Rabbi Levi Margolin

Op-Ed: Don’t Call Me Haredi

My parents raised me and my six siblings in Norfolk, VA, in essence, as the only “Haredi” kids in our day-school classes. As the “ultra-orthodox” kids who kept strict kosher, never drove on Shabbat, and who were wildly different from (and significantly shorter than!) the others. But yet, we were welcomed by our peers because we welcomed them.

We were (and my parents still are) the Chabad representatives in Southeastern Virginia.

Today, I am, to the best of my ability, an observant Jew. I am a Chabadnik. I am a Hassidic Jew. I love every Jew. They are my “mishpoche” – my family.

I wish every Jew would be observant but at the same time strongly believe in the right and ability of every Jew to choose his or her own way. I believe that is the Jewish way. I believe this is the [true] Haredi way.

This is the fashion in which we were raised. To love everyone, unconditionally.

To love does not always mean to agree and today I have a strong disagreement.

Call me an orthodox Jew if you will (though I believe labels distance us as a people). Call me a Chabadnik (I welcome it). Call me Hassidic.

Don’t call me Haredi.

Don’t call me Haredi because today I am embarrassed by [a small group of] my brothers – and sisters – the “ultra orthodox” community in Israel, the Holy Land. Today, I do not wish to be associated with that Haredi community.

Agree with Women of the Wall or not, reports of Haredi women physically attacking members of the controversial group at the Western Wall on Monday drew bad feelings in my heart. At the Kotel, a venue they clearly hold in reverence, they chose to assault other Jews.

Tuesday, as a uniformed IDF soldier – a hero in my eyes – walked through Mea Shearim, a Haredi neighborhood in Jerusalem, he was attacked by a mob of Haredi youth as he tried to make his way along the road. There were eggs hurled in his direction and fists thrust at his body. The thought of a Jewish, Israeli hero, putting himself forward to allow us all to live here, being accosted literally angered me.

I understand their agitation and uncertainty surrounding government discussion regarding drafting Haredi men to the army and their quickly changing status in Israel’s society but, my friends, this is not the Jewish way. This is certainly not the Hassidic way and this is most definitely not the Haredi way.

Today we find ourselves in the “nine days” period. These are nine days of symbolic mourning to commemorate the destruction of the “Beit HaMikdash” (the Holy Temple) in Jerusalem centuries ago. Jewish history teaches us that “sinat chinam” (hatred of others) is to be credited for the Temple’s destruction.

During the nine days, I would expect tolerance and love to take the front page, not G-d forbid, the unfortunate opposite.

I would love to be called a Haredi. A true Haredi that is. A Haredi associated with love. A Haredi that is involved with the large scale “Bikur Cholim” societies that care for the ill. The Haredis that care for every jew and perform unlimited, unmatched “chessed” (acts of kindness). The Haredis that are time and again responsible for countless scenarios of “Kiddush Hashem.”

Not the [small, but unfortunately very loud group of] Haredis that are in the news today. Take a moment, consider what a Haredi truly is. Haredi means “one who trembles” and is in the context of someone who trembles or is in fear before G-d.

Would a true Haredi dare do G-d’s job by judging his subjects?

A true Haredi would love each Jew unconditionally. A true Haredi would pray for those he believes are in the wrong to find truth (as I find myself doing for the Haredi community tonight). A true Haredi would never lift a finger on another Jew, another of G-d’s chosen people.

I call upon all Haredi leadership to speak out against violence and support love of the Jewish people as the true alternative. In the spirit of “Ahavat Yisrael” and Jewish unity – especially in these nine days – it is crucial that we set aside our quibbles and stand together as one.

We may have differences, but we are one. The Jewish people.

I strive for the day when all Haredism will return to their roots.

I will then be proud to be called Haredi.

26 Comments

  • Way to go!

    G-d bless you for addressing the “us versus them” mentality. It’s just so WRONG.

  • Citizen Berel

    This is very encouraging.

    You are one of the good ones.

    Some of my best friends are charedi.

  • I love Levi

    I love Levi..But this is dangerous talk
    There is a Lashon of the Rebbe
    when a Shaliach wanted to say he wasn’t “orthodox”
    that for 200 years since the Alter Rebbe we battled to be a part of the recognized frum world and you want to exclude us –
    We are Hardeiim – Sorry-
    Are there bad apples? Yes
    Does everything they do represent us ? No

    Yet what are we …if not Chareidim

    Nice Sentiment ..From a Deep Place..Yet imho-dangerous retoric

  • Reader

    Extremely well written and heartfelt.
    Thank you as I feel many fee the same way that you do!
    Beautiful article!!!

