“Why do you learn Chassidut? What does it give you? What are you actually looking for?”
I have a dear and much-appreciated friend who has been learning Chassidut with me for a year or more.
He is a true ben Torah (a person wholly immersed in Torah), who learned in yeshivas that don’t teach chassidut. We became acquainted and have been learning together.
I asked him this week: “On Shabbat we will note the day of 19 Kislev, the Rosh Hashana of Chassidut. It is a suitable time, then, to ask you: why do you learn Chassidut? What does it give you? What are you actually looking for?”
Why did I ask him? Because I was born into it and I don’t always know to say what it has given me, since I don’t know any other kind of life.
He didn’t need much time to think. He is a person with an orderly mind and everything is already settled in his head.
Here is what he said:
“Until I learned Chassidut, I didn’t really understand why I do mitzvot and learn Torah. Mainly, I didn’t understand what happens when I do mitzvot and learn Torah. I knew what reward I would get for them, and I knew pretty well the punishment I would receive if I didn’t observe the mitzvot and didn’t learn Torah.
“In other words, the reason for performing the mitzvot was external; it was not connected to the mitzvah itself. Something like a child who eats healthy food only because if he finishes what’s on his plate his mother will give him a gift, and if he doesn’t eat, and particularly if he eats junk food, his father will punish him.
“Since I have been learning Chassidut, I know that the reward for learning Torah is the very fact that the Torah itself is the wisdom of Hashem, and when I’m learning it, it unites with me and I become united with it. The word mitzvah comes from the word tzavta – connection – and so when I am performing a mitzvah I and Hashem become a team. All this has no connection to any external reward or punishment. Something like a child who eats healthy food because his parents have explained to him how good and useful this food is; also, how damaging unhealthy eating is. And this has nothing to do with a gift his mother will give him, or the punishment his father will declare.”
The Rosh Hashana of Chassidut will begin tonight (Friday) and will continue until Sunday night. These are particularly illuminating days, days that light up the way for us, perhaps even renew it for some of us, and upgrade our lives. Not everybody merits this; one must want it. It is worthwhile to try!
