Seeing Beyond the Complaint
by Rabbi Asher Zeilingold, Clear Vision
The Rebbe wanted me to write detailed reports to him. I recall once that after an event I had organized on campus, the Rebbe responded, “With warm appreciation for your report (despite it being short) that was received.”
One time the Rebbe wrote to me, “You do not need to immediately respond yes or no.” Sometimes, the Rebbe was suggesting that things would just smooth over. He advised me to tell people that I would think about it. I believe that this is something that the Rebbe took into consideration when responding to letters he received.
When trying to influence members of the shul, he wrote, “It should be done pleasantly.” But more importantly, it was best to “influence them via others.” But if I did want there to be any positive result, I needed to never speak from my emotions. He wrote, “You do not need to actually do what they want, but you should give them respect, etc.”
In another response, the Rebbe wrote that things would slowly work out, and that I should remember that even Moshe had so-called “members” or “supporters” whom he had to deal with. As it says in Devarim (1:12), “How can I bear unaided the trouble of you, and the burden, and the bickering!” and Rashi writes on the word burden, “Moshe’s use of this word regarding them teaches us that the Israelites were troublesome.” Therefore, the Rebbe wrote, like Moshe, I did not need to be overwhelmed by all of their bickering…
In a private audience I said that recently one of the board members had been leveling painful personal attacks against me. “Sometimes people are upset because of a personal matter,” the Rebbe said, “and they take it out on the rabbi. If you would inquire, you would learn that he probably had a loss on Wall Street.”
That turned out to be correct. I learned from the Rebbe’s insight that people’s anger was not necessarily about me, it was often about themselves.
An excerpt from the forthcoming book Clear Vision: Living by the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Guidance, available at ClearVisionBook.com