  • Why blame "Hareidim"

    Don’t call you Hareidi, because some beheimahs attacked a fellow Jew? So, by the same reasoning you should be ashamed to be Lubavitch – yes there has been violence among Lubavitchers in our recent history.

    YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING. THIS IS SICK! Unless you are descended from the original 12 tribes, what business so we have splitting off, where there is Lubavitch, Satmar, Belz, Breslov, Litvish, Chassidim, Misnagdim, Meshichists, Mainstream, etc.?

    I know a camp survivor who said, “it was here I learned the meaning of hate.” Not from the Nazis, Y”SH, but from the Yidden bickering at each other based on national origin (e.g the Czechs hated the Hungarians, etc.)!!!

  • Batta

    Could not agree more. Me as well of most of my shul 100% agree with this powerful message

  • a shliach

    Imagine for a moment you wrote this and gave it to the Rebbe, what sort of reponse you would get:
    Ask 3 senior chassidim (shluchim whatever) how they think the Rebbe would respond to this article.
    You could say: i strongly disagree with what they did, but now your not charadi, so what are you? modern orthodox?
    Rechmana Litzlan

  • Anonymous

    excuse me, but this is a distorted perspective of the subject hand. of course is hitting another jew unbearable and it should not become at all a reality in the Israel of today. unfortunately the secular media and politics actively try to stand up all kinds of different religious groups against each other in manner that all these things happen and religious people look ugly. they want to split the unity of the torah observant people, simply as that. everyone agrees upon ahavas israel, but please practice this also in your article keneged your religious brothers and sisters in the Holy land, that fear their and their childrens existence and that have not a comfortable american life. They are simply very tight in their life and i can understand very well, that half naked woman with Tfillin and tallis on their head can agitate them …. for us far away from their realities it’s always easy to speak nice and to follow the common political correct opinion. it almost seems, that peolpe that don’t care a bit about torah get more mercy from you then your stressed religious brothers and sisters …. think about a bit more

  • Ari

    The situation in Israel has gotten out of control. Jews hurting fellow Jews. Smh.

    • Boruch, regret

      I regretfully wrote the above comment and I apologize, as I am in no position to judge anybody

  • Your father

    To all the people upset here who are actually Frum, erlich Chabad Chassisdim and not leftist forum troll trouble makers.

    Please stop for a moment and consider how any shaliach and his zealous followers would react should those leftist anti-religious shiksas appear in his shul pulling their shtick during a minyan.

    You can bet your bottom dollar that they’d be physically and instantly evicted faster than you can say Yechi HaMelech. Likely with a few well deserved potches thrown in for good measure.

    Wake up. Those people are at war with us and do not deserve any kind of kindness or courtesy. Ask your zeides how the “enlightenment” gangsters of the 1800’s were dealt with.

  • Chabad is the best!

    You are right. You took the words out of my mouth, Levi. You are not Haredi!
    The Haredi people would never allow a group of girls to bike cross country for Friendship Circle, like was reported in the news this week.
    The Haredi people would never allow non Jewish children in their preschool or kindergarten like the Habad does.
    The Haredi people do not allow secular education and college keeping themselves ignorant and primitive, speaking only Yidddish, but Habad is educated and speak great english, get educated, go to collage etc.
    The Haredi people look down at women and put them behind ugly barriers in Shul, unlike the Habad Shul I go to, that there are just a few plants and we can see each other throughout the Prayers.
    I love the flavour of Habad were you get the best of both worlds, modernity and engagement with modern life but with a Hasidic flavour and twist.
    The Haredi are so regressive while Habad are so progressive!

  • dovid

    It’s really sad to see a Lubavitcher who went through our Chinuch system write such an article.
    Even sadder that he probably doesn’t even realize what is wrong with it.

    Hopefully someone will sit down with him and explain where he went wrong.

  • Missing the point

    You should be proud to be called Charedi because the people who physically attack women or Israeli soldiers are not Chareidi. Maybe they call themselves that, and the world calls them that, but as you pointed out, one who really “trembles before G-d” would never do those things. Just like people who hate Israel talk about “justice” and what they want is the opposite of justice. It doesn’t mean Judaism rejects justice, it means the way they define it is false. Our job is to teach people what “justice” truly means, and what “Chareidi” truly means, not to run from these words and let our enemies define them.

  • Think about it

    Forget about Haredi for a minute. If every time a yid did something assur we all declared that we were embarrassed to be yidden, there would be no yiddishkeit.

  • Aliza BasMenachem Karp

    I am going to take this in a different direction. Although I empathize with the author. I want to open a new perspective. One that is rarely presented. Charedim are not about to defend their image in the world of opinions – I am going to take their case.

