My Cayman Islands Rosh Hashana Experience

As some of you may know, this week is a big week for us Children of Abraham. It’s Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur, our big holidays, when even if you don’t do another Jewish thing all year, you gotta do this. We used to hate it as kids, having to go to services FOUR WHOLE TIMES in the space of about 10 days. I guess as you get older, you don’t mind so much – either because you like the ritual or because you’re getting close to your “Use By” date and you want to have all the bases covered.

Whatever the case, where does one find fellow Members of the Tribe (MOT’s) for the biggest, Jewiest week of the year on one of the churchiest islands in the Caribbean? On the internets of course.

I Google “Jews + Cayman” and find there is a small, loosely organized community here that holds High Holy Day services in a small ballroom at the Ritz Hotel. So I show up to meet the cousins and it was delightful. There were about 40-50 people and a full-tilt Orthodox Rabbi and Cantor from an organization called Chabad, the Othodox guys with full beards, dark fedoras, and black suits. They look just like Matisyahu but they don’t sing reggae.

I kind of think of Chabad like the Orthodox Jewish version of Mormon Missionaries. One of their goals is to bring big time orthodox, keep kosher, separate the men from the women, super Judiasm to us wayward souls in out of the way places (and US college campuses) that don’t have any other choices. (I know I’ve probably got this wrong on a number of levels, but what the heck, it’s my blog. As the great Talmudic scholar and major league umpire Jocko Conolan said, “I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em.”)

So the Chabad crew shows up from Brooklyn for 10 days in Cayman, not a bad posting, I’m guessing. They could have ended up in Iowa or Somalia, not that those two places have much in common other than underserved MOT’s, and scenery not nearly as nice as here. They are charming nice guys, warm and friendly. I’m guessing that’s all part of what makes a good missionary. Who’s gonna want to switch teams if the guy doing the outreach is a crank?

Services were all in Hebrew, which I can’t read, speak, or understand. We all know a few prayers from years of repetition, but even those sounded different. Women were separated from the men by a screen of tall plants. The best thing, it was mercifully short. It’s amazing how fast you can get your business done with God when you’re only doing it in one language, without a choir, and the Rabbi speed reads Hebrew. Redemption in a jiffy – me like dat.

It was lovely to meet other MOT’s who welcomed me warmly. About half were Americans, several of whom have been here decades, others who have been here less time on job postings with financial companies. Also showing up, several Israelis, a few from Argentina, some Brits, and yet another fine couple from Uruguay. It was very cozy, nice bonding with all of us looking for a taste of our roots on an island of transients.