Could it be our sweet hardworking cleaning lady who came highly recommended by neighbors who had her for the last 7 years?
After discussing the matter with our parents , my wife and I concluded it just couldn't be her....
Our Cleaning Lady who Stole from Us
Random items appeared to be missing from our apartment.
Could it be our sweet hardworking cleaning lady who came highly recommended by neighbors who had her for the last 7 years?
After discussing the matter with our parents , my wife and I concluded it just couldn’t be her….
My father-in-law dismissed the idea saying “everyone blames the cleaning lady first and it never is, it’s too obvious.”
My mother related to us what happened with her one time. My fathers passport was missing.
Immediately panic set in. Passports sometimes are sold for much money on the black market.
He had my mother fire their cleaning lady only to find the passport on a shelf a few months later. Oops.
Nevertheless, things were missing, including the ring with my grandmothers’ diamond I gave my wife for our wedding.
Rationalizing that the items were just “lost” and were going to be found in the near future eased our minds.
However, last week, Divine Providence taught us a lesson in trusting ‘sweet’ strangers.
My mother got our newly pierced-eared girls gold earrings to avoid infection.
Designating them as a gift for Shabbos, my wife put them in a cup on a shelf in the kitchen.
The girls would look at the cup on the shelf excited for Shabbos to come and also when they will wear their grandmothers’ earrings for the 1st time.
But on Erev Shabbos we realized that the earrings were missing.
After asking everyone in the family, we learned that the earrings weren’t moved by anyone of us.
Funny, the cleaning lady came the day before and all of the sudden the earrings were missing.
Self doubt set in as we could have unintentionally misplaced them somewhere in the kitchen.
After a lengthy search our suspicions were solidified. We then realized that the items weren’t missing, but were rather stolen, and the cleaning lady had to have done it.
What should we do? A confrontation was necessary.
Since the cleaning lady hardly spoke English, a Spanish speaking friend came to the rescue.
My wife’s friend told our cleaning lady that we knew she took things from our home, and that my wife feels very sad about losing the engagement ring and the other items.
My wife was willing to give her one chance to return them or else.
The cleaning lady did not confess immediately, but rather exclaimed that she knew where they were and offered to look for the items.
Our Spanish speaking friend suggested we have Miriam Shultz call her as well.
Miriam runs Miriam’s Cleaning Service where she screens the ladies thoroughly, and of course, she speaks Spanish.
I don’t know what Miriam said, but I know that she did scare our cleaning lady.
Instead of coming the next day to clean our apartment and “show my wife where she put things”, the cleaning lady came with her daughter that very evening with a bag full of our jewelry, including the engagement ring!
Her daughter explained that her mother “found” these around the house when she was cleaning and put them in her pocket.
She intended to return them, but she forgot.
More shocked by the miraculous return of many of our precious items that had been stolen, we were shocked that she really did do it!
How could this quiet, sweet, hardworking lady to whom we opened our home, betray us?
How could we have sometimes left her in the house by herself?
On occasion, how could we have left her with our babies alone, while getting her money from the bank?
Are we going to get back the other items that were “missing”, that have been taken as well, such as some more jewelry, silverware, the Ipod, some kids shoes and other items we don’t even know about?
Meanwhile, we informed our previous neighbor, the one who recommended us her ‘trustworthy good’ cleaning lady to us of our most current events.
Wowed and scared at the same time, she was dumb struck by the news. She had this cleaning lady for 7 years!
Furthermore she was alarmed at how she routinely left the house with the cleaning lady alone as well as left her children with her.
Every once in a while when things went missing she wouldn’t pay much attention to it, thinking the kids misplaced it. She made a quick list of recent losses: Her daughters China dolls, $100 bill from a guest’s luggage, a $20 bill from her son’s room, an iPod and the list goes on.
Another tough call from Miriam to our ‘sweet, good and trustworthy’ cleaning lady had her calling us again.
She offered to give us money for the other items. Sifting through various belongings, seemingly from other people, she could no longer find our other possessions.
We were just the tip of the iceberg.
Cleaning provided her with a paid pass into peoples homes like ours, whose trust was gained after years of ‘good service’. She scouted out the house for valuables to take that paled in comparison to the few dollars an hour she received in monetary value.
We called a Rov not knowing exactly how much to charge.
We didn’t want to steal from our thief…
He told us we can charge her whatever we felt covered the amount since she wasn’t telling us exactly what else she took. He also took the opportunity to reprimand us for leaving the cleaning lady in our apartment by herself.
In addition to putting ourselves in danger he said it could be a serious problem of Kashrus.