    I appreciate a Jewish soldier who is fighting my wars against our enemies.
    And I also appreciate the Charedim, esepecially in Yerushalaim, who are fighting my wars for the sanctity of our Holy City and our Holy Land.
    I wish they would not use ugly methods. But I understand that when a person feels his core being is threatened, he or she will act out.

    The issue of the Women of the Wall (aka WOW), and Charedim being herded into the army, are not small things. They are not quibbles. They touch the core of Jewish values and threaten to introduce deadly poison. The Charedim are more sensitive to these threats that we are, and they are responding as a threatened person responds. Scream, kick, bite… throw eggs and throw punches.

    In Chabad we concentrate on doing good. If we double doing good we know that the bad will be defeated. A small candle lights up a room of darkness. We are not fighters.
    I think that Chabad is able to operate on friendly middle ground because our brothers and sisters of the Charedi communities protect our boundaries.

    Are we to allow Women of the Wall their freedom? And what about Jews for Jesus bringing a statue to the Kotel? (I hope I am not giving anyone ideas.) The WOW welcome men into their ceremonies and they cause men to hear Kol Eisha. They have to be dealt with. They are a hostile group with hostile intentions. I agree with the girl who would not carry a note to the Kotel on behalf of one of the WOW. You do not accommodate an attacker. The WOW are attacking the sanctity and traditions of the Kotel. They are trying to establish evidence on the ground for their devious, destructive practices.

    As for the poor soldier who was attacked. The Charedi communities are facing a movement to have them go into an army full of girl soldiers. Years ago when I lived in Yerushalaim, my doctor went on reserve army duty. He told me he spent the whole four weeks doing non-stop abortions. A friend of mine recently told me that there are signs up for girl soldiers to get birth control. I hope that helps stop the abortions. When my husband went to do army service – with a religious group – his officer was a woman. The Charedim do not want their sons in such an army! Unfortunately they took out their wrath on a soldier who is not guilty of the crime. But again, when your core values are being threatened, you lash out.

    I have published a book about the Disengagement/Expulsion from Gush Katif. The destruction of Gush Katif was evil. And that evil lives on. Destroyed lives have not been fixed. The residents of Gush Katif did not fight. They lost everything. Sometimes we have to set aside our image and fight for what is right. Or we could lose everything.

  • Ashamed?

    Me too.
    Ashamed. Also to be a Jew.
    (That comes later.)
    R”L there is a wind in the air, where many Lubavitcher chassidim are no longer comfortable with who they are.. Cut down on the beard.and also the dress. Imitate a glamor girl.
    For what other motivation is there to look like the goyim. Leave that for the Jewish Americans (as in Mod Orth).
    We are Jewish Americans. Jewish first. Chassidim first. Shomrei Torah Umitzvois. Behidur. Like a chareidi is. They have their choice aveiros. So do we. Different ones.
    For those who haven’t noticed, if you keep the yidishkeit al pi Shulchan Aruch, “they” will target you as Chareidi. Some have dogs to sniff the status.
    It is of human nature,under stressful conditions, to call brothers “them”, and to call others “we”.
    Unfortunately there were Jews in Europe who tried that. Because they were embarrassed, and stressed. Some became kapos or collaboraters R”L.
    BUT the Lubavitchers in USSR knew who they were, and lived in the spirit of “feif dir on”. Unfortunately that attitude was continued after it was needed, and has become part of our culture.

    • Citizen Berel

      I agree with your point Mr. Ashamed?, but you should for now on know that American Jew is more Jewish than a Jewish American. What comes first is but an adjective describing the noun — the former is an American who is Jewish while the latter is a Jew who is American. The latter is is preferable.

      No need to thank me I am a giver.

  • Great Dane

    Now is a time for unity; not to point fingers at other Jews. I think the timing of this article was less than optimal.

  • All I could say of the writer & those who agree with him

    Is NEBACH!

    Where have we gotten, a big portion of us today is modern orthodox.

    Btw; pickup a ‘kuntres umayan’ read the introduction, 2- see the letters the rebbe rashab wrote about the ,,,,,,,,,.

  • Shimon Shak

    Don’t fall victim to the zionist plot to fry out the Ultra-Orthodox population of Israel!!! If you think what I’m saying is BS just look at the before and after for the sefardim/Yemenite populations that went through the system in Israel!! Before 100% frum and after 20% at best!!

  • with the old breed

    hey, how can you be so not positive. Every group has its problems so what!!! Look for the good it is there. You have a problem with what people call you? Laibels are for clothing not for Jews! You want to be Chabad? You want to make a Kiddish Lubavitch? There is so much to do and the time is late, Please do something positive today. Love your brother.