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Should Young Girls Travel to the Rebbe?
Question: I live in Europe and we are preparing for Tishrei 5783, which is a Hakhel year. My older boys — in Yeshiva Gedola — are excitedly talking about going to the Rebbe for Tishrei. My Bas-Mitzvah daughter feels their excitement and would like to go as well. Is this something that should be encouraged or is it too early for her?
Answer: Firstly, you are truly blessed, and should give continuous thanks to Hashem that the discussions in your home — and challenges you are facing — are regarding such spiritual special things.
Traveling to the Rebbe has always been, and continues to be, a cornerstone of the Hiskashrus of a Chassid with his Rebbe. It recharges the Chassid and puts him back in focus. In addition to addressing the specific question about the young girl, I would like to share the Rebbe’s guidance that is applicable for your older sons as well.
“The Custom In America When Dealing With The Youth”
(1) In 1954 a group of students wanted to travel to the Rebbe for 19 Kislev. The hanhala asked the Rebbe what they should do. The Rebbe responded:
“In general, each student needs to get permission for the hanhala and the hanhala sets the amount of time that the students have permission to be away from Yeshiva. This implies that the Yeshiva has the option of being strict and not allowing the talmidim to come.
However, the famously known custom in America — when dealing with the youth — is that the administration should not rely too much on their strict obedience and being overly strict will put them in a situation where they will really be tested [as they might simply ignore the directive of the hanhala – RGA]. Thus, if they really would like to come, it would be beneficial to give them permission on condition that they excel in their learning and their diligence in learning…” (Igros, Vol. 8 p. 42; #2287)
Two Types of Trips to the Rebbe
(2) “In regards to your question about visiting here [at the Rebbe]: It is certainly not out of the question. But it is important that you come here with “רכוש — belongings” (and in truth it should be “רכוש גדול”). This means that you ought to be active in matters connected with Jewish education.
Then your visit here is not just on your behalf, but on behalf of your students as well as you brought them along (spiritually). It is obvious, and self-understood, that upon your return to your students, they will benefit in the physical sense as well.
If only all those that traveled here, and those that currently would like to travel, understood the truth and the great difference between these two types of travels… It is obvious that you can spread this message and you can do so in my name.” (Igros Vol. 16 p. 240; #6014).
(3) Rabbi Shlomo Matusof was sent on Shlichus to Morocco. In 5714 (1954), he asked the Rebbe for permission to come to 770. The Rebbe responded: “In general it is a good idea. The following two things must be very clear: a) It should be with the complete consent — not forced [consent] — of your wife. b) The shlichus in Morocco should not be diminished therefore. Thus — because of the second reason — the trip should be limited to certain times.” (Igros, Vol. 9 p. 75; #2686).
Should Young Girls Travel to the Rebbe?
(4) To a father of a Bat-Mitzvah girl that wanted to travel to the Rebbe: “Traveling from Eretz Yisroel to New York is not a simple affair at all, especially for a girl that is that age. Why should you entertain this idea?? (In addition to the cost and expense — which even if you have already designated the money — you could use that money for other very necessary and needed things. This is easily understood.) I will mention you at the Tziyun and your intentions [alone] are desired.” (Tzaddik L’Melech Vol. 7 p. 355)
[It’s important to note that this trip was not as part of an organized group, but to come alone. An organized group with a program and supervision is of course different and participation should be assessed by the family mashpia — RGA.]