The Rebbe on Adoption: A Nuanced Approach
Question:
My wife and I are Chabad Chassidim and we try to live our lives in accordance with the directives of the Rebbe. We have not yet been blessed with children and people are encouraging us to consider adoption. Before getting more serious about this idea, we would love to know if the Rebbe ever discussed adoption and if yes, what his holy opinion about it is?
Answer:
This is indeed a very important and sensitive issue that has many halachic and emotional considerations. The Rebbe wrote to many people that they should consult a Rav when it comes to adoption. Yet, the Rebbe did write about it in a few places, and the answers are nuanced and could be divided into two categories: (1) If the child to be adopted is Jewish (2) The child to be adopted is not Jewish.
Adopting A Jewish Child:
(1) “The amount of frum people that are careful in all aspects of the Torah, looking into adoption is constantly growing. These people do not realize that the laws of Yichud, forbidden touching (hugging and kissing) apply in full to adopted children.
While this issue also applies to raising an orphan in one’s home — a tradition which has always occurred throughout our history — as well as to blended families of parents that remarry and have children from previous marriages, there still is a basic distinction: The orphan knows that they are not the biological child of these parents. Thus, they do not expect this type of closeness.
Adopted children, who in most cases do not know that they are adopted – and many adoption agencies require a promise that the child will be raised without that knowledge – tend to be treated like biological children. Thus the halachic issues are very concerning.” (Igros, Volume 23 page 310; #8924).
(2) “In response to your question, if you should adopt a child: If you can adopt a child that was born to parents that kept Taharas Hamishpacha and raise the child in a way of Torah and Mitzvos, this will be considered a segula to have your own children. Hashem should help you, and your husband, for the fulfillment of your heart’s desire, a healthy child.” (Igros, Volume 6 page 95; #1616)
(3) “In this you write about traveling to Eretz Yisroel to adopt a child…This should only be done after strongly considering all the aforementioned (Yichud, touching) halachic complications. If you both make the strong resolution to act with the child in complete compliance with the ways of Torah and you see that chance that the traveling to Eretz Yisrael will bring the desired results of adoption, then travel bash’a tova umutzlachas.” (Igros, Volume 24 page 131; #9138)
Adopting A Non-Jewish Child:
(1) “In response to your letter about adopting a non-Jewish child and relying on the fact that we can convert a young child “al daas beis din:” Chas v’Shalom to think of such a thing! If you and your wife have decided to go down the path of adoption, you should look for a child born to Jewish parents in purity … You can find a large frum family that is struggling financially that may want to give their child up for adoption.” (Igros, Volume 17 page 104; #6252)
(2) “In regards to your (non-Jewish) adopted child: Please explain to your wife that when Hashem gives a couple a child, it is on condition that the parents fill all the needs of the child. If they feed the child properly, the child will be physically healthy. If they educate the child properly, he will be morally (spiritually) healthy.
When you have a non-Jewish child that you want to properly adopt, there is an extra responsibility. Since the child was born to non-Jewish parents, the child’s soul is the soul of a non-Jew. If you would like to properly adopt the child, you need to give the child a Jewish soul. The one that gives the soul is Hashem, and He says in his Torah that for the child to get a Jewish soul, the child must (if a boy) get circumcised, immerse in a Mikvah, and the parents need to commit to raising the child accordance with the will of Hashem (keeping the Mitzvos). If one of these conditions are missing, the child remains with the soul of a non-Jew.
There is no mitzvah to switch the soul of the child (who is not Jewish) to the soul of a Jew through conversion. But then, the relationship must remain only the way the Torah allows between a Jew and a non-Jew.” (Likkutei Sichos, Volume 21 page 403).
