Congressman Nadler, Closet Superhero?

WASHINGTON, DC — Maybe he gained a lot of chutzpah when he lost 100 pounds. Whatever the case, even those who have seen firsthand the incredible transformation of Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) from 338 pounds to somewhere just upwards of 200 may still be surprised to learn that he can scale high walls like a pole vaulter.

Nadler’s athleticism stunned folks at this month’s Feast of Tabernacles, the Jewish Biblical Festival of Sukkot, on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol grounds — organized by American Friends of Lubavitch’s Capitol Hill Jewish Forum.

Rabbi Levi Shemtov, known as the “rabbi of Capitol Hill,” got a special permit to erect a makeshift Sukkah, the temporary dwelling that the Bible commands Jews to live in during the weeklong festival. To get to the Sukkah, Nadler either had to scale a three and-a-half foot stone wall or do what most everyone else did: walk all the way to the bottom of the hill to get inside.

Even after his stomach-reduction surgery five years ago, most of us would still assume that the 5-foot-4-and-still-quite-large Nadler would take the easy route. Au contraire.

“Without missing a beat, he just swung his legs over the fence like a teenager — and mind you, he was wearing a suit — and he didn’t even break a sweat,” a GOP attendee of the event, who is now an unofficial Nadler fan, says. “It was amazing to watch.”

Nadler’s staff pretty much gave a “big woop” eye roll in response to our inquiry about Nadler’s impressive wall jumping.

“Congressman Nadler can leap tall fences in a single bound and is more powerful than a locomotive — at least we like to think so around the office,” Nadler spokesman Shin Inouye said.

If there’s one person in town who may have reason to worry about Congressman Nadler’s Superman-esque ability to beat back roadblocks, it’s President Bush.

Because who knows when Nadler, the chairman of the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, may decide to hop the White House fence or bust down the doors of the Justice Department to fetch those detainee interrogation memos President Bush has been refusing to turn over to Nadler and his colleagues.