How a Texan, a Naval Officer and a Runaway Girl Met the Rebbe 30 Years After His Passing

by Uziel Scheiner – chabad.org

Rivka was 17 when she left the Orthodox Jewish home where she was raised in Monsey, N.Y., and moved to Colorado with a non-Jewish man. Rivka was not just moving west; she was running. She’d felt suffocated, as if every part of the life she was living was in conflict with who she felt she was. “I could either stay in this community and not be true to myself, or I could leave,” she told herself. Rivka chose to leave.

Her exodus from her previous life led her on a decade-long journey from Colorado to Las Vegas, where she lived for a while, and then on to the Quad Cities area of Iowa. By now she was in her late-20s, no longer the same rebellious teenage girl she’d been when she ran away from home. She longed for satisfaction and peace, but found herself struggling to find it.

Instead of the liberated new lifestyle she dreamed of, Rivka instead found herself sunken in a world marred by instability and loneliness. She felt isolated, like a stranger. Then, in 2018, a personal financial crisis threatened to ruin her. On the brink of losing everything, Rivka did something she hadn’t done in a decade: She picked up the phone and called her mother to ask for guidance.

Rivka’s mother put her in touch with Rabbi Shneur Cadaner, co-director, with his wife Chana, of Chabad-Lubavitch of the Quad Cities in Bettendorf. Rivka reached out to the rabbi, not sure how he could help. She didn’t know it at the time, but that conversation would set in motion a sequence of events that would transform her life.

The Rebbe’s Growing Impact

Tuesday, July 9, 2024 marks the 30th anniversary since the passing of the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, on 3 Tammuz, 5754 (1994). The Rebbe was a global Jewish leader who engineered the post-Holocaust revival of Jewish life, his influence reaching the highest echelons of society. He sent emissaries around the world, envisioning and building a network of Chabad social and educational institutions. At the same time, he devoted countless hours to fostering relationships with tens of thousands of individual petitioners from all walks of life, guiding them with his sage advice through their personal trials and tribulations.

Remarkably, in the 30 years since the Rebbe’s passing, and as more and more people are drawn to his teachings, so applicable to the day-to-day struggles and joys of life, his influence has only grown. The number of emissary couples today stands at more than 5,000, while the library of his published works has grown tenfold since 1994. In addition, there are today scores of scholars mining the Rebbe’s teachings to present their wisdom and depth in new languages and formats. Some notable recent efforts include Engaging the Essence, by Rabbi Dr. Yosef Bronstein, and Letters for Life, by Levi Shmotkin, which sifts through thousands of the Rebbe’s correspondences pertaining to emotional wellness to present practical tools to tackle life’s challenges. The Ohel, the Rebbe’s resting place in Queens, sees visitors at all hours of the day and night.

And new, life-changing personal connections continue to be made.

‘The Rebbe Knows What I Am Going Through’

Michael Elkins spent his formative years as a card-carrying member of a Conservative synagogue in Philadelphia. He was not personally observant, nor did he feel he was looking for anything more. He was married with three children, ran a successful lighting supply company, and was a respected member in his community.

In 2017, he came across a “Scotch and Torah” event being arranged by a local kollel and decided to give it a try. Finding that he enjoyed the learning, Elkins began to attend more regularly. Soon thereafter, he met a rabbi down the block from him who was holding prayer services in his house and asked if he could help him complete the minyan, the quorum of 10 men required for prayers. Looking back, those two events started him on the path of becoming closer to Judaism.

His pleasant experience at the Torah event made Elkins receptive when his friend, Skip Pasternack, offered for him to join an online study session with his brother, Shalom, who is a Chabad rabbi in Tzfat, Israel, where he heads a yeshivah. What would they be learning? Something called Chassidut. Elkins had never heard of it before.

“Rabbi Shalom opened the world of Chassidut up to me,” Elkins recalls. From then, nothing was the same. He dove headlong into the universe of Torah, discovering a newfound passion for all types of Torah study. Halacha, Talmud and Chassidut became his favorites.

It wasn’t long before he began attending Chabad in Philadelphia, a little at first: studying with Rabbi Baruch Shalom Davidson of Chabad of the Main Line, gradually growing his involvement to include his family members as well.

“It was when I started to learn about the Rebbe, and who he really was, that my life changed,” Elkins says. “Of all the figures of Judaism that existed in my lifetime, the Rebbe is the one that has his finger on the pulse of the assimilated American Jew.”

When Elkins speaks about the Rebbe, he grows impassioned, and his voice fills with warmth.

“The Rebbe knows what I, as a non-observant Jew, is going through and knows how to lift me up in service of Hashem,” he says. “When the Rebbe speaks, he’s talking to me. Not to the Jews of Europe as if trying to uphold some type of past. He’s talking to me and who I am.”

Elkins’ study of Chassidut and the Rebbe’s Torah teachings didn’t just bring him closer to his faith, but had a ricocheting effect on the people in his life. His wife, Amy, now studies Torah with Rabbi Pasternak’s wife, Nechama; his oldest daughter, Lila, studies Tanya at Chabad at Tufts University in Boston; while his younger daughter, Mia, is a regular visitor to the Ohel. His son, Benji, recently headed to Tzfat to study at Pasternak’s Yeshiva Temimei Derech—something the older Elkins is admittedly envious of.

Elkins also hosts a Torah class in his home for his friends from the Conservative community, with which he remains associated. Every week, dozens of Jews meet in his home to study Chumash, which Elkins teaches with a uniquely Chassidic perspective.

When Elkins considers how he’s formed a relationship with the Rebbe so many years after the latter’s passing, he echoes the Rebbe’s own teachings about how a student connects with his teacher following his physical passing.

