Or at the VERY LEAST – don’t air out the dirty laundry on the world wide web. And please – to whoever runs this website – does it not bother you, that with your help, so many negative, hateful comments are allowed to be aired?! We all so urgently need Moshiach now – our community has had so much more than enough! Can’t we add in goodness and kindness, to help end our suffering. JUST STOP ALLOWING THIS FILTH TO CONTINUE!

• farvorfene shaliach continues

  My post has absolutely nothing to do with the Hakhel-Achdus program that took place this past Shabbos; that was an amazing event and the organizers should be blessed bakol mikol kol regardless of who they are (or the length of their beards!). It was a response only to the editorial about bearding.
  But as I already got dozens of questions; allow me to elaborate.
  If a Chabad Chossid decides to follow the psak of Rav Moshe and daven nusach ashkenaz (‘cuz that’s the “best” [sic]), and the psak of Reb Yaakov and not put on Rabbeinu Tam, and the psak of Rav Shach and not learn Chassidus until he finishes shas rishonim and acharonim, and the psak of Rav Elyashiv to sleep in the succah… … … is he a Chabad Chossid?
  I would not belittle him, indeed, I will continue to love him for who he is and whatever he is! But not as a Chabad chossid — because he isn’t! He is not following minhagei hachasidus or darkei hachasidus. Nor is he, if he tcheppes his beard. He is a supporter of Chabad, a friend of Chabad, an affiliate of Chabad, a gutter Yid, a finer yungerman, an admirer of the Rebbe… but not a Chabad Chossid.
  A Jew cannot say “I’m frum, just I’m not shomer Shabbos.” Nor, “I’m frum, just I’m not shomer tznius.” Nor, “I’m Chabad, just I’m not shomer hazoken.” It doesn’t make any sense; it will not work.
  May the wonderful achdus we’ve witnessed open up the tzinor of achdus amitis and the Geula shelaima tum”m!

• ibr

  I think part of the point of all of this is that it is not in any individual’s jurisdiction to judge other people’s Chassidishkeit, Lubavitch-ness, or whatever. You are certainly allowed to be disturbed by general trends – but the obvious reaction to being disturbed by these things is to educate your children properly, hold by your own convictions…if you’re looking for the Torah-consistent way to treat people without beards the answer is to ACCEPT THEM UNEQUIVOCALLY. What GOOD does it do at all to impose your own interpretations of what is appropriate on other people? If nothing else experience will tell you it is both fruitless and hurtful. People have struggles, and ideas you may not agree with, and if that makes you more angry than the things that cause these people’s struggles, then your head is in the wrong place!

• anonymous

  this is a very nice and well – written article.
  if any of you disagree, why should anyone have to hear it?

• Me

  Lubavitchers are just like the Amish — except with mustaches and little in the way of real world skills like growing potatoes or building homes. Instead, they prefer to bicker and tear homes down.

• BSM

  The Event was a beautifil event and the people who arranged it i believe had all the good intensions in mind.

  Of course there are going to be people who critisize every thing we cant let that bring us down we stand as one and just because so CRITICS said something bad do you think we care. NO WE HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD stronger community no more fighting its all a waste of time when something bad happens we all get together but right after we fight you know what it shows WHEN IT COMES DOWN WE ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT.

  I think its time to start a new community council where the people working there are not just there for the pay check but they are there to help people I dont see them helping any one and when i go in there they are nasty and rude to me its a serius problem that these are the people running our community .

  BEARD OR NO BEARD we all have to have Ahavas Yisroel for one another and start addressing the much more serious problems in CRown hieghts Like teens FRYING OUT or getting together with girls ETC ETC. WE all know that people need help now with the situation thats going on in america and lets focus on makeing things better as a community FOR THE COMMUNITY

• sb

  I hope everyone in Bais Shmuel reads all the negative comments here and gains chizzuk from the fact that people can laugh and be cynical, but they will continue with the same love for this community as before! True leadership is slapping us in the face! Wake up.

