Photo by: Levi Liberow.
When I found out that my friend’s baby had been diagnosed with a malignant tumor, my first reaction was, “But it can’t be. I know her.” How could this happen to someone I knew? We were too young to be dealing with such things.
I went to visit her, but she was not home. I don’t know what I would have said. I don’t know if she knew I had dropped by. I did send a card or two to tell Chana Devorah that I was thinking of her. But I didn’t call. I was afraid. What could I possibly say? Since I didn’t call, she didn’t know.
Our Tapestry
Photo by: Levi Liberow.
When I found out that my friend’s baby had been diagnosed with a malignant tumor, my first reaction was, “But it can’t be. I know her.” How could this happen to someone I knew? We were too young to be dealing with such things.
I went to visit her, but she was not home. I don’t know what I would have said. I don’t know if she knew I had dropped by. I did send a card or two to tell Chana Devorah that I was thinking of her. But I didn’t call. I was afraid. What could I possibly say? Since I didn’t call, she didn’t know.
She didn’t know that over the long eight months of Chaya Tzirel’s illness, my lips were filled with tefillos on her behalf. She didn’t know how much I cared, how much my heart was hurting for her. When Tzirel passed away and I made the long-distance call of comfort, I left a message that couldn’t possibly convey my feelings. So she didn’t know that I was internalizing her pain. She didn’t know how much I wanted to be there for her, and I didn’t know how to show her.
Then I received a sample copy of Our Tapestry. I discovered what happens when people take their pain, turn it outward, and in the process, transform that pain into support for others.
Our Tapestry is the brainchild of Chana Devorah Goldberg and Miriam Greenfeld.
by Amy Wohl
We’re all sewn into the tapestry
where we’re supposed to be
with intricate detail and shadows & light
the order is clear to see
But behind the creation of color & silk
are the loose ends that have no place
we don’t see where they’re going
and they float loosely around in space
These knotted, straggly, unfinished ends
each have a life of their own
sometimes they make the world of sense
and some are hidden, unknown
We’re just humans here on earth
only Hashem knows where to find
we see the “Big Picture” from merely one side
But He sees it too, from behind
When the tangled strings of our lives
start to twist, we scream “Hashem, can this be true?”
but He is the one who is pulling those strings
and one day, Be-ezras Hashem soon, we’ll know too.
We’ve lost a child, the mind can’t grasp it
isn’t this too much to bear?
Yes it is, but with Hashem’s love and people like you
there’s a virtual healing hug in the air
One day we’ll see our children again
until then, this much is true
If we see both sides of the Tapestry
we can help each other get through.
Chana Devorah and Miriam became friends in the Great Equalizer, Sloan Kettering’s Pediatric Cancer Unit. The bond was cemented when Miriam’ sixteen-year-old son, Meir, passed away ten hours before Chaya Tzirel Goldberg. Tragedy obscured the differences in age, stage, background, Chassidic affiliation, neighborhood. They were two Jewish mothers, sharing a unique pain, leaning on each other for a support that nobody else could provide.
Recognizing the gift of their friendship and mutual support, they resolved to share that friendship and support with others in similar circumstances. Together they turned their pain into action. On the first anniversary of their children’s passing, they distributed the first edition of Our Tapestry to over fifty bereaved families.
Our Tapestry is a magazine where mothers, fathers, grandparents, and siblings can share their stories, how they dealt with their challenges, grew from the experience, and struggled but persevered. (For those who can’t express themselves in writing, there are writers ready to assist.) Therapists, grief counselors and Rabbis also contribute articles and stories to inspire and give practical guidance in dealing with life’s harshest blows. There is even space for teenagers and children to connect and maintain contact with a pen-pal who also lost a sibling.
I have no words to describe the extent of my respect for these two special women, who chose not to wallow in their suffering, but to grow and use their incredibly painful experience as an opportunity to assist and inspire others.
Today Our Tapestry’s circulation is close to 300 subscribers. I yearn for the day when Our Tapestry will no longer be necessary, and all the departed children will run back to their parents’ waiting embraces, with a smile as wide as the sunshine, with the coming of Moshiach NOW.
Our Tapestry is distributed free of charge to bereaved families. For more information, sponsorship opportunities, or subscriptions contact: Miriam Greenfeld 718-438-6930, Chana Devorah Goldberg 718-771-3443, or OurTapestry@gmail.com.
The Jewelry Gemach established in her memory.
so sorry
There’s nothing to say except we need Moshiach NOW.
Inspired
Beautifully written.
someone who admires you!
chana devorah, youre amazing!!!
Nshei
Wow. There should be article in Nshei about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hello
this is from the nshie
ash
Baruch Dayan Ha’emes….Moshiach will redeem us all if Ahavas Chinam Prevails over all.
anonymous
I had a brother who passed away. Now she made something similar for siblings, called My Outlet. It’s amazing what people can do when they really want and care to.