(2/3) Prank Calling The Rebbetzin
A few people asked me to tell the story of when I was a kid and I prank called the Rebbetzin.
My uncle was the Rebbe’s doctor. When I was a kid, my cousin and I would sometimes go into the doctor’s office after hours and make prank phone calls.
One day when I was 11 years old, we ran out of ideas of who to prank, so we flipped through the rolodex on the desk for some inspiration. We saw a card that said Schneerson 1304 President street with a phone number underneath.
We looked at each other and said ‘Schneerson… that’s the Rebbe, that must be the Rebbe’s phone number.”
And my cousin, who was not as mischievous as me but was a good instigator looked at me and said “I dare you”. So I called the number.
A sweet old woman answered the phone and then I got scared and just made some animal noises into the phone for a few seconds and hung up. A few weeks later we did it again and I made a few animal sounds and quickly hung up.
About two months later, it was chol hamoed sukkos. I was staying at my uncle’s house and we were outside in the sukkah getting ready for lunch. My Aunt asked me to go inside the house and get some cups and napkins and bring them into the sukkah.
In the kitchen there were two phones. The white phone and the red phone. The white phone was the family phone and the red phone was only for emergencies. Only a handful of the most important people in Crown Heights had the number to the red phone. We were always instructed in the harshest terms to never ever use the red phone.
When I walked into the kitchen to grab some cups, the red phone started ringing. I figured that since I am the only one in the house I should answer it. But I answered it like a moron. In a high pitched voice I said ‘helloooooooooooo’. And a sweet old woman said “sorry I must have dialed the wrong number, I’m trying to reach the doctor.”
I said “this is the doctor’s house, he is outside in the sukkah and I’ll go get him for you. Who is calling please?” She said “this is Mrs. Schneerson from President Street.”
I went out to the sukkah and told my uncle Mrs. Schneerson from President St. is on the phone and he ran inside the house.
Two minutes later he came outside and grabbed me by my shirt and lifted me off the ground. He said “I warned you many times not to ever play games on the red phone. What’s wrong with you? When people call the red phone it can be a life or death emergency and your silly jokes can delay someone emergency medical help!”
I looked down at the floor and meekly said “I’m sorry.”
He said “do you know who that was on the phone?” I confidently replied “yes, it was Mrs. Schneerson from President St.” He said “be quiet wiseguy!, that was the REBBETZIN on the phone. She called because she isn’t feeling well and I have to go over to her house to examine her… and you are coming with me because she wants to meet you.”
I was terrified because I thought I was going to be punished in ways I couldn’t even imagine. We started walking to the Rebbetzin’s house and my uncle said “how dare you make prank phone calls to the Rebbetzin!” Before I could even try to deny it, he said “she recognized your voice. You called her once as a goat and another time as a cow.” Now my heart sank even deeper into my stomach. I knew I really did it this time.
When we got to the Rebbetzin’s house, the front door was unlocked and my uncle opened the door. We went inside and my uncle turned to me and sternly said “you wait here. And don’t touch anything!” Then he started ascending a staircase and while he was walking up the Rebbetzin came out at the top of the staircase and looked down at me and smiled and waved. I waved back. Then they both disappeared into a room.
I thought to myself. That’s it? She just wanted to wave to me? I am not going to be chastised or punished? okay this is not so bad….
Then there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and a man (who I later found out was named Gansberg and was the caretaker of the Rebbe’s house) looked at me and in a deep voice asked “are you Moshe?” I cringed and said “yes” . He motioned with his finger and said “please come with me”. I was terrified. I thought he must be the executioner that was going to punish me.
He led me through the house. In the back of the house was a kitchen with old fashioned utilities and a bright orange molding that lined the top of the walls. In the back of the kitchen, there was a door. He opened the door and it led directly into a sukkah. The table was set and he said “the Rebbetzin prepared lunch for you. Please sit down and enjoy.”
I remember exactly what it was. Two challah rolls, a piece of baked salmon and a salad, and orange juice already poured into a cup. And it was delicious. And while I was eating I was thinking about all the ways I could brag about this when I got back to school.
When I reflect back on this story that happened over thirty years ago, it really says a lot about the character of the Rebbetzin. She was not arrogant or uptight. Even though she was the victim of my joke she was not angry and she understood that kids are kids and she really loved us all like any grandmother would. And even though she wasn’t feeling well that day, she still went out of her way to prepare food for me. At the time I may not have realized how big an honor it was to sit in the Rebbe’s private sukkah and eat, but now I do.