Regarding theft, a common practice among cleaning ladies, I heard about after telling this story to numerous people, is that the cleaning ladies put items they take in the garbage which they take out. Later either they or someone from their family comes around and takes it from the garbage…
The Rebbe teaches us to share what we learned with others.
My family learned a big lesson from our ‘sweet, good and trustworthy’ cleaning lady.
Now we are sharing the lesson we learned with you.
A person easily trusts an individual they see often, like the ‘nice and good’ cleaning lady.
A person might say “Our cleaning lady is a good one…”, but ask yourself, are these cleaners’ morals just like yours?
Please protect yourself.
Crown heights
I also had a cleaning lady that i shared with my friend and i also relized that she was taking things so one day i tested her i put out a $10.00 bill in a place that she will see the 10 dollers and i left the room after she cleaned the room i went to see if the 10.00 dollers was there NO it was not there so i went over to her i said did you see a 10.00 dollers NO so i said i think i left it here i just put it down i dont think i am loosing it so she started to get all nouvos and started to go through things knowing that she took the 10.00 dollers becouse i cought he red handed. and i told her to leave and dont come back again i told this to my friend and we both got rid of her. yes she was so upset she was even criying.
CH Mom
I share a cleaning lady with my neighbor. A similar thing happened to her. She was missing a handmade bracelet from her grandmother. It had very little monetary value but a lot of sentimental value. She asked the cleaning lady to look out for it. The next time she came she took it out of her pocket & said, “Oh I found this when I was cleaning & meant to give it back”
People: Hide your important, valuble items!!
another CH Mom
How about protecting your greatest “valuables”: YOUR CHILDREN!
just a suggestion
Here’s a sure-fire way to make sure your cleaning lady does not steal from you: Clean your house yourself! My mother had six kids and kept a spotless house all by herself. We kids helped her. It taught us at an early age a good work ethic.Unless, of course, you think cleaning is beneath you.
DL
to “just a suggestion”:
kol hakovod to you that you are able to emulate your mother’s spotless house! I hope that your children learn the same, it’s good chinuch. However, not all people fit into the same shoe. Ladies, you SHOULD have a cleaning lady to help you have more menuchas hanefesh and get other things done in a happy, patient way.
Do it with seichal. Keep on checking on her. NEVER leave her in your bedroom alone. Let her know that you are there watching. Don’t worry about her feeling uncomfortable. If she doesn’t like it, there could be a reason why…
A Friend
A friend from Williamsburg shared with me two cleaning lady/nanny horror stories that unfortunately occurred there, G-d forbid.
The first one involved a family who had a woman come to clean and baby-sit their newly born baby so the mother could go back to work. As time passed they noticed that their baby wasn’t behaving normally, something wasn’t right. One time the nanny couldn’t come, so the mother stayed with her children. At one point the baby cried bitterly and wouldn’t be appeased regardless of what the mother did. Her seven year old then came to the mother and asked her why doesn’t she do what the nanny/cleaning lady did with the baby to stop the crying.
“What did she do?” The mother asked. The child took the mother to the kitchen and told her the lady put the baby by the oven and turned the gas on without turning on the fire until the baby fell asleep, aided by the gas fumes!
The 2nd story involved a family who had a lady clean and cook for them for many years.
They loved her as she was part of their family. As years passed and the lady wanted to retire, she bought a house in her native Poland. The family drove their beloved house keeper to the airport.
By the last checkpoint where the family couldn’t follow her any further she stopped and said
“Well now that I’m leaving you are surely going to miss my cooking!”
“Oh yes, we definitely will.” the family said warmly.
Smiling she said to them “You know, whenever I cooked for you I always added a special ingredient with a special flavor, pork, that’s why you liked my cooking so much!”
Their close ‘family friend’ turned around and walked to the plane leaving the family completely and utterly stunned.
Nebach
“The Rebbe teaches us to share what we learned with others”
Emes
How about doing your own cooking and claeaning, like our bubbes did of old? You are to blame for your lack of sechel in bringing illegal Mexicans into your homes where they corrupt your children.
mom of 4
Every mother is entitled to cleaning help. Just use them 4 cleaning and not to cook or take care of ur kids. I’m a single mom who gets cleaning help – I cud do with her taking care of my kids and cooking, But I don’t allow her. I do trust her 2 clean, but not with my precious diamonds.
advice
I have a goye for years and even though I went through a few ladies over the years and found someone good, I am always always home with them. They never clean my bedroom.
When they leave, i walk them to door and pay them. They cant take anything (i hope at least) because I am always around and I see that there bag or purse is where they left it and was not moved. If a lady will come with a big bag ,I would make them leave it outside my door.
JUST STAY HOME WITH CLEANING LADY AND DONT BRING THEM INTO YOUR BEDROOM AND ALWAYS HELP THEM IN THE KITCHEN TO AVOID ANY BREACHES OF KASHRUS.