“I wanted to know the Rebbe,” he explains. “I find that the more I learn of his teachings, the more I feel I know him; the more I feel I know him, the more I want to learn.”

The Skeptic and the Texan

If you had to select two people who would seem most unlikely to have an intense personal relationship with a Chassidic rabbi, Steve Gottlieb and Ed Lauterstein would be good picks.

Gottlieb was born in Fort Wayne, Ind., and had a distinguished career as a naval officer, working later as a government contractor. Lauterstein is a fourth-generation Texan who speaks with a deep and brooding Texas-Southern accent. Gottlieb was raised Conservative; Lauterstein Reform.

It was while he was working in government in Frederick, Md., that Gottlieb decided he was curious about Talmud. When looking where he could find classes, he came across Chabad. “I didn’t know much about Chabad or other Chassidic groups,” Gottlieb recalls. “I assumed that they were mostly cults of personality that blindly followed a lead figure. When I started learning at Chabad, I realized I was wrong.”

What caused Gottlieb’s change of opinion? “The Rebbe wanted people to learn and think for themselves. He wanted people to do, on their own,” he explains.

Gottlieb began to voraciously study the Rebbe’s teachings as well as his biography. Both the depth of the teachings and the Rebbe as a person and leader fascinated him.

Now retired and living in Mobile, Ala., where he attends Chabad of Mobile, directed by Rabbi Yosef and Bina Goldwasser, Gottlieb uses what he’s learned about the Rebbe to carry his message forward.

“The Rebbe was proud to be Jewish and encouraged people to embrace their Judaism more openly,” Gottlieb says. “I’ve always been proud to be Jewish, but not always so overtly. I’ve become more outwardly Jewish and try to influence others to do the same.”

The Rebbe launched his tefillin campaign in the runup to the 1967 Six Day War, teaching that Jewish men donning them in prayer would bring additional protection to the people of Israel. Inspired by the Rebbe’s campaign and due to the current situation in the Holy Land, Gottlieb has in recent months promoted a tefillin campaign of his own, using social media to spread awareness and motivation to don tefillin in his social circle.

Lauterstein first became aware of Chabad 30 years ago, when he saw Rabbi Chaim Block, then the new Chabad rabbi in San Antonio, Texas, walking around the streets. “In ’90s San Antonio, a Chassid sticks out like a sore thumb,” Lauterstein says. “I was curious about this rabbi so I went to speak to him. He looked different but he had a strong personality and an aura of goodness. I was immediately drawn to him.”

Although he stayed in touch with Rabbi Block, Lauterstein remained part of the Conservative community he and his wife had long attended. Years later, Block asked Lauterstein—a restaurant and air-conditioning contractor—to assist with his new Chabad building. While walking through the building, Block offered to put tefillin on him.

“It was the first time I had done it. Nobody had ever taken the time or effort to do that with me,” he recalls. Block then gave him a book about the Rebbe.

“Reading the book, I finally understood Rabbi Block and how he is who he is,” Lauterstein says. “I realized that this type of authentic and welcoming Judaism comes from a leader with a vision. It’s a movement and philosophy about embracing every Jew and that was an important moment for me. From then, I wanted to learn more and become more involved.”

Lauterstein and his wife eventually began attending Chabad. His life, he explains, has been deepened and changed as a result.

“I was at a funeral recently and the son of the deceased spoke about how his father would sit by his bed every night and recite the Shema with him,” he says. “That moved me, and I decided I wanted to do that, too.”

Every night, Lauterstein sits with his granddaughter and they say the Shema together.

‘The Rebbe Saved my Life’

Rivka was apprehensive before meeting with Cadaner. She hadn’t spoken to a rabbi in a decade and she feared, given her life story, that he would be judgemental or disapproving. “Instead, I got complete kindness,” she says.

Rabbi Cadaner welcomed her and listened empathetically. He reassured her that he would do everything possible to help her with her financial issues and anything else she needed. Then he invited her for a Torah class based on the Rebbe’s teachings called “Advice for Life” from the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute (JLI). Skeptical, she decided to give it a try anyway.

“The class spoke about the Hebrew letters and bringing the name of G‑d into the home,” Rivka says. “At that moment, I realized that there was more to life than being alone.”

Rivka continued to attend the class and for the first time began to learn about the Rebbe and his teaching on the value and purpose of every person and each mitzvah. She discovered a version of Judaism that didn’t see her as a shameful reprobate but as an individual with infinite value, someone with an inextinguishable Divine soul, always able to make a positive difference.

Days later, Rivka opened a prayer book for the first time in years and began to pray. When she reached the Shemoneh Esrei, she didn’t make it past the third blessing before she broke down crying.

“That moment was one of the most powerful experiences of my life,” Rivka says. “To know that after 10 years Hashem [G‑d] is still there—that my neshamah [soul] is still there—those teachings of the Rebbe pierced me and uncovered something deep within.”

Rivka gradually started to become more involved in Jewish life and went back home to spend Passover with her family. This past summer she traveled to Israel. “If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be praying at the Kotel, I would’ve laughed,” she says.

Rivka recently moved back east from Iowa to live near her sister, where she is finally living a life where she feels whole.

“I feel like I’ve been living in a fog for so long, and now it’s finally lifted. It’s as though I’m finally seeing things for the first time,” she explains. “G‑d is my best friend, and I don’t know how I lived without Him for so long.”

When Rivka is asked how she feels the Rebbe has impacted her, even though her relationship only began after his passing, her answer is direct and unequivocal. “The Rebbe saved my life,” she says. “I have a picture of him in my prayer book and when I daven [pray], I feel his presence. I have a connection with him wherever I am.”