Weekly Story: The Rebbe Is Rebbe

by Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon

This Monday, erev Rosh Chodesh Kislev is the 19th yahrzeit of my father HaRav HaChossid Reb Meir a”h. Those who were acquainted with my father, knew that he enjoyed relating chassidishe stories. In that spirit, I chose to share with you one of his classic gems, from the upcoming book Sippurei Meir – Stories of a Chossid, which I hope bezras Hashem to have published next year by his 20th yahrzeit.

At the same time, I appeal to anyone who heard a story from him to please inform me of them, so I can include it in that book. Thank you and your feedback is greatly appreciated.

One day, one of the Maggid’s talmidim arrived in Mezeritch extremely distressed. Not only was his son refusing to follow the chassidic way of life, he was becoming very lax in the observance of all the mitzvos. The chossid shuddered every time he thought of what would be if, chas v’shalom, this continued.

He had decided to put everything in his life on hold to see what could be done for his son. After a while he thought, “If I go to the Rebbe, he will definitely give me a brochah, and/or advice and guidance on how to bring my son back to the proper derech.”

As much as his son’s situation bothered him, he knew, upon arrival in Mezritch, that a chossid does not rush into the Rebbe’s room. First one has to prepare himself. When he was finally admitted into the Maggid’s room for yechidus, he poured out his heart about his son’s improper conduct, and how all of his and others’ efforts had been fruitless.

The Maggid listened intently to every word and shared his talmid’s pain. After a few moments of deep thought, he sadly informed him that he was terribly sorry but there was nothing he could do to help guide his son back to the proper path.

As heartbroken as the chossid was up until this point, he was now devastated. If the Rebbe couldn’t help, that meant no one could help, and there was no way to save his son. The thought itself sent shudders through his body. When he left the Maggid’s room, he broke down in uncontrollable sobs.

After a few short moments, his chaverim, the fellow talmidim of the Maggid, came over to calm him down and find out what was the problem.
Between sobs, they heard his heart-wrenching story. “And now that the Rebbe said there is nothing that he could do, what will be?” The chossid once again began weeping and his chaverim cried silently with him.

The Alter Rebbe, who was the youngest of the talmidim, spoke up. “Tell your son in my name that if he doesn’t change his ways, I will put him in kerem!”

The heartbroken father looked up at the Alter Rebbe in bewilderment. Kerem means “a vineyard,” so how was this strange threat going to change his son? However, he also realized that since no one else had offered any advice or ideas, he had nothing to lose, especially since the Alter Rebbe was held in the greatest esteem by their Rebbe the Maggid. So if he was saying this, he wasn’t just saying it as a jest; he must have good reason to believe that it would help.

With the blessings of his fellow chaverim that this strange advice would help, the chossid hastily returned home and looked for his son.

As soon as he saw him, he said in the sternest voice he could muster, “My son, you know that I made this special trip to Mezeritch because of your improper behavior. You should know that the Rebbe’s favorite talmid, HaRav Zalminyu, told me in the presence of all the talmidim to warn you that if you don’t change your ways, he will chas v’shalom place you in kerem.”

The smirk left the young man’s face and in a trembling voice, he said, “I didn’t realize [my behavior] was so bad. From this very moment, I am going to change.”

Keeping to his word, he indeed changed and a few months later he asked his father to please take him to the Maggid so that he could ask the Maggid to help guide him on his way of teshuvah. The father was only too happy to oblige and off they went.

Arriving in Mezeritch, the son had his yechidus almost immediately after arriving there. The Maggid instructed him how to conduct himself from now on and what he should learn in order for his teshuvah to be accepted. His father’s yechidus was sometime later.

When the Maggid spoke privately to the father, he had already had the opportunity to observe the young man and asked with both delight and wonder, “Is this the son you cried so bitterly about?”

After receiving an affirmative answer, the Maggid asked in astonishment, “So how did you get him to change his ways? Of course, I am extremely happy about it, but sadly to say, I just couldn’t see any way to help him.”

The chossid repeated the entire story to him: how, after leaving the previous yechidus, Rav Zalminyu and all the chavraiya kadisha saw his deep distress and Rav Zalminyu gave him the strange advice. But baruch Hashem it had helped. The Maggid then blessed the father, informing him that when he spoke separately to the son, he gave him guidance and blessing him as well. They happily left.

Calling in his prize talmid, the Maggid said, “You should be Rebbe instead of me, since it is clear that you are greater than I. It was impossible for me to save him, but you succeeded.”

The Alter Rebbe replied, “Chas v’shalom! The Rebbe is Rebbe. So why was I able to get him to change his ways, while the Rebbe wasn’t? Very simple. I am a Litvak, so I fooled him. I said I would put him in kerem. In the son’s simplicity, he thought that I really said something else [cher… which means excommunication from all Jews, chas v’sholom]. The son probably thought that his father was afraid to utter that terrible word so he changed the first letter from a ches to a kof and said kerem.

“Hearing such a terrible punishment shocked the young man, and baruch Hashem he decided to change his ways. The Rebbe on the other hand is completely holy. It would never enter his mind to fool anyone, even if it was for his or her benefit. To lie or fool someone is out of the question. Therefore the Rebbe was not able to help.”

Accepting the answer, the Maggid said, “However, from now on, you, Zalminyu, should also wear white clothing, just as I do.”

Fearing that this would cause jealousy amongst his fellow talmidim, the Alter Rebbe instead continued wearing his regular clothing. Even after one of his closest chaverim, Reb Zushe of Anipoli, told him he must listen to their Rebbe, the Alter Rebbe still could not bring himself to wear white [which was a sign of being a manhig (leader),] like the Maggid.

Years later, after the histalkus of the Maggid, when strong and sometimes bitter disagreements arose between the Alter Rebbe (who was now Rebbe) and some of his fellow talmidim of the Maggid concerning his philosophy of publicizing Chassidus, Reb Zushe said to him, “Zalminyu Zalminyu, if only you would have listened to the Rebbe, a lot of aggravation would have been avoided.”

Just to note one aspect of my father’s hiskashrus to the Rebbe; until his petira in 5762 (2001), he would constantly remind us of how many days it is from the last time we were zoche to see the Rebbe with our physical vision. To him, every day was another day of extra darkness. He never accepted to live as if this is the new normal. Every day we must cry out AD MASEI!!!

This weeks’ post is l’zchus the complete and immediate refuah for my sister Chaya Rivkah bas Cheyena and all those in need of a brocha.

Rabbi Avtzon is a veteran mechanech and the author of numerous books on the Rebbeim and their chassidim. He can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com