• I am in utter shock

  After all that just occurred in the world, I am in utter shock to have even read these hostile comments about a shabbos put together by good hearted young men of our community, that are actually ‘doing something good’ instead of just sitting around and talking..’we should do this, we should do that’
  Wasn’t the loudest message we heard after the tragic nightmare of the holtzberg’s that instead of fighting back- we should do good–and look at all of you that are sitting and wasting your time making fun of a bunch of hardworking men who spent hours putting together a beautiful shabbos, and all’s you have to say is negativity, and hostile comments and sounds more like fighting than anything else…didn’t we just hear that the lesson we should take out from the tragedy is to fight the world with good and not with armor??!!!!!! what is wrong with all of you people? did you forget why the beis hamikdosh was destroyed??? give up already on your beards shmeards and making believe this and that, as that’s not the most important thing is this world-WAKE UP ALREADY–and go do some good instead of wasting your time fighting and criticizing people. You will not get through to them through fighting, if anything only by being loving and doing good things…so go do something good…you all have your work cut out for you…

• Get used to it

  Lubavitch is rapidly becoming Modern Orthodox with a kapote and kids named Mendel and Mushky.

  We cut off our beards, walk around in mini skirts, the focal point of our living rooms is no longer an extensive library of sefarim; rather it is the 52″ plasma tv proudly hanging on the wall…

• sad

  Rabbi Gancz said it well, when he spoke recently. “Being silent when someone is committing an issur equals acceptance- and is what is allowing all the terrible negative trends to flourish at a horrific rate.” By accepting the brazen actions that put chabad to shame- by merely not saying anything and ignoring it- they are made to feel comfortable to continue and easy for many to join, unfortunately. the fact that lubavitchers feel comforable to touch beards and be so untznius is the entire communities problem that a fellow lubavitcher can do it without the slightest feeling of discomfort or feeling “out of place”. so yes, of course we love every jew but actions like these need to be spoken about publicly to heighten the sensitivity to it.
  of course I admire what was done this shabbos, and don’t think it negates the above- definitely a positive and beautiful event.

• 100% WRONG

  The same torah which you quote commanding the mitzvah of ahavas yisroel demands that a jew keep a beard, touching your beard is 100% wrong no matter which way you put it stop trying to justify it and stop allowing my children to see you this way and think it is okay i love you because you are my fellow jew fellow chossid and you need to be told to cut the “ ” TOUCHING YOUR BEARD IS WRONG AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CRY YOU MISS THE REBBE OR HOW MUCH MONEY YOU GIVE SHLUCHIM OR IF YOU MAKE KIDDUSH ON MASHKE TOUCHING YOUR BEARD IS WRONG ……

• happy

  I thank them very much for shabbos i had a good time. but its a dangeros game your playing [so to speak] to put them as some one to look up to. let them pay and have others run public avents. let just say for the kids its not so healthy.

• O.T. Student from -73-76

  Wow! I don’t know where to begin. My son-in-law wears a full beard and my sons also wear full beards, however I don’t. I respect them and they respect me. I am also respected by all my friends. I don’t claim to be a big Lubavitcher Chosid but I do take pride in being an alumni of the great Oheli Torah school of Troy Avenue. That is a badge of honor for me. Knocking someone or humiliating someone was not the Rebba’s way. Of course, I’ve taught my sons not to burn their bridges for Sheiduchim so they understand the importance of wearing a beard. Getting someone to do the right thing can be done through love, not harassing or badgering or humiliating. I hope all past and future posts on this subject will see the light.

• Observer

  “Umm, no it isn’t. Just because many shluchim do it that way, does not mean anything. If a thousand friends and I decide that we will not eat ice cream with chocolate chips, on tuesday, and you decide you will eat it, that does not make it a “bit of a oxymoron” ”

  Yes it is.A beard is a halachic obligation . A kapote is not .Period end of story . But Ahavas Yisrael is also a halachic obligation.

• ceo

  anyone who grew up under the Rebbe is not going to think that not having a beard is the ultimate. Somewhere in there, they know what the Rebbe wants. His other brothers and cousins believe also that he will make his way towards more of the Rebbes inyonim.
  They also have a place inside that wants just what the writer of this OpEd offered…..love and acceptance, so they can grow and move on from there.
  Thankyou that was beautiful.
  My son is “one” of the “not to beards” right now, and he is getting alot of love from the most successful and devoted Chassidim of the Rebbe (the ones in their 30’s). Those people shine incredibly. They are so sure of the Rebbe, and Torah and Chassidus that they have no worry but to give this kind of Ahavas Yisroel unconditionally.
  It does make a difference.
  The Bubbes and Zeides in his family are watching him, and somehow know that he will make his way back because they too, love him and have found the way to just love him. This is where it starts. We have alot to learn. Don’t feel bad that you don’t understand this way of thinking. Just daven that dem abishten gebt de chochma tzu farshtain vi tzu ton dos.