EW
BOTTOM LINE….DONT LEAVE YOUR MOST PRECIOUS WITH A CLEANING LADY!!! YOUR CHILDREN
Ariela Yael
I’d like to know how much are these cleaning ladies are being paid–so little that they feel compelled to steal to supplement their wages? It still doesn’t justify stealing but it might be a good idea to pay them a living wage. This is for Emes: I am of Mexican descent and certainly don’t go around corrupting children–think before you write.
Leah
I am the cleaning lady in my house, and B”H I haven’t stolen anything from myself yet.
Problem solved. Money saved, btw. Kids help too.
just a suggestion
My point exactly, Leah! Clean your own house if you can and let the kids help! If you have to work, that’s one thing, but I don’t understand these people who talk about staying home when the cleaning woman is there.You’re home anyway, CLEAN IT YOURSELF!
I agree
wow – there’s gonna be a cleaning-lady rebellion one of these days, but the message is clear: protect yourself
Name of cleaning lady please???
B”H
PLEASE TELL US THE NAME (and phone #, to prevent her changing her name and continuing to prey on unsuspecting customers) OF THE CULPRIT CLEANING LADY!!!
It’s puzzling why this detail was left out!!!
elisheva
Now, is there anything else which Lubavitchers are foolish and gullible about?
arthur robins
I never ever had a cleaning lady and never ever will.
Mrs. Z.
Mr. Elisha, thank you for bringing this important matter to everyone’s attentcion.
To certain people commenting: Do you really think judging fellow Jews is the right answer? My level of energy isn’t your level of energy. My situation isn’t your situation. Right now I do need a cleaning lady. The Rebbe in fact, from what I was told from Mrs. Sara Marasow, was in favor of having a cleaning lady help you if you need it.
That said I assume the Rebbe meant that you have to be careful of kashrus, your belongings and for parents your most precious belongings of all: your kinderlach.
I happen to be much more productive with a cleaning lady at the present time. I don’t think it’s a weakness to admit I have limitations.
stay sane, do what is right.
I’m home with my kids, so yes, I could clean my house by myself. I’m good at it, too. But lucky for me, MY KIDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY HOUSE so I prefer to focus my attention on, and use my energy for, my kids. No, I can’t involve them in the cleaning since they are too young. Instead, I do what it takes to keep my sanity and hire cleaning help.
No, cleaning help is not bad. Yes, there are cases of “goyehs” stealing. No, all cleaning ladies do not steal, but still we don’t trust them and yes, we need to keep an eye on them.
What works for one may not and does not always work for another.
STOP JUDGING OTHERS BASED ON YOUR OWN SITUATION.
MamaT
I don’t live in Crown Heights, but had a cleaning lady in the past who helped remove jewelry from my drawers. Once she came in my house wearing my own unusual, handmade ring, claiming it came from a thrift store. I pushed her out the door & called the police. Nothing was resolved, but I collected insurance money which I used to pay for Pesach preparation. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT!!!
SOLA
We were discussing the topic at a shiur here in LA and the rabbbi, a very prominent non-chabad rav relayed a story that he advised one of his mispalelim to put a camera in their kitchen to observe the shiksa. Sure enough when they watched the footage they viewed the housekeeper pulling a cross out of her shirt and making their toddler kiss it…
levi
just Something i thought….
when you hire a cleaning lady you should test her every day by putting some money on a table and getting a secret camera. try this website
http:/www.ezwatch-security-cameras.com only do this if you’re sure something’s missing, but if you have the money to get the camera you can test her every day.
just another thought.. you can put a 10 dollar bill on a table that you can see from a window and look through to see if she take’s it.
if she doesn’t pass any test’s ask her for the money back and fire her.
come on
the author of the story was too unknowing about the situation with his cleaning help. But you commenters are being overly stereotypical and unnecessarily unforgiving. After reading this story, does this mean that all cleaning ladies are gonifs? Of course not!
LD
The bottom line is,
If you need help around the house, you get a cleaning lady,
but the help needs to be supervised at all times.
rachel
Saddened by the racist attitudes shown in these anecdotes.
Rebecca
Wow! I have had my own cleaning business cleaning homes for about 4 years now. I would NEVER ever steal from someone that has trusted me into their home. Its very sad that some people do this but not everyone out there is a thief. I have cleaned everything from a studio apartment for an elderly lady to a million dollar penthouse condo. NEVER would I ever steal or take from anyone. Its bad karma and it would ruin my business reputation. I live in a very small community in Southern Indiana so word would get around quick and my business I have worked hard for over! This is also why I have no one working for me. I don’t trust anyone to clean the way I do or to not steal from my customers.