Is “Shmiras Halashon” a Chabad Value?
Question:
I am a young mother and part of a wonderful Chabad community in the United States. I was brought up going to Beis Yaakov and then went to a Chabad Seminary and married a Chabad Chassid. While I see the tremendous beauty of Chassidus and the ways of Chassidus, there is one area that is still bothering me: The lack of emphasis on Shmiras Halashon in the Chabad community. Is this on purpose? Is this something that the Rebbe addressed?
Answer:
I am so happy that you asked this question, as it gives me an opportunity to address a tremendous misconception in the Chabad community. While you are correct that there is this notion that Shemiras Halashon is “not our thing”, it could not be further from the truth.
[It may be that what you are noticing is a lack of emphasis on Shmiras Halashon in the style you were brought up with, which included constant daily or weekly study of the topic. This should not be understood as a lack of importance of Shmiras Halashon, rather there is a different approach of how to deal with it.
Like with all other negative traits, the derech of Chassidus to repair this problem is not to focus on what’s wrong, rather on the positive. In Chabad Chassidus we focus primarily on Ahavas Yisroel which of course includes protecting the honor of every Jew by practicing Shmiras Halashon, but the goal is not that, rather loving every Jew.]
The definition of a Chassid is to go beyond the letter of the law, in regards to Torah and mitzvos in general and especially in Ahavas Yisroel. Thus, there is no room to say that it is not a Chassidic custom to be careful with such an important halacha.
The following are a few examples of where the Rebbe speaks about this important issue:
1. In a letter that was sent to R. Menachem Zev Greenglass, one of the leaders of the Lubavitcher community in Montreal, the Rebbe writes: “One of my acquaintances commented to me in the past on the lack of attention paid to guarding against undesirable speech by the members of the Chassidic brotherhood. Perhaps it is valuable to mention this matter, at least in brief.” (Igros, Vol. 3 p. 356; #657).
2. In Likkutei Sichos (Vol. 15 p.135), the Rebbe brings down the following story of the Rebbe Rashab: The village tailor of Lubavitch had sewn a dress for Rebbetzin Rivkah Schneersohn, wife of the Rebbe Maharash. The Rebbe’s young child, Sholom Dov Ber, was present when the tailor brought the new garment to his mother. Displaying a child’s natural curiosity, the four-year-old reached into the visitor’s pocket and pulled out a sizable bolt of cloth – the remains of the Rebbetzin’s dress.
The tailor reddened and stammered an explanation: he had simply forgotten about the leftover cloth, he certainly had no intention of withholding from the Rebbetzin what was rightfully hers, etc. After the tailor shamefacedly left, Rebbetzin Rivkah said to her son: “See what you did! See how you embarrassed the poor man…
”Later, the child came to his father in tears and asked him how he could rectify the fact that he had shamed someone. But when the Rebbe asked his son to tell him what exactly happened, the child refused. “Is it not enough that I embarrassed a fellow Jew?” exclaimed little Sholom Ber. “Must I also commit the sin of gossip and speak lashon hara of one’s fellow?”
The Rebbe (Ibid) learns a lesson from this story, that we must educate our children with an added sensitivity, not to ch”v speak ill of a fellow Yid.
3. Once we are on the topic of how careful we need to be in how we speak of others, I would like to share a fascinating response from the Rebbe of how careful we need to be about speaking about ourselves!
“In response to your letter that was written last Wednesday: the directive of our holy Rebbeim is known that just as one must be aware of one’s faults, so too must one be aware of their strengths. It is a well-known saying of the Frierdiker Rebbe — and this was often used by many other Gedolei Yisroel as well — that it is also forbidden to speak lashon hara about oneself…
This is one of the tactics of the yetzer hara, to make a person depressed and to have a feeling of despair about the spiritual state. Then he tells the person that being that he has no hope spiritually, he should just give in to all his physical temptations.” (Igros, Vol. 20 p. 13; #7459)