• Leibel

  After 46 comments, I decided to share my initial thoughts for what they are worth. It’s amazing what the organizers and Bais Shmuel did. No question. But are we now holding unzerer kinder grown up in Lubavitch to the standards of a frai’er Jew that walks into any Chabad House? It hit me like a ton of bricks how many fathers touch their beard. Look at the Father-Son Melave Malka at ULY. How many without knowing would think this is a Yeshiva in Flatbush? The proof is in the pudding. The Shabbos they organized only shows the incredible koichois the Rebbe instilled in EVERY chossid. But no Hadras Ponim? And we feel comfortable with that? One is not a stira to the other. We can’t be comfortable what is clearly heppech chassidus and Torah! The minute we start seeing shluchim trimming their beards, then what?!

• Just a guy

  I, as one who has been through he Lubavitch ‘system’, and is now just a regular Baal Habo’os trying o make sure that my children love Yiddishkeit and what it means to be Jewish. How many ‘Shluchim’, and other people who claim to be such high-and mighty’s in Lubavitch circles don’t even know what their own family members are up to. A beard is a sign of a Lubavitcher Chosid, but is not the ONLY sign. As mashpia of mine once said, what makes a Lubavitcher, learning Chabad Chassidus….plain and simple. These people who think that their children and grandchildren will be such holy Chassidim because hy have beards, hese people need a real dose of reality. We are losing more and more youth who are going off the path of Frumkeit, BECAUSE they have grown up hearing that it is Lubavitch or nothing. This is the problem. It is OK to be frum….that is what people need to preach.

• Mendy

  how wonderful…
  Just a few days ago the entire Jewish world banded together in an unprecedented display of unity, to pray and mourn for two Shluchim.
  How sad to see this bickering now…

  My plea is to the website editors.
  You have the power to control what goes on here. PLEASE BLOCK THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS!

• TRUTH-EMES (is hard to hear)

  Those who don’t have a beard or have family with out a beard are trying to explain themselves away (using “love your fellow Jew” as a weapon etc…)

  I myself have family that touch their beard, i don’t love them any less and I don’t think they are bad people, in fact their is allot I can learn from their Midos (which has nothing to do with the beard). BUT the TRUTH-EMES is the TRUTH and you can’t run away or try to explain/excuse your way out of the TRUTH (of what is really expected of us etc…).

  If YOU call YOURSELF a CHABADNIK (nobody is putting a gun to your head) then YOU should have a beard.

  I like the fact that we can have these democratic discussions as a community (with ACHDUS).
  Not everybody likes what is said all the time, well, to bad. Either Ignore or change your ways, it’s a free country, do what you want!

• chaim

  How could the article compare someone who walks into a Chabad house and know little or nothing about judaism to someone who was brought up lubavitch, went to a chassidisher school then abandons what they were taught, chassidim throughout the ages died to keep their beards on and all because it looks “cool” and this is what the guys in the movies look like people are taking off their beards. it is not a question of how can WE look upto these people how can their kids take them seriously and what type of education are they giving their kids it is an endless cycle that just gets worse and worse.

• I am the author

  I am the author of this Op-Ed. I’d just like to clarify a few things, so you see clearly where I am coming from. All the comments are appreciated, but I think many of you have got the wrong end of the stick.

  My article by no means was meant to justify or shine a positive light on those that touch their beards. I could have chosen one of a dozen issues that people are continually bickering about in this community.

  My point is that we all need to start having a lot more Ahavas Yisrael. This, and this alone will start to heal and cure the issues we experience. Beards, Tznius, kids of the derech etc etc etc.

• moshe der g

  the past shabbos was great (despite all the comments and some may have value and some not)

  the subject of beards is a very serious one, but should have a been a seperate one not connected to this past shabbos

  by mixing it in with the pas shabbos is a diversion and people speak with passion about the shabbos and just just the subject about the beards

  a vort from reb mendel
  if you see 2 people each on a ladder with 100 rungs and one is on the 90th rung and one is on the 35 rung . reb mendel would ask who will reach the top first?
  reb mendel would say it depends on which direction the person is going.

  let us all hope we are headed in the right direction

• DallasJew

  beard or not to beard?
  beisshmuel = young israel?
  some of you need to get a life. If not for these folks CH would be off the derech altogether, by now.
  I’ll take the trimmed beards or whatever you call it over the other retarded issues that so many “beards” are fighting over. Gosh, I would in a flash.

  I can even see from here who is writing the anti-beard comments. Shame on you – fix your own domain first and then you can attempt to YELP at more modern folks.

• Boruch

  Please remember.
  Dor hashishi didn’t do ‘kiruv’. People in those days came from a frum home and were on their way out and were destroying yiddishkeit.
  Their children were tinokos shenishbe’u and dor hashvi’i went to teach them yiddishkeit.
  People who are destroying CH should not feel wanted the same way all the chassidim in dor hashishi send their kids away from home when they joined the commnist party and were about to destroy the rest of the family.
  All talk about loshon hora and ahavas yisroel and ‘some frum guys are also bad’will not change this.

• Michush

  There is no room to justify no beards in Crown Heights.

• Proud Jew

  Didn’t the Frierdiker Rebbe nb“m say that we all have 2 eyes, the right to see good in others and the left to see the faulty in ourselves? Are those judgmental persons paying attention to this dictum or for some reason, does this not apply to them?! It may be difficult and be a nisoyon to follow, but if you believe in the importance of a beard (and other mitzvoys), then you must also believe in this as well.
  And to those that will judge, perhaps, we should start the judgment from the other end of the spectrum i.e. under different circumstances, maybe these men would not have any beards at all, and now at least they have trimmed beards! That would then be considered a great great achievement!
  Though there may be many who will disagree, I believe that we ought to be greatly indebted to the hippy generation, because it was they who broke through all the stodgy gedorim regarding dress and appearances (and bichlall hypocricy). So I say to the trimmed beardniks: have you ever examined why exactly are you trimming? Have you not seen the general population walking around with fifty earings on their bodies; red, green, yellow hair; baggy / tight clothing and so on. Today everybody dresses (and perhaps sadly also conducts themselves) as they wish. So, not even on a Chabad religious level but on a personal emotional level: why are you not willing to dress the way that you want?! We live in such a free and open society – express yourself on your terms as you like! If you really don’t want to wear a full beard, that’s your choice. But if you do, don’t be nispoell from anybody, because today anything goes. Stand proud and make your stand.
  My father told me a good story many years ago: a chosid, in his full garb, was walking in the street. A movie producer saw him and told him that he needed him for a movie shoot. He gave him a pass to present the next day at the studio.
  The chosid went home and said, ”I should go like this in my rekel and beard?“ So he shaved off his beard and got himself a three-piece suit. Next day he shows up at the studio, but was refused entry by the producer. ”But we met in the street yesterday,“ cried the chosid. He went on to describe when and where. The producer said, ”Ah, yes, I remember. However, like you are now, I have hundreds. It’s the way you were yesterday, that’s what I needed.”
  We really don’t know the incredible impact we make when we take pride in who we truly are.

• Bais Shmuel Mom

  This past shabbos was inspiring, heartfelt and accomplished by the hard working Chassidim of Beis Shmuel and their wives. These are young people GOING UP in their avodah b’ruchnius and b’goshmius. They made a kiddush Ha-Shem in honor of the Kedoshim and gave people of CH a chance to join together in Tefilla and be inspired by their Rov and other speakers. Please stop judging others negatively, it is so inappropriate to this difficult time. Instead look at yourself and work on your own challenges in avodah in Yiddishkeit. Teshuva, Tefilla and Tzeduka will avert the harsh decree!

• unbelievable

  i have never been more outraged in my life!
  how all of you find the negative in such a beautiful and inspiring event.what does this shabbos have to do with beards?why cant all of you see the good in this?what did the people with “beards” do in this trying and difficult time?i myself have a beard and this is all very embarrasing.each and every one of you that made negative comments should be ashamed of yourself. this is how you bring us together?this is how you make the community a better place?

• wishing every one well

  I like this article, and for all the people who complain about those of us trimming our beards I have this to say. It is my personal choice to have a beard or not, just like it is your personal choice to insult or judge me. so now we are even.

  Where I grew up in a small town in Europe where we learned in a Cheder founded by Reb Mendel Futerfass we learned to have respect for everyone in the community regardless what siddur he davent from or if someones father had a beard or not.

  Some people who the Rebbe was very close to, did not have a beard and I can tell you that ALL of those people had Yiras Shamayim and would blindly do anything the Rebbe would send them to do.

  My own father in law ztl, trimmed his beard, but many in Lubavitch hacking at every opportunity they get about beards and trimmimg bla bla bla would wish you had a hiskashrus with the Rebbe like my in laws did.

  Everyone, have a great day and be besimcha even in these hard times. There is enough to worry about, so please don’t worry about the size of each others beards.

• To Wishing every one well.....

