The Lamplighter: Experiences of a Chabad Rebbitzin by Esther Feinstein

The Lubavitcher Rebbe had this dream and vision that every single Jewish person, especially after the holocaust, had to be reached, touched, and shown that they mattered to G-d and were always deeply cared for.

Many times one wonders: going to a new place, how will I find Kosher food for myself, let alone for my children and community? Yet, as one knows, five thousand couples and counting have gone out, even more after the passing of the Rebbe. Is it because the vision of what’s needed to help others is so clear? Each emissary is taking a part of the Rebbe’s work on themself to do what needs to be done in Ker a velt, changing the world.

For years it was back-n-forth, a debate in my head. Should I write about some of my own experiences, a Journal for others to see the behind-the-scenes life of an emissary?

When Shluchim go out, one can ask, what makes you an emissary? The answer is with a question that a Shliach or shlucha asks themselves: in each situation that one encounters, it is asked, what would the Rebbe want me to do?

Is it really about taking the Rebbe and his ideals with you in each step, direction, and initiative that one does? For example, when I wrote this book, in the story “The First Chabad House,” I talked about giving up my small three-bedroom ranch and gifting it to the community. It happened that we started building our Chabad house from our own small ranch, but when my children came out in their towels, with an audience that was learning with the rabbi, that moment changed everything!

I remember the first time I walked inside the new apartment; I took a U-turn and walked right out, shook my head in disbelief at how tiny it was, and felt the overpowering terrible reality that I didn’t know if I could do it! I understood that it was impossible, but I couldn’t have this mindset and knew that I would have to break my comfortable self to live there, for it was the only way. The community and my little children needed to blossom. The debate in my mind was now over! The hard decision became a reality! I walked back into the cube, the new apartment, but this time I imagined that the Lubavitcher Rebbe stood beside me, and it then became the deal was more than done; the apartment was now ours. This is only one of almost fifty stories that I’ve written about my life. The book that I’ve written is to be an example for others. When I debated writing this book, it was never about me. I’m very shy to share my life stories, and most of us don’t want to share things so personal, but I felt it was important to share behind the scenes as a tribute to the five thousand and counting couples worldwide.

The sacrifice is raw, and the Chabad emissaries’ dedication is very real! This book is being shared for one to realize how Chabad Shluchim and Shluchos really feel about their community. This included many sacrifices; for me personally, on my own shlichus when we came, there was no kosher, no school for my children, and no mikvah. It is not called the frozen tundra for nothing! The snow gets that high, and traveling for kosher or mikvah can sometimes be very dangerous. Homeschooling in five hundred square feet was very hard, and what made it all worth it was focusing only that I’m here as an emissary, a representative of the Lubavitcher rebbe. How would the Rebbe conduct himself in this situation?

The Lamplighter: Experiences of a Chabad Rebbitzin contains fifty selected stories that were never written anywhere. Fifty powerful stories! Through a Chabad Rebbitzin’s eyes, perspective, and voice. One should remember that the thousands of other emissaries have their stories, struggles, and self-sacrifice to their community for the sake of helping to strengthen their Jewish communities. The cycle never ends, sleep rarely happens, and the love to help keeps on giving.

This is the behind-the-scenes of an emissary’s life that can not be replicated elsewhere.

Inside my book, The Lamplighter: Experiences of a Chabad Rebbitzin. It’s a one-of-a-kind book that I feel deserves to be read as each chapter took years to write. It is to be shared with you, the reader, and those worldwide who want to be inspired.

The Lamplighter: Experiences of a Chabad Rebbitzin by Esther Feinstein is available at most bookstores and online at https://mosaicapress.com/product/the-lamplighter/.