  Kol yisroel aravim zeh bezeh how much more so by chassidim,so when you do something wrong i will let you know about it, that chieder in russia you say you learnt in i highly doubt because the chedarim in russia tought mesirus nefesh for darchie hachassidus something which you obviously didnt learn because you have the odacity to try to justify your wrongdoing on certain people who did good for the Rebbe but wronged themselves by not having a beard. The same Mendel futerfas which you say founded the cheider you learnt in told a story as follows. There was a jew in Russia who was bound to lose his job if he did not take off his beard, the financial pressures were to great for him to handle and he decided he would shave off his beard, there are two ways which one can shave with a blade that is 100% asur and much cheaper or a special razor that doesnt actually allow the blade on your skin and certain misnagdim hold is good, the man was obviously going to go the cheaper way which is FORBIDDEN Reb Mendel found out and begged him to use the other razor but to no avail so Reb Mendel went out put the sum of money required to purchase this special razor and bought it fot this jew when he came to the jew with the “present” the jew burst into tears and the selfless avhavs yisroel of this chossid and promised to keep his beard regardless of everything THIS IS AHAVAS YISROEL THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNT IN THAT CHEIDER YOU SAY YOU ATTENDED IN RUSSIA THIS IS TRUE AHAVAS YISROEL, AND TO END OFF YOU TRY TO WISH EVERY ONE GOOD AND YOU LIBERALLY SAY DONT WORRY ABOUT THE SIZE OF EACHOTHERS BEARDS …..RACHMONO LETZLAN FEH FEH HOW CAN WE NOT WORRY IT IS 100 BILLION % WRONG A BEARD IS THE BRIS OF A CHOSSID IT LETS BE PEOPLE KNOW WE ARE CHASSIDIM THE SAME WAY A BRIS LETS PEOPLE KNOW WE ARE JEWISH A BITTERE RACHMONUS ON YOUR TROUBLED SOUL YOU FOOLISH NAAR HOW DARE YOU TRY TO PREACH HISKASHRUS WHEN YOU CANT EVEN APPEAR TO LOOK LIKE A CHOSSID, YOU YELL AHAVAS YISOREL SO I LET YOU KNOW BACK THAT THE PEOPLE TELLING YOU TO GROW A BEARD ARE PERFORMING THE UTMOST AHAVAS YISROEL AND THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DSICOMFOTED BY THEIR REPROACH SHOWS YOU KNOW THAT WAHT YOU ARE DOING IS WRONG “YOU MUST REBUKE YOUR FRIEND UP TILL 100 TIMES” !!!!!!

• NOT A REFERENDOM ON BAIS SHMUEL

  dont try to muddy the water. its a discusion on beards. only

• Mendel

  To: Really?

  Wearing a Kapota makes you into a Rabbi (at least in the eyes of the world) so to then go w/o a beard is yes a bit of an oxymoron

• Kop Doktar

  Anyone interested in writting an Op-Ed: “Shabbos or Not to Shabbos”?

  Is there any problem with being a true blue Lubavitcher and not keeping Shabbos? What does one have to do with the other??

  A lubavitcher may or may not keep Kosher, does that define if he is a chosid?

  Come on people, Chassidish does not equal Frum. They are distinct ideas!!

• With Love

  From Chabad.org
  There is only one way to bring people closer to Torah, whether your friend, your spouse, your child, or a complete stranger. It is not with rebuke, not with arguments, not with intellectual games — but by drawing them with thick cords of love, by showing your faith in who they are and with real deeds.

• Facial

  “Wwhen I go to Bais Shmuel I feel like I am at a Young Israel shul NOT A CHABAD SHUL”

  When I go to 770 I feel as if I’m in Afganastan NOT A CHABAD SHUL

• Mendy

  A beard is a very holy thing and important one which is not alowed to be played with but at the same time those that are shocked about this situation has his things that he isnt complete with and could change. So for that reason we unite as one and work on it!

• sh

  Yes if thats the crowd you hang out with it feels like its the whole lubavitch

  “Lubavitch is rapidly becoming Modern Orthodox with a kapote and kids named Mendel and Mushky.

  We cut off our beards, walk around in mini skirts, the focal point of our living rooms is no longer an extensive library of sefarim; rather it is the 52” plasma tv proudly hanging on the wall…”

• Fix your kop

  Kop Doktar wrote: Chassidish does not equal Frum. They are distinct ideas!!

  Does that mean among lubavitchers there can be conservative chasidim or reform chasidim